by Stacy Borel
It’s what life does to me. Except it wasn’t right now.
“It’s not that I don’t like you enough. That’s never been the case.” I started clicking my nails. “But you are…” What did I compare him too? “You’re a unicorn,” I blurted. What in the world?
His eyes grew wide and I could tell full blown hysterics were about to come rolling out of him at any second. I commended him for staying as composed as he currently was.
“A unicorn,” he stated, his mouth twitching.
I held firm. “That’s what I said. A mother-freaking unicorn,” I finalized it with a nod.
“And you never cuss, do you?”
“Not if I can help it.”
“That’s cute.”
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. All I’m saying is... you’re perfect. And being with me will wreck it. I might as well cut off your horn.”
He chuckled and grabbed my hands, which were now tapping a million miles an hour. “I’m not sure where you are going with this horns business, and unicorns, but it doesn’t have to be that complicated.”
I sighed and looked down. “Well, it kind of is. This was sprung on me, literally. You show up at my school. A school I chose just to be far enough away from everything I knew back home. Then you demand a friendship with me. Then those lines were blurred when you kissed me and I have no clue what’s been happening since. What we have right now is nice. And by nice I mean, if you got up and walked out to go be with someone else, or to sow your wild oats or whatever it is you boys do, I’d understand. Sure I’d probably cry and gain ten pounds eating Ben and Jerry’s for a week straight, but I’d get over it.”
He looked completely confused. “You’re losing me.”
“I’m saying this,” I motioned between us. “This doesn’t need a name. It’s doesn’t have to have the boyfriend and girlfriend title. We are just Hadley and Wrigley. Friends who like each other and are figuring it out.”
He was looking at me. Hazel eyes burned into mine. His expression was so intense I knew whatever was going to come out of his mouth was going to make me question everything I’d just said. I didn’t think I was ready for it.
“You don’t need to push me away at every turn just because you think I’m going to walk away. This isn’t a fluke, Hadley. Do you hear me? This wasn’t a fluke. I don’t believe in fate, and stars aligning and all that bullshit. I don’t read my damn astrology every day in the paper to know I’m going to have a good day. I already know I will because I get to hear from you.” He scooted closer to me and grabbed the sides of my face. His warm hands melted my skin and I pressed my cheek into them. “I am not a guy who will promise forever. I get that we are both young and figuring out our lives. I know you have yours mapped out just like I have mine. I’m not saying they will mesh and we have found the greatest love of loves. A title isn’t going to change anything that is already happening between us. I’m still going to want to kiss you every day whether I can say you’re my girlfriend or not. I’m not pushing this conversation for a fucking title. I just want to know where we both are. I’m not seeking out your heart to destroy it. But we would never know what this could be if we don’t actually give it a chance.”
Wow
It was the only word that was popping into my head. A speech like that didn’t really deserve a response. I didn’t even think I could form an educated one. His words rolled around in my head like a marble on an uneven floor. He simply wanted to try and see if this could go somewhere. How could I deny him that when it was something I wanted more than anything in the world? My dreams about Wrigley were coming true and I was literally speechless.
“Well then.” I felt a grin stretching from ear to ear. I knew I looked like a child smiling like this, but it was all I had.
He reciprocated my happiness. “So, how’s that studying going?”
I looked down at my open book, and the cards I’d set aside. “Excellent. I think I’m going to pass.” I shrugged sarcastically. He laughed.
“Great! Wanna make out?” He gave me a devilish smile that was infectious.
My heart kicked into overdrive and I exhaled loudly. “Sure. But I should tell you something.”
He looked at me waiting. “What’s that?”
“It’s kind of annoying how attractive you are.”
He coughed and laughed at the same time. “Hmmm, well, I’ve never heard that one before. Thanks I guess.”
I reached over and ruffled his hair. “This brown, shaggy mess just seems to fall into place perfectly every darn time. I bet you wake up looking like this.”
“Maybe.”
“And I’m sure you put in no thought to tossing on this skin tight t-shirt, not even realizing you would drive the girls wild.”
“Nope, not at all.”
His cockiness made me grin. “And those eyes… you look at me like I’m the only person in the room.”
He glanced around. “Hadley, you are the only person in the room.”
A laugh bubbled up my throat and I rolled my eyes. “Shut up, you knew what I meant.”
“I did.”
“So all of this,” I waved my hand in front of him. “This is seriously annoying. Could you try to find a way to stop being unfair to the male race? None of them stand a chance with you around.”
Wrigley was so amused by my offhanded compliments, he smiled as he reached over, grabbed my hips and tugged me towards him. I was so close that half of me was practically sitting in his lap. I would be if I unfolded my legs and wrapped them around his waist. He tapped my nose with his pointer finger in a childlike way.
“You are just full of the compliments today.”
“Stick around, I’ve got more up my sleeve,” I teased.
He placed a hand behind my neck, under my hair and yanked me to his waiting mouth. With a small exhale, I melted into the softness of his lips and forgot all about titles, studying, reasons why this could break me, and his stupid attractive hair.
