by Stella James
“I’m not leaving you here alone, Asher. So please just talk to me.”
“I don’t want to fucking talk to you!” He roars.
“Why the fuck not?!” I shout back.
“Because I fucking hate seeing you! Because every damn time I look at you I’m reminded of who I used to be and it makes me fucking angry that I’m so fucked up! You think you’re going to come here and what? Save me? You think you can make me forget? Well you can’t!”
“What are you talking about? I’m not here to make you forget anything, I’m here because I want to help you get through it all!”
“Well, I don’t need you. All I need is a bottle of booze and a good fuck and you’re neither of those things.”
I close the gap between us until a mere foot separates our bodies. I can feel my own frustration building as his anger radiates off of him in waves.
“Oh, is this what we’re doing now? You really want to go there, fine. Two weeks after you left for basic training, I lost my virginity to Robbie Trainor.” He clenches his jaw and I know I should stop baiting him but I can’t stop the words as they tumble from my lips. “Yeah, that’s right. In his old Chevy. And let me tell you, it was God damn magical. So maybe you should phone him up and ask him what kind of a “fuck” I am since apparently that’s your new prerequisite for friendship. I’m sure he has all kinds of insightful things to share with you. And if he doesn’t go ahead and phone the other men I’ve fucked over the last nine God damn years!”
I turn to leave but I’m quickly pulled back when one of his muscular arms snakes around my waist and spins me to face him. His mouth is on mine, devouring my protest before I even know what hits me.
Chapter 8
Asher
Fuck it. I have completely lost all control. The minute my lips touched hers, all reason went out the window. My mouth on Katie’s feels as natural as breathing. I’m done fighting myself. For days I’ve wanted to feel her skin against mine, I’ve wanted to taste her and feel her fall apart. I feel a need for her that I’ve never felt before. The friendship that bound us together for so many years has evolved into a raw desire that I can’t deny. Everything in my head is cluttered and unsure except for the aching that I feel for her. She’s a glimpse of something good and real and I’m clinging to it with every fibre of my being. Ever since that night she slept beside me, I’ve been rejecting my urge to need her. I want the woman she is now and when I saw her crouched down, picking weeds out of that half dead flower bed I was seconds away from taking her. Before I could give into that desire, resentment took over and I reminded myself just how messed up I am. The anger came next and I left with no destination in mind. I ended up at Mac’s, drinking alone and avoiding every single person in that damn bar.
My hands grip her ass as I lift her up, her long legs wrap firmly around my waist. I can’t get enough of her, it’s like tasting a drug for the first time. There is nothing graceful or gentle about the way we rub against each other. She breaks our kiss long enough to pull her shirt over her head. I reach behind her with one hand and flick open the clasp of her sexy pink bra. Her tits press up against my chest when I take her mouth again. I swallow her moan and walk us to the bedroom. I stop in front of the bed, she unwraps her legs and slides down my body. Her slim fingers fumble with the button of my jeans, and as she pushes them down my legs, I pull my own shirt over my head and throw it on the floor behind me. I stand in front of her and wait for the look of pity that will easily have the power to pull me from the moment. But when Katie looks at me, at my ugly scars, there is no pity in her stare. The darkening need that was present in her green eyes just moments ago has not waivered. She runs her finger tips over the raised skin on my side and brings her lips to my chest. I nudge her onto the bed and pull off her tight black pants, leaving her in nothing but a sheer scrap of pink fabric. Her legs fall open and she reaches for me. I swear I’ve never been so desperate for such a small gesture. I cover her body with mine and pin one of her smooth legs up towards her shoulder, bringing my aching cock in line with the heat between her thighs. I nip and suck the skin along her neck as she gasps beneath me, grinding her hips up to meet mine.
“Asher, please, I need more,” she pants the words out, I can feel her heart pounding against my own. She pushes my boxers down and gives my throbbing cock a tight squeeze with her hand before I rip the panties from her body in one harsh tug. I need her too damn much to wait. I catch her gaze with mine and hold it as I brush my shaft along her wet seam.
