Shutout (The Core Four Book 4)

by Stacy Borel

  Without a doubt.

  He’d earned it. “Yes, I trust you.”

  His smile was brilliant. “Good.”

  When he came forward again, he kissed me with such passion I felt it in every fiber of my being. His lips pressed to mine and molded to match me. It was open mouthed and his tongue danced across the softness of my lip. He was rewarding me and my response by making me into a puddle of mush before any of the good stuff really started. My body was warm, and my toes curled. When his hand came up behind my neck, I responded by grasping his forearm and giving it a squeeze.

  He briefly pulled his lips away and said, “This is just going to be about you. I want you to feel. Understand?”

  I didn’t understand but I nodded anyway. What was that supposed to mean? I was willing to give myself over to him though. I trusted him enough to know I would only go so far and I would only do certain things. I trusted that he wouldn’t hurt me.

  My breathing accelerated and my body was at attention. With every kiss, and every touch, it was like he was commanding me. With or without my consent, my body was betraying me and putting itself out there to feel something amazing. One of his hands dropped from my neck and went down to my breast. My nipples were erect and I inadvertently arched my back to give him a better grasp. He was cupping it from over the top of my shirt. I was wearing a thin bra and I felt every ounce of his fingers. Breath escaped my lips as he nipped at my collar bone.

  “How does this feel?” He gave a gentle squeeze, then ran his thumb over my nipple.

  Did he want a one-word response, or a full paragraph because right now my brain was misfiring and I was only capable of sending the sound of a grunt out of my throat?

  His hand left my breast and touched the edge of my shorts. My eyes flew open. This was definitely not something we’d done before.

  “Wrigley, I thought you said we weren’t—”

  He quickly shushed me. “We aren’t. Just sit back and relax. Trust me.”

  My chest rose and fell with increased breathes. The tips of his fingers toyed with the top of my underwear and then he was hovering over me. His watchful eyes were gauging my reactions and how I was responding to him. It was unnerving and intimate. Almost more intimate than the way his hands were slipping lower and lower. His hand was just on top of my sex, which was now wet and I was feeling a need I’d never felt before. At the very first touch of his finger on my clit, I nearly came unglued.

  This was nothing like when I had been alone in my room learning my own body. This wasn’t nothing like experimenting with different ways of touching myself and figuring out what is pleasurable and what isn’t so great. While I was able to make myself climax before, Wrigley seemed to know the right buttons to push, and the perfect spots to caress. Several flicks of his finger had my body quaking and guttural moan coming from my chest.

  “Oh my god!” I gasped and reached out to grab a handful of his shirt. His approving smile let me know things were good on his end. There was no way he was enjoying this as much as I was.

  “That’s right, just feel me.” His watchful eyes would glance up every now and then, I could only assume to make sure there was nobody in the parking lot.

  He dipped his hand down lower, and one of his fingers entered me. Jesus, that was a different sensation. When I had done it, I hadn’t felt much of anything. I just figured I was part of the large percentage of women who didn’t really get pleasure from penetration. But now! Now it was so good and I was positive it was because I was so turned on, wet, and close to orgasm that him inside of me like this, the fullness it made me feel, had me nearing the end.

  My eyes rolled back and closed. He pushed deeper and pressed upwards. Wrigley used his other hand to pull my shorts down lower so he could get to all of me easier. I lifted my hips allowing him to. At this point, if he wanted me to strip down, I would get naked and climb on top of him. Funny how in a heightened state of arousal, I was suddenly willing to do just about anything to get the release. Any sensibility was flying right out of the window and I was ready to sell my soul to ride with the devil.

  I was in such a state of ecstasy that I hadn’t realized just how close to coming I was. He knew, somehow.

  “God, this is more than I ever hoped for. You’re perfect.” His eyes were nearly black and I knew he was hard and ready to be touched.

  I should have. I wanted to. But how did I do that? Did I do it the same way he did it to me? Did I just grasp it like a broom stick and move my hand up and down? My lack of knowledge was sucking at a time like this. I wanted to reciprocate. Wrigley pulled his fingers out and rubbed small circles of the bundle of nerves that felt swollen and needy.

