[2016] A Widow's Love

by Christian Michael

  Her mother had passes away when Amelia was fifteen, and it had been just her and her step father ever since. She hoped after her mother had passed that things would be better for her and her dad, but they only seemed to get worse. The older Amelia got, the more he wanted her to be home and working in the kitchen.

  When Amelia turned nineteen, she hoped her step father would allow her to attend the academy in town. It was one of the only academies in all of Georgia that allowed women, and Amelia felt it was an opportunity for her to better herself, and maybe get to travel.

  But Toby, her step father, was clear on his point of view. He wanted her home, at all times. She could go down to the general store and fetch the things they needed for dinner, or she might walk up in the back pasture when her things were done, but she wasn’t going to any academies, she wasn’t going to the library, and she certainly wasn’t going to be out meeting young men in the town.

  And so the fights ensued. When she was younger, Amelia’s mother was the one who kept Toby busy. She would often cook and clean, and mind the house while he was down at the saloon passing the day away. She taught Amelia to cook and clean, and how to mind the house, but she never told Amelia when she should find her own house.

  At the time, Amelia never gave it a lot of thought. She was happy there with her mother most of the time, as long as she stayed out of Toby’s way. The few times their paths did cross in a day, it was usually short and sweet, and Amelia would get back to her schooling and her chores.

  Then Amelia finished her school, but instead of moving on to apprentice with one of the other women in town, she took care of her mother, who had fallen sick with Scarlet Fever. In spite of all the care and tears Amelia cast for her mother, the sickness won out and she was left alone with Toby.

  Toby hadn’t been around for her mother when she was ill, and Amelia partially blamed him for her passing. If he had spent more of his money on medicine and more of his time with her mother, she may have been able to recover, but as it happened, her mother had to suffer with the little things Amelia was able to make for her, but never with any real medication.

  Amelia had begged Toby to allow her to send for the doctor, but he had refused. Time and time again he told her the doctor wasn’t any good, and he was only going to take the little money they had. There would be no sense in hiring a doctor to do what Amelia was able to do without one, so they never sent for one.

  The years after her mother passes were rough for Amelia. She was in the home whenever Toby was home, doing the things that he required of her to do. She would cook and clean, and mend the clothing. If there were errands to run, she would do them, and if a guest were to be coming for dinner, it was Amelia’s job to purchase and make the food.

  She had little time to herself, but even the time that she did have Toby controlled. He didn’t allow her to go anywhere. If there was a chance she may meet someone and fall in love, he didn’t allow her to attend, even if he would also be present. She wasn’t allowed to go to any of the parties, and going about town except for errands was strictly forbidden.

  Now, as Amelia sat on the chair in the kitchen, she felt as though she had reached her breaking point. Enough was enough, and this was getting to be unbearable. There were times when she considered going to the sheriff, but she knew she couldn’t prove anything, and she felt she would likely get in more trouble with Toby if she did.

  She begged him to go to church with her, but as the weeks passed, he not only refused, but he tried to keep her from going as well. Amelia knew it couldn’t go on like this forever. She had to do something.

  She had already given up on her dreams, her hopes, and any of the plans she ever had for the future. She forgot what it was like to be happy, and whenever she thought of the things she wanted, an overwhelming sadness fell over her that took hours or even days to shake.

  As she sat there with her head in her hands, she let the tears fall. She prayed to God that something would change for her, and soon. She couldn’t stay a prisoner in this house forever, she just couldn’t.

  Something had to change, and soon.

  Chapter 2 – The Lost Biscuits

  “Where are the biscuits? Amelia!”

  Amelia jumped at the sudden shout in the kitchen. She had been spending the past few days trying to get on Toby’s good side, but to little avail. She had spent all of the money she saved on his favorite foods… jerky, nuts, and those little dried fruits the general store had every now and then… and she had been certain to get all of the chores done before he got home.

  Toby liked it best when the work was done when he wasn’t around. He wanted to wake up to breakfast on the table, and leave the work at home as he went about town. When he returned, he expected dinner to be waiting for him, with all of the other chores in the house done.

  Amelia remembered how her mother had always worked so hard to make it happen, and how many nights she had failed. There was simply too much to do in their large house. There were the chickens in the back of the house to tend to, the milk cow and the horse in the stable, and there was the cooking and the cleaning to do inside.

  Back in the olden days, there had been a handful of servants that did all the work for the master of the house, or at least that is what Toby had told them. Amelia often wondered how old Toby had managed to get such a fine house when he didn’t work much.

  As a child she had foolishly asked him how it had happened, and he had become very angry with her. He told her that it was his house and she ought to be grateful she got to live in it, and never mind asking the questions of where it came from. Amelia never asked another question after that.

  Her mother never mentioned whether or not she knew, nor would she answer if Amelia asked her why she married such a hard man. All in all, Amelia had to live her life as it was, and never wonder if there was something better out there.

  Now, her heart pounded in her chest as she hurried down the hall to the kitchen. She had been certain she had made the biscuits. That was the first thing she had done the afternoon before. Where could they have gone?

