Child of Grace (Love Inspired)

by Irene Hannon

  “Then that’s another blessing to come out of this project, isn’t it?”

  In his peripheral vision, he noticed that his knuckles were turning white on the wheel. He unclenched his fingers. “Hannah, even if there was a spark of attraction on either side—and I’m not admitting there is—it’s too complicated. I’m leaving in a month. And she’s pregnant.”

  “So? If you’re in love, you can overcome the distance problem. And I thought you liked kids.”

  “I do.”

  She lifted one shoulder. “Ready-made family.”

  He pulled into the entrance ramp for I-196 and accelerated, his grip once more tightening on the wheel. “You’re jumping to a lot of wrong conclusions.”

  “About what? That you’re in love? Or that you could accept a child who wasn’t your own?”

  Man, she wasn’t cutting him any slack.

  “First of all, I’m not in love with Kelsey. I just met her two weeks ago. Falling in love with someone that fast would be foolish. And as for accepting a child who isn’t my own…it’s not a subject I’ve ever considered. It would depend on the circumstances. And if I was interested in Kelsey, her circumstances are mysterious, to say the least.”

  She skewered him with a look that was way too grown-up and insightful for a seventeen-year-old.

  “You don’t choose who to fall in love with, or how fast it happens. And I’m not saying you’re there yet. But trust me, the mutual attraction is obvious. I bet even Dorothy’s picked up on it. As for Kelsey’s circumstances, they may be mysterious. But I’ve spent a lot of time with her this week, and she’s a wonderful person. You could do worse. And maybe if you gave it a chance, showed you were interested in her life and had feelings for her, she might let you in on this mystery that has you so worried.”

  Her rebuttal finished, she settled back in her seat and turned her attention to the passing scenery.

  In the silence that followed, Luke tried without much success to absorb all the implications of Hannah’s little speech.

  But one thing was very clear.

  He’d just been lectured on romance by his kid sister.

  Even worse, now that she’d brought up the subject, he doubted she was going to let it die.

  Meaning he’d better get a handle on his feelings for Kelsey. Quick. And then decide what to do about them.

  Before Hannah decided to step in and take charge.

  Something was up.

  As Kelsey emerged from the tall grass on Saturday morning and joined Luke and Hannah on the beach, she caught the warning look sent from brother to sister.

  A new dynamic was at play here.

  One that made her uneasy.

  “Good morning.” She forced her lips into a smile and tried to read their expressions. Hannah appeared happy, relaxed and…smug was the word that came to mind. By contrast, twin furrows creased Luke’s brow, and his posture was stiff as he stood to greet her.

  “Hi, Kelsey.” Hannah reached for the jacket on the sand beside her chair. “Did you sleep any better last night?”

  Kelsey shot her a surprised look. She’d only mentioned her sleep problems once, and Hannah hadn’t brought them up since. Why now?

  She switched her attention to Luke. His frown had deepened, and she shifted under his scrutiny. He was a doctor. He wasn’t going to miss the dark circles under her eyes, despite her efforts to camouflage them. “I think it goes with the territory.” She kept her tone light as she placed a hand on her stomach. “Junior must be starting to feel confined.”

  “Is it a boy?” Luke moved closer, tugged her folding chair from her fingers and settled it securely in the sand beside his.

  “I don’t know.” She tightened her grip on her mug, trying to maintain her light tone. “There’s a lot to be said for being surprised, don’t you think?” She lowered herself into the lawn chair as he held it steady.

  Without commenting, Luke retook his seat in the low-slung beach chair.

  “So what color scheme are you using in the nursery, if you don’t know the baby’s gender?”

  At Hannah’s question, Kelsey’s stomach twisted, curdling the milk she’d been drinking. How in the world had they gotten on this subject?

  “I’m not that far along with my plans yet. Yellow is always a safe color, though. Or green. I have a few more weeks to think about it. And things at the shop will be quieter once the summer crowd leaves. I’ll have more time to focus on details like that.”

  Stop babbling, Kelsey. That will only arouse suspicion.

  Too late. When she peeked at Luke, he was watching her from under hooded lids.

  Stretching, Hannah stood, put on her jacket and gestured down the beach. “I think I’ll take a little walk.” With a pointed glance at her brother, she sauntered down the sand.

  Kelsey couldn’t see his face as he watched his sister walk away, but she was picking up some odd vibes. Like he was…nervous, maybe. Or uncertain. Odd. He’d always struck her as confident and in control and…decisive.

  For some strange reason, his discomfiture had a calming effect on her. Leveled the playing field in some way. And his uncharacteristic awkwardness also made it easier to deal with Dr. Walters’s recommendation. When Kelsey had explained how her initial fear of him had given way to attraction, the therapist had suggested she let those feelings surface. Not necessarily act on them, but feel them in a safe context so she’d learn not to fear them.

  This was about as safe as she was going to get.

  Wriggling down into her chair, she waited Luke out.

  Half a minute passed before he transferred his attention from Hannah to her. When he found her watching him, his neck reddened and he groped for his sunglasses—unnecessary at this hour of the morning, with the sun at their backs.

  He was hiding behind them. Just as she’d hidden behind hers at their first meeting. Interesting.

  “Hannah told me you saw your OB this week. I noticed you’ve been looking tired. Is everything okay?”

  Whoa!

  That personal comment wasn’t at all what she’d expected.

  Her defenses slammed back into place with the resounding clang of a prison lockdown.

  “Yes. Everything’s fine.” Her voice tightened, as did her hold on the mug.

  Please, Lord! Make him back off! I don’t want to talk about this.

