Who Killed the Neanderthal

by Cheryl Zelenka

  “Yes, I certainly can. I knew Scott blamed Larry for Laurie’s miscarriage. When he called and asked to borrow my cooler, we talked a bit. But tell me, Sadie. Am I a suspect?”

  “I’m afraid so.”

  “Because I lent Scott my ice chest?”

  “Sounds silly, I know. But Larry’s body was found inside the cooler and it does belong to you. I’m sure you’ll be cleared quickly. I just need to ask you a few questions. Detective Flores will be in touch if she has any further questions.”

  Reaching inside a wicker end table, Burt pulled a pack of Lucky Strikes from the drawer and asked, “Do you mind?”

  Sadie hated cigarette smoke but she didn’t want to kill the mood. The conversation was flowing and Burt was cooperating. “No, it’s okay. Just don’t blow the smoke in my direction.”

  “Gotcha.” Burt took a lighter from the same drawer and lit up.

  After a few puffs, Sadie went on.

  “Scott told us you were going to fill the cooler with ice before dropping it off at Riverside Park.”

  “That’s correct. However, I had an unplanned appointment that needed my attention, so I never filled it with ice. I meant to let Scott know, but I forgot.”

  “You dropped off an empty cooler? When?”

  “Yes, on Wednesday night around 8. I left it in Scott’s assigned location.”

  “Weren’t you worried someone would steal it?”

  Blowing out a long steady stream of smoke he tilted his head. “Sadie, we live in Rogue Valley! I leave my front door unlocked most of the time. No, the thought never even occurred to me.”

  “I understand. Half the time I leave my house unlocked as well. Strange how Rogue Valley resembles Mayberry but has suffered two murders in less than a year. Andy Griffith solved crimes, but they were more along the lines of dime store thievery and getting the local drunk off the streets until he sobered up.”

  They both chuckled and took a sip of lemonade. After a short pause, Sadie asked, “What else did Scott say when he called?”

  “Hmm, he asked if I was racing my hydroplane in the Memorial Day celebration, which I am by the way. It isn’t a very large purse but winning the race would certainly help with next month’s mortgage.” Larry slapped his arm, killing the bloodthirsty ’skeeter. “I need to get some citronella candles.”

  “Try using a few drops of peppermint oil in a spray bottle filled with water. It smells great and keeps those dive bombers away.”

  “Thanks, I will.” Burt’s cigarette was all but ash in his fingers but he continued to puff away. “Anyway, in no time at all, Scott was venting. He said he wanted revenge. He reckoned Bite Me! wasLarry’s baby, so he was going to kill his baby.” Taking note of the condition of his cigarette, he took one last drag from the Lucky Strike and stubbed it out on a silver ashtray sitting on the end table.

  “Chef La Compost called the other day and said a crazy man made a fuss in the restaurant lobby, calling Larry a baby killer. I immediately knew who that crazy man was. Chef said Larry had to forcefully remove Scott from the restaurant lobby.”

  “And why did Chef La Compost callyouabout this matter? Are you friends?”

  “No, not exactly. We were, but now our relationship is simply professional. He’s paying for some mechanical repairs on my hydroplane in return for a percentage of my prize money. Anyway, I recruited Francis when Larry and I were brainstorming the birth of Bite Me! I was his silent partner and quite instrumental in convincing the Chef to quit his LA job at Patina. One of my racing buddies knew Francis and introduced us. Chef La Compost was tired of the whole Hollywood-LA scene and I persuaded him to trade it in for small town living. You see, Larry and I both belong to the Cavemen Booster Club. We wanted to bring more business into Rogue Valley.” Burt placed his hands on the arms of his rocker and rocked back and forth.

  “Tourists always flock to Ashland for the Shakespearian Theatre and other productions. They have marvelous B&B’s and restaurants, but Ashland’s overpriced. We wanted to provide a more cost efficient option. We would provide outstanding French food, within a short distance of Ashland, and amazing river views. We struck up an agreement with Riverside Inn to promote each other. It made sense. We had a smart alternative for folks who wanted to indulge in a gourmet meal and also stay at a luxurious riverside hotel, but with a much friendlier price tag.”