  “Wrigley, I’m going to finish.”

  “Good. Let go, Hadley. I’ll make you ride it out.” His demanding voice was gruff and a tone I’d never heard.

  And just like that, an explosion of sensation overcame me. My body shook with a fierceness that had him pressing down on me to help hold me still. My legs closed tightly. I couldn’t open them if I tried. I wanted him to keep touching me, and I wanted him to stop touching me. It was too much. Colors were forming behind my eyelids and my ears were ringing. This was the orgasm of all orgasms. I started to feel like I was going to urinate everywhere if he didn’t stop touching my clit. I’d never been so over sensitive. Even my skin was hot and sweat had formed on my brow. I grabbed his wrist and pushed at him.

  “Too much. Oh my god, you have to stop.”

  He chuckled and gave my clit a little flick before he pulled his hands out of my shorts. It made me jump and moan. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like that before.” He sounded as breathless as I was.

  I tried to catch my breath. The reality of what we’d done was catching up to me and my mind was telling me that my bottom half was still exposed. My cheeks reddened and embarrassment was settling in.

  “Is that a bad thing or what?” I asked.

  He sat back in his seat and adjusted his very obvious erection. “Let me put it this way. You have always been a very good girl. Studious and smart but how you just were, open and letting me do what I wanted…” He whistled under his breath. “It was incredible.”

  I pulled my seatbelt on, still not sure if I should be taking his words as a compliment. I kind of wanted to get back to my dorm, shower, and lay in my bed where I could over think everything that happened tonight.

  “Let it go, Hadley.”

  “What?” My eyes shot to him.

  “Your nails. You’re clicking them”

  I glanced down and sure enough, I was. “It’s just that that was pretty intense. How am I supposed to be feeling?”

  “Anything you want.” He shrugged. “I’m just telling you that you were beautiful.”

  He thought I was beautiful? That was very sweet and kind of him to say when I was feeling so unsure.

  I nodded. “Well, I liked it,” I said shyly.

  He had started the engine and steered the Jeep out of the parking lot. “I think I need to win more bets like that.”

  I slapped his arm. “Shut up and drive would you?”

  THAT DAY OUR RELATIONSHIP SHIFTED. It morphed into something that made me want to know Wrigley more as a whole. I think, even as we grew, I’d misjudged him. I’d thought he was this cute baseball player, who adored his family, but loved a challenge. Especially when those challenges were girls. I’d assumed he went after them because it’s what he liked. His relationships never lasted long after he’d started dating them, and rumors went around that they’d slept together. I found this wasn’t true at all. Or maybe there was some truth to it, but he hadn’t actually been with someone that was meant to last for the long haul.

  I’d learned that you don’t really know someone as a whole person until you’ve known them on a physical and sensual level. They could be your very best friend, or a person you’ve known your whole life. Yet, behind closed doors, they are someone else. I’d learned that Wrigley was a teacher. I’d learned that he
takes just as much enjoyment from my pleasure as he would if it were him on the receiving end. I’d learned that Wrigley was more than just a pretty face and nice body. I saw him now.

  The day after what happened in that parking lot, I felt as if I woke up with new eyes. Clearer eyes. Eyes that weren’t so naïve. I couldn’t imagine how much more I’d see and feel when I was ready to go even further than we had.

  Another month had passed after that night. It had been full of exploration, although we still hadn’t taken that final step. I wasn’t sure why I didn’t want to pass that point just yet, but I didn’t. There were still too many fears associated with it, and I didn’t want to think on it.