“This changes everything Katie.”
She keeps her eyes on mine. “Promise?”
I sink inside her in one harsh thrust. Feeling her around me is fucking bliss. I pull almost all the way out before plunging in again, this time harder. Her nails dig into my shoulders, her head is thrown back in pleasure.
“Fuck, Katie you feel so good.”
She tangles her fingers in my hair and pulls my mouth to hers. We taste each other frantically as I drive in and out of her in long, hard strokes. She’s dripping wet around my cock, her greedy pussy sucks me in tight and reluctantly lets go each time I pull back.
“Tell me, Katie, tell me you’ve wanted this as bad as I have.” I need to hear her say it. I roll us over without breaking our connection, she sits up and slides back and forth along my length. Her hair falls in a mess of waves around her shoulders, her neck is red from the roughness of my beard. There isn’t a single thing about her that is neat or controlled and I fucking love it.
“I’ve wanted you, Asher. God I’ve wanted you,” she gasps.
I grip her hips roughly as she rides my cock. I can feel her thighs trembling against me. We aren’t just fucking, we’re giving into the tension that has been teasing us both for days. I’m so damn close, I bring one of her hands to my mouth and lick the tips of her fingers before placing them on her swollen clit. I keep my hand on hers and force her to massage the small bead.
“Cum for me, Katie. I need to feel you baby.”
Her movements still as her climax rips through her, I plunge up hard and cum as she pulses around me, drenching me with her orgasm. I can feel the combination of us dripping out of her, coating our skin. Her body goes limp against mine as I roll us over so we now face each other. She blinks her eyes open. I may not be a saint when it comes to sex but I’ve never felt half as much with another woman that I just felt with Katie. For the first time since I woke up in that hospital bed, I feel something other than bitterness and the pressure of my own suffocating thoughts.
“That night with Robbie, I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” she says quietly. “You had only been gone for two weeks but I missed you so much. It felt like part of me was fading away and I’ve felt it all over again this last six months, Asher. I don’t ever want to feel like that again.”
I kiss her softly and wipe the silent tears that run down her beautiful face. We never crossed the boundaries of our friendship as kids but we are different now. Everything is different. Maybe what we feel now has always been under the surface, just waiting for time and circumstance.
“You’re the only light that exists in the darkness around me and I’m terrified that one day I’ll walk through that door and you’ll be gone. I’m so fucked up, Katie.”
She places her hand on my chest.
“We’ll figure it out together, I promise,” she says.
For the first time in months, I feel it. It’s faint, but it’s there. Hope.
Chapter 9
Kate
I wake up in Asher’s bed, alone. I feel a dull pain between my thighs which reassures me that last night wasn’t a dream. I had sex with Asher Montgomery. And not just regular sex. I had mind blowing, amazing, makes me wet just thinking about it, sex. I’m fully aware that everything between us has shifted into unknown territory. I won’t say that I’m in love with Asher, or that I’ve been harbouring secret feelings for him all these years, but something about last night felt right. It felt natural. Being with him felt like f
inding a missing piece of myself. It’s true, the boy I once knew is gone but the man in his place has awakened feelings within me that I never could have predicted. The scent of coffee pulls me from my thoughts. I grab one of Asher’s T-shirts and throw it on before I make my way to the kitchen. I’m not sure what kind of reaction I’m about to get but I sure as hell hope it isn’t one filled with regret. I walk down the short hallway and stop abruptly to take in the view before me. Asher is standing at the kitchen sink, staring out the window and sipping a cup of coffee. His shaggy brown hair is tied back, a pair of dark lounge pants hang loose around his waist and his chest is bare. The muscles in his back flex with even the slightest movement while I stand there and watch, fighting the urge to run my tongue along all of those deliciously hard lines.