  “Ashland does have a monopoly on tourism. Rogue Valley gets the leftovers. That’s why our Memorial Day Boatnik Celebration is so important to our local economy.” Sadie took a last sip of lemonade and placed the goblet on the coffee table. She was curious as to why Chef La Compost and Burt were no longer friends.

  “So, how come everyone refers to Bite Me! as Larry’s restaurant, and not yours and Larry’s restaurant? Why were you the silent partner?”

  “Well, to start, my construction venture with Scott sent me into bankruptcy. I had my racing gigs, but I needed another investment to get back in the game. Back then, I was in my glory days of racing and managed to win several impressive purses. Larry told me he wanted to open a restaurant but needed a partner to make it happen. I offered my savings to get in on the deal. He accepted, but only if I agreed to remain a silent partner, 50-50. My business failure with the Pike Lake housing development wouldn’t have helped our new business get off the ground. A good reputation is everything in a small town.”

  Sadie nodded in agreement.

  “Anyway, before we opened the restaurant Larry gave back my money. He said Francis wouldn’t move to Rogue Valley unless he was the silent partner.”

  “So basically, Larry threw you under the bus.”

  “I guess, but he was a Caveman brother and I figured it was all for the best.

  I didn’t want to partner with someone who didn’t value loyalty. I figured another opportunity would turn up eventually, so I took my money and invested it in stocks. They’ve done well, but I’m still looking for another business venture.”

  “So Chef La Compost called you to discuss the hydroplane races over Memorial Day and just happened to mention Scott’s outburst?”

  “Exactly. But I also think it was a passive-aggressive attempt to rub my face in things. He knew Scott and I were past business partners. And since, my old business partner was causing problems for Bite Me!, he wanted me to feel bad.”

  There was a momentary pause but Burt decided to add another detail.

  “The Chef’s wife is Mary Hunt’s sister. Mary and I are still good friends. We get together with the Composts and play Trivial Pursuit once in a while. I only go because Mary hates Francis and likes beating him at the game. I guess I’m the perfect game partner since I know a lot of trivia, like those facts I shared about Otterhounds. Besides, I like sticking it to Francis too, if you know what I mean.”

  Sadie grinned at her host. He really was personable. Too bad he was a smoker.

  After gazing out over the river, she turned and faced him. “Well, I should take my leave. I think I’ll have a quick chat with Mary Hunt. Do you have any idea why she dislikes her brother-in-law so much?”

  “Hmm, she’s a bit overprotective of her baby sister, Sarah. I don’t think Chef La Compost has ever measured up to her expectations. She doesn’t like his quick temper. He can also be very condescending. I’ve witnessed him belittle Sarah several times on our Trivial Pursuit nights.”

  So now I need to interview Sarah La Compost, Francis La Compost, and Mary Hunt. The suspect list is growing by the minute.

  Taking one last look at the beautiful landscape, she spotted a bald eagle flying over the river. It landed in a tree on Burt’s property.

  “I have a pair that return every year. They keep adding twigs to their nest. It’s huge!” Sadie loved the wildlife in Rogue River. Now that she was retired, she frequently hiked obscure trails with her dogs, identifying plants and sketching them in her nature journal.

  “You’re a lucky fellow. How fun to watch the same pair of eagles return year after year.” Sadie gave Maxie one l
ast pat and shook Burt’s hand, thanking him for the lemonade. Stepping off the deck, she turned to ask one last question. “By the way, do you wear a medical alert charm?”

  “Yes, why do you ask?”

  “Oh, it’s not important. Are you wearing it now?”

  “No, the charm fell off and I’m still looking for it. I’ve got a heart defect. I guess I better find it or buy a new one pretty soon.”

  Sadie again waved goodbye and walked into the lovely backyard and followed the flagstone path to the circular driveway in front.

  CHAPTER TEN: A Gut Feeling

  Sadie simply had to drive west on Upper River Road until it dead-ended. The directions Burt gave her to Mary Hunt’s house couldn’t have been easier. A beat up mailbox marked her dirt driveway, a probable victim of too many Boxball games.

  Her Kia Sorento worked its way up the pitted road for nearly three quarters of a mile. When she reached a gate, she killed the engine and hopped out of the car, again with pepper spray tucked in her back pocket. She was deep in the woods and thought it better to be safe than sorry.

