Colin: A Serial Killer Romance

by Stella Noir

  I made my way to the French doors, and then out onto the balcony just in time to see that dude pull Avery’s legs down so that she was laying on the bed and then he got on top of her. It took all the strength I had not bust in right then and pull him off of her, but I didn’t. I waited, and what I saw was worth more than a thousand punches I could have given that hipster jerk-off.

  Avery opened her eyes while he was kissing her neck and groping her like a fucking animal and suddenly she looked over his shoulder and saw me watching from the balcony. Then she pushed him off. I know she saw me; she looked right at me. I couldn’t believe it. They started talking but it didn’t sound like she was telling him that she saw someone on the balcony, in fact, it sounded like he was going to leave. I figured I should probably get out of there, so I went back through the door into the apartment next door and slipped out into the hall and when I got close to the bottom of the stairs I heard her door open.

  She’s making him leave? Holy shit!

  I wasn’t sure what it all meant, but I knew one thing. I was going to be waiting for that little asshole downstairs when he came out.

  I WAITED behind some shrubs next to my house and watched the little schmuck come out the front door of Avery’s building. He took a left when he got to the sidewalk, so I knew he’d be walking down a couple of deserted streets before he got anywhere that was more populated. I would have plenty of time to do what I needed to do.

  I followed him for about a block and of course he didn’t look behind him once, because — he’s a dude and what does he have to worry about — and this totally worked in my favor. Everyone out walking around at that time of night in that particular neighborhood was most likely drunk college kids so I was betting that they would either not notice what I was doing, or they would think I was just taking my drunk friend home.

  I was almost embarrassed at how easy it was to pluck him off the street. I just waited until I got about five feet behind him and acted like I knew him from class, then pulled him into some bushes and gave him the old rag over the mouth treatment. I didn’t want him completely out, just drugged enough so that he wouldn’t try and fight me as I dragged him back to my house.

  I’d been doing this long enough to know how to get the results I wanted with the girls I knocked out, even though most of the time I couldn’t have cared less if they were out cold or dead. Like I said, it wasn’t the killing that got me off. But this guy … I was actually saving him for someone else, so I didn’t want to go too far.

  I partly carried and partly dragged his limp body down the sidewalk for about a block, then carried him through a few backyards just in case anyone was watching, then once I got through my gate and inside my house I grabbed my cell phone and made a call.

  “Hey, it’s me. I have a surprise for you.”

  “Wow, you sound out of breath, dude. Have you been chasing someone? Who is it? If I know you at all I’m pretty sure it’s gotta be a dude, ‘cause you tend to keep all the ladies for yourself,” the voice on the other end of the phone said with a chuckle.

  “Ha ha. Yeah, it’s a dude, alright. He’s out cold and I would be more than happy to bring him right to your doorstep. I’m at home, so it’ll take me about an hour.”

  “Sounds good. I’ll be waiting for you.”

  I threw the kid over my shoulder and headed down to the basement past the girl who was now crying in the cage.

  Ugh. I still have to take care of her, I thought as I headed out into the tunnel. I’ll do it in the morning.

  I had a long walk ahead of me but it would be more than worth it to get rid of this guy.

  I walked for a half hour to a point where the original tunnels came to a complete stop. If you didn’t know it was there you would completely miss the door that was hidden behind a huge wooden post that served as one of the main support arches. The door had a faded star on it that I had painted on it years ago when I was a kid, back when I thought it was cool to make cryptic marks on the doors to see if anyone down there was paying attention. Now it was completely faded and almost impossible to see in the dark, but it made me smile every time when I thought about how awesome it was to find it back then.

  I had somehow stumbled upon this door on my own and eventually came to know the person who lived at the end of the tunnel behind it. Landen always left it unlocked. It was easier for both of us to get back-and-forth that way and he had a pretty sophisticated surveillance system set up all along the tunnel and right outside his house. If anyone ever dared enter his secret tunnel he knew about it within seconds and that person was never heard from again.

  The tunnel on the other side of the door had been built at least fifty years after the original series of tunnels, and no one knew who’d had it commissioned, at least no one that I knew. A lot of people were interested in these old tunnels and had kept tabs on them throughout the several decades I had been running around in them, but there was still a lot of mystery surrounding them.

  No other tunnels came off the main series of tunnels like this one did or traveled in this direction, and the only door along the entire length of this newer tunnel was the one that opened up into Landen’s basement. He didn’t even realize the tunnel was there for a long time after he had purchased the house, but it’s been well used since he found it.

  I started up the slightly sloping ground on the other side of the door that led up to my friend’s house. The place was incredible. Ever since he bought it, back when I was still a kid, he’d been looking into the history but he hadn’t really found much. It seemed pretty obvious that the person who had owned it before him had quite a few secrets of their own because, in the four stories of the house, he found that quite a few of the rooms had trapdoors or secret doors that lead to passages in between the walls.

  The basement had always been one of his favorite parts of the house, though. It had at least eight rooms, four of which have underground pits dug into the floor that were obviously designed as holding cells. It’s like some sort of serial killer fantasy camp, and it’s all his.

  I haven’t made it to his level of expertise but, then again, I’ve been pretty happy with the system I’d perfected. I’ve never been interested in keeping anyone long-term or holding more than one girl at a time, so a place like his would be overkill for me.

  I was sweating my ass off and I was almost completely out of breath by the time I got to Landen’s door, and there he was, right on the ball. The door opened right in front of me as I walked up.

  “Hey Colin, how’s it going?” he asked as he stepped back and waved me through.

  “Not bad. Where do you want this guy? I’m getting tired of carrying him.”

  “Just throw him in that uncovered pit over there. I’ll probably start in on him tomorrow. I actually haven’t had anyone to work on in over a week, so this is perfect. I was starting to get a little antsy. So what’s his story?”

  I walked over to the hole in the floor and lowered his body the sixteen or so feet down, being careful not to drop him on his head. I didn’t want to kill the guy before Landen got a chance to do his thing.

  “He’s just some guy. No one special.”

  “Oh, come on, Colin. We both know you never go after guys. If you went out of your way to nab this one there’s got to be a reason.” He said as he put the floorboards back in place and completely concealed the pit. Every floor of Landen’s house had some sort of lounge type room, and even though this basement level was occupied mostly with above and below ground prison cells and operating rooms, this floor was no exception. We walked into a dimly lit room with a fire burning in the fireplace and a variety of comfortable overstuffed chairs and couches. I flopped down on one of the chairs and put my feet up on a matching footstool and Landen walked over to a bar at the back of the room.

  “Do you want a drink?

  “Sure, I’ll have whatever you’re having.”

  “So, come on. What’s the deal with this guy? You know I’m totally happy to have a new toy t
o play with, but you can’t leave me hanging like this. Where did he come from?”

  He handed me a drink and sat down on the couch nearest me, resting one foot on the opposite knee. He downed the brown liquid in his glass in one swallow and set it on the table between us.

  “Well, there’s this girl that moved in next door to me ….”

  “I knew it! I knew this had to do with some chick! So, what are you in love with her or something?”

  “Can I just tell my story?” I asked, throwing him a little bit of a glare.

  “Yeah, yeah, sorry. Go ahead. Tell me everything, and I mean everything.”

  “I just … well there’s not much to tell, really. She moved in next door and … I don’t know. The first time I saw her … the window to her room is right across from my bedroom window, and I saw her the day she moved in. Then that night I ran into her on the street. She was walking a dog but she said it wasn’t hers. I’ve seen it around; I think it belongs to someone in her building ….”

  Landen made a circular motion with his hand like I was taking too long to get to the good stuff so I held up my hands in exasperation.

  “Hey! You said everything!”

  “Sorry, man. Go ahead. I’m listening,” he said as he folded his hands in his lap and slapped a serene expression on his face.

  “Well, it was actually like something from a movie. The dog wrapped its leash around both of us, so we were kind of smashed together for a while until she got the dog untangled …”

  “Like in One Hundred and One Dalmatians!”

  “Exactly! It was really funny. But as I was looking down at her and listening to her talk nervously, I don’t know what happened … I just … it’s like my brain exploded. I couldn’t even really respond to anything she was saying, especially while her body was pressed up against mine …”

  “Oooh, sexy …”

  “But it wasn’t just that. She was really nice, and incredibly cute, and she has the most beautiful eyes and lips I’ve ever seen in my life. In fact, everything about her is perfect. I just stood there and stared at her and then I kinda freaked and basically just ran away like an idiot. But ever since then I’ve been watching her through the window ….”

  “Don’t you think that might freak her out a little?”

  “Well, I’m trying to be really discreet so she doesn’t notice and, you know, think I’m the biggest creep on the planet. I keep my lights off.”

  “Good plan,” he said in a mocking tone with that damned sincere look on his face.

  “Do you want to hear the story or not?”

  “Yes! Go on,” he said as he gestured for me to continue.

  “So, tonight I look out at her window and I see that dude. He was in her room with her and he was kissing her and I just kind of flipped. I broke into the apartment next to hers, went out on the balcony, and watched them through the window in the door. He was all over her and I almost busted in and broke his neck right then.”

  “Ever seen him before?”

  “No, tonight was the first time. When I met her she said that she had just moved here so I’m guessing she met him in class or something.”

  “Mmmm … college student.”

  I paused for a moment to take a sip of my drink and to play the moment again in my head where Avery looked up and saw me watching her, then pushed the guy right off of her. I still couldn’t believe she had done that.

  “Ok, then what! I want more details, Colin. I feel like you’re holding out on me.”

  I looked at him for a moment before continuing. I knew that it was possible that sometimes a few of the thoughts I had were a little off, but if there was anyone in the world that I could trust it was Landen. And not just trust with keeping things to himself. I mean trust that he would try to understand and help me work through anything, no matter how fucked up it sounded, because he had a way of seeing through to the real issue.

  “Well, I know I’m going to sound like a lunatic, but I feel like this has all been … I mean, there have been a lot of coincidences,” I said with another long pause, then I took a deep breath and told him the thought that had been running through my head for days. “Ok, there is a part of me that doesn’t feel like it’s an accident that she moved in next store to me … and that we ran into each other … and a few other things that seem to keep happening. And I know this is going to sound even more crazy … but I think she feels the same way too.”

