by Jordan Ford
Glancing down at my hands, I hold them out, relieved they’ve finally stopped trembling.
“What are you doing?” Maddie snickers as she pulls into the parking lot.
I quickly pull my sleeves over my hands. “Just checking my nails are clean.”
“You should paint them again.” Maddie switches off the engine and unbuckles. “You love that.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Not during baseball season.”
“True.” Maddie laughs, her face lighting like the sun when she glances out the windshield and notices Holden waiting for her.
He’s got this loved-up smile on his face, and I’m once again caught between that emotion of being happy for them and gutted for me.
Holden’s gorgeous, and underneath that arrogant jock persona is a really good guy. I wish he wanted me, but he loves Mads…and I seriously am happy for them.
I just wish that happiness didn’t burn so bad.
Shutting the door behind me, I lean against the car and watch her jump into his arms. He laughs and spins her around before placing her back on her feet and kissing her thoroughly.
A little too thoroughly considering we’re outside school.
I guess they’re in that new, giddy, I’ve never been happier stage of their relationship.
I wonder what that feels like.
I mean, I know what that feels like, considering I’ve spent most of my teenage life crushing on guys. My problem is that I always crush on the wrong ones. If I look back over my high school—even my middle school—years, I’ve always been attracted to the coolest guys in school.
It makes sense, right? They’re usually good-looking, sporty, smooth. Everybody likes them, so why shouldn’t I?
Because they never like me back.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I obviously don’t have the looks and personality to capture them. When Holden asked me to the homecoming dance, I finally thought I’d broken the cycle, but nope.
Here I am all over again…liking the wrong guy.
Except I can’t like the guy anymore, because he’s with my sister.
Clenching my teeth, I walk away from them and into the school. After my experience from last night, I should probably give up on guys altogether. But I have a romantic heart and there’s this part of me that just knows I’m supposed to be in love one day. And maybe, if all the planets align correctly, someone will be in love with me too.
The right someone.
I wish I knew who he was.
Reaching my locker, I wrestle with my stubborn lock until it finally relents. Flicking the door open, I reach in to take out my books for the morning and am stilled by a white piece of paper sitting askew, like someone fed it through the air vents at the top.
Curiosity flickers inside of me as I reach for the note.
Glancing over my shoulder, I try to see who might have left it, but no one’s paying any attention to me.
I’m guessing you didn’t sleep well. I know today will be hard.
But nothing’s going to touch you, okay?
You’re safe. I’ll make sure of it.
Thanks for letting me drive you home.
V
My heart does this weird double-kick, my nose tingling with tears as I read the note again. With a little sniff, I glance down the corridor, searching for signs of Vincent. But I can’t see him anywhere.
I’ll have to thank him in Biology. But that will look weird, right? Going up and talking to him.
People will want to know why.
Gossip will start. Rumors will spread.
I don’t want that. And he doesn’t need it either.
Even though I’d love to announce to everyone at this school that Vincent Mancini saved me last night, I don’t think he’d want me to.
I don’t even know why I feel that way.
I just have this sense that Vincent wants to keep his rescue mission on the down-low, the same way I don’t want to utter my almost worst nightmare to anybody.
“Hey, sunshine!” Rahn jumps up to my locker and I let out a little yelp. “Oh, sorry.” She winces, her brown eyes wide with surprise.
I let out a shaky laugh and tuck the note inside my pocket. “I didn’t hear you coming, you little stealth ninja.” My joke feels weird and forced, but she laughs anyway.
“So you got home okay. Thank God!” She looks to the ceiling, her gestures always so dramatic. “I was seriously freaking out that I’d totally let you down by leaving early. I had visions of you being kidnapped on the way home or something.”
I force out a laugh that probably sounds borderline maniacal, but if Rahn knew the truth, she’d never forgive herself. Clearing my throat, I get busy organizing my books for the morning.
“Don’t worry about it. I told you to go.”
“I know, but still…not exactly a best friend move.”
I grin, glad she considers me a best friend already. We’ve only been hanging out a couple of months, but it does feel like we were born to be besties.
“I should totally pay for your Uber. How much was it?”
I stop her before she can reach for her wallet. “Don’t be silly. It was my choice to stay.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” I give her an adamant look, praying she won’t press me.
Thankfully she tips her head and beams me a smile. “You’re a sweetheart, you know that? Such a good heart.”
“So I’m told.”
“Only because it’s true.” She grips my arm and plants a kiss on my cheek. “See you in Bio, bright eyes.”
Her long ponytail dances as she waltzes off to her locker. I watch her go, warmed by her sunny disposition. I’m so glad I have her at the moment.
Closing my locker, I head to homeroom, slipping the note out of my pocket and reading it again.
Rahn’s not the only person I’m grateful for right now.
A soft smile tugs at my lips as I soak in Vincent’s words. The fear that’s been pulsing through me all night eases just a little…
You’re safe. I’ll make sure of it.
