Seeing Your Face Again

by Jerry S. Eicher

  She shrugged. “At least you admit it, unlike half of the country, it seems. The schools have gone to pot, in my opinion. They don’t teach history like they should.”

  “The education was there,” he said at once. “It was me.”

  She took the leash from him. “That’s sweet of you to admit, Alvin. You want to do this again some evening?”

  He held open the front door of the apartment building for her. “I’d love to.”

  They rode the elevator in silence and parted with a smile and a nod when she got off on the fourth floor. They’d made no arrangement as to when they’d meet again, but Alvin knew it would work out. This friendship seemed destined to progress.

  Eighteen

  At the Sunday night hymn singing in Snyder County, Debbie lagged behind when the line of girls filed through the serving line for supper. She watched Paul Wagler finagle his way in the men’s line to where he wanted to be—right across from her. No doubt he’d crack his first joke soon—and after her sleepless night on Saturday due to her concern over her future here she was in no mood for jokes.

  The man didn’t appear too happy right now, Debbie thought. Probably because she’d stepped out of line for a moment and threw off his timing. He was now in the men’s line at least four people ahead of her. Debbie kept her head down. Hopefully her maneuver would discourage Paul from attempting conversation. But the man was known for his determination. If he did engage her, she would have no choice but to respond the best she could. A scene was the last thing she needed right now.

  Her thoughts drifted to yesterday and her conversation with Bishop Beiler as they cleaned stalls. He’d been more than kind to share with her the information about Alvin. She was thankful for his efforts, but Bishop Beiler had no idea the agony the revelation had caused her. Kindhearted Ida had noticed even though Debbie had tried to hide her feelings. Her friend had come into her room after supper.

  “What is it?” Ida asked as she sat on the bed beside her. “Has Lois’s coming today disturbed you?”

  Debbie winced. “No, I’m glad Lois could come. I enjoyed every minute of it.” That wasn’t quite true. She’d felt sorry for Saloma and imagined how she must have felt as Lois chattered on about her new life among the Englisha.

  “Then what is it?” Ida’s hand reached over to squeeze hers. Her face was full of compassion.

  “I’d rather not talk about it right now. I’ve got to think things through.”

  “You know I’m here anytime you want to talk.” Ida stood to leave.

  “Thanks,” Debbie said.

  Ida headed to her own room.

  How could she share her disappointment that some folks in the community might be suspecting Alvin of being a thief? Debbie wondered. And this from his own father! No, that just wasn’t possible. She knew him too well. Alvin was insecure, yes. But he wouldn’t stoop to dishonesty. Even Bishop Beiler had to know that. She could tell by the look on his face. But evidence was what it was. And from the talk after the church services today, the bishop hadn’t exaggerated. The woman at the first table Debbie had served talked of little else, and others joined in.

  “Nee, he’s not replied to the deacon’s letter yet.”

  “I don’t know what his answer could be, other than coming back at once and repenting of his sins.”

  “How is the man supporting himself out there? You know that life among the Englisha isn’t cheap.”

  “Yah, and my Matthias told me an Englisha machine can cost ten thousand dollars easily. Where does that kind of money come from?”

  “We now know his daett doesn’t have any money.”

  And then the final comment that always brought the conversations to a tight-lipped halt. “I heard Alvin’s daett visited Deacon Mast this week. Seems like Edwin’s run out of feed, and the winter isn’t half over.”

  This was always followed by gasps and comments.

  “You don’t say!”

  “I can’t believe that!”

  “The family is so upstanding with the Ordnung!”

  And then silence would fall.

  Debbie had finally fled to the kitchen even though her hands still held a peanut butter bowl. When she had collected herself enough to return, shocked silence still hung over the table. Only a few whispered conversations had begun again. And things had been that way all afternoon.

  Paul’s voice brought Debbie out of her thoughts with a jolt. “Hello there, Tweety-tweet. What’s the long face about?” He stepped out of line and reached over to touch her arm.

