by Jordan Ford
I frown but stay quiet, not wanting to alert my parents to the fact that I’ve been eavesdropping. I wait until they move out of the hallway before easing the door open and sneaking to my room.
I’m kind of annoyed that they’ve made the decision without even talking to me about it, but I understand. If I put myself in their shoes, I wouldn’t want my daughter going off to that part of town either. Man, if I admit the truth, they won’t even let me leave the house.
Plunking onto my bed, I gaze at the pen on my nightstand and my mind immediately jumps to Vincent.
Anonymous tip.
Wow. He really is a hero.
Snatching the pen, I grab the note and try to finish it before the dinner call.
Just so you know, Dad said that one of the guys who attacked me last night was picked up this morning. Apparently someone called in an anonymous tip last night.
Smart move. You’re braver than me.
I’m glad you’re letting the police handle it. I’m glad you trust them to do the right thing.
I don’t know your full story so I’m only guessing here, but it must be hard to trust the law in your part of town. I hate preconceived ideas, but unfortunately they exist, and that must make you feel quite vulnerable sometimes.
Just so you know, you never have to worry about me. I’m big on believing that there’s goodness in all of us, but people have their different reasons for not letting it show.
Thank you for showing me your goodness. It’s a beautiful thing.
I stop and tap my pen on the paper for a second, deciding just how far to go. Part of me wants to open up to him, so he can see a part of me too…a part that no one else knows.
Pursing my lips, I grip the pen in my hand and then grin.
I like chocolate raisins.
Random, I know, but Maddie’s lactose intolerant, Max doesn’t have a sweet tooth, and my parents are all about healthy living. So, when no one’s watching, I go for it. I can finish an entire box of Raisinets all by myself. I always feel sick afterward, but it’s so worth it.
Now you know something about me that no one else does.
I kind of like that.
Hope to read from you again soon.
C
8
Secret Letters
VINCENT
Your notes are enlightening too. I always figured you were kind, but you seem to have an extra batch of empathy that most people lack. I like the way you look past appearances and make your own guesses. There’s always a backstory, right?
So, you’re a Raisinets girl, huh?
Give me a Butterfinger any day of the week. I’m also pretty good with M&Ms. No sharing required, if you know what I mean.
You do, don’t you?
I feel like I could write you anything, and you’d know what I meant.
V
You’re sweet. I love that you’re a candy freak like me. Can I call you Butterfinger boy? Or maybe the M&M man :)
There’s nothing like sugar to really comfort the soul though, right?
Oh man, that’s so bad! Talk about unhealthy living, but seriously…sugar is good for the soul. I truly believe that ;)
I’m also a fan of romantic movies and novels. They’re good for the soul too. Anything where love wins… you can’t beat it. Love is the strongest weapon on this planet. That’s what I want to spend my life proving to people.
C
You amaze me.
I wish you were right, but unfortunately hate is like a nuclear bomb. I live with it every day. It’s this disease that eats and devours anything good around it. I wish I could look at the world the way you do.
I wish love was stronger than all the bullshit.
V
It is.
Love will ultimately win. People deserve happy endings. They deserve to be understood and cared for. I know that’s often not the case, which is why there are people like you…and me. You go in with your fists at the ready to physically defend. My style’s different—I hug, I listen and try to encourage with my words. But they’re both forms of love, and if enough people could do that, this world will be a better place.
Am I sounding cheesy right now?
I’m not delusional. I know the world will never be at peace, but I’m going to do my part to spread the love and create peace where I’m able.
That’s why I want to get into humanitarian work. There’s a world of people out there who need to be shown a little love and kindness. There’s a whole world in Armitage that needs the same. I’ll focus on that for now ;)
C
Folding Chloe’s note in half, I press it against my chest before slipping it into my pocket. This girl is amazing. Her attitude toward life. Her outlook. I’ve never met anyone like her.
We’ve been passing notes for just over a week now and with each new letter, I fall a little harder. It’s dangerous and I should stop. Someone like Chloe shouldn’t be with me. She’s too innocent and hopeful to truly understand the darkness in this world. She wants to save it with hugs and words, but she’s dreaming.
Problem is she’s making me dream too.
She’s making me imagine what life outside of Mancini-land could look like. For the first time ever, I’m really thinking ahead, finding the courage to imagine rather than just tell myself I have to get out.
She’s helping me see what “get out” looks like.
It’s inspiring.
No doubt dangerous, and possibly a waste of time, but…
I don’t want to stop.
If anything, I want to get closer.
Which is why when Chloe turns the corner and starts walking my way, I step into her path before thought can stop me.
She glances up and kind of jolts when she sees I want to talk to her. We haven’t spoken two words since the night I dropped her at home. It’s all been through secret letters. But I want to hear her voice again.
Tipping my head to the left, I spin and start walking away, hoping she’s understood and will follow me.
I don’t stop walking until I’ve made it down the flight of stairs and am tucked into a private alcove near the music room. Hardly anyone ventures down here during lunchtime…except for Velocity, and they’re always too busy playing to notice me.