  October came and went quickly. Wrigley and I both were doing good in our studies, and I was still at a stage of accepting that we were together. We’d had outings and fun times. I’d even attended a Halloween party with him. Aurora talked me into dressing up as something a little more sexy than the banana costume I’d originally planned. I said the costume was hilarious and everyone would laugh about it. She had to explain to me that when you pass the age of five, you stop doing cute and funny costumes and you dress to impress. I thought she was ridiculous, but I had quite a few compliments and side looks when I showed up in a hot, little fighter pilot one piece. The shorts were so short they were riding up the front of me. Wrigley dressed according to what I wore and we completed a Top Gun duo. He was Maverick, with the flight glasses and sexy gelled hair, and I was Goose. I ended up loving it because Goose was a goofball anyway, and I enjoyed talking with a southern accent all night like he did.

  November came with cooler weather...at least for the south. Leaves on the trees didn’t really turn colors. Well, they did, but it happened so fast that one day they were orange, the next they were red, then they turned brown, and by the end of the week, the streets and campus was full of fallen leaves on the ground. I wished it didn’t happen so fast. Fall was my favorite time of the year, and I didn’t get to fully enjoy it like I normally did. Wrigley still indulged me in taking me to a pumpkin patch so I could pick a pumpkin and carve it, and we’d attended three LSU football games.

  “Are you going home for Thanksgiving?” I asked Wrigley, as we’d just walked out of political science.

  “I’m not sure. I know my mom wants me there, but it would just be driving back for a weekend and that’s sort of a long trip. I wouldn’t mind so much if I were flying like you are.”

  I was heading home for three short days. I could practically see my mom’s enthusiasm when she’d said she’d bought my tickets to come home. Her and Dad missed me and I knew they needed this. I was excited to see them, but nervous as well. I wondered if they would see the differences in me. If they would know I’d become more of a woman. Plus, I knew home wasn’t going to be the same anymore.

  “Well, if you do, let me know and I can stop by and visit.”

  He smiled. “You should go see my mom and dad. They really do like you, and you know how my mom loves having company.”

  Yes, she sure did. “I’ll see what my family has planned.”

  We walked through campus, which was quieting down for the semester. Students were leaving early for the holiday, even though they were skipping their last classes. I tugged on the sleeves on my long sleeved top to cover my hands. I was freezing. It got chilly in Athens, but I’d grown adept to the warmer climate here. Any temperature that hovered around fifty degrees or lower, you’d catch me shaking like a leaf and bundling up to preserve heat. Wrigley always found it amusing.

  He nudged me before we got to my dorm. “You going to survive without me.”

  I smirked. “I think I’ll live.”

  “I mean you won’t have all of this,” he ran his hands down his body, “to keep you warm.”

  I slapped his arm. “Stop. You’re so full of yourself.”

  “Nah, just don’t want you to forget about me.”

  “In three days?”

  “Hey, three days can be a long time for some people.”

  “True, but we’ll manage.”

  I laughed at his childish antics. I was used to Wrigley always being a joker. But I could tell by the slight frown in the corner of his eyes that he was bummed he wasn’t coming with me. He was missing his family. I didn’t think all of this had to do with me not being around. It was the holidays, and he was going to be here alone. All of the guys he hung around with were going to be heading off to be home, and as much as he claimed it was just another day, it wasn’t really. His family thrived off of tradition as much as the next family. I was even tempted to skip going home all together, just so I could stay back and cook him some sort of resemblance of a turkey day meal, but I couldn’t let my parents down.

  We stopped just in front of the door, and I turned to face him. Wrigley placed his hands on my hips and pulled me toward him. Wrapping his arms completely around me, I buried my face in his chest and breathed in deep. The scent of outdoors mixed with his detergent and him was intoxicating. I would have loved to bottle up the smell just to bring it with me, but I’d wait till I saw him again next week.

  “Hey,” he said.

  I tipped my head up to look at his pretty yellowish eyes. “Hmmm?”

  “Have fun, okay?”

  I nodded. “Okay.”

  He bent down and kissed me softly on the lips. The parts of my body that were cold, instantly warmed as I melted into his tenderness. When he pulled away, he chuckled at me leaning in to keep the kiss going.

  “Don’t get me started, or we may never stop and you’ll miss your plane tomorrow.”

  Giggling, I said, “Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say.”

