The Fear Within

by J. S. Law

  Dan stood up, readying herself to leave.

  “Well, let’s see,” said Hamilton. “I’m fairly certain we’ll speak again, once you’ve had time to think this all through.”

  Dan walked to the door.

  “Chess set, Danny, for next time?”

  Dan looked at him and then nodded.

  “I ordered one online, should be delivered soon.”

  He smiled.

  “Thank you. I look forward to that very much. Your mail does seem erratic, though, don’t you think? Are you sure it’ll arrive?”

  “Of course,” said Dan. “It’s not likely to go anywhere else.”

  Dan knocked on the door and then turned.

  “You said you’d tell me how Matt Carson found you and what you whispered to him back in the hangar near Aldershot.”

  “I did, Danny, I did. He didn’t find me; I walked in there as soon as you were gone. A little guidance from me and he’d have been a lot more effective, maybe even escaped. Unfortunately, he overreacted before I could really talk to him, and you saw the results when you arrived.”

  Dan nodded.

  “And what did you whisper to him when you did speak?”

  “I told him to kill them all while he still had time,” said Hamilton, smiling, “and I asked him to spare you, or at least kill you last. I like to think that maybe you never saved my life that day after all, maybe it was I who saved you; ironic, don’t you think?”

  Dan looked into his eyes and knew that what he said was true.

  She turned to the glass while she waited for the guard.

  Hamilton was drumming his fingers on the desk.

  “Deuteronomy 24:16,” said Hamilton as the guard arrived at the door. “I really can’t help you any more than to tell you that the Bible is, in this case as in many others, very wrong. Tell no one that I said this to you. As to the rest, say what you like, but keep that to yourself, please, agreed?”

  The door opened.

  “Miss?”

  Dan turned to see the guard waiting for her.

  “Say that again?” she said to Hamilton.

  “We’re done for now, Mr. Darzada,” said Hamilton to the guard, though he was looking straight ahead. “Good-bye, Danny. See you soon. Be safe and keep your hand on your ha’penny, as my mother would never have said, nor done.”

  48

  Thursday, February 5

  “Not overly helpful, then,” said Felicity, still breathless from running down the corridors trying to get there before Dan went in. “Interesting that his language has changed around accepting that there are victims, we’ll keep an ear on that and see if it continues. And thanks for going back in there, I really do appreciate it, though I’d really have liked you to wait; I don’t understand the rush.”

  Roger was silent as he watched them both.

  “There wasn’t a rush, I promise,” said Dan, “Just … once I’d made up my mind to go back in, I didn’t want to wait and risk that I might change it.”

  Felicity nodded.

  “And I believe Roger had some good news for you,” said Felicity.

  Dan turned and looked confused.

  “Roger?” she asked.

  “You haven’t told her?” asked Felicity, reproach in her voice.

  “I’ve been a bit busy,” said Roger, with a pointed smile at Dan. “You’ve been seconded, part-time and in a probationary arrangement only, for now at least, to the NCA to assist in their investigation.”

  Dan watched Roger carefully.

  “We need to make sure you’re safe though, Danny,” he said, reaching for his phone. “That bit about Cox sounds like a threat, and…” Roger’s words faded off and Dan and Felicity both stopped to look at him.

  The implication was that Hamilton’s threats had come off before, that the last time he’d spoken to Dan, he’d admitted to knowing about the attack against her several years before.

  Roger looked away. “I know Hamilton can be full of shit, but he might be right this time,” he continued. “We’ll take some reasonable precautions. I’m going to ask the locals to check your house and the surrounding area and to do stops past it at intervals for the next few days.”

  “Her address is already on the watch list,” said Felicity.

  Dan and Roger turned to look at her.

  “I mean, it should be, we can get it added as soon as possible,” Felicity said, turning to Dan, “so if you dial emergency, they’ll know it’s to be taken very seriously and they’ll be there in a flash.”

  Dan paused for a while, thinking, before she looked from one to the other.

  “Maybe one of you could move in and drive me to work and pick me up and bring me home again? Being an adult’s a real drag.”

  Roger laughed, but Felicity just scrunched up her nose and whispered, “Quit your bellyaching” slowly and quietly, overenunciating each word.

  “Well, we need to do things right,” said Roger, “but we also need a proper strategy if Dan’s going to be speaking to Hamilton again. Having no audio isn’t going to work forever, it was a power play by Hamilton and his legal representative, but we all need to know what he’s saying.”

  “He’ll never agree to that,” said Dan.

  “Can’t we get a judge to order it?” asked Roger.

  Felicity frowned, thinking. “I doubt it. Well, I mean, yes, we could, but I doubt we could do it without Hamilton’s legal team knowing, because although he clearly wanted to speak to you, Danny, he agreed only to do it under this framework, and I doubt we can break that and record what he says in case he then incriminates himself. I’ll run it past legal and see, but I’m not hopeful.”

  “Okay,” said Roger, “but I’m not happy for this to continue in its current form, I’m stating that now.” He turned toward Dan. “I assume you’re going to accept the liaison place on the NCA investigation?”

