ExtraNormal

by Suze Reese

  He nodded, his face and emotions leery.

  “But this…you and me…it won’t work.”

  His mood plummeted, which pained me.

  I raced on. Irrationally in need of keeping him from feeling pain. “It’s not what you think. It’s just my parents. Imagine the strictest parents in the whole world, and mine are ten times worse.”

  His jaw stiffened. He looked at me with those intense blue eyes, then looked away.

  “You shouldn’t even be here,” I continued. “I’d get in trouble if my parents found out.”

  “Is it…because of…?” His eyes narrowed. “Do they know…?”

  “No,” I said adamantly. “It’s nothing personal. They don’t even know you exist.” I touched his arm, feeling his confusion. “It’s just boys. All boys.”

  “I see.”

  “Jesse—”

  “So how are we supposed to…?” He swallowed and looked away. “I thought we…”

  “Jesse…I’m sorry.”

  After another awkward silence, he rose to his knees. “I should go.”

  “Please don’t,” I whispered, filled with regret for saying anything that would hurt him. A spray of water hit us both, followed by a burst of laughter from Becca. “Hey you squirt,” I called, with an effort to keep my voice light and good natured. “Keep it in the pool.”

  “I don’t know what’s going on,” he whispered in a husky voice. “I can’t think straight when I’m with you. I just know you’re driving me nuts.”

  I grinned, blinking back tears. “I know exactly how that feels.”

  He leaned close, his hands at his sides. I could feel his sweet breath on my face. I closed my eyes soaking it in—his anger and confusion along with his love.

  Then I felt him walk away. And forced myself to let him go.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  I considered streaming Mom and telling her everything. The potential danger to Jesse increased with every minute we spent together. If the governing council found out about him, they might do more than just wipe his memory. If he knew too much about me he could be one of those humans I’d heard rumors about—who ended up brain dead, living in some long-term care facility. If I told the truth now, then maybe they’d just punish me and leave him out of it.

  But Mom wouldn’t appreciate being pulled home early from her trip. I guessed that maybe she’d go easier on me if I waited until she came home. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking. Either way, I went to bed with the decision that I’d just have to stay away from Jesse until she got home.

  I tried to sleep in the next morning so that I’d miss school. When that didn’t work I decided to fix a large breakfast. But lost my appetite on my way to the kitchen.

  In the end, the force drawing me towards Jesse was stronger than my self control. I missed first period, and managed to avoid Jesse’s gaze when I ran late into choir. I found an empty chair in the back row, where I could study the back of his head. Mr. Chavez was singing with just the boys. I could hear Jesse’s clear tenor voice above the other more timid male voices.

  When Mr. Chavez told the girls to join them, my high F turned heads. And not because of its tone quality.

  Even Mr. Chavez looked up to see the source of the errant noise.

  I was still flush with embarrassment when the room went suddenly dark, as though someone had turned the lights off. Then just as quickly a blinding light flashed in my eyes. The random light show persisted through the remainder of class, though I seemed to be the only one bothered by it.

  When the bell finally rang, I rushed down the carpeted steps, feeling Jesse’s gaze on me. I stumbled when I got to the door and hurried to gym class without looking back. When I stepped into the locker room—usually one of the smelliest rooms in the school—I knew for a fact something was off. There was no sign of dirty socks, flowery soaps, or even female insecurities. The lights overhead flickered. I stumbled forward to my locker.

  Lacey was there, pulling off her shirt. “So I got asked to homecoming.”

  I heard the words but couldn’t process them. I could hardly see to open my locker, or feel what should have been strong emotions from Lacey. She’d been asked to something. A date. “Yeah?” I eventually said. “Who?”

  “Christian. I’ve had a crush on him since…like…forever. But I have to say no. Everett said he’d meet me there.”

  I paused, trying to think past the assault on my senses. When I figured out what Lacey had said, that she was turning down a date for an empty promise from Everett, irrational heat flamed at my cheeks. “That’s stupid!” I blurted. I suspected I was over reacting, being too harsh. But couldn’t seem to control myself. “You can’t refuse an invitation just for Everett! He didn’t even ask you out!”