Holding my breath, I lean against the wall and hope.
My fingers curl into a fist, my heart rate accelerating as excitement and fear battle for top position.
She’s not going to come.
She won’t follow. Why would she?
“There you are.”
Her soft voice makes me jerk and bolt away from the wall, nerves scouring my insides.
She’s right there. Close enough to touch.
Her blue eyes sparkle with a smile. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I rasp, then clear my throat. “Uh, thank you for your notes.”
She tips her head, her nose wrinkling. “You don’t believe me, do you? You don’t believe in happy endings.”
“I wish I could,” I murmur, drinking in her beauty while I can.
She’s going to say no. She’s going to prove me right.
Pulling her sleeves down over her hands, she leans her weight to one side and smiles at me again. She’s waiting for me to explain why I brought her down here.
My throat goes dry. I’ve never asked a girl out before. Not like this, anyway. I usually hook up with chicks at clubs or parties. It’s spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment stuff that has no lasting effect. I’m usually supposed to be working for Enzo, so the girls are a nice reprieve.
And Chloe’s nothing like them.
“Did you want to talk to me about something?” she finally asks.
“Um…” I swallow, then lick the corner of my mouth. “Yeah, I… Do you want to go out sometime?”
Her lips part, like this question was the last one she was expecting.
“Just to hang out and talk. You know, so I don’t have to wait hours for your reply.”
“Oh, I…” She bites
the tip of her tongue between her lips, crucifying my hope and reminding me that my worldview is more realistic than hers. Girls like her don’t date assholes like me.
She looks to the ground. “I’m not sure. I—”
“That’s okay. You don’t have to.”
“No, it’s just—”
“See ya later.”
I push past her and walk away before she can come up with some lame excuse.
She should just tell me she doesn’t want to, but that’s not her style.
She’s too nice.
Too sweet.
She’d never just come out with the ugly truth like that.
Shoving my hands in my pockets, I storm up the stairs, my mood blackening as I stalk down the corridor.
“Fuck this,” I mutter, veering for the exit.
I’ll get detention tomorrow but I don’t give a shit. Right now, I just want to drive up to Cherry Top Hill and stare at the view for a while. No one else will be there at this time of day, and it’s a quiet space where I can vent a few screams and punch the air for a while.
It’s a hell of a lot better than sitting in some classroom trying to learn when I know deep down that it’s a big fat waste of time.
I’m not getting out of this shitty life.
I shouldn’t let Chloe’s notes affect me so bad.
I shouldn’t have let myself dream.
9
Best Friends with Classified Information
CHLOE
I step into the dark alcove with a frown. Leaning against the wall where I found Vincent, I wonder how else I could have played it.
Part of me wanted to chase after him, but that angry, rejected look on his face told me he probably wouldn’t have listened anyway.
Truth is, I’d love to go out with him. I’d love to have a back and forth conversation. I’d like to watch the way his lips move when he forms an answer, stare at his chiseled jawline while the muscles clench and unclench.
There’s something so strong about his face. I’ve been spying it any chance I can get and between that and his letters, I’m scoring myself a great big crush.
But he’s Vincent Mancini.
I mean, I don’t care, but everyone else sure will.
They won’t see past his family name and angry scowls to the sweet guy underneath. I could try and tell them, but they won’t hear me.
How am I supposed to get out of the house to even go on a date with him? Mom and Dad are still being super cautious, even though Dad’s apprehended the second attacker. He can’t charge him with attempted rape because I still haven’t stepped up. I was prepared to, but I heard Dad say that the guy had illegal drugs on him and they’ll charge him with that instead. So I don’t have to admit the truth anymore.
It’s still a cowardly way out, but I’m worried about his reaction.
Rahn’s already sad that I can’t go to St. Michael’s with her anymore. If I can just give it a couple more weeks, Mom and Dad will cool down and I can go again.
Rahn.
I stand up straight.
Maybe she can help me.
Turning out of the alcove, I’m about to walk down the corridor when the music room door opens. I recognize Max’s laughter before I see her. Ducking back into the alcove, I hide away and play spy.
She’s walking out the door with Cairo. He has a loved-up look on his face. His hand is on her lower back and he smiles before bending down to kiss her. She leans into it, threading her hands around his neck and deepening the kiss.
Oh really!
Well, this is interesting.
So Maddie gets Holden and Max has Cairo.
I wonder if Maddie knows about this. I sure didn’t.
Max leans her forehead against Cairo’s cheek. Oh my gosh, she’s one hundred percent smitten! She whispers goodbye, pecks his lips one more time, then walks up the stairs without him.
I see, they’re going secret with the whole dating thing. Cairo watches her walk away, looking kind of dismal about it. I bet he wants to hold Max’s hand and claim her in front of everyone, but she won’t let him do it.
But why?
I snicker and shake my head. Because of Dad. She’s afraid if she tells someone the truth, she’ll lose Cairo. It’s not like Dad’s going to open his arms and welcome some longhaired rock star into Max’s life.