  Debbie almost slapped his hand but caught herself in time. The girls around her giggled. They obviously would love to have this much attention from the handsome Paul Wagler. And none of them would understand if she openly rejected him.

  Debbie cooed back, “I was thinking wonderful thoughts about you.”

  There was loud laughter from the men’s line. One of them spoke up. “That’s telling him gut.”

  Paul shrugged off the implied insult. “At least she’s thinking about me, which none of you handsome dudes can stake a claim to.”

  “Hey, what about that!” Several of the men slapped each other on the back. “He says we’re handsome.”

  Paul laughed and stepped back in line. He gave Debbie a sharp glance.

  Clearly Paul wasn’t through with her tonight, Debbie thought. No doubt he wanted a positive answer on his question of whether she’d allow him to drive her home tonight.

  The line moved forward again. Debbie filled her plate with food. She hadn’t been hungry, with all her thoughts and worries from the last few days, but the meat casserole and the canned corn steaming in the bowl made her mouth water. Debbie took large portions. To compensate, she took a smaller piece of shoofly pie when she reached the end of the line.

  Paul was waiting for her by the side of the kitchen doorway. He smiled and whispered, “What’s Melvin Kanagy doing here tonight?”

  “How would I know?” Debbie asked. Then she added, “Maybe he’s after me.”

  Paul glared at her. “Ha, ha. Why would he show up out of the blue at a youth gathering? Melvin’s a married man.”

  “His wife has passed on, hasn’t she?”

  Paul glared even more. “Yah. How do you know that?”

  “It’s not like it’s a secret. Everyone knows.” Was Paul jealous? If so, Debbie couldn’t let the moment pass. “He is quite handsome, isn’t he? And he’s the minister’s brother. Maybe he’s here to ask to drive someone home.”

  Paul’s glare turned into shock. “You?”

  “I didn’t say that…”

  Paul surveyed her face. “Ah, so you’re teasing.”

  At least he knew her well enough to figure that out. But it had taken him a moment. “So what is Melvin here for?” Paul hadn’t moved. Several people had to walk around them.

  “You’re creating a scene,” Debbie whispered.

  That seemed to convince him, and he moved on with a perplexed look still on his face.

  Why was Melvin Kanagy here? Debbie wondered. She glanced toward Ida, who was already seated at the table. Melvin had just taken his place in the food line and a smile lingered on his face. If she didn’t miss her guess, Melvin had directed that smile in Ida’s direction. Hadn’t her friend said something about Melvin glancing at her during the meeting? Was that why he was here? Because of Ida? Paul was right. Melvin wouldn’t show up like this unless he had a good reason.

  Well, that about took the cake, Debbie thought as she took an empty seat. Wasn’t that a little fast? She would have to speak with Ida the first chance she had. That chance came twenty minutes later when they’d finished the meal. Ida was standing by herself toward the back of the room.

  Debbie stepped close. “So, Ida, what’s going on with Melvin Kanagy?”

  Ida didn’t answer, but she turned pink and then red.

  “You should have told me,” Debbie scolded. “When were you going to break the news?”

  “Sometime.” Ida’s voice s
queaked. “Besides, he only asked me home this afternoon.”

  Debbie gave Ida a quick glance. “Are you happy about this? You like the man?”

  “Why wouldn’t I? He’s quite decent and godly.” Ida looked away. “It’s just embarrassing, that’s all. I’ve never gone home with a man.”

  Debbie touched her arm. “Relax then or someone’s going to notice you’re nervous. You’ll be okay.”

  Ida took a deep breath. “I’ll try.”

  Debbie forced a smile. “So, I’m going home by myself with Emery tonight.”

  Alarm flew into Ida’s face. “That’s not a problem, is it?”

  “Of course not!” Debbie didn’t hesitate. “I’m glad this is working out for you.”

  A motherly look crossed Ida’s face. “You know Paul can take you home if you’re uncomfortable being alone with Emery.”

  Debbie laughed. “I like Emery. Enjoy your evening, my friend. You have a right to, you know. That is—if you really want this man.”