WE MADE AN AGREEMENT. From that evening on, due to his distractions, we both needed, and I demanded, time to study and focus on things that weren’t in our little bubble we created. I didn’t want my grades slipping or, even worse, losing my scholarship because I was sucking face with a boy. I don’t think my parents would quite understand that one. And Wrigley needed to keep his grades up to keep playing on the team.
It was nearing the end of October and their season had ended a couple months ago, but the couch still required them to go to batting cages, and practice at an indoor field. Their current field was under construction and new seating was being added. He’d invited me to come to the batting cages for one practice and had a blast, until it had turned into a heated battle of who was a better batter.
“Your hips are turned all wrong,” he said. “Here, let me show you.”
He took a step towards me, but I held my hands up. “Freeze. I don’t need your fake distractions; I know what I’m doing.”
That cocky eyebrow raised. “Yeah? When did you become a pro?”
I wiggled my hips and squared up to the plate. “I’m not a novice. I’ve played before, remember we were on the same team.”
“And we were five, Hadley.”
“So what? It’s like riding a bike. You don’t forget this stuff.” I also may have watched you every time you batted, but that was neither here nor there.
I heard the machine winding up to shoot out the next ball. Wrigley had to adjust the speed so that it came out slow enough where I would have a chance hitting it. The cages were empty for the most part, except a father and son at one end, and a high school aged kid two cages down from them. The place was lit with bright florescent lights and it smelled of AstroTurf. You know, like that rubbery scent that you smell when you open a new package of rubber bands. Wrigley looked delicious as usual. He had one a worn pair of khaki colored cargo shorts that were ripped at the bottom, a maroon fitted shirt that hugged his chest nicely, and a black Yankees hat that he wore backwards. If eighteen-y
ear-old boys all looked this good, the world would certainly be in trouble.
If he so much as touched me, it would be game over. I wouldn’t even be able to dodge a ball a toddler threw at me with his distractions. Putting my elbow up and pointing it out, I had my legs shoulder width apart and I stared at the machine several yards away, impatiently waiting for it to surprise me with the next ball. Thus far, I had hit four out of seven balls. That may not have been the best average but I’d not hit a baseball since I was a kid playing in his parents’ field.
The ball shot out and I tensed. I wished these things happened in slow motion. I’d kick his butt then. As the ball came at me, I motioned to swing, just as the bat came in contact with the hard leather, the vibrations and sting went through my hands and I closed my eyes as a natural instinct. Hey, nobody said I was a professional ball player. I know you’re supposed to watch the follow through. The ball shot straight up in the air, then hit the netting slightly behind me.
Foul ball.
Wrigley chuckled. “Nice hit, Slugger.”
The bat dropped to my side and I turned to glare at him. “A hit is a hit. We never agreed that it had to be in bounds.”
He was amused. “Well, if that’s how we are going to play.”
“That’s the rules,” I stated, matter of fact.
He saluted me. I turned away from him and faced the pitching machine. The last two balls I missed completely. One of them I swung so hard, I twisted completely around. I thought Wrigley was going to pee his pants from laughing so hard. I tried to pretend I was mad at his heckling but I wasn’t. He was so playful, it was sweet.
When it was his turn, he made adjustments to speed up the ball. I watched him for the first time without any reservations of getting caught sneaking a peek. I was able to openly look and admire his ability and attractive qualities. How his stance was ridged, yet prepared to swing. How those hazel eyes focused on the balls shooting out over the plate. I enjoyed seeing how he was basking in his love of the sport, even if it wasn’t against a team. He was dedicated and passionate. It was a quality I found very attractive. Each time he hit, and the ball would go straight over the pitching machine, he would give himself a little nod, as if to say, ‘job well done’. It was very sweet to see.
We took turns hitting, about five times each. While I could do this all day, I could tell he had other things on his mind. “You ready to leave?” he asked.
I was putting my helmet up on a shelf when I felt him approaching me from behind. I held my breath, waiting for him to press up against my back, but it never came. Instead, he reached around me and put his helmet up next to mine. He exhaled and his breath blew across my neck.
“Yep.” I squeaked. He knew the effect he had on me.
“Let’s go.” His voice sounded deeper, huskier.
I had no choice but to follow. We walked through the facility, not holding hands, nor touching. We weren’t a super affectionate couple outside because it wasn’t something that made me very comfortable and he’d picked up on that fact. It had nothing to do with me not feeling prideful that he wanted to be with me. But I was more uncomfortable with myself and lacked confidence that I should be seen with someone like Wrigley in that capacity.
As we walked, he looked over at me, hazel eyes burning. They were lustful and I knew he was turned on. I swallowed, hard.
“We had a bet. You lost.” He simply stated.
I had the right mind to appear bashful. “Yeah, but I didn’t think you’d follow through with it.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
I shrugged, as we stepped out into the night air. It was thick with humidity, and sweat built on the edge of my hairline before we even made it to the car. “I dunno. I guess I just thought you were being silly.”
“Well, I’m always joking around, but a bet is a bet. You only hit half of your balls.”
I mentally laughed at the way that sounded. Geez, I think I’m as bad an adolescent boy sometimes with where my mind wandered to.
“Okay, but if we were to say dumb down your ability to my ability, I’d say we both hit the same amount and therefore we tied. So, nobody won.”