  As I turned to go inside he gave me a swift slap on the butt and I squeaked. Cheap shot. But I adored his playfulness. When I got inside, I sat down on my bed and kicked off my shoes. I still had to pack, and I needed to read a chapter in my art book, so I wasn’t rushing to do it at the last minute when I got back home. Sighing, I didn’t feel like doing any of it. I just wanted to nap. Tomorrow’s flight was going to be over two hours, I could do my reading then, and it wouldn’t take me more than thirty minutes to toss clothes into a bag. I wouldn’t be able to pack anything else until tomorrow, like my toiletries, anyway. Laying down, it didn’t take long for the warmth of my blanket, and the comfort and feeling of happiness to drag me under.

  There is a saying that once you leave a place, it’s never the same when you go back. That was exactly how it felt when my mom drove into Athens on our way to the house. The town was the exact same. The buildings were the same, the fountain in city center, and the decorations they put up every year were the same. I don’t know why I’d expected to see anything different, but I had.

  When we pulled up to our driveway, and went inside, I looked around. That nostalgic smell of cinnamon and apples baking hit me right in the heart. It has been five months since I’ve been in here and I’d forgotten that my mom always burned the same scented candles.

  “Want me to take your coat?” Mom asked as she stepped around me and put her purse on the entry table.

  I looked at her and blinked. “No, I’m okay.”

  She smiled warmly. “I know, I’m treating you like a guest.” She watched me intently, as if she were waiting for me to break out in tears over something so she could play the mom roll once again. Instead, she embraced me in a tight hug, kissed my cheek and said, “Your dad will be home in an hour. He had to run in to get some work done. I’m going to check the turkey. Your aunt and uncle will be here shortly if you want to take your bag up to your room. Ridiculous that that darn company had your father work on a holiday.” She started walking into the kitchen still talking to herself. “You’d think they didn’t have families themselves or something.”

  There’s the mom I knew and loved. I got the talking to myself bit from her. We both did it all the time. I felt bad for my father because he was constantly saying ‘what?’ as if we’d asked him a question. I loved them both dearly for it.

 
As soon as I got to my room, I dropped my bag at the door and looked around. It was like an immortalized space my parents never touched; left the exact way I’d left it. In fact, the bed side table drawer was still cracked open from when I snagged my chap stick before we left for college. At least, Mom had dusted a little. My track awards were still hanging on the wall. My poster of Miley Cyrus on a wrecking ball hitting a bunch of Minions was above my bed, reminding me of the small things I found comical. The curtains were drawn, casting light into the room. And while it may have been a great feeling sitting on a bed that I loved, in a room I’d lived in most of my life, I kind of felt sad. Sad that as I looked around and everything was the same, I wasn’t. I wasn’t the same at all.

  I got up and walked around, reminiscing about little things. Like my full length mirror I’d stood in front of and practiced speeches. They were often talks I’d made up that I’d never have. Most were toward Wrigley. Others were for the girls that I hated. I touched the cool glass before moving to my dresser where my nail polish still sat. I’d stew over which colors I’d paint on and what outfit would match it in hopes that Wrigley would notice and compliment me on my excellent taste. Then there was my small little private collection of balls I kept hidden in the back of my closet in a box. I opened the door and dug in the very back just to check. Yep, still there. Anybody that would find them would think I just had a box of baseballs. I knew better. They were balls Wrigley had practiced with and left behind. I’d gone and picked them up over the years. There weren’t many, about nine but I loved every single one. It was a very girly and silly thing to do, but it was my thing. My crush thing.

  Looking at them and their worn out leather, it didn’t even give me the same feeling. Why is that? Why did I feel so different? And why did I feel like a stranger in my own home? This was still very much my home and I knew if I ever needed to, I could always come back and live. But I was starting to wonder if college was already forcing me to grow up more than I’d realized. Or maybe it was the relationship I had with the boy down the street. He was changing me. I’ve learned that my crush was crazy, and I’d spent years pining over a guy who probably wouldn’t have noticed me in that fashion until he saw me later in life anyway. This was all happening when it was supposed to. That’s not fate, that’s real.