  “I made a whole mess of them and left them in the basket on the window.”

  Amelia was already explaining herself before she got to the kitchen. She knew if she didn’t start early, he would do all of the yelling, and she wouldn’t be able to get a word in edgewise. Toby’s face was red, and he had bulges in his forehead and neck from where his veins were.

  Amelia looked around the kitchen, trying to remember what she had done with the biscuits.

  “You left them on the window did you? On the window?! How many times must I tell you never to leave the things on the window!? There are way too many quick fingers in this neighborhood for that, you stupid girl! Look there!”

  Toby pointed out the window, and Amelia leaned over the sill to look out into the yard. There, on the ground, was the basket. There were a couple of biscuits on the grass where the thief had dropped them in his haste, but the rest of them were gone.

  “I’m sorry, I thought that since I was home I would hear someone coming over the fence.”

  Amelia’s voice was small. It was true, he had told her not to leave the food there on more than once occasion, but Amelia never thought that this would really happen. She was now backing to the door, hoping to avoid the lecture she knew was about to come down on her.

  “You get out of this house right now, and you go straight down to the bakers! I want you to get one… no… two dozen biscuits! You go down there and you purchase those biscuits with your own money, and you get back here by four o’clock, do you understand me?!”

  Toby was still yelling, and the louder he got, the redder his face got. Amelia nodded, her own face pale, and she hurried out into the street. She was in such a hurry she didn’t even put on her bonnet, and the sun beat down on her head. The dust was blowing the dry ground, and it settled in her eyes.

  Amelia was always a young woman of pride, she never wanted to be seen by anyone in anything less than h
er best, and she now felt more embarrassed than she could describe. Her face was red with shame, feeling the stares of the other people on the street.

  They all knew her step father, and many of them respected the man. They were ashamed of her for his sake, and this sight only solidified in their minds how she was. Amelia wanted to hide in the trees she passed, but she was on a mission. The time she had to be home was fast approaching, and she didn’t want to endure the wrath of Toby for being late on top of losing the biscuits.

  Amelia hurried at the baker’s, and tapped her foot impatiently as the baker went to the back to fill a basket with biscuits for her.

  There’s got to be more to life than all of this. This can’t be it. I’m too young for this sort of thing. I just know it.

  A flood of emotions swept over her, and she felt tight in her chest. For the first time in a long time, Amelia felt something different than resignation. As she stood there, watching the doors gently swing back and forth from the baker passing through them, she realized if something was going to happen, she had to do it herself.

  Life wasn’t a pile of flowers blown by the wind, and she didn’t want to end up the same way her mother had. She wasn’t going to stand for this any longer. She was going to make a change.

  Amelia decided she was going to run away.

  Chapter 3 – The Paper on the Wall

  The baker seemed to take an eternity to get the biscuits in the basket and bring them out to her. It was getting to the point Amelia was about ready to leave without them. The only thing that kept her there was the fact she would have to deal with Toby when she got home.

  He is going to be mad enough I was gone so long, I hardly dare show up again without his biscuits, or I will really be in for it.

  Finally, the baker reappeared, with the basket heaping over with hot biscuits.

  “I thought I would wait a few minutes to pull the fresh ones out of the fire. What do you think?”

  Amelia wanted to just leave, but she couldn’t help but notice how beautiful the biscuits were on basket, and they did indeed smell quite fresh.

  “Thanks so much, Mr. Cartwheel. My father is going to appreciate it more than you know.”

  She always felt odd calling Toby her father. He was only that relation because he married her mother. Her real father had been gone a long time. She paid the baker and left, walking as quickly as she could with the basket full of biscuits. Although the streets were crowded, Amelia was able to walk quickly through the skirts and boots on her way back home.

  Suddenly, something caught the corner of her eye. There was something on the bulletin board outside the sheriff’s office. Something that hadn’t been there before. Amelia never paid much mind to the “wanted” posters that were hung by the door, the bounty hunters were the ones who dealt with that, but she still too, note when something changed.

  Every now and then she would see one of the posters come down, and she would wonder if that man was caught by one of the Georgia sheriffs, or if that outlaw had been caught in another part of the country. Time after time Amelia wondered what it would be like to be an outlaw, and longed for the freedom they had.

  Of course I wouldn’t want to break the law, but it would sure be nice to be just me and the wide open stars. Miles after miles of prairie land, with nothing and nobody to nag at me.

  Amelia found herself walking over to the sheriff’s, trying to get a closer look at the new paper that was posted. She laughed at herself for her fancies. Of course she didn’t want to be all alone out there on the prairie, she just wanted to be away from Toby.

  She finally pushed her over to the sheriff’s and now stood on her tip toes to see the paper that was posted. Amelia had only finished the basic schooling, so she couldn’t read well, but she did manage to read the two words posted on the top of the page.