“Good morning, Katie.” He doesn’t turn around as I walk straight to the coffee pot and pour myself a cup.
“Good morning. How did you sleep?”
He turns to face me and I swear I can feel the warmth of his smile all the way down to my soul. He places his mug on the counter and takes mine from my hands, repeating the motion. He pulls me to him and holds me tightly to his chest.
“I slept better than I have in years, Katie.”
My body molds into him and I feel safe. Safe to accept that this could be the beginning of something wonderful, safe to believe that everything will be okay and safe enough to allow myself to fall just a little bit.
“Every letter you sent, every email, every package…all of it Katie, it got me through the worst of everything. I want you to know that,” he says quietly.
“I want you to talk to me when you’re ready Asher. I can’t take the memories away, but I can help you carry the burden if you’ll let me.” I know that it will take time, but I promised him that we’d figure this out together, and I’ll keep that promise no matter what.
Asshole stretches from his bed and wanders into the kitchen, nudging me to let him outside.
“Let the dog out, I’ll make us something to eat,” he says.
*
We sit at the kitchen table and eat eggs on toast while the dog lays at our feet. We talk easily as if we are all of a sudden picking up right where we left off before Asher was injured. I tell him about Mona and Walker and show him some new pictures of Cole and Lily’s twins. I don’t push him to reciprocate but I maintain hope that he will open up to me when he’s ready.
Since Asher cooked, I insist on doing the dishes and cleaning up. I’m just putting away the last plate when I can feel the warmth from his body. His arms come around me from behind and he braces the counter on either side, caging me in as I lean back into him. Desire pools between my legs at the mere thought of him taking me. He drags his lips across the back of my neck and removes the tie from my hair. I can barely contain the whimper of anticipation that crosses my lips when he firmly turns me to face him. His dark brown eyes encompass everything that I’m feeling. I want him to take control. I want him to be unapologetic about it. I’ve never wanted to take such a submissive role with a man before, but Asher pulls it from me as if he has always owned that part of me. I look down at his strong arms on either side of me and lick my lips before I bring my gaze back to his. His jaw clenches and I continue to wait for him to give in. My mind wills him to let go of everything but the two of us. I lean up and bring my lips to his ear.
“You can take whatever you want from me, Asher. I’ll give you anything” I whisper.
He exhales roughly and before I can back down, he grips my hair and presses his lips tightly against mine. My body immediately begins to burn, I can feel the wetness between my thighs as my core pulses with need. Everything that surrounds us goes blurry, my desire to please him makes me unsteady. He rips his mouth from mine and pulls the T-shirt up and off my body before dropping to his knees in front of me.
“Spread your legs Katie,” he growls as he inhales my arousal and groans in appreciation.
I comply without hesitation and part my legs eagerly. I don’t recognize myself when Asher and I are together but rather than frighten me, it excites me. I may be the submissive one but the image of Asher on his knees is a sensual reminder of what he will give me in return. He takes one long swipe along my slit with his tongue and pauses to savour my taste.
“Fuck,” he murmurs as he turns me back around. He lays down on the floor beneath me and roughly guides my hips down so that I’m hovering above his mouth. He doesn’t release me as he pulls me closer and licks my pussy as if he’s starved for it. My hands grip the ledge of the counter, my thighs are shaking as my hips sway back and forth. I grind myself against his mouth with complete abandon. Every moan and every ounce of my pleasure belongs to him.
“Asher, oh God Asher, please don’t stop,” my voice is desperate and pleading.
His tongue grazes my clit before he sucks the swollen pearl into his mouth and nibbles lightly with his teeth. He’s holding my hips in place, demanding that I take everything he gives me. His fingers dig into my flesh and I am certain that I’ll wear his mark for days. I can’t hold back anymore, my orgasm rips through me without mercy. Asher licks up every single drop as I breathlessly chant his name over and over. I can no longer hold myself up, every muscle in my body is weak. He pulls me down and flips me onto my back.