  Roger and Felicity both looked at her now, and the way they were standing, with Roger next to Felicity and both of them facing her, Dan felt as if she was looking up at expectant parents, as if they were waiting for an answer and they both knew what the right one was but were unsure whether she did.

  “I’ll talk to you about it tomorrow,” said Dan.

  She grabbed her bag and coat and looked at them; they were both still watching.

  “We have three cars and we’re all going in roughly the same direction,” said Dan. “So, not great for the environment, but I’m out of here. You two walking out?”

  “I’m going to chat with some folks I know here,” said Felicity.

  “I’ll come,” said Roger, grabbing his jacket and walking to the door.

  Dan leaned in and gave Felicity a kiss on each cheek before joining Roger.

  They walked in silence along the corridor for a few paces before Dan turned.

  “Wait here for me,” she said to Roger, turning back into the room and shutting the door behind her.

  Felicity looked up, surprised.

  “He mentioned the parcels again,” said Dan. “Asked me if I knew who they were being delivered to. You have any luck with that?”

  Felicity shook her head.

  “Odd,” said Dan. “I’d have thought that’d be easy to find out.”

  Felicity stood straight and looked Dan in the eye but said nothing.

  Dan watched her friend and knew she had finally seen.

  “You lied to me,” said Dan. “You lied right to my face, and more than once.”

  “We’re professionals, Danny, you know it and I know it. I’d tell you anything I could, I’d do anything I’m able to do to protect you, but I wasn’t cleared to tell you, and so I didn’t. It’s not lying, it’s professional conduct, and you’d have done the same.”

  Dan was taken aback by the response, the lack of apology, the truth in what Felicity said.

  “Tell me now, then,” asked Dan. “Is it just the parcels, or has he been sending other stuff to me?”

  Felicity swallowed.

  “The finge
rs of those women were sent to your home address,” Felicity said. “The first one was picked up when it leaked and triggered a biological contamination investigation. We intercepted all of your mail after that, but had no reason that would allow us to open anything other than the subsequent parcels.”

  “That’s why you wanted to read the letter,” said Dan.

  Felicity nodded.

  “Do you know why he’s having someone send them to me?” Dan asked.

  Felicity shook her head.

  “We’re hoping that’ll come from your contact with him.”

  “And that’s why my house is on the watch list?”

  “It is,” confirmed Felicity.

  “If I had known…” she began.

  “If you had known, then he might have been bored with you and stopped speaking to you a long time ago. This seems to be as much about playing games for him as anything else. Now, though, you do know. I can’t apologize, and you should know that I fully supported the decision not to tell you, but does it change anything about what he’s said so far? Could we go over the notes and see if it jogs anything?”

  Dan thought about what Hamilton had said, what he seemed to know, that there was an intruder in her crime, someone who shouldn’t be there.

  None of it made any sense.

  She shook her head and turned to leave.

  “See you tomorrow?” Felicity asked.

  Dan nodded, leaving the room and seeing Roger frown as he waited.

  They walked out in silence, following the guard who led them through doors and along corridors until finally they handed in their passes at the visitor desk and left the prison.

  “I think you should join the investigation team,” said Roger, not looking at her, just speaking out into the air, as though he’d been certain she was thinking about it anyway. “I don’t know why you’re even pretending you might need to think about it. It’s exactly where you want to be. Unless that’s what you were speaking to Felicity about?”

  “I don’t know where I want to be,” said Dan, ignoring his second question. “It’s always black-and-white for you, but I don’t know if I want to stay in the environment we’re in. Where petty assholes like Harrow-Brown can make the wrong decision based solely on a personal grudge. I don’t know if I want to work the way we do, with our hierarchy and structure.”

  Roger snorted.

  Dan clenched her jaw. The sound irritated her.

  “Like you ever give a crap about the hierarchy and structure,” he said, pushing Danny on the shoulder, chiding her and trying to be playful.

  She shook her head.

  “You know what I mean, Roger.”

  “I do,” he grumbled. “But look at it this way. Do the liaison role. Work with the civvies for a while. Get away from the navy for a few weeks or months and think it through, okay? Don’t walk away because of Harrow-Brown. The man’s a dick, we both know it, don’t let him decide your future. He’ll never act in your best interests.”

  “Yeah, you’re right,” said Dan, feeling herself relax.

  “But, Danny, neither will he,” said Roger, pointing back into the prison as though they could still see Christopher Hamilton.

  “I know,” said Dan.

  “What did he say right at the end?” asked Roger. “When you were at the door about to leave, it looked like he spoke, but he was facing away from the camera.”

  Dan shook her head.

  “Just the usual crap,” she said, shrugging. “See you soon, Danny, bring a chess set…”

  He watched her and then smiled.

  “He usually looks at you when he says that stuff.”

  Roger fumbled in his pockets.

  “Did you see my notebook in the room before we left?” he asked.

  “No.”

  “Bollocks,” he said, checking his jacket pocket. “I need to go back in and find it. I’m staying down in Portsmouth tonight, so I’ll see you tomorrow. Where’s your car?”