  “It’s not like that.” Lacey flipped a lock of her curly hair over her shoulder and continued to dress in silence. But she was an emotional blank. I couldn’t sense either anger or excitement. Nothing. It was like not being able to see, or hear. I put my head in my hands and waited on the bench until the locker room was empty.

  A game had already started when I ran into the gym. I remembered from the syllabus it was called volleyball. Mrs. Daines directed me to a position in front of the large net in the center of the room. Everett hit the ball, which came directly towards me. The lights flashed at the same moment that my head reverberated from a loud boom in my ears. The next thing I knew the ball hit me squarely in the face. “Hey watch it!” I stooped under the net, planning to storm towards Everett, my head throbbing with pain.

  “Mira, knock it off.” Lacey pulled on my arm. “He didn’t mean it.”

  I looked at Everett, who appeared to be laughing. Then turned to Lacey, who was clutching my arm. Her face had a strained smile, but I couldn’t sense her. Couldn’t sense anything. Not even the other students nearby, whose faces showed obvious emotion. I covered my face with my hands and ran to the locker room. I changed and found a tree I planned to stay under during lunch, even though it meant going hungry for the second time that day. I needed to keep to myself. And think.

  It was obvious I was having trouble with my electromagnetic field. By why? Could I be sick? Some Earth disease? I’d never been sick before. Maybe this is what it felt like. Or maybe it was my new diet. I should call Mom. She would know. But what if it had something to do with Jesse?

  The Internet wasn’t likely to have information on this particular set of problems, but Centerpole would—though it might be classified. I leaned against the trunk of the tree, and opened a stream to Geery. It fell flat before reaching even a foot out from my head. I shouldn’t have been surprised. In this condition, I’d be lucky to stream with someone sitting next to me. Let alone overworld. There wasn’t any point in trying again.

  A bell rang signaling the end of third period. Doors across campus flew open. Students rushed out of the rooms. I pulled my knees against my chest and wished I were invisible. I watched room number fifteen, just to my right, until Jesse came out. He tossed his head—his hair floated gently around it—and continued in the opposite direction. I wanted to call to him. But stayed still, until the campus quieted once again. I should go home and wait for Mom.

  I even tried to walk off campus, but physically couldn’t bring myself to do it. Whatever force had brought me to school today was going to keep me on campus. I’d just have to keep myself in control until I could figure out what was happening. In English, I noticed the lights dimmed just before I lost my coordination. In calculus I figured out that I could keep the anger under control if I hummed to myself while breathing deeply. I tried to let music play continuously in the back of my mind, but my em-field was too out of control for even that simple task.

  In art history, Jesse paused on his way down the aisle with a morose smile. My fingers moved tentatively in his direction, aching to feel the one sensation I craved more than food. The realization of what I’d lost caused the now-familiar anger to flame at my cheeks. The room went black as night; then just as
quickly became blinding bright. My ears buzzed. Jesse continued down the aisle. Tears pushed against my eyes.

  My janitorial work was even more laborious than usual, with the vacuum now heavy and awkward, and my sense of balance disrupted. At the end of my shift, I felt arms come around me, pinning me against the dumpster. I turned around, surprised to see Jesse. I hadn’t sensed him approaching. And still couldn’t feel a single emotion.

  “Here’s the thing,” he said. “I left yesterday because I can’t stand the thought of getting you in trouble.”

  I swallowed…suddenly blinded. The buzz in my ears almost kept me from hearing him.

  “Staying away from you is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” His breath on my neck was empty…lacking what I yearned for. “But I will, if it’s what’s best for you.” He touched my cheek. “But I don’t want you walking home. Can I at least still drive you?”

  The light lifted enough for me to look into his eyes—though not the brilliant blue I ached to see. I nodded, blinking away tears.