Pursing my lips, I consider what my sister is doing. You know, her reasoning is kind of valid. And if she can do it, maybe I can too.
Determination fires through me. I wait for Cairo to leave and then subtly follow him up the stairs. As soon as I’m back in the hallway, I run to Rahn’s locker.
She’s there, busily chatting with someone who’s only half listening.
“Hey.” I bounce up to her, already giddy with my plan.
Although I’m kind of nervous too.
But Rahn’s a romantic like me; surely she’ll understand.
“Can we talk?”
“Sure.” Rahn checks her watch. “We’ve got like five minutes before the bell goes.”
“I’ve got a free period now. Do you?”
She looks thoughtful and then gives me a wicked grin. “I can have a free period now.”
“I don’t want you to get in trouble.” I wince.
“It’s just PE.” She sticks out her tongue. “I’ll tell Coach Keenan that I’ve got major cramps. As soon as you mention anything to do with the female anatomy, he goes pale and excuses you from anything. As long as I’m there before the end of the period, it’ll be okay.” She giggles and threads her arm through mine. “So, hey, why weren’t you in the cafeteria at lunch?”
“That’s what I need to talk to you about.”
Her black eyebrows wiggle. “Oooo, intrigue. I love it!”
“Oh yeah, I’m pretty sure you’re going to adore this, once you get over your shock.”
“O-kay.”
Pulling her toward the library, I figure we can pretend we’re working on an assignment together.
I pick a table in a quiet corner at the back and lean my arms against the wood. Rahn leans in too, her brown eyes dancing with excitement.
“You’ve got to swear that you will not say anything to anyone.”
“Okay.”
“No, I’m serious. This is super top secret.”
“Got it.” Rahn gives me a serious look. “I promise. I won’t utter a word to anyone.”
“Okay.” Pulling in a breath, I go to start talking, then stop and squeeze her arm. “Oh yeah, and you need to be quite open-minded on this one.”
Her eyes narrow. “Chloe Barlow, what are you into?”
I cringe and softly whisper, “Vincent Mancini.”
Her lips drop with a gasp. Slapping my hand over her mouth, I glance over my shoulder to make sure no one’s watching.
“Shhh,” I whisper. “It’s a long story.”
“Then you better start talking,” she mumbles beneath my hand.
I release her and, with a jittery smile, launch into the week I’ve just had. I’m really careful how I word the near attack at the church. As expected, Rahn feels awful, but I distract her with all the positives that have come out of it.
She’s eventually won over by the romance of it all. I even show her one of Vincent’s letters and she totally swoons.
“I can’t believe this. What a sweetheart.”
“I know, right?”
“So why does he always look like a scary asshole?”
“It’s a front.” I shrug, folding the letter and tucking it back into my bag. “I don’t know exactly why he does it, but I want to find out those details. I want to find out everything about him.” I look to the ceiling and can’t help a dreamy smile.
It’s really sinking in that Vincent Mancini asked me out, and unlike Holden Carter, I feel like he really means it.
“Aren’t you a little scared? I mean, what if he’s just putting on a front to get you somewhere quiet and alone?”
“I honestly don’t think he is. And
before you remind me of my Holden Carter experience, I just want to say how different this is. When it comes to romance, I’ve always been the chaser. I’ve flirted and put myself in their line of vision, done everything I can to make them want me. But with Vincent, I haven’t even tried. I’ve just been myself. I swear these notes feel like pieces of his heart. I trust him.”
Rahn bites her lip, still looking cautious.
“He saved me. I don’t think he has any dark ulterior motives.”
“I just want you to be safe. His family is—”
“I don’t think he’s going to let me anywhere near his family.”
“Okay.” Rahn bobs her head. “Okay, so… all right. I’ll help you, but you’ve got to promise that you’ll go somewhere public and safe.”
“Public?” I cringe. “I wouldn’t be asking you to keep this a secret if I was happy to go public.”
“No, I mean, a busy area, like…” She sits up and snaps her fingers. “There’s a fair near Brazenwood. It runs over Spring Break. That would be the perfect place to go on a date.”
“But won’t there be Armitage people there?”
“Maybe.” Rahn shrugs. “But it’s a fair. There’ll be plenty of places to hide and if anyone spots you, you can just say you bumped into Vincent and were having a little chat.”
I give her a skeptical frown. “Like that’ll fly.”
“Hey, it’s the best solution I’ve got, and I won’t agree unless you promise that you’re going to hang out somewhere open and public.”
I roll my eyes with a sigh. “Okay, fine. I promise. I’ll find him and ask him to take me to the fair.”
“Good.” Rahn nods. “Then I will officially cover for you, saying that we’re off doing something girly—like a movie and milkshakes afterward.”
“We’ll have to get our stories straight.”
“We will.” She grins.
“Are you sure you don’t mind doing this for me?”
Taking my hand, she gives it a squeeze. “You’re my soul sister. Of course I don’t mind.”
