Surrender to the Past

by Carole Mortimer

  ‘And whose fault is that?’

  ‘My own,’ Mia accepted heavily. ‘But at the time I felt I had no other choice but to distance myself from—from all of you.’

  ‘And now?’

  She shrugged. ‘Now you’re married to my father and Ethan is CEO of his company!’

  ‘I happen to love your father.’ The older woman looked at her steadily. ‘As for Ethan—do you think this was all he ever wanted to do with his life?’ Impatience underscored Grace’s tone. ‘That he never had any ambitions of his own?’ She shook her head. ‘Look at him, Mia—really look at my son—and then tell me if you think Ethan is truly a man whose only ambition was to run another man’s company for him!’

  Mia had been deeply in love with the fun-loving and passionate Ethan she had known five years ago, but she wasn’t sure what to make of the Ethan he was now …

  ‘As you’ve already made it clear you don’t intend to stay here for long, I have nothing to lose by speaking plainly,’ the older woman continued briskly.

  Mia stiffened. ‘No.’

  Grace gave a rueful smile. ‘It might be easier to do if you didn’t look quite so much like William!’ She gave a self-derisive shake of her head.

  ‘Like …? You’re wrong.’ Mia shook her head. ‘I’ve always looked far more like my mother than my father.’

  ‘In your colouring, perhaps,’ Grace allowed. ‘But the rest of you is definitely all William. And I’ve never been able to stay angry with him for very long, either.’ She looked at Mia searchingly. ‘You genuinely have no idea what your leaving in that way five years ago did—to William, to Ethan, to this whole family—do you?’

  ‘Maybe not, but I do know that you and Ethan should be thanking me for leaving the way clear for you both to move into my father’s life rather criticising me for going!’ Mia came back abruptly.

  Grace gave an exasperated smile. ‘I believe William should have spanked your bottom more often when you were a child.’

  ‘He didn’t spank me at all!’

  ‘Then perhaps he should have done,’ Grace murmured dryly. ‘I’m truly surprised that Ethan hasn’t tried to shake or kiss some sense into you this past few days, at least!’

  ‘He’s already tried doing both those things—obviously they failed!’ Mia drawled dryly.

  Grace eyed her speculatively. ‘Interesting …’

  ‘In what way?’

  The older woman gave a brief shrug. ‘Forgive me for saying so, Mia, but I was under the impression that you were in love with Ethan five years ago …’

  ‘No, I most certainly don’t forgive you!’ Mia bristled, humiliated colour darkening her cheeks at the obvious transparency of her youthful emotion. ‘And I am not that naive and trusting fool any longer!’

  The older woman continued to look at her for several long seconds, before giving a sad grimace. ‘You may have the men in this family jumping through emotional hoops, Mia, but I should warn you I have no intention of doing the same. Not only because I don’t feel I have anything to apologise for, but also because I don’t believe it’s good for you,’ she added chidingly. ‘In other words, it really is time you opened your eyes to the truth that has always been right under your nose if you cared to look for it!’

  CHAPTER TEN

  ‘HAVING trouble sleeping …?’

  Mia didn’t know whether to be irritated or just accepting when Ethan interrupted her as she sat still and quiet in the darkness on the terrace that looked down towards the welcoming glow of Cannes on the horizon.

  The conversation earlier, as the four of them sat in the comfort of the sitting room drinking tea together, had been as politely stilted as Mia had suspected it might be: the comfort of their flight over, the weather tomorrow, the possibility of having lunch at one of the local restaurants. Mia wasn’t even sure she would still be here by lunchtime tomorrow!

  By the time Grace had suggested they all have an early night and wake refreshed in the morning, Mia’s nerves had been so strung out she had been the first to get to her feet and excuse herself. Only then to learn that she was to occupy the same bedroom she always had.

  Ten minutes alone in the girlish familiarity of that bedroom, along with all its childhood memories, and Mia had known she had to get out of there. If only so that she could breathe easily again.

  ‘Okay if I join you …?’