He chuckled. “Except, that’s not how it works, and that’s not what happened.”
We got to his Jeep and he hit the unlock buttons. As we both climbed in, I tensed at the quietness that surrounded us. You could hear a pin drop. He wasn’t starting the engine, he was barely even moving except for the slight up and down pattern of his breathing. If it weren’t for the sensation of his eyes being on me, I would have thought he’d fallen asleep.
I squirmed. “Okay, so what was your end of the deal? I don’t remember.”
“We try something new.”
I was looking out the windshield. “And by new, I’m assuming you aren’t referring to a new way to hit a curveball.”
I could hear the smirk in his voice. “Nope.”
Every ounce of me wanted to know what this new thing was, but I was beginning to shake with nerves. He was making me feel uneasy, but not in a bad way. Just a way I knew he was going to, once again, be my teacher of sorts, and I was going to be expected to feel.
We continued to sit in complete silence and I had no idea if he was waiting for me to make eye contact and nod in compliance, or if he was going to start the Jeep so we could go back to his, or my, place. My question was soon answered when he cleared his throat. Naturally, I turned in his direction. Those brownish green eyes met my blue ones head on. I gulped.
“Wait… right here?” I whispered like someone would be able to hear me.
He nodded. “That’s going to be half the fun of it, Hadley.”
“But we are under a freaking light post. Don’t you think people will see us?”
He glanced up. “Maybe, but no worries, you’ll still be dressed.”
My shoulders visibly relaxed. “Okay, good.”
The side of his mouth tilted up and he shook his head. “Jesus Christ, you thought I would strip you down for everyone to see? No fucking way. I don’t share, and I’m certainly not going to let some creep look at my girl.”
“Your girl?” I tenderly asked. Those two words warmed my heart and instantly made me drop my guard.
“I didn’t stutter. We’ve discussed this. I’m not interested in anyone else, and this has been going on for long enough now that I can say shit like that. So yes, you’re mine.”
Well, okay then. Who was I to argue? Except, I wasn’t an exhibitionist. Actually, was I able to make a statement like that when I hadn’t had any experience in the matter? I wasn’t sure, but I do believe I had some say so. He did tell me my clothes would be on, so that was a plus. Besides, I wasn’t ready to take that step just yet. I wasn’t saving myself for marriage, but I also wasn’t someone who was going to strip down and show my goodies when a pretty boy smiled at me. He had to prove himself worthy. Of course, Wrigley already had, but it still wasn’t a step I was ready for. Thankfully, he was patient.
“Are you going to tell me what this “new things” is? Or what you’re wanting?” I asked curiously.
His head went back and forth. “Nah, I’d rather show you.”
“Is it sex?” I felt the need to ask the obvious despite how embarrassed and childish it made me sound.
He was slightly taken aback by the question but quickly responded. “No, it’s not sex.”
Even though we were in the light, the hazel of his eyes were nearly drowned out by the darkness of his pupils. One quick glance down and I could tell he was turned on, despite our not having touched each other yet. Whatever he had in mind was obviously something that did it for him. Or maybe it was more the fact that he was going to do something with me, something I hadn’t experienced yet.
Wrigley came over the center console and rested his elbow on the edge of it. I was ridged and unsure what he was going to do. We’d made out in his Jeep before, but never like this. Gently, he brushed the hair away from my shoulder and ear, and he began kissing up the side of
my neck. Goosebumps rose over my arms and my right hand gripped the door handle. Why did this feel so different? So intense?
“Unbutton the top of your shorts,” he demanded in my ear.
My eyes sprang open and I jerked away. “I thought you said we weren’t doing that?”
He snickered. “We aren’t, Hadley. But I’m asking you to trust me and unbutton the top of your shorts.”
My heart was at a full gallop and if he listened real close, he’d be able to hear it. I nodded. Reaching for the metal button, I popped it through the small slit, then sat and waited for his next move. I was scared and had every thought imaginable flying through my head. Like, maybe he was going to go down on me. Or maybe he was going to make me do things to myself. I had no clue what sort of things Wrigley was really into. If he wanted me to do things to myself while he watched, he may be barking up the wrong tree. As Anna would tell Christian Grey, that is a hard limit.
Awkwardly, I placed my hands on either side of me, unsure if I should put them on his chest, up on his neck, pull him closer to me, or anything else. My nails began tapping, and I couldn’t stop them even if I tried. I was clicking them to the pounding of my heart. Wrigley’s easy going smile met my eyes and, as if some sort of sedative shot to my nerves, I tried to relax. He knew I was freaking out and he was silently trying to tell my that I had nothing to be scared of. His smile did that for me. It was always like a shining beacon in any crap storm I was building up in my head.
“Do you trust me?” he asked earnestly.
Did I trust him? Did I trust enough to give myself over to him unequivocally and know that his intentions were good? That Wrigley Brooks wasn’t just here for himself, but for me too. That his enjoyment was seeing me have enjoyment. Did I trust that if I exposed myself to him he would look at me and tell me how beautiful I was, and would treat me like I was something to be treasured? Every single question had the same answer.
