Rock Her Hard: An Alpha Male Rockstar Romance (Rock Her Series Book 1)

by Alyson Hale

  After looking all over the damn room, I reason that Jace must be lying on top of them or they’re tucked under the mattress. He receives my iciest glare, but he just grins and waits for me to come over to him.

  I hold out my hand. “Hand them over.”

  “Not a chance.” My eyes narrow, and he continues, “Not until you tell me why you need to run off after the best night of my life without even waking me to say goodbye.”

  Pain flickers in his eyes for only a split second, making guilt sear through my chest. I drop my hand and clear my throat, messing with my hair and feeling very conscious of the fact that my top half is still completely naked.

  “I…”

  “Come here.” Jace scoots over in the bed to give me enough room to sit down beside him. I take a seat and cover my chest with the comforter.

  Breathing out a deep sigh, I explain, “Look…I know there can never be anything permanent between us. You’re Jace Hawthorne. I’m just a waitress from a pub you inexplicably took a liking to during your time in Covington. This thing between us is over now that we’ve fucked, so I figured I’d spare us both the trouble of the awkward goodbye.” I shrug. “That’s all.”

  His eyebrows pull together. “Why can’t there be anything permanent between us? Are you set on staying in Covington your entire life? Is that it?”

  “Well…no, not really.” I fidget with the feathers in the soft down comforter through the covering. My gaze drops to the bed.

  “Then what’s the problem?” I feel a warm hand on my exposed shoulder and look up into his searching eyes. “Do you really not want to see me again?”

  Swallowing hard, I force my poker face on. Lying to him is all shades of wrong, but it’s obvious he’s not going to let me go unless I lie. “No, I don’t. I told you last night this is casual. If all you’re going to do is keep pushing me for something you know can’t happen, I don’t want to see you again.”

  “I know you’re lying to me.” His eyes darken into a deep brown and his brows come down to shadow them. “You want this just as much as I do, you just won’t admit it. People don’t have a night like that without having feelings for each other. It just doesn’t happen. Believe me, I know.”

  “What’s that’s supposed to mean?” My muscles stiffen, and I jerk away from him.

  Jace sighs and takes his hand away from me to rub the back of his neck. “It just means I’ve been with a lot of women over the past few years. I’m not proud of it, but it taught me one thing: nothing is ever going to come close to what I just had with you.”

  Tears burn the backs of my eyes. It shouldn’t bother me to hear confirmation of what I thought about him—that he’s been with a lot of women—but it does. It just makes me feel that much more inadequate. I’m never going to feel like enough for anyone. It’s not because of him, it’s because I just don’t see myself as being equal to all those other women. Not in the slightest. I’m a chubby, freckled small-town book nerd with daddy issues and a rundown car. He shouldn’t be with me, and he’s going to realize that eventually even if he’s thinking with his dick right now.

  No matter what he says, it’s never going to fix me. It’s only going to make things worse. I’m broken, like a shattered wine glass on the floor, and I’m never going to be put back together again without looking a mess. If Jace Hawthorne can’t do it, no one can. I need to just get out of here and try to get back to my book boyfriends. They’re never going to leave me or betray me. I’m safe with only them and my writing dreams.

  “Give me my shirt and bra, please.” I hold out my hand, keeping my stoic face painted on. Jace turns reluctantly and digs in the pillowcase to pull them out, then hands them to me with the most depressing look of disappointment on his face. I rush to dress myself and gather my other belongings from the room.

  Without even waiting for him to get up or get dressed, I head to the door. “Goodbye, Jace. Thanks for everything.”

  I haven’t even made it to the elevator yet when a tear breaks free of my hold.

  Chapter 14

  Jace

  Falling back on the bed, I drag my palms down over my face and grunt out a sigh.

  Bloody hell. I picked a really fucked up girl to fall head over heels in love with.