  Ida lowered her head.

  She’d be okay, Debbie figured. Melvin was a decent man, if she was any judge of men.

  Moments later Ida made a beeline for the kitchen to help with the dishes. Debbie knew she should offer to help too, so made her way to the kitchen. Girls were already lined up on both sides of the counter with towels and washcloths in their hands. Ida had somehow worked her way into the center of it all and was busy with dishes at the sink. She was so efficient and sweet. Debbie hoped Melvin Kanagy would treat her really nice. If he didn’t, Debbie wasn’t going to speak with him ever again. She sighed as she took a seat at a table again. She figured she might as well sit down rather than stand around while everyone waited for the hymn singing to begin. The clock on the wall showed the time to be a quarter after seven, so there was still fifteen minutes to go.

  Thoughts raced through her mind. Why couldn’t she date Paul and postpone the inevitable for a while? She’d been in a similar situation before with Doug and several others. The relationships didn’t work out in the end—and this one wouldn’t either, but Paul wouldn’t know that. He was too taken up with his own world and what he wanted. Just like Doug and the others had been. Paul would have to deal with the shock down the road when she cut off the relationship. It might help Paul get over himself and give Alvin and her time to clear their names.

  Debbie silently groaned. She couldn’t live that way. She couldn’t give a man encouragement when she knew she wasn’t serious about him. It seemed okay out there in the world, but here in the community things were run by a different standard. And she wanted to live like they did, regardless of the cost. So what was to become of her if she didn’t return Paul’s affections? Nothing good. She’d be asked to leave. Something had to be done. She couldn’t just stand by and watch her heart’s desire to join the community go down the drain.

  Debbie jumped when Paul whispered in her ear.

  “Did you find out what Melvin’s here for?”

  “Nothing I’m going to tell you.” She glared up at Paul as he laughed.

  “As long as it has nothing to do with you, I’m happy.” He smiled and moved on.

  The man has nerve! Debbie thought. Such nerve!

  Nineteen

  Ida slipped out of the washroom, wrapped her shawl around her shoulders, and closed the door behind her. Emery had left some time ago, and Debbie had gone with him. Now she would be taken home by Melvin Kanagy. She’d never imagined life would turn out this way for her—that she would go home on her first date with a man who had been married. But many other girls had done so, and there was no shame in the matter since Melvin was a widower. It’s just the way Da Hah worked things out sometimes.

  Melvin’s frequent glances toward her all evening had kept her feelings up, so there was no reason she should sink into despair now. For the first time she would get to speak at length with Melvin. He was a gut man, and though she might not love him yet, there was no reason that couldn’t change. Maybe she’d get over her embarrassment soon and stop all the blushing. At least no one had teased her tonight. Maybe they hadn’t noticed, although that was hard to imagine. Maybe the thought of her with a date seemed too impossible to imagine. Either way, she was now dating and might soon be a married woman, if she didn’t miss her guess.

  Ida made her way down the snowy sidewalks. A few snowflakes brushed past her bonnet. She shielded her eyes with her hand and peered at the line of approaching buggies. Melvin drove a dark-red horse—if she remembered correctly. How embarrassed she would be if she climbed into a buggy with the wrong man. And with her nervousness, that might be exactly what she’d do!

  “Chilly night,” commented Susie Schmucker, who stood in line beside her.

  “Yah, it is,” Ida agreed. “A storm must have blown up suddenly.”

  “It won’t be too bad.” Susie smiled. “Well, here’s Jonas with his buggy. You have a gut evening now.”

  Ida allowed the warmth of Susie’s words to run all the way through her. They certainly were meant to include more than the comment about the storm that brewed in the sky. Susie had noticed Ida and was telling her she cared and that she approved of her going home with Melvin. What a wunderbah thought! Ida told herself. It must be a terrible thing to have the disapproval of the community on one’s head—like Alvin and Debbie had right now. She felt so sorry for them, but it couldn’t be helped. Alvin had left the community, and Debbie should face the facts. But her friend was stubborn about such things. Paul had sent glances her way all evening during the hymn singing, but from what Ida could see, Debbie hadn’t returned one of them.