  She looked up at Ethan. His face was in shadow, only the glittering intensity of his gaze visible in the moonlight, and the villa behind them was in complete darkness—evidence that William and Grace had at least taken advantage of the early night and were trying to sleep.

  ‘Why not?’

  Ethan folded his long length down into the seat beside hers.

  ‘Are you okay?’

  Was she okay? Seeing her father again, witnessing the warmth between him and Grace, along with all the past memories crowding in on her—no, Mia wasn’t okay!

  ‘Not really,’ she understated.

  ‘Give it time, Mia.’ Ethan offered her the same advice his mother had given him earlier, knowing that this evening, being with William again under such awkward circumstances, had been very hard on Mia.

  Hard on all of them, in fact. His mother gave the appearance of being her usual charming self, but nevertheless Ethan had sensed the tension beneath that outer calm. William, a man Ethan had always admired for his decisiveness, had seemed to be walking on eggshells every time he so much as spoke to Mia, while all the time his gaze devoured her, as if he still couldn’t believe she was really here.

  As for Mia …

  The strain of being here, of seeing her father again, had been palpable—so much so that by the time she’d excused herself and gone upstairs to her room her face had been deathly pale, with dark and haunted shadows beneath her eyes.

  Ethan had been sitting downstairs in the darkness of the sitting room, his mother and William having gone up to their own room only a few minutes after Mia, when he’d seen Mia moving quietly past the open doorway.

  Seconds later the back door of the villa had softly opened and then closed again. For a few brief seconds Ethan had wondered if history was about to repeat itself, and she was leaving without telling any of them she was going, until he’d realised that she didn’t have her small overnight bag with her.

  Which was little comfort when his mother had informed him that Mia had said she might be leaving tomorrow …

  She drew in a ragged breath. ‘Ethan, I’m pleased that my father has recovered so well from his heart attack. I’m even … content to accept that he and your mother are obviously happy together.’

  ‘Are you?’ he growled sceptically.

  Strangely, she was, Mia acknowledged. That brief, straight-talking conversation in the kitchen with Grace had reminded her of why she had once liked the older woman so much. It had also made her realise that the shock and resentment she had felt five years ago, when she’d first learnt of Grace’s relationship with William, had been more on her mother’s behalf than her own.

  Just this past few hours in their company, witnessing the love that obviously flowed between William and Grace, had forced Mia to see that she had really had no idea of the dynamics of her own parents’ marriage, let alone the reasons for William’s relationship with Grace Black. No matter what the reasons might have been for that relationship initially, it had obviously endured.

  Besides which, nothing that Mia or anyone else said, or did, was ever going to bring her mother back …

  ‘Yes,’ she answered firmly. ‘Which in no way changes my plans to return to England tomorrow.’

  Ethan drew in a frustrated breath. Damn it, he had been hoping for so much more from this visit than Mia’s acceptance of their parents’ marriage. He had hoped—

  ‘Your mother and I had an … interesting conversation earlier …’

  Ethan instantly looked guarded. ‘Oh?’

  Mia looked at him searchingly for several minutes before nodding. ‘She said that it was nev
er your ambition to run another man’s company for him …?’

  Ethan looked at her from between narrowed lids, cursing the lack of light by which to read her expression, not knowing if she was just asking these questions out of perverse feminine curiosity or a real need to know.

  He gave a hard smile. ‘At which point you no doubt assured her that you knew better? That being CEO of Burton Industries was exactly what I’ve always wanted?’

  Mia grimaced. ‘I always thought so, yes …’

  Ethan moved restlessly to his feet. ‘Isn’t it a little late in the day for you to start doubting yourself, Mia?’

  It probably was …

  And yet being with Ethan again made a part of Mia hunger to have been wrong about him all these years.

  Her eyes had adjusted enough to the darkness now to take in how long and lean he looked, still wearing the clothes he had traveled over in—that grey polo-shirt fitting snugly over the tautness of his chest and stomach, the short sleeves revealing deeply muscled arms. And he smelt wonderful too—just a hint of lingering aftershave and lots of hot, lethally decadent male …!