  She can’t even say a proper goodbye to me without running off. It’s clear Rick messed her up even more than I knew. There’s something inside her that’s keeping her from being capable of having a real relationship. It’s something I may not be able to fix, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop trying. She’s the one I’ve been unconsciously searching for my whole life. I know it. I’ve gone completely insane in the course of one week, and only a woman who’s truly one in a million could have made me do that.

  She thinks I’m going to stop pursuing her now that she’s told me a firm goodbye, but she couldn’t be more wrong. Now my resolve is stronger than ever.

  I roll out of the bed and snatch my clothes off the floor. Pain hits my chest when I realize my clothes still smell like her lavender and vanilla. She left more than just her scent behind, she left a sickness in my heart, and there’s no cure except for finding her again and convincing her not to give up on us.

  After getting dressed and checking out of the hotel, I call a cab and head back toward the campsite, feeling the chill of defeat settling into my bones. Next time I find her, I’m going to have to be more subtle than just showing up at her house. She’ll be expecting that. I need to figure out where she’s going next weekend somehow. The only connection I have to her since she still won’t give me any contact information is the pub. Maybe one of the waitresses will have heard of her plans.

  Rick interrupts my crazy thoughts by calling me. I grit my teeth and answer, willing myself not to say anything moronic.

  “Hey, Rick. What’s going on?” My tone is flat.

  “Hey, Jace! Where have you been?”

  “I was out in town overnight.” Cringing, I beg him inwardly not to ask me who with.

  Cheerfulness enters his voice. “Oh, really? Did you see Kyri?”

  “I’d rather not discuss it.”

  “Oh, so…it went that badly?”

  Sweat breaks out on my forehead. “Like I said, no comment.” One thing I’ve learned from dealing with paparazzi for the past few years is how to shut down questions. Paparazzi are rock bottom on the list of people I like. Rick is one bad move away from taking their place. “I’m on my way back to the campsite now, so you won’t have to wait much longer on me.”

  “Good. Say, I was thinkin’, an American tour actually isn’t a bad idea. Did you happen to do any location scouting while you were in Atlanta?”

  “Actually, yes, I did. There are some great venues in the area.”

  “Awesome.” Rick’s chuckle sounds over the phone. My jaw clenches. I wish punches could be transmitted over cell data. “We can talk about it more when you get back. I’ll let you go.”

  “Talk to you later.” I hang up the phone, feeling several emotions warring inside of me. What I told Kyri ended up being true. We really might be starting another tour here in Atlanta someday soon. If that’s the case, I’ll have plenty of time to win her over before I go on the road again, and I might even be able to convince her to travel with me.

  Having the same woman waiting naked in my trailer every night is an extremely appealing thought. It consumes my mind as I watch buildings pass by in the cab.

  I wish she’d just give me a chance to explain myself to her. If I could just show her how much I want her, how much I need her to breathe, I don’t think there’d be a single doubt in her mind. Never did I think it was possible to fall in love at first sight, but this comes pretty damn close. The intensity of what I feel for her is not something that had to develop over time. It happened instantaneously.

  When I arrive at the campsite, my mates are getting started on breakfast. Sausages again. It makes me wonder if these men have some self-confidence issues about their “meat.”

  A gr
in tugs at my lips as I walk up to the George Foreman. Who wouldn’t have confidence issues standing next to me?

  The truth is I’m taller than all these men, and I’m the lead singer, which automatically gave me an advantage with the ladies on tour. They all listen to me because I’m the oldest of the group and have the most experience. It’s clear who runs this place. I don’t blame them for feeling like they have something to prove.

  Eddie walks over to me and thumps me on the back. His mouth is twisted into a wicked grin. “Got some action last night, did you?”

  I give him a dramatic roll of the eyes. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

  “Oh…that bad, huh?” There’s a spark of hope in his eyes. It would comfort him to know I made a right mess of sex, just once, but I’m not going to let him have that victory.

  “The sex was incredible. This morning was not. She tried to leave without saying goodbye.”

  “Oh, so you’re saying she pulled a Damien on you.” Eddie glances over at Damien as he monitors the sausages on the grill. Damien doesn’t even look up as he flips him the bird.