  An antique cowbell was attached to a gatepost, so Sadie rang it a few times. Loud barks in the distance caught her attention. Mary doesn’t need a doorbell when she’s got a pack of dogs. Fully expecting to see a dozen canines with golden coats racing down the driveway, she was startled when a dozen pit bulls sprinted down instead. Sadie loved all dogs, but this pack was not friendly. Nobody in their right mind would jump the gate if they were on the other side.

  A woman in her late 40’s exited an outbuilding, most likely a kennel. She jogged down the driveway toward Sadie, her shoulder blonde hair wafting in the wind. Sadie smiled at her attire: black rubber boots, jeans, and a T-shirt that read Dogs Rule, because people stink. She was incredibly muscular, far beyond a normal buff physique.

  Mary waved at Sadie and called off her pack. Instantly, they retreated back to the house, except for one dog that stood guard between Mary and the gate.

  “Hi there. Are you Ms. Sunshine?”

  “Yes, but please, call me Sadie.”

  “Burt called and said you were coming over.”

  “I hope I’m not inconveniencing you. I just wanted to ask a few questions. I’ll be out of your hair in no time.”

  Mary shrugged then trotted over to unlock the gate. Her biceps bulged as she pulled the gate inward. Sadie passed through, leaving her car parked on the other side.

  “Burt told me you loved Maxine. She’s a very special Otterhound. We’re hoping to breed her next month.”

  “I’d love to see your other dogs, if you have an extra minute to spare. Burt told me how rare they are and I just love their gold coat. In fact, I saw an Otterhound last night at Riverside Park. Burt said he was home with Maxie, so, was it you I saw?

  “Nope. I stay clear of the crowds over Memorial Day weekend. Boatnik brings in such a multitude of people! It’s impossible to park on Sixth Street when the carnival’s in town. I don’t have kids marching in the parade, so I have no reason to leave my property over the Memorial Day weekend, unless it’s to march one of my dogs in the parade. Free advertising, don’t cha’ know.”

  Sadie was getting frustrated. Again, an inner dialogue commenced. Who on earth did I see last night? I know it was an Otterhound that caught my attention. The lady walking the dog had blonde hair. It looked a lot like Mary’s but now that I think about it, she didn’t look like an Olympian.

  Mary led Sadie to the outbuilding. Taking in the grounds, she noticed a red Jaguar parked further up by an old farmhouse. There was a Dodge pickup parked beside it. When they were but three yards from the structure, a slender woman in a lime green sundress exited. Sadie noticed her black eye before she could slip on a pair of sunglasses. And even though her red lipstick was expertly applied, she also detected a split lip.

  “I’ve gotta go, sis. Thanks for the talk. Let’s chat more tonight.”

  The woman walked past Sadie without waiting for an introduction and headed for the house where the red Jaguar was parked. Sadie also noted her hair. It was exactly like that of the woman from the previous night.

  “That was your sister, Sarah?”

  “Yeah. Sorry I didn’t introduce you. She had a really bad morning and isn’t much good at small talk.”

  Opening the door to the kennel, Mary led Sadie inside. Barking reverberated through the enclosure. There were six large kennels inside but only three were occupied. One kennel housed a litter of pups and their mother.

  “This is Molly. Six weeks ago she gave birth to a litter of three pups. Pointing to the kennel next to Molly, “And here’s the daddy, Mr. Bartholomew Merrick. I call him Barrow. He weighs a whopping 125 pounds.” Pointing to the kennel across from them she added, “And this pretty teenager is Ellie May. She’s a real singer. Otterhounds make the most wonderful sounds. As you can tell, they’re very vocal.”

  Sadie got to play with the pups for a bit then Mary took Sadie up to the house for a cup of coffee. The wind had picked up and there was a chill in the air.

  “So Burt told me you were friends with Scott and Laurie Moore.”

  “Well, not exactly. My dad is. They’re neighbors.”

  Mary put a mug in front of Sadie and placed the cream and sugar on the farm table. Sitting down, she smiled, but to Sadie it felt somewhat sinister. She decided to trust her gut and took the pepper spray out of her pocket.

  “I must say, you are very fit, Ms. Hunt. Are you in to body building?