“I need to be inside you Katie. I need to feel your sweet tasting pussy around me.”
He pulls his cock free from his pants and pushes inside me. I’m still sensitive and the feeling of him invading me is so much more than I can take. The pleasure I feel mixes with the faint twinge of pain and fills me with such want that I don’t even recognize the sound of my own voice as I beg him for more.
“Fuck, Katie, no one will ever fuck you like I can. I’ll ruin you and no one will ever give you what I can.” His words are harsh and overwhelming and I know he’s right. No one has ever satisfied my need the way that he does.
“Cum with me, Katie, I want to feel you squeeze me.” My second orgasm crashes through me and I grip his shoulders tightly as he drives into me, chasing his own relief. We come down from the high together and lay on the kitchen floor catching our breath. I turn on my side and he does the same. We face each other but don’t speak. My lips seek his for a moment of tenderness which he gives me without hesitation. For the first time in my life, I don’t have a plan. I have no idea where this is going or how far we’ll take it. But I want to stay in this moment with Asher for as long as I can, with his arms around me and his heart beating gently against mine.
Chapter 10
Asher
The darkness around me is suffocating. I blink several times but my eyes won’t adjust. I can feel the sweat dripping down my spine as the heat surrounds me. Suddenly the darkness lifts and I’m kneeling in the sand. I can see Grady and Jamison, their bodies are bloodied and still. There’s soldiers around me shouting but I can’t make sense of anything. It’s so loud and all I want is the quiet. Will it ever be quiet again? I look over to my left and she’s there. She’s holding out her hand. She wants to save me but she can’t. No one can save me.
I open my eyes and I’m immediately aware of the soft, warm body wrapped around mine. The bedroom is still dark, it’s not quite five a.m. and although I’ve slept soundly for the last several nights, some habits are too hard to break. This is the third morning in a row that I’ve woken up with Katie in my arms and I still have to convince myself that it’s not a dream. Not only is she here with me but she chooses to be with me. The fragments of my dream begin to fade away as I focus on her steady breathing. She looks so peaceful beside me and I try in vain to soak in a fraction of that peace for myself. I gently lift her arm and slide from the bed.
I look at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. For the first time in over six months, I actually give a shit about how broken I am. I splash cold water on my face and feel the heat on my skin begin to evaporate. I look in the mirror and this time my eyes meet hers. She smiles with understanding and hands me a towel. She leans into
me from behind, bringing her arms around me she places her hands on my chest and for just a second I let her take some of the pain away.
“Asher?”
I let go of my breath and place my hands above hers. “Yeah?”
“Take me fishing.”
The sun is just coming up as I push off the dock and start the engine. The lake is calm and quiet. I crave the quiet more now than I ever have. Katie sits across from me, her hair tucked up under one of my hats and a tackle box at her feet. And just like that, we’re seventeen again.
“Mona would shit her pants if she saw you out here wiping worm guts on your jeans,” I say with a laugh. I’m just teasing her but it’s true. No one would ever believe that prim and proper Kate Stone spends her Sunday mornings sitting on an old aluminum boat surrounded by the smell of fish and beef jerky. I would be lying if I said that it didn’t make me feel smug knowing that I’m the one who gets to witness it.
“Yeah well, don’t go blabbing, I take my reputation as the class prude very seriously,” she says with a wink.
“Speaking of which, did you know that Josh and Brian have a bet to see who can score with you before graduation?” I was pissed when I overheard that shit in the locker room last week. I told those fuckers to shut their mouths, a lot of good that did. I’m just as guilty of chasing tail but those guys are idiots and Katie’s more than just a piece of ass.
Her eyes widen and she fans her face with her hand.
“Oh my, Josh and Brian? How will I ever choose between them? Please, oh great football king, you must tell me how I can become worthy of such generous suiters,” she pretends to bow at my feet before flashing me a wide smile and blowing me a kiss. I chuck an empty soda can at her and our laughter echoes off the water.