  Mia’s mouth felt dry, and she moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue before attempting to speak. ‘I don’t know—is it?’

  Ethan moved to stand beside the concrete balustrade, his face turned away from her, making it impossible to read his expression. ‘I doubt you would believe me if I were to tell you I only ever intended to stay in the public sector for a few years, before eventually teaching Economics.’

  ‘You wanted to teach?’ There was no way Mia could keep the incredulity out of her voice.

  ‘I said you wouldn’t believe me …’ A derisive smile curved Ethan’s lips as he glanced back at her.

  It wasn’t so much that Mia didn’t believe him, more a case of it just never having occurred to her …

  But she thought about it now, remembering how often she had needed Ethan to explain things to her during that first awful year of taking Economics at university five years ago, and how he would do so in such a way that she actually understood what the university professors had often seemed to make totally incomprehensible.

  But could she really see Ethan as a teacher …? His mother had not only been headmistress of Southlands School, but also an excellent teacher of Latin to the sixth-formers.

  ‘It’s in the blood, after all,’ Ethan drawled as he seemed to read some of Mia’s thoughts.

  Yes, it was—maybe five years ago, before Ethan had begun to rise in the hierarchy of Burton Industries, before those years had made him into the forceful and powerful man he was today.

  She gave a slow shake of her head. ‘If you had your time over again—’

  ‘I would make exactly the same choices,’ Ethan bit out tautly, knowing that his loyalty and affection for William were such there were no other choices.

  ‘I see.’

  ‘Do you?’ He looked at her searchingly.

  She was beginning to, yes … ‘Did my … leaving so suddenly have any effect on your decision?’

  Ethan became even more guarded. ‘Why do you want to know?’

  ‘Possibly because I’m never going to start understanding any of this if people don’t start giving me answers to my questions.’

  ‘Look on the positive side—I would never have been able to afford my car on a teacher’s salary!’

  ‘Ethan—’

  ‘Let’s just leave it, hmm, Mia? It sounds as if my mother has already told you enough for one evening.’

  ‘Maybe that’s because your mother, at least, has decided to stop treating me like a child?’ Mia snapped in frustration.

  ‘Is that what you really want, Mia?’ Ethan strode forcefully across the terrace to stand directly in front of her. ‘For us all to stop treating you like a child? For me to stop …?’

  ‘Yes!’

  ‘Are you sure you’re ready for what might happen next?’

  Mia looked up at him in the darkness, knowing Ethan was talking about something completely different from her. She was so very aware of him now, and of the stillness of the night that surrounded them like a cocoon. A time out of time. Where nothing else mattered but Ethan and Mia. No past. No present. Certainly no future …

  ‘I’m ready, Ethan …’ she breathed huskily.

  He gave a shake of his head. ‘And tomorrow? What happens then?’

  Mia fingertips over his lips cut off his next question. ‘Stop talking so much, Ethan, and just kiss me!’

  ‘Not until I’m completely sure you know exactly what you’re asking.’ He still held back.

  At this moment in time, here and now, Mia knew exactly what she needed—what she wanted. It was all summed up in one word. Ethan.

  She placed one of her hands against his chest. The increase of his heartbeat was evidence that he found her proximity as disturbing as she found his. Ethan felt very warm and solid as she held his gaze and let both her hands move up his chest and over his shoulders, allowing her fingers to become enmeshed in the dark hair at his nape as she moved up on her tiptoes to place her lips gently against his.

  It was like a dam bursting. Ethan’s arms moved fiercely about her as he deepened the kiss, and Mia was only too willing to return that heat, so hungry for the taste and feel of him.

  Ethan kissed Mia with a fervour that quickly bordered on being out of control as he all but devoured the heady taste of her lips and mouth. He curved her body into his, pressed her breasts against his lower chest, and the heat of her thighs fitted snugly against his when his hands curled about her bottom to pull her in tight against them.