  “Brides Wanted”

  Her heart leapt in her throat, as she suddenly saw a way to make her plans come true. Amelia glanced up and down the street. It was full of people still pushing against each other, each trying to make their way wherever they were going, but nobody was on the street that Amelia recognized.

  She hurriedly reached up and snatched the paper, then rolled it up and slipped it in her boot. No doubt Toby would wonder what had taken her so long, and he would suspect she had gone to the library. If she hid the paper in her cloak he may discover it, but there would have been no way to put a book in her boot, so she knew the paper was safe in there.

  With a sudden surge of promise, Amelia grasped the basket in both of her hands, and hurried home, as quickly as her feet could carry her.

  “I swear I could have made seven batches of biscuits by now! Where on earth were you?!”

  Toby was already yelling before Amelia was even in the door. She tried to act as natural as possible, but she felt on edge. If he did find out about the paper for some reason, she knew she was going to be in a lot of trouble. The key was to make sure he didn’t find out about it.

  “I’m sorry, but the baker wasn’t finished with the biscuits when I got there. I had to wait for him to finish them before I could bring them here.”

  She forced a natural smile, and he looked at her harshly.

  “Let’s see it!”

  Her heart thudded in her chest, but she remained calm.

  “See what, Father?”

  “I know you had to be out somewhere besides the baker’s. You were at the library, weren’t you? Give me the book!”

  A feeling of relief swept over her, but she acted completely surprised.

  “No Father! I was waiting for the biscuits! I promise! See?”

  She poured out the basket and showed him the pockets in her cloak. All were empty. Toby looked at her suspiciously, then took the basket from her.

  “Set the table and ladle up the soup. Be quick about it!”

  Amelia hurried to obey, but all she could think about was the paper that was in her boot. She would have to sit her way through dinner, but with any luck at all, Toby would head out to the saloon shortly after.

  That would give her all the time in the world to look over that ad she found, and try to put together a plan.

  Chapter 4 – Making a Move

  Amelia was right.

  Shortly after dinner, Toby headed out, and she was left to clean up and mind the chores all alone. Tonight she didn’t mind, for tonight she had a plan. Get everything done as quickly as possible, then head for her room.

  It wasn’t unusual for Toby to be out late, so Amelia would often lock herself in her room early on in the evening. That way it didn’t matter when he came home, she would already be in her room in bed, and he couldn’t bother her or ask her to do anything for him.

  Tonight I’ll just get the chores done and lock my door as usual, then if he does come home he’ll just think I went to bed early or something. It isn’t like him to want things that late anyway, so now is probably the best time.

  It took Amelia a long time to get through the ad. She couldn’t read well, and some of the words she couldn’t read at all. Amelia did her best, however, and carefully penned a reply. The ad was based out of Texas, looking for a group of brides to make their way down there.

  Amelia didn’t know anyone her age that wasn’t already married, so she decided going alone was going to be her only option. There was no way Toby would let her go if he found out, so the fewer people that knew about it the better. Amelia looked over her letter in reply, and shook her head.

  I sound uneducated and simple. There’s no way one of those cowboys is going to want to marry me! What kind of wife would I be?

  She sat back on her chair and crossed her arms. A small sigh escaped her chest, and she shook her head. That old feeling of despair tried to creep up on her once more, but Amelia squared her shoulders and shrugged it off.

  “Enough is enough. I am not my mother, and I am not going to let Toby control me for the rest of my life!”

  She jumped at the sound of a thud out in the hall. Ap
parently Toby had come home early after all, surprising her. She slowly got up, and silently crept to the door, pressing her ear against the solid oak wood. She could hear Toby’s heavy breathing and heavy footsteps as he made his way up the hall to his room, and Amelia let out a sigh of relief.

  That was too close. I have to be more careful about what I say when I think I’m alone, or I am going to get into some real trouble.

  She blew out the candle on her desk, and slipped into her nightdress. The letter was written, and she could easily hide it in her boot once more, which is what she planned to do first thing in the morning. Toby’s snores were already filling the halls, so Amelia knew she would have some time to herself the next day.

  She closed her eyes.

  If all of this was really coming true, she was going to need her sleep.

  Amelia woke with the house silent. She thought this was odd as Toby’s snoring often carried on well into the morning. She carefully crept out of her rickety bed, and softly walked up the hall to his room. He was asleep on his bed, covered in clothing and blankets.

  Amelia saw her chance. She tossed her petticoat on over her nightdress, and buttoned the front closed, then she slipped her letter into her pocket and grabbed the basket then hurried outside. She prayed with every step she took that Toby wouldn’t awaken before she got back, but there was still a knot in the pit of her stomach.

  She rushed down to the post office and dropped her letter into the slot. She knew it would be mailed later that day, so there was little worry that Toby would find out about it before it was gone and on the road. On her way back to the house, she slipped into the baker’s once more.

  “Good morning Missy.”

  Anita greeted Amelia as she walked in. Anita was the one and only daughter of the baker, and was the kindest soul Amelia had ever met. She smiled and stopped to chat with her friend for a few minutes before she purchased two crumpets.