  Dan pointed to it across the parking lot.

  “Okay, be careful, take precautions.”

  “Yes, Dad,” said Dan, shaking her head, but not really angry.

  He leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek.

  Dan tensed up, not reacting quickly enough to return the unexpected gesture.

  “Drive safe,” he said, and turned back toward the prison entrance.

  Dan watched him go, thinking about what he’d said and then walking to her car.

  It was dark now, but the lights were all on and the parking lot was well lit.

  Dan knew there were cameras all around the place and she walked slowly, rummaging in her bag for her phone and turning it on.

  The screen flashed into life and she pulled up a Web browser as she walked, typing in “Deuteronomy 24:16” as she did. The search came back quickly and Dan selected the top result and read it:

  The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, neither shall the children be put to death for the fathers: every man shall be put to death for his own sin.

  She read it again and again.

  Hamilton had said the Bible was wrong, but as she read it, she couldn’t make sense of it at all. Then she stopped and thought.

  The Bible was wrong …

  She read the line again and remembered the card that had dropped through her door, tried to remember if there’d only been one of them or whether she’d shredded more than one with the junk mail.

  “The sins of the father will be visited upon the children,” she whispered, unsure where she’d heard that before, or why it’d come to her.

  She stared at the screen as a text message arrived. She opened it, to see that it was informing her of a missed call from her dad.

  Hamilton had said she was selfish, self-centered, needed to wake up and look around.

  Jimmy Nash knew her father.

  Marcus knew her father.

  But that meant nothing, they were Royal Marines, it was a small corps, reasonable that they would know one another.

  Then Hamilton said that things were linked, joined, that she was too selfish to see it. Could it be that the thing that bound them all wasn’t her, but her dad?

  She thought about Ryan Taylor and Tenacity, could think of no link between them and her father at all. She thought of Roger’s warning about how Hamilton only served himself. Perhaps sowing seeds of doubt about her father was just a way of screwing with her, trying to see if he could confuse her. But then Jimmy Nash’s closing words echoed in her mind.

  “I’ve got nothing at all on your old dad.”

  Dan considered Jimmy Nash, the man who knew her father, the man who could grab a rapist from a naval base before the police could get their act together and get there. A man with organized crime links across the south coast and into London. A man who made his living through intimidation, illegality, and drugs, who confined and tortured people, who’d said he might do that to someone like Ryan Taylor. A man who knew her father and claimed to have nothing on him.

  Dan stopped, thinking quickly. She needed to go and speak to Hamilton again, but she knew it wouldn’t be possible now. She needed more information than she had, more guidance, more of a nudge.

  She didn’t know where to start, but then she thought again about what Hamilton had said. If it was all connected, then whichever lead she followed would lead her to where she wanted to go.

  Sarah Cox—where would she go?

  Dan’s mind flitted to her house, how she’d felt as though she were being watched there, that feeling when you look around to see who’s there and there’s no one. She couldn’t believe Cox would go there now. It was too secure, and if she’d been to look, she’d know it. She’d have to take Dan in the parking lot, and then what? She’d know that the police would be around. It made no sense.

  Hamilton had said, “Somewhere she thinks you’d definitely never go. I genuinely don’t know where that might be, but she’ll have her own ideas.”

  Dan thought about that, and only on
e place came to mind that Cox might think she’d never go again.

  The conversation they’d had in her cabin when they’d first met, when Cox had congratulated her on catching Simmons and asked her about the shop.

  Cox had talked about how remote it was, how awful and secluded.

  “I’d never go back there,” Dan had said to her.

  She opened her car and got in, thinking about Hamilton and how he’d pushed her so far, pretending to know things when he didn’t, pretending not to know things that he did. She wondered at the difference between being helped and being manipulated, but she’d only go to look, to prove to herself that Hamilton was wrong and maybe, as Roger had said outside the tunnels, to face down that fear. She started the car and headed for the abandoned shop in the New Forest.

  49

  Thursday, February 5

  All was in darkness, and though Dan had a flashlight and desperately wanted to use it, she braced herself for the dark and stepped into it.

  She didn’t have to do it, didn’t have to go in there, not now, not again, not alone, but she needed to. To prove to herself that Hamilton wasn’t right, didn’t know everything, hadn’t guessed where Cox would be when Dan couldn’t.

  She walked toward the door that led to the shop’s storeroom, shivered again as she thought of David Simmons dragging Evelyn in there, almost killing her. Dan listened outside the door, but there was nothing, no car, no light, no sign of life. She could turn around now, walk back down the dark lane to her own car, and drive home; she’d been here, returned to the building and faced the darkness, and she could go now. Except she would have done it all for nothing. Without looking inside the shop, without checking that Cox really wasn’t there, it would all have been for naught.

  The memories of when she’d last done this, while Simmons was up on the roof threatening to kill his wife, who was trussed up below, gave Dan a sense of what she would see once she opened the door.

  She flashed her light on quickly once inside, shone it straight at the far door that led to the front shop area. The door was shut, and so she switched it on again and scanned the storeroom. Nothing had changed and it was empty. No signs of life.