  For a moment Ida let a thought linger in her mind. What would it be like to have a man like Paul pay attention to you? She pushed the thought away. It was a dream out of her reach, and she would accept her lot. She must never think about such a thing again. Melvin was a decent man, and he was taking her home tonight. She would be grateful for his attention and seek to open her heart to his love.

  Ida moved forward with quick steps as the next buggy pulled up. The horse was the right color, and the faint form of the man in the buggy had a beard. It couldn’t be anyone but Melvin. Married men didn’t pick up their wives and families this early in the evening. With a quick pull of her hand on the side of the buggy, Ida was up and onto the seat.

  “Gut evening!” Melvin’s deep voice came from beside her.

  “Gut evening,” Ida whispered back, lest her voice quiver. Melvin didn’t need to know how nervous she was. Hopefully he didn’t know she’d never done anything like this before.

  Melvin gently slapped the reins against his horse’s back, and they were off.

  “The weather’s turned kind of nasty,” he said as he pulled out of the driveway and onto the blacktop road.

  “Yah,” she agreed. “I had snowflakes flying in my hair while I waited for your buggy.” He said nothing, and she glanced up at his face. Had she said something wrong? Was the comment about the snowflakes in her hair too personal? Did he think such an intimate image inappropriate for the first time in a long time that he took a girl home? She settled back in the buggy seat. Melvin had been married and had six children. He wouldn’t think such a thing, she decided. “How are your children tonight?” Ida finally asked when Melvin still said nothing.

  He smiled, obviously pleased with her question. “My mamm is taking care of them for me. My sister Lily’s dating herself tonight.” He gave a little laugh. “Young people, you know. They have to see each other.”

  What should she think of that comment? Wasn’t she young? Melvin was taking a girl home tonight, but maybe he didn’t consider himself young any longer.

  “Mamm was most helpful when I asked,” Melvin continued. “Daett stayed too so I don’t have to drive her home even though I offered.” He shrugged. “Old people don’t mind lost sleep, I guess. But they don’t want me to lose more of mine than necessary.”

  It almost sounded like taking her home was a burden, Ida thought. But Melvin wanted another fr
au, so he must feel he had to do certain things for her—like stay up later than he normally would and ask his parents for help. Ida stared off into the darkness. Her heart pounded. Perhaps this was a mistake?

  “Is something wrong?” Melvin shifted in the buggy seat beside her.

  Ida tried to speak but the words wouldn’t come. Was she suddenly tearing up? She couldn’t believe this! What would Melvin do with a girl who sobbed on their first date? He’d likely drop her off right here beside the road!

  Melvin waited for her to reply. His voice finally rumbled in the darkness. “I’m sorry, Ida. I didn’t mean that like it must have sounded. It’s a great honor that you’re allowing me to take you home tonight. The children just need…well…a lot of attention.”

  Melvin’s hand touched her arm for a moment in the darkness.

  Ida rushed out, “Thank you. I understand. I really do. It’s okay. And you don’t have to stay late tonight if you don’t wish to. I don’t need much…much attention.”

  His laugh was soft. “Don’t undersell yourself, Ida. You’re a wunderbah woman.”

  “Don’t say things you don’t mean.” She glanced up at his face. His silhouette was outlined in the dim buggy lights.

  His answer came at once. “I’m not, Ida. But yah, maybe I’m speaking too plainly for our first time together…” He let the sentence hang.

  Ida hesitated. “It’s not that, Melvin. I’m just not used to…things like that being said about me.”

  “Then it’s time to begin.” His held the reins in both hands. “You are easy to love, Ida, and my heart has already opened up greatly to you. I hope you will soon feel the same about me.”

  Ida took a deep breath. This was plain talk and plain thoughts for a first date, but then she’d never been on one before. And Melvin had been married. And she was older than most dating girls. No doubt he’d said such things to his frau, Mary. No wonder Mary had always seemed so in love with him.