  “Yes…playing hard to get, this one is. I can’t stop thinking about her.”

  Eddie raises an eyebrow at me. “Shit…I’ve never seen you tied up in knots like this. Do you have feelings for this girl?”

  My right eye twitches. “Like I said, I’d rather not talk about it.” I fall into a folding chair beside Damien and glare at the grill, feeling like I have several burning coals in my chest.

  I know she has feelings for me. There’s no way she doesn’t. Our connection was too real to be imagined, and I’m going to find a way to convince her of that before I have to go away again.

  Weariness comes over me at the thought of touring again so soon. Americans love our music, so I don’t mind coming here as a good publicity maneuver, but it’s going to be tedious resuming the lifestyle again. I’ve done so many drugs I feel like I’ve lost half my mental capacities. The reason I did it was just because everything was becoming so dull. Rehearsals, sound checks, signing autographs…it was thrilling at first, but the novelty has worn off and now it all feels like a chore. The only thing that makes me come alive is stepping on the stage and performing, but after that’s over, I need something to keep up the high or I’ll crash into a deep depression. It’s an addictive high, more addictive than any drug or substance on the planet.

  I’ve been sober for the past few weeks. I don’t want to plunge into that state again, depending on a high to keep up my will to live. Kyri could be my salvation if only she’d let me close to her. The feeling of being tangled up in her is more thrilling than any other high in the world.

  “They’re ready, boys.” We all hold out foam plates to Damien, and he gives us our sausage and eggs.

  Rick materializes out of his trailer and joins us. While we’re eating, he announces that we’re going to be starting a tour here in six months.

  “Six months should give you plenty of time to relax and build up your strength again before it starts,” he explains. “We’re going to have to find a different living situation for the time being. I’m already lookin’ into some houses and flats for rent.”

  The other men simply nod and return to chomping down on their breakfast. I’m surprised no protests have arisen. They don’t seem to care about returning home. Seems we’ve all gotten used to being on the move, flitting from place to place like vagrants. Maybe no one else gets as exhausted by it as I do.

  I think it would be a lot easier for me if I had some beautiful, permanent company.

  Chapter 15

  Kyri

  “Girl, are you out of your mind?”

  Alex’s screech causes a tick in my ear. I pull the phone away from it. “Jeez, woman. Don’t deafen me.” I dig my ass into the couch, stroking Sammy with my free hand as he purrs contentedly on my lap.

  “Jace Hawthorne is into you. Into you. As in he wants to have sex with you more than once. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why didn’t you at least let him think you could deal with a relationship for a couple more weeks?”

  My mouth screws up with regret. The woman does make a point. “I don’t know. I just panicked. I get so crazy around him, it’s like I lose all sense of self-control.”

  “Now you’ve released him into the wild. I hope you know he’s not coming back.”

  Her words are like a knife in my chest. “Thanks a lot, friend.”

  “Sorry…” Alex sighs. “It’s just…you didn’t even give me a chance to meet him. I thought we were besties. This is all shades of unfair.”

  I giggle. “Sorry, girl. If I ever run into him again, I’ll be sure to introduce you before I sprint like the Roadrunner in the other direction.”

  “Deal. Are you okay?” Her tone rises with concern.

  “Yeah. It was so hard to leave like that, but I can’t let myself get attached to someone like him. I’ve been through enough. I can’t go through another heartbreak like the one Dad put us through.”

  “Well, all right. How was the sex?”

  Figures that Alex would ask about that right after a serious confession from me. It’s just the way she is. I give her a vivid description of everything, including his god-like body. It’s fun being the one with a crazy one-night stand story for once. I make sure to mention more than once how absolutely gargantuan his cock was. One inch more, and it would have been too big, but it was just fucking right. Even as I talk about it, I’m salivating again.

  “Oh my God, he sounds like a dream! I’m so jealous!”