  He broke the kiss only so that he could run his lips across Mia’s arched throat. The softness of her skin tasted of some rich and exotic delight, and the ragged sound of her breathing was an erotic rasp, making Ethan ache with need.

  ‘Dear God, Mia …!’ Ethan breathed harshly as he raised his head to look down at the flushed beauty of her face in the moonlight, able to see the dark and hungry passion in her eyes and her full and swollen lips.

  His gaze lowered to the swell of her breasts, clearly outlined against the soft wool of her top, the nipples hard and tempting. Too tempting for Ethan to resist as he pushed her sweater aside, before slowly lowering his head to brush his mouth against one sensitive tip, at the same time as his hand cupped her other breast and the soft pad of his thumb caressed its twin.

  Encouraged by Mia’s throaty groans of pleasure, he rolled her nipple between thumb and finger. Her own fingers were becoming entangled in his hair as she held him to her.

  It wasn’t enough—would it ever be enough with this particular woman? Would Ethan ever manage to get Mia out of his system? Out of his—

  ‘Don’t stop now, Ethan!’ Mia whispered as she sensed his distraction.

  He had to stop! Knew that he should never have started this in the first place. Not now—not here! Where Mia’s father or his own mother, perhaps also unable to sleep, might walk outside at any moment and find the two of them together.

  ‘I think you should go to bed, Mia.’ He straightened her sweater before curling his fingers about her upper arms, a nerve pulsing in his tightly clenched jaw as he pushed her firmly away from him. ‘Alone!’

  ‘Ethan—’

  ‘Believe me—you would regret this in the morning!’

  Mia was breathing hard as she looked up at him in the darkness, humiliated colour heating her cheeks as he looked down at her so dispassionately. That humiliation instantly turned to anger and she wrenched out of his grasp to glare up at him. ‘How can you be so cold? So unfeeling?’

  ‘Or not,’ he drawled dryly.

  Mia gave him one last glowering glance before turning on her heel to run back inside the villa, closing the door decisively behind her.

  Ethan watched her leave, jaw tight and his hands clenched at his sides as he fought against the desire still pounding through his body. Against the deep and primitive hunger he felt to make love to Mia until she screamed for mercy.
<
br />   Fought it and lost …!

  Mia had barely entered her bedroom and switched on the bedside lamp, closing the door behind her, before it was thrust open again with such force that it crashed back against the wall.

  ‘Ethan!’ she exclaimed, her eyes wide as she looked across at him where he stood silhouetted in the open doorway.

  ‘Yes,’ he ground out as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.

  She swallowed hard. ‘I—What do you want?’

  He gave a humourless smile, his narrowed gaze glittering the colour of silver in the lamplight as he moved slowly across the room. ‘I think it’s time I showed you just how cold and unfeeling I’m not feeling right now!’

  Mia’s eyes widened even further as she watched Ethan’s hands move to the bottom of his T-shirt before he lifted it up and pulled it completely over his head. He threw it down onto the carpeted floor, and her breath caught in her throat and her pulse thundered loudly in her ears as she looked at the broad expanse of his naked chest and muscled shoulders.

  ‘Ethan, what are you doing?’ she gasped breathlessly.

  ‘What does it look like I’m doing?’ He sat on the side of her bed to remove first his shoes and then his socks, before standing up again to unfasten the button on his jeans.

  It looked as if Ethan was completely naked …!

  ‘Is this cold and unfeeling enough for you?’

  Five years ago Mia had thought Ethan was the most beautiful man alive, and as she looked at him now, standing with his legs slightly apart, his expression one of pure challenge, she knew it was true. A lot of men would have felt vulnerable at being so physically exposed, but not Ethan. And why should he, when his naked body bore all the perfection of a sculpture only a master in the art could have produced? Firmly muscled and yet so gracefully male, every inch of him was hard. Every single inch of him …!

  Mia found herself unable to tear her gaze away from the jut of Ethan’s arousal. ‘What happens now, Ethan?’ Her voice was so gruff with her own arousal that she could barely speak at all.

  ‘I think that’s for you to decide, don’t you …?’