  The car ride home was a festival of sensory changes. Sounds, light, smells, fluctuated from nothing one moment—to intense the next. I gripped the door handle and hummed.

  I thought about dinner with Mom and wondered what she’d make of this. Would she recognize that my em-field was messed up? Probably. She might schedule a transport before I spoke a word.

  “When does your mom leave for work?” Jesse asked. The car had stopped, so I assumed we were at my house.

  “What?” I turned to him, or at least his form.

  “If she leaves before you, I might as well pick you up. It’ll be easier than following you.”

  “You’ve been following me?”

  “Morning isn’t any safer than afternoons.”

  “Jesse…” A loud popping began in my ears. “If I’m ever not…If some time…” I had to warn him of something, but couldn’t find the words. So I just pulled open the door and staggered out of the car.

  It was nearly an hour before I could even walk normally. Or think. Eventually though, I regained enough of my senses to realize that this problem I was having might work to my benefit. Mom might instantly realize I was sick. But if I couldn’t feel emotions, maybe I couldn’t project them either. Maybe Mom wouldn’t be able to recognize anything from me.

  This whole business of being deceptive was new territory for me. And with my emotions so unstable, I had almost no confidence I could pull it off. But there was no point in pretending that I’d just tell Mom the truth and walk away from Jesse. I had to take any chance to stay with him, even if it was grasping. My brain was too fogged to think through every detail. The best I could do was to follow my instincts. And right now they were telling me to make a plan.

  A short time later, while chopping vegetables for dinner, I hummed Geery’s favorite tune: Don’t Worry, Be Happy. It would be a miracle if my plan worked. But if it stood any chance I’d have to remain as calm as I ever had in my life. I hummed the tune and thought about dogs, palm trees, cars…not Jesse’s Taurus…birds, flowers, swimming pools…not Jesse by the pool. I also had to hope that my sporadic senses didn’t cause me to burn myself or slice my finger open.

  At the sound of the front door opening, I gripped the edge of the counter. Then with a deep breath ran my fingers through my hair, pulling my long locks in front of my shoulders—to hide the last traces of bruising. “Hey Mom!” I called. “How was work?”

  Mom dropped onto a chair at the kitchen table, stretched her neck, and launched into a description of a secret meeting Senator Simmons had held with a supposed-Iraqi national who was actually from Greece.

  I nodded, pretended to follow the story, and hummed to myself. Don’t worry. Be happy. My fears that Mom had tried to stream with me during the day were probably unfounded. Mom sounded too wrapped up with work to have given me a thought. For once that notion made me happy. I scooped the sautéed vegetables I’d prepared onto plates.

  “So enough about me,” Mom said. “I’ve been so neglectful of you. Tell me what’s been happening.”

  I took a deep breath, sat down and shrugged. “Nothing really.” I put a slice of squash in my mouth and chewed slowly. Don’t worry…be happy. “It’s been pretty boring around here.”

  Mom put her hand on top of mine. “Is there something bothering you? You seem…unsettled.” I winced, blinded by a flash of light. Apparently stress worsened my symptoms. I pulled my hand away, and tried not to be alarmed. It was the perfect question. I closed my eyes, but the light remained just as intense. “It’s nothing big,” I said. “It’s just…I’ve been afraid to tell you…something.” I swallowed hard, then opened my eyes and looked at Mom’s dark form. “It’s been kind of creepy,” I blurted, reciting the story I’d gone over in my head a hundred times. “Being here by myself so much. So…that little girl next door…you know, Becca? She’s been coming over. She mostly just swims in the backyard.” I couldn’t see Mom’s face, or sense her reaction. I clutched my glass with both hands and gulped the water. The lights flickered, then dimmed. I concentrated on steadying myself. Don’t worry…

  “You have been alone a lot more than I intended,” Mom finally said. “So I don’t see a problem with that. As long as you’re careful.”

  “Good,” I exhaled. Be happy. “Because I want to ask a favor.” I gulped and put down the water glass. “Next Monday is a holiday.”