  “How do you know?”

  “I swear to God, man, when I was looking in from the balcony and Romeo out there was all over her, I swear she saw me watching them and then she pushed him off of her. I didn’t imagine it … or at least I don’t think I did,” I said as I took another drink.

  “And another weird thing. The last two girls that have come into the salon have looked almost exactly like Avery.”

  “Avery? That’s the goddess’s name, Avery?”

  “Yes, Avery,” I said as I rolled my eyes at Landen. He could really be a smart ass.

  “Did you nab both of them?”

  “Yeah. One of them is still down in my basement. I have the day off tomorrow so I’ll take care of her then. I thought I was gonna be all into it cause they looked so much like Avery but I feel like I really lost my steam with all that.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t know, man, I’m really starting to think I need to stop all this,” I said just before I took another sip of my drink. It was the first time I had said it out loud I didn’t want to look at his face when those words came out of my mouth.

  “Stop all what? You mean stop bringing girls home from the salon? Stop doing the mannequin heads? But they’re so cool! How can you even think about stopping? It’s who you are, man. Those wig heads are some of the coolest things I’ve ever seen anybody do. They’re total works of art!”

  “Really? You’re being serious?” I asked as I looked at Landen to make sure he wasn’t joking. I’d never thought about what I do as cool. It’s just what I do.

  “Yes, of course! I’d be really bummed if you stopped, unless it was something you really felt like you needed to do. You know I’m behind you no matter what you decide to do. Just don’t do it for some chick.”

  “Well, that’s the thing. I have thought about stopping before, and ever since Avery showed up I’ve been simultaneously wanting to stop, and unable to control myself more than ever before. It’s been really frustrating. I mean, don’t you ever want a normal relationship, Landen? One that doesn’t involve dead bodies?”

  “Well, I don’t see the two as mutually exclusive. I like to believe that it’s possible to have a relationship and have the dead bodies too.”

  “What kind of fantasy world are you living in? You haven’t even been in a relationship in years!”

  “Yeah, but I really think it’s because I haven’t found the right chick yet. I’m very discerning.”

  “Well, I guess I am too since I haven’t been in a single long term relationship with a girl. But now I feel like I’ve found the perfect one and I don’t want to fuck it up. I want everything to be absolutely perfect when we meet.”

  “I thought you already met.”

  “I mean when we meet the next time. When we kiss for the first time,” I say as I take another drink. I was a little embarrassed to be talking about my fantasies, especially since I didn’t have the vaguest idea how any of it was going to happen at all.

  “Ok, well don’t get ahead of yourself. And don’t forget, perfect is in the eye of the beholder. Don’t try to be something you think she thinks you should be just cause you think she thinks it.”

  I looked at him with a furrowed brow and laughed.

  “You know what I mean. Trying to guess what someone is thinking has never worked out for anyone. If you want things in your life to be perfect for you then you make them that way. For you, not for anyone else.”

  “Thanks, man. I’ll keep that in mind. You know, I keep thinking about the girl in my basement, one
of the ones that looks like Avery. The thing is, I would absolutely never do anything like that to her. It’s not what I want with her, so I don’t really know why I thought bringing that other girl back to my place would be so great. Now I just want Avery there with me, and I want it to be all normal with no one in a cage in my basement. You know what I mean?”

  “I understand what you’re saying, but I still don’t see why you need to give everything up. You could always bring your whole operation over here, you know. I’d love to see you in action. Speaking of which, you got any special requests for that guy? Lots of pain? Little pain?”

  “Nah, do whatever you want, he’s all yours. I guess I should probably head back to my place. It’s a long walk.”

  “Hey, you wanna crash here? I have lots of room. Forty rooms to be exact.”

  “You wouldn’t happen to be counting those pits you’ve got in the floor out there, now would you?” I asked with a smirk.

  “Nothing but the best for my buddy, Colin,” Landen said as he slapped my shoulder. “Come on, we could watch a movie, make some popcorn, eat a bunch of candy, go to bed with stomach aches,” He said as he nudged the bottom of my foot. “I’ve got a whole bunch of candy upstairs. Peeeeanut buuuutter cuuuuups,” he said all long and drawn out as a means to tempt me.

  “Sure, ok, that sounds good. Waddayou got for us to watch?”

  “How about American Psycho?”

  “Hardy har har. Got anything from this decade, Captain Retro?” I said as I got up and walked with Landen towards the elevator.

  “Hey, don’t knock the classics.”

  10

  AVERY

  Over a week had gone by and I hadn’t heard from Trevor or seen him in class. I didn’t know what was wrong, but I was pretty sure we were never going to hang out again after what happened the last time I saw him. I really thought he was cool and that he liked me, but of course I was wrong again.

  I had still been thinking about the guy next door a lot though. I mean, Trevor was cool, and being rejected by anyone is a bummer, so I was a little sad about that, but I still couldn’t stop picturing my neighbor’s face in the window when he was watching us outside my balcony door.