  “Actually, yes. Before breeding Otterhounds, I was a professional body builder. In fact, I was the 2008 NPC National Women’s Bodybuilding Light-Heavyweight Champion. Try saying that three times! It’s a mouth full.”

  Sadie smiled but still sensed danger. She wasn’t sure why goose pimples were breaking out all over her arms, but she wasn’t going to ignore them. I’m going to make this interview as quick as possible.

  “Mary, I’d love to hear all about your body building career, but I can’t believe the time. It’s running away from me. I’ve got to meet up with a friend in less than two hours and there’s still one more stop I have to make.”

  “Well, I certainly don’t want to be the cause of any tardiness. Tell me, how can I help you? You’re investigating Larry Phibb’s death, correct?”

  “Yes. My friend and I were the unlucky ones who discovered his body last night, in Mark’s cooler. He said you two dated a few years back but are now just really good friends. He also mentioned your games of Trivial Pursuit at Sarah’s house.”

  “Delightful times they are. I so enjoy beating Francis at that game! He’s an arrogant man; most chefs are, so beating the pants off him is very satisfying. Mark’s the perfect partner. He knows all kinds of interesting tidbits. Incredible facts just pour out of him naturally. It’s one reason I was so drawn to him.” Mary stood and poured herself another cup of coffee and topped off Sadie’s as well.

  “Burt remarked you weren’t fond of Chef La Compost. Can you elaborate?”

  “Well, did you notice my sister’s black eye before she slipped on her Ray-Bans?” Sadie nodded. “Guess who gave her that black eye.”

  “And split lip?”

  “Yep, and it’s not the first time Francis has hit my sister. He takes all his frustrations out on her, and their dog. If he’s not giving her a beating, he’s abusing her emotionally. Her self-confidence has completely disappeared. I can’t respect a man who beats a woman down, especially if she’s my sister. I’ve tried to get her to leave him, but she won’t. She loves him.”

  “Did Larry Phibbs know about the turmoil in their marriage?”

  “I wouldn’t doubt it. They were friends, not just business partners.”

  Sadie was on pins and needles. Francis La Compost had a secret. It might be a secret Larry was privy to, and blackmail is always a rock solid motive for murder.

  “Does your sister own an Otterhound?”

  “Of course. I gave her a pup when I had my first litter. She named him, Bubba.
She can’t have children of her own, so Bubba’s her fur-kid.”

  Sadie smiled and confided she had two fur-kids of her own. Then, continuing with the interview she asked, “Do you know if your sister was at Riverside Park last night? I saw a lady walking an Otterhound. There can’t be too many folks walking around Rogue Valley with such a rare and expensive canine.”

  Mary seemed to be caught off guard. Squirming in her seat she looked like a trapped mouse. Suddenly, her expression changed. Confidence returned but the look in her eye was cautious. “I think she was there last night. She takes Bubba everywhere, so you may have seen him. He’s golden with no black or tan markings. Sarah wanted to watch the firework display and Bubba doesn’t freak out when they go off. He’s a very mellow dog.” Checking her watch, Sadie realized she’d have to end the conversation if she still wanted to interview Chef La Compost before meeting Dora at 7 p.m.

  “Thank you for your time, Mary. I won’t keep you any longer.”

  “You’re welcome, Sadie. I always like to show off my Otterhounds, especially to real dog lovers. I often take them down to the Grower’s Market on Saturday. It’s a wonderful place to socialize dogs, and introduce folks to the breed. Did you know Larry hated dogs? He was trying to ban them from the Market. Of course his proposal ticked off a lot of people in Rogue Valley, including me. With any luck, his scheme will fizzle out and dogs will remain welcome guests for many years to come.”

  As Sadie walked out the door and onto the front porch, Mary said something that confirmed the cautious feeling in her gut.

  “I can’t say I’m sorry Larry is dead, Ms. Sunshine. Actually, his passing has made things a lot nicer for my sister. Francis is now the sole owner of Bite Me! Sarah has a hard life loving that man, but now she can travel and buy anything she wants. Larry may have been the mayor’s brother, but he wasn’t nearly as nice or respectable. I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t appreciate a dog. That’s another thing Larry and Francis had in common. Francis hates Bubba. He hates all dogs for that matter. Yep, Larry and Francis were two peas in a pod.”