  “Yes, they call it Labor Day.”

  “Right. So there’s no school.” I picked up my fork and tried to stab a broccoli floret, but my shaking hand was obvious, so I put my hands in my lap. “And I was hoping to take Becca to the beach.”

  “The beach?”

  “Yeah. I really want to go to a beach before it gets too cold. We don’t even know if we’ll be here in the next warm season.” I held my breath.

  “How would you get there?”

  I exhaled again, only slightly relieved. I still couldn’t sense a thing, but Mom hadn’t said no. “We’d take a bus.” The words came rushing out.

  “I got it all mapped out on that computer thingy: the route, the cost, the times.” I hadn’t actually managed to find the specifics. But I had time for all that. “I’ll be really careful,” I added.

  “Wow. You’ve really thought this through.”

  Don’t worry…I inhaled…exhaled. “I really want to go.”

  “All right,” Mom said. “You just promise me you’ll be extra careful.”

  I wasn’t absolutely sure I’d heard correctly. Between the buzzing, my blurred vision, and lack of senses—I wasn’t sure of anything. “Did you say…?”

  “I said you need to be extremely careful.”

  I gasped. Jumped from my seat and threw my arms around her. If Mom could sense my emotions, I was fairly confident she’d only be able to sense happiness, excitement, and a large dose of relief.

  “Mira,” Mom said, clutching my arms. “Is that all?”

  I pulled back from our embrace and stiffened. “All?”

  “Yes. I already knew about Becca. And there are lots of ways to get you to the beach. Are you sure there isn’t something else you’re worried about? Something you don’t want to tell me?”

  I sat back down, unable to hide my alarm. A flash of that stupid, inappropriate anger rushed to my head. I breathed deeply, humming to myself and chewing on a bite of sautéed zucchini. I closed my eyes against the flickering lights.

  “Mira?”

  “It’s…I…” I rocked in my chair, trying to stay calm. “There is something.” I opened my eyes, struggled to make out the expression on my mother’s face. “I took a lunch from home on my first day, like I was supposed to. But the smell of cheeseburgers…it’s just…well…I couldn’t help myself.” I looked away, pushing back my anger and fear. Building up my shame. “I’ve had school lunch every day since then.”

  The blur that I knew was my mother remained motionless. I didn’t dare move.

  Then I heard Mom’s voice, soft and wistful.
“That smell. It is unbelievable.” Mom stood and left the room.

  Rocking to the rhythm of the fluctuating lights, I hummed quietly while my world gyrated out of control.

  When Mom returned, she sat at the table and pulled a small object out of a bag. “Have you ever tried chocolate?”

  I looked from my mother’s blurred image to the small item she held.

  “Food? You eat food?”

  “Not often. Just this really. It’s my one indulgence. You haven’t lived until you’ve tried it.”

  “So…” I studied Mom’s hand until the object came into focus. A small yellow package in the shape of a triangle.

  Mom pulled out something brown.

  “So…you’re not mad?” I asked.

  Mom laughed, amused. “No my girl. I’m not mad. But you do need to use caution. Just a little treat every once in a while is fine. They really can’t expect us to survive strictly on vegetables and seeds when we’re subject to human cravings and hungers.” Mom held out a small piece of the confection. “Do you want to try it?”

  I popped it in my mouth. But apparently my sense of taste was disrupted along with everything else. I smiled and pretended it was as good as Mom had said. When the square had dissolved in my mouth, I licked my lips and took a breath for courage. “What would happen if you eat too much food?”

  “Well, you know there are many long-term effects to poor nutrition. But in the short term you could become very ill.”

  I nodded and licked the last of it off my teeth. “I haven’t been feeling well lately.”

  “That probably explains it. You’d better lay off those cheeseburgers for a while.”

  I was tempted to describe my symptoms further, to see if it really could be the food. But I knew there was at least one other unthinkable thing that caused this particular set of symptoms. And after making it this far, I didn’t want to give Mom any ideas that would cause her to change her mind about the beach.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN