The truth was, they only thought they were at the top of the food chain, because we’d allowed them to believe that.
My head was spinning in a psychotic mess. On the verge of a breakdown, I struggled to contain my emotions. In the darkness of the towering pines, I wound down the trail alone, letting my fangs down, and the moon light my way as I gasped my way through the storm that was raging inside of me.
After a while, I began running. Slowly at first, then faster and faster until I’d caught wind, my feet lifted into the air and swooping me through the forest in a cloud of pain and misery and strength, all balled up into a ghostly blur. The critters cried out, their secret panicked languages rising around me. I flew and flew, lifting myself high up in the trees and swooping back down, weaving through the wide tree trunks, doing my best to extinguish the pain with sheer exertion.
Later, I lay on my back in the cold, lush grass, a crumpled mess next to the top water reservoir of the mountain. The city lay sprawled below, sparkling with life.
For the millionth time, I thought about how’d I miss it. I’d grown to love its gritty streets. I’d spent most of my time searching out the secret treasures sprinkled throughout the city, when I wasn’t working. The hospital was lit up on the hill across the river, digging the knife deeper in my heart, as I knew it would be even harder to get the good stuff now.
Bottles of blood labeled by blood type weren’t so easy to come by outside of the medical world. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to be a doctor again, now that I didn’t have the help of the Council with forming my new identity. Sure, I had a new name, a new ID, a new passport, but those were just papers if you didn’t have references and established credit reports and employment history to back you up. I wasn’t sure what I’d do now.
Luckily, I’d planned ahead and I had enough money saved up to see me through till I figured it all out.
“Everything’s going to be okay,” I said, more to the stars than myself. Whatever happened, happened. I needed to throw off the angst and let it all go. So fucking what, life was unfair, right?
Everyone, even other vampires, go through hard times.
I nodded, letting my troubles roll off my back as I inhaled the clean night air. I’d figure it out. For fuck’s sake, I was one of the oldest vampires around, and I was strong as a fucking god. I had no room to complain or to feel nostalgia, or resist change.
Change was the name of my fucking game.
I had this.
Hell, I’d gotten through the night without even killing anyone, so I figured I was succeeding already. I strolled back through the park, languishing slowly as I let the peace of the park work its much needed magic. By the time I returned to my car, I almost had a smile on my face.
My shoulders were relaxed, my fangs weren’t out and I wasn’t even grinding them together like a madman.
I looked almost normal.
Just a normal dude, driving away from the park and towards his future.
I just needed to make one quick stop, I told myself.
When the voice that sounded in my head shouted that it was a bad idea, I just pushed it away.
I was full of zen now.
I could deal with it.
ONCE AGAIN, I turned my headlights off as I approached the house. Looking around, I made sure everything was quiet before I got out. I stood on the sidewalk, listening, watching, waiting.
Slowly, I walked around the house, heading straight to the window I’d peered in countless times before.
Her bedroom was all the way in the back, with a gorgeous bay window that looked out into the private backyard. The curtains were rarely drawn, since you’d have to be in the backyard to see inside.
It was late August, but some of the trees had already lost their leaves, and they crunched underfoot as I crept up to the window. I waited again, listening carefully before peeking around and looking through the glass.
The last time I’d done this, I’d gotten a beautiful view of Addy’s naked body, sprawled out on top of the covers and completely passed out. She’d looked like a goddamned angel actually, her hair splayed around her face as her breasts rose and fell as she breathed. I’d watched her for an hour or so before her damned dog woke up and began yapping at the window.
That night had been one of my favorites and I was hoping for a repeat tonight, but deep in my heart I knew I was in store for an entirely different vision.
Tonight, the dog was still there. Sleeping peacefully at the foot of the bed.
And tonight, Addy was naked again. She was splayed out on her bed once more, her gorgeous raven hair tousled around her beautiful face.
She was indeed a vision.
And as I watched Leo move his sculpted body on top of hers, watched her wrap her quivering thighs around him as he sank into her, claiming her as his own, over and over and over again…I knew that would never be me.
Did I love Addy?
Maybe, at one time.
Now — this wasn’t love I was feeling.
I watched them connecting on the deepest level possible and the peace I’d fought so hard for earlier washed away. The jealousy, the pettiness, the indignant rage, came rushing back in its place and all I could think of in that one moment was that I had one last act to carry out before I could truly move on.
If I didn’t get revenge, I’d never forgive myself.
I’d never find myself.
After a few moments, I pulled myself away from the window and walked back to my car, my hands balled into fists, my eyes flashing with anger as I slid behind the wheel. As I drove away, my fangs shot out, and I let out a mighty growl, rage overwhelming me.
A few blocks away, I passed a small park with a young woman sitting on a bench. She was on the phone, hunched over, talking on a cell phone. I stopped the car, putting it in park as I turned off the headlights. I sat for a moment, relishing in the rage, soaking in the savage urges that overwhelmed me when the rage came.
I got out of the car, my gaze focused on my prey.
She didn’t see me approach, she didn’t hear me, she had no idea what hit her.
Once her phone fell to the ground, my teeth were already sliding inside the thick, pulsing vein, drinking deeply.
It was better this way, because she didn’t taste like fear.
She still tasted like life.
TWENTY-THREE
ADDY
The one good thing about being a vampire is the fact that cooking isn’t necessary. I prepared breakfast for Leo as he slept in, my skin still tingling from making love to him all night.
I laid out a small buffet on the kitchen counter - small, trimmed strips of raw lamb and buffalo, garnished on a bed of fresh greens that neither of us would touch, with a side of fresh organic goat’s blood for dipping that I’d snagged from the ethnic store up the street.
Quackers was yapping at my feet, begging for a bite. I tore off a small piece of lamb and gave it to him, which only served to make him beg for more.
I knew as soon as he woke up, Leo would want to talk about going back home. I couldn’t expect him to stay holed up with me forever, I guess.
I was worried about him passing as a human, though. Most of the time, once we became a vampire, we didn’t go back to our old lives, we never saw our family again after we turned.
But dammit, he was so insistent, and who was I to say no?
It was at least worth a try. And if things got too risky, then we could come up with another plan. Staying here and resuming our lives seemed like the least risky plan at the moment. Moving on and trying to be other people would only cause the Council to wonder why I was doing it.
In a way, we were damned if we stayed and damned if we went, but if Leo wanted to try this, then I was all for trying it. If we needed to reevaluate things later, so be it.
Quackers went racing down the hall as Leo wobbled out of the bedroom. He danced at his feet and Leo leaned down and scooped him up in his arms.
“I think he likes you,” I sa
id, as he walked into the kitchen looking like the sexiest thing I’d ever seen. His hair was tousled, his sleepy eyes seductively gazing at me with hooded lids, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers that I’d happily pulled off of him last night.
The scar on his muscular chest was healed almost completely, which was only because I’d turned him. If I hadn’t, it would still be screaming across his chest in an angry gash. He pulled me into my arms and I ran my fingertip down his scar, smiling to myself.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he said, leaning his head to kiss me gently. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close, breathing in his musky scent, relishing in the love flowing between us.
“Did you sleep well?” I asked.
“Best sleep I’ve ever had,” he said.
“We were up most of the night,” I protested.
“That’s exactly what I’m talking about,” he winked.
“Oh, you,” I said, leaning my head on his chest, listening to the pounding of his heart. It was beautiful. He was beautiful.
My heart filled with love for him as he held me close, his arms wrapped around me tenderly, protectively, the morning sun pouring over us.
“I made you breakfast,” I murmured.
“I see that,” he said, nodding. “Is it bad that I miss omelettes and pancakes?”
“No,” I smiled. “I can make you that, too. But you need this stuff for fuel. Anything else is like desert.”
“Hmm,” he said. “Are there fat vampires?”
I laughed and looked up at him, shaking my head.
“Nope, you can eat all you want and you won’t gain weight.”
“Well, fire up the griddle, darlin’, because Leo’s gonna make you the best pancakes you’ve ever tasted!”
“What!” I exclaimed. “Really?”
He reached over, popping a slice of raw buffalo in his mouth.
“Yep,” he nodded. “You have syrup?”
“I think so…” I said, laughing.
“Excellent!”
I watched him flitter about the kitchen, snaking on the meat and drinking the goat’s blood in between mixing flour, baking powder, salt and sugar and heating up the griddle.
“I’m going to take a shower while you do that,” I said.
“You better be quick,” he said. “This won’t take long.”
“Five minutes,” I said.
“You better get going then,” he said, smacking me on the butt as I walked away. I was glad he wasn’t rushing out the door, and that he wasn’t rushing the inevitable worry that I knew would plague me as soon as he did.
I walked back in my bedroom and couldn’t help but smile as I looked at the rumpled sheets. It’d been so long since I had a real lover and it felt nice. It felt incredible, in fact.
There was nothing in the world I wanted more than for this to all work out, for us to both be happy and live together in harmony, our lives full of love. I deserved that. He deserved it.
And I planned to do everything in my power to give it to him. I’d changed him forever, I owed him that much. Hell, I owed him everything.
I showered quickly, the smell of pancakes filling the house and hurrying me along. I’d long ago given up eating for pleasure, mostly enjoying a glass of wine here and there, but when you’re all alone, it’s not as fun to eat alone when you don’t need to, or maybe I’ve just lost my ability to enjoy life over the years.
With Leo around, maybe all of that would change, too.
Maybe change wasn’t so bad after all.
I threw on a robe and walked back in the kitchen, smiling as I heard Leo singing an old eighties love song as I entered.
“This house hasn’t smelled this good in a very long time,” I said.
He kissed me, already tasting like pancakes.
“Sorry, I couldn’t wait. I found your syrup, too,” he said, giving me another sticky sweet kiss. I licked my lips, tasting the sweet maple. “Sit! Sit!”
He’d set the table while I was gone and had cooked way too many pancakes for just the two of us. A huge pile of perfectly golden pancakes formed a mountain of calories on a platter in the middle of the table and he’d picked a bowl of blackberries from the bushes in the backyard.
“It’s so lovely,” I said. “How did you do this so fast? I was gone five minutes.”
“I have skills,” he said, winking sexily at me.
“Oh, I know all about your skills,” I remarked.
“Stick with me, Addy, I’m full of surprises,” he said, kissing my cheek before sitting down across from me.
Quackers curled himself up under my chair and we began loading our plates with pancakes. He dove into his pile with the gusto of a starving man, savoring every bite with moans and whimpers of delight. As soon as the first bite hit my tongue, I understood.
“Oh, my god!” I declared. “These are amazing!”
“Ma’s recipe,” he said, lifting his chin proudly. “She taught me how to make them when I turned ten and I’ve made them the same way ever since.”
“Incredible,” I mumbled, my mouth full of the decadent delight.
“I'm glad you like them, babe,” he said, beaming at me in between bites. I watched in awe as he finished his first plate and began piling more on for seconds.
“Seriously?” I said.
He shrugged and poured on the syrup, before sinking his fork into them.
“I like the sugar rush,” he said. “If I’m not going to gain weight, then that means I can’t get diabetes, either, right?”
“Yep,” I said. “Eat as much as you want.”
“Fucking score,” he said, shoving a forkful into his mouth.
“You’re crazy,” I laughed.
“I was a fat kid,” he said.
“You were?” I asked.
“Yep. You’d never know it now, because I worked my ass off for this body, but up till I hit puberty, I was a squishy marshmallow of a kid. These pancakes?” He said, pausing, his pancake-filled fork frozen mid-air. “I had to limit my intake, but I craved them like nobody’s business. Not to mention cupcakes, pies and cobblers. Ma loves to bake and I had to beg her to stop doing it when I was home during my teens. She’d still do it, though,” he said, shaking his head, “she’d just eat them herself or take them over to the neighbor’s house or to her church group. She always said if she ever stopped baking, then I’d know she was sick. Said it calmed her nerves a bit, gave her something to do, something to think about. I think she just had a sweet tooth the size of Oregon, but that’s just me.”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Your mother is a very sweet woman,” I said. He nodded, a wistful look crossing his handsome face.
“Yeah, she is,” he said. “I was blessed with a good one. You only get one, you know?”
“Yes,” I said, a sharp stab of pain I’d not felt in a long time hitting me square in the heart. Rarely did I think of my own family anymore. It seemed so long ago, it seemed practically useless to be nostalgic about them anymore.
“I’m going to see her today, Addy, I have to,” he whispered.
“I know,” I replied, nodding my head. “I’m not going to try to stop you.”
“Thank you,” he said. “I promise I can handle things. Everything will be fine, okay?”
“I know, babe,” I said, nodding, mustering a smile.
“What’s wrong?”
“Honestly?” I said, my eyes searching his before I tore them away. “It’s ridiculous, really…”
“What is it?” He asked.
“This is all so unusual, Leo. None of this is normal. So the fact that I’m having ‘normal’ reservations about all of this is so absurd to me.”
“What do you mean, sweetheart?” His eyes were so green, those gorgeous emeralds shining over at me filled with love. I felt like a fool voicing my feelings.
“I guess I’m just worried about what happens afterwards. Once you go back home. Go back to work. Go back to your life.”
&nb
sp; “What are you worried about?”
“God, it’s so dumb,” I said, biting my lip. “But what if you decide you don’t have room for me? What if your family and friends don’t want to let you go?”
“Let me go? Room for you?” He asked. “Oh, Addy. Babe, listen, first of all, I’m a grown-ass man and I make my own decisions. My friends and family don’t tell me what to do. And my life was an empty, lonely box before I met you. Can’t you see how you’ve filled it up?”
“I just see how I’ve changed everything. You, your future…”
“That’s true, you have,” he said, his eyes somber and serious, “but it’s for the better, Addy. Before you, I was lonely and I didn’t even know it. Before you, I was sad and I didn’t know why. Sure, I had great life, a great family, a great job. But after work? Outside of cracking open a few bottles with the Captain, I spent my nights alone on the couch with Bessie. There wasn’t a lot of excitement. And you know what?”
“What?”
“Outside of bringing excitement to my life, which holy shit, you’ve definitely done that,” he said, raising his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes and shook my head, smiling as he continued. “You’ve brought the one thing nobody else ever did.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“Love, Addy,” he said, grabbing my hand across the table and squeezing it. “I’ve never felt anything like this. Forget everything else, all the excitement, the trauma of the last few weeks, forget what we are…above all, you’ve shown me what it means to love someone, completely, fully love. That’s priceless, Addy. And in my life, there will always be room for love.”
I sighed, staring across at him, bewildered at the goodness that poured from him. He was so open, so accepting, so damned forgiving that it was almost too much to take. His tenderness was poignant and touching and it soaked right into my heart.
“I love you so much, Leo,” I whispered, my eyes shining with tears.
“I love you, too, sweetheart. Forever and ever,” he said.
“Yes,” I cried, “forever.”
“So don’t worry, okay?” He asked.
“Alright,” I said. “No more worrying, I promise.”
The Sanctuary 2: The Vampire's Passion Page 8