6
Locker Notes
VINCENT
Chloe’s reading my note.
And she’s smiling.
The coarse rope that’s been binding my heart ever since sliding the note into her locker starts to unravel.
I rub my cheek, remembering the soft brush of her lips against my skin.
No one ever dares to get close enough to kiss me…to let me in.
I usually like it that way. My scowling glare and on-the-edge temper provides protection on both sides. People can’t afford to get close to me and my insane family, which is why I push them all away. And keeping them at arm’s length stops me from forming any kind of bond that will inevitably get broken.
But this morning as I was getting ready for school…thinking about the kind of night Chloe must have had, I couldn’t not do something.
It’s only a note.
It can’t do any harm, but the fact that she’s reading it while she’s walking to class fills me with something I don’t even recognize.
I like this feeling, and I want it to stick around, even though I know it won’t.
Good things don’t happen to people like me.
Pure things like Chloe shouldn’t even come near me.
But at least she knows she’s safe. I just wanted to offer a little comfort. And I think I did, which makes me feel like a million bucks.
I’m actually in a good mood when I slip into homeroom. As usual, I take my seat in the back of the room and warn people off with a stony-faced glare. That shit really unnerves people.
I keep my scowl in place, only softening it slightly when Chloe’s eyes brush across mine in Biology class. She keeps glancing at me, and as much as I love those blue-green eyes, it makes me twitchy.
Twitchy with longing.
Twitchy with the truth that this yearning can never be satisfied.
By lunchtime my good mood has disappe
ared and been replaced with that standard charcoal cloud that seems to swirl in my chest on a regular basis.
I skip lunch the way I always do. I hate being in the cafeteria. Pulling a squished piece of bread from the bottom of my bag, I tear a mouthful off and slowly chew the plain, boring meal while shuffling through the hallways.
This is standard operating procedure for me.
Sometimes I head downstairs and loiter near the music room so I can hear Velocity rehearse. Other times, I roam the halls. And occasionally, I’ll head to the library. Today I go for hall roaming, and by the time I’ve finished my piece of bread, I’m at my locker.
The bell’s not due to ring for another fifteen minutes, but I decide to get prepped for afternoon classes anyway.
Reaching for the lock, I feel that uneasy vibe shudder through me. Ever since Luke Frost planted that mitt and those drugs in my locker, I’ve been nervous of what I’ll find. It’s only been a couple of days since returning to school, but I’m still cautious. Being set up sucks. I should find Luke and beat the shit out of him, but I guess I understand why he picked me as his scapegoat. Thanks to my family’s reputation, I’m the perfect fall guy.
Pushing the lock up and then down, I give it a little rattle and it pops open. It took me weeks to come up with that technique. My locker got a fair share of abuse in those early days, until I could figure out the damn lock.
No wonder people avoid me. There are still dent marks in the metal from my boots.
Licking the edge of my mouth, I pull the door back and freeze when I spot a white sheet of paper folded in half.
My heart starts pounding as I slowly reach for it, and with my breath on hold, I open it up and read…
You’re right…I didn’t sleep well. I hope the nightmares don’t last too long.
I still haven’t found the courage to tell anybody, which makes me feel kind of bad. Like I’m a coward. But I just can’t seem to form the words.
I wish I had your strength. To just step up and beat those guys the way you did… You don’t even know me and you ran into a fight to save me from something hideous.
You’re an honorable warrior.
I wish more people knew that, but somehow I sense you don’t want them to.
Thanks again for what you did. It’s a privilege to know the truth.
C
I scan the note again, rereading her words until they’re memorized.
I’m not even aware of the shuffling in the corridor around me until the bell rings and I’m brought back to earth.
An honorable warrior.
Holy shit. That’s a title right there.
It’s not really one I deserve, and I should tell Chloe that.
Snatching a pen from the bottom of my bag, I quickly rip a sheet of paper from the back of my English notebook and write her back.
I’m no warrior. And you are no coward.
I was just in the right place at the right time.
You have no idea how good it felt to pound those guys. What they were trying to do to you made me sick to my core.
No girl deserves that.
Especially a girl with a heart like yours.
You deserve only respect, because you are one of the nicest human beings I’ve ever seen. Watching you at school…the way you are with people, I
“Mancini, move it! The bell rang five minutes ago!” Principal Sheehan barks at me.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m going,” I mutter under my breath, grabbing my stuff and haphazardly folding the note in half.
I race down the corridor, passing Chloe’s locker on my way. I shouldn’t put my note in yet. I haven’t even proofread it. It’s not finished. But before I can stop myself, I slide the paper through the vent and run to class.
It’s not until I’m walking in late on Mr. Moreno’s lesson that I suddenly regret what I did. My mind is scrambling for what I put in that note. Was my tone right? What the hell did I say? How the fuck did I end it?
Shit! I think I’ve just totally screwed this up.