  “Thanks.” My face beams with pride. I finally one-upped my “man magnet” of a best friend. That eases the heartache I’m feeling ever so slightly. “Do you want to come over and see my pictures? There’s nothing dirty or anything, but we did snap some selfies while we were out.”

  “Hell yes! I’ll be over in just a few.”

  We hang up the phone, and I snuggle Sammy into my belly, needing a warm body to make me feel better in a time like this. Half of me is proud and excited to have this experience to share, but the other half is heartbroken and wishing I hadn’t been stupid enough to say goodbye to him. Spending an entire day out on the town with Jace Hawthorne was the best my life is ever going to get. It’s all downhill from here. That’s so depressing to think about, I’m almost ready to break into my mom’s medicine cabinet and take everything with a bottle of vodka.

  After all, what’s the point of living if you’ve already passed the pinnacle of your life at age twenty-two?

  Sammy jumps off my lap as soon as the knock comes at the door. Alex only lives a few streets over from us. I stand and walk over to the door and don’t even look through the peephole before answering it.

  “Let me reiterate, there’s nothing dirty in these pictures. Sorry to disappoint you.” My chuckle dies in my throat when I open the door all the way and see a different, still familiar face.

  Dad, Richard Lane Calloway, in the flesh, is standing on our doorstep. I’ve been dreading this day since the day he left and I swore he was dead to me.

  My left hand balls into a fist at my side. “What do you want?” My words seethe through my teeth.

  “Hi, Kyri.” His voice is soft and gentle, quite a change from the way I remember it. The dark eyes I haven’t seen in ten years are hooded with remorse. “My God, you grew up so beautiful.”

  “You’re not welcome in this house, or in this town for that matter.” This time, I don’t have to fake the stoic face or the hardness in my heart. I make a move to close the door, but then Mom’s voice comes from behind me.

  “Rick?” I turn around to see my disheveled mother approaching us. She always sleeps in on Sunday mornings. Her makeup isn’t done, her glasses are on, and she’s got a robe wrapped tightly around her body. “Am I seeing things?”

  “Ruth…” His voice is ragged with unshed tears. “Baby, you haven’t aged a day.”

  “Can’t say the same for you.” She gives him a harsh once-over and moves in front o
f me. “What are you doing here?”

  “I’m in town on business, and I just had to come and talk to you—”

  “Business? Oh, you mean the music business? The one you left us for?” Her eyes narrow. I’ve never seen my mother so fierce and strong. It makes me so proud of her, but my heart is breaking that he’s putting her through all this again. I thought we were done. “You haven’t changed a bit where it counts, I see. If it’s convenient to see us, you’ll stop by, but otherwise you’ve got to get the hell out of Dodge.”

  “Ruth, that’s not fair—”

  “Not fair?” she shrieks. Her finger moves up to point in his face. “I’ll tell you what’s not fair! What you did to this girl.”

  Mom pulls me into her. Now that she’s taken over like a bull seeing red, I kinda wish she’d just leave me out of this entirely.

  “She had to step up and become the second adult in this house. Do you have any idea how much you screwed up her life?” Her breath comes out in snorts. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave this house and never show your ugly face here again. Do you hear me? Never! Now go back to your fucking crack whores and leave us alone.” I barely dodge the door before she slams it in his face with earth-shattering force.

  My eyes bulge out of their sockets as I take in my dragon woman of a mother. I’ve never seen such raw rage pouring out of her. As her chest heaves, her anger fades and gives way to heartrending sorrow. Tears pour down her cheeks. She tries to stifle her sobs for my sake, but I move to wrap her in my embrace.

  “Hey, it’s okay.”

  “Are you all right, sweetie?” Even through her tears, she pulls back to examine my face.

  “I’m fine, Mom. I’m more worried about you.”

  She continues to sob and pulls me into a hug again. “Goddammit…after all these years…”

  “I know. It wasn’t right for him to show up with no warning.”

  “And Elyza isn’t even here.” Mom gasps and pushes me back. “I have to warn her.”