Slumping into my seat, I grip my pen, nearly snapping it in half as I can do nothing but sweat it out and hope like hell the note spontaneously combusts before Chloe finds it and thinks I’m some kind of creepy stalker.
7
No One Else Knows
CHLOE
I can’t stop smiling.
Vincent’s notes are so sweet. They reveal a side of him I never even knew existed. Talking about me deserving respect. Wow.
As I stand on the baseball field, pitching to my sister, I can’t stop reeling at the idea that Vincent Mancini is not the guy I thought he was. He puts on this angry persona to push people away. I’m not sure why exactly, but underneath it all is a sweetheart.
A sweetheart I want to get to know.
Maddie catches my pitch and stands tall to lob the ball back to me. It thumps into my mitt and I set up to send a slider her way.
I’m not the world’s best pitcher. I mean, I’m not bad, but I just don’t see myself doing this after high school. Heck, I might not even bother with it next year. Once my sisters leave for college, I’m not sure I’ll have it in me to drag my butt onto this field without them.
I wonder how Dad will feel about that. He probably won’t care as long as Max is playing college ball. Poor Max. I mean, she seems to love baseball, but sometimes I worry that Dad puts too much pressure on her. She’s definitely been off since we moved to Armitage.
I glance at the batting cage as soon as Maddie’s caught my pitch. Max is swinging at Holden’s pitches, making him work hard to strike her out. My lips twitch at the frustration on his face. I share a look with Maddie, who’s now walking toward me. She chuckles, like it’s fun to watch her boyfriend have to sweat it out in order to best her sister.
Swinging her arm over my shoulder, we lean against each other on the mound and take a quick break.
“You seem brighter today.”
I roll my eyes. “I told you, I was just tired last night.”
“I’m glad that’s all it was.” Maddie kisses my cheek and then heads across to Holden.
She’s got a bounce in her step like she’s never had before. I guess being in love brings out the happy in people.
I wipe my forehead with the back of my arm and fight a grin.
I do feel brighter this afternoon, and I’m pretty sure it’s because of Vincent.
By the time we walk in the door, I’ve already started formulating my next note. As soon as dinner’s over, I’m going to escape to my room and figure out exactly what I want to say. For some reason, Vincent finished his note mid-sentence, which makes me think that he was rushing to scribble something down before the bell went off and he ran out of time. I bet he put that note in my locker on impulse. Like he did it before he lost his nerve.
I giggle, finding the idea of me making someone nervous completely absurd.
As I wait my turn for the bathroom, I pull out a sheet of paper and decide to start writing something now.
These notes are enlightening. I kind of like seeing this side of you. It’s like a privilege no one else gets. I don’t know if that’s the right way to look at it or not, but thank you for being so kind to me.
“Bathroom’s free!” Max shouts.
I hide my note away and run to the shower.
We’ve never been allowed long showers in our house—three girls, one bathroom, I’m sure you can imagine—so I rush through my cleanup and am soon standing in front of the mirror combing my hair.
“Hey, you’re home early.” Mom sounds surprised.
I go still as my parents meet up in the hallway outside the bathroom. I can tell it’s Dad because I’m sure I heard them kiss.
“You look tired.” Mom’s voice is soft, and I seriously should not be straining to listen in on their conversation.
Dad grunts. “I feel like I’m always tired.”
“Did you have a good day though?”
“Yeah, as good as I can. I spent most of the morning trying
to help the guys narrow down an anonymous call that came in last night. Apparently some girl was attacked near Fort Street.”
“Oh no,” Mom whispers while my heart catapults into my throat.
“I’ve got a feeling someone stepped in before they could violate the girl. The tip gave very clear descriptions of what went down and the men’s physical descriptions. Hayley picked one of them up this afternoon. His nose was broken and he had some pretty nasty bruises on his face. He’s of course denying everything. Says some young guy tried to beat the crap out of him and steal his wallet. Said it was a Mancini.”
“Do you believe him?”
“My gut’s telling me not to, but I’d really like to find this guy who called in the tip…and the girl who was attacked.”
My heart is seriously lodged in my throat right now. It’s a struggle to breathe as I lean my ear against the wood to catch the rest of the conversation.
“Do you think the person who called in the tip rescued this girl somehow?”
“Maybe,” Dad murmurs. “But why hide that? He’s a hero.”
“He might be worried that he’ll get in trouble for beating the guys up.”
“Yeah, I guess so. That poor girl though. Must have been a nightmare for her.”
“Thank God she was saved. You said Fort Street, right?”
“Yeah.” Dad sighs.
“The church Chloe volunteers at is on Fort Street. Do you think we should still let her go? If there are guys like that lurking in the neighborhood, she’s vulnerable. So is her friend.”
“She’ll hate us if we don’t let her keep helping.”
“I know, but after what happened to Maddie at the school… I just can’t stand the idea of my babies being in danger.”
“They’re big girls now.” Dad’s voice rumbles with emotion. “But I think you’re right. Chloe needs to stay on this side of town until we lock down this second suspect.”