  Unfortunately, God didn’t seem to be tuned in to her frequency today.

  “Listen…I don’t want to pry, Kelsey, but we’re neighbors. Temporarily, anyway. And I know you’re alone. Hannah told me you’re not married, and that the baby’s father is out of the picture.” He lifted his hand to his glasses. Hesitated. Then took them off.

  All at once she found herself drowning in warm, brown eyes that were awash with empathy and caring.

  “So I wanted to tell you that if you need anything while I’m here, don’t hesitate to ask.”

  Pressure built in her throat, behind her eyes, and she gritted her teeth. She was not going to cry! She was not going to fall apart just because a nice man had made a kind offer.

  But much to her dismay, a tear managed to leak out and trickle down her cheek.

  Before she could swipe it away, Luke reached over and did it for her with a lean finger, his tender touch melting her heart.

  “What’s wrong, Kelsey? Can you tell me?”

  Choking back a sob, she shook her head and stood, the uneven sand only partly to blame for her unsteadiness. Without bothering to fold up her chair, she stumbled toward the path in the tall grass.

  “Kelsey! Wait!”

  She ignored Luke’s call and plunged into the grass, praying he wouldn’t follow.

  At the landing halfway up, she risked a glance back toward the beach while she caught her breath. Luke was standing by his chair, the morning sun bronzing his face as he looked up toward her. His tall, stalwart form reminded her of the prince heroes who’d peopled the fairy tales she’d devoured as a child.

  But she’d given those stor
ies up years ago, much preferring to take care of herself rather than rely on a man. She liked being strong. In control of her life. Successful in her own right.

  Besides, knights on white horses were in short supply in today’s world.

  And happy endings were even more rare, as divorce statistics proved.

  She turned away from Luke and continued up the steps—a trek that was becoming more difficult with each passing day. But she could deal with it. Or any other challenge that came her way.

  Yet, for one fleeting moment, she wondered what it would be like to have a man like Luke by her side. Not to hold her up, but to hold her hand.

  In the next instant, she ruthlessly quashed that thought.

  For given her situation, it, too, was the stuff of fairy tales.

  As Kelsey disappeared from view, Luke raked his fingers through his hair.

  Talk about a bust.

  Expelling a frustrated breath, he sank back into his beach chair, closed his eyes and folded his hands on his stomach. So much for following Hannah’s advice about letting Kelsey know he was interested in her life. He’d tried to open the door to some confidences, but she’d slammed it in his face. And bolted as fast as a startled deer.

  Now he was back to square one. He wouldn’t be surprised if the next time they met, every bit of the wariness she’d exhibited at their first encounter would be back in place.

  The prospect left a hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach.

  “You blew it, didn’t you?”

  At Hannah’s comment, Luke stifled a groan and opened his eyes. She stood beside him, hands on hips, shaking her head in disgust.

  “I set you up perfectly. All you had to do was ask a few discreet, caring questions about the baby.” She crossed her arms. “So what did you say, anyway? I saw her take off like a bat out of…you know where. It must have been bad.”

  “Since when did you become Dr. Phil?”

  She wrinkled her brow. “Who?”

  Wrong demographic. Kids her age probably had their own relationship guru. He waved her into her seat. “Let it go, Hannah. I don’t need advice about my love life.”

  “Ah-ha! You admit you’re falling in love. Now we’re getting somewhere.” She dropped down onto the side of her chair, putting them at eye level.

  “I’m not admitting anything.” He shot her a disgruntled look.

  “Fine. Whatever. So what did you say to her?” She leaned toward him, posture intent.

  Luke shifted in his chair. He had a feeling she wasn’t going to like his response. But it was also clear she wasn’t going to let him off the hook. He’d have to throw her a few crumbs.

  “I followed your advice about letting her know I cared. I told her I knew she wasn’t married, and that if she needed anything while I was here, all she had to do was ask.”

  In the silence that followed, Hannah squinted at him. “That’s it?”

  He replayed the conversation in his mind. “I also told her she looked tired, and I asked if everything was okay.”

  She waited, as if she expected him to continue. When he didn’t, she shook her head and flopped back in her chair. As if he were a hopeless case.

  “Did you tell her anything about yourself, Luke?”

  “Like what?”

  “Like anything that would give her a glimpse into who you are. Into what makes you tick.”

  “You didn’t mention that yesterday.”

  “I didn’t think I had to. It’s Relationships 101. If you don’t share with another person and show you trust them with your secrets, how do you expect them to trust you with theirs?”

  Okay. She had a point. But being tutored on romance by a seventeen-year-old was bruising his ego. Time to go on the defensive.

  “You know, I’ve gotten along fine without your advice for the twenty-plus years I’ve been dating. I’ve never had any trouble relating to the women I went out with.”

  “Yeah? Then how come you’re still single?”

  Checkmate.

  He grasped at the excuse he’d always given. “I was too busy for romance in medical school. And my army career didn’t lend itself to commitments.”

  “The right woman would have changed your mind about that. If you’d ever let anyone get close enough to see into your heart. You can’t fall in love or develop a real friendship if you keep all your emotions locked up tight.”

  A muscle clenched in Luke’s jaw, and he averted his head to stare out over the water, now sparkling in the morning sun as if sprinkled by diamonds.

  “Maybe not. But it’s the only way to survive when you witness death and destruction every day. When you deal with young men and women whose lives are snuffed out or forever changed in an instant by a bullet or by fire from an explosion or by a roadside bomb. You learn not to feel too deeply. Not to invest too much of yourself. Because if you let yourself feel too much, you die, too. Little by little, day by day, until the heart that once beat with passion is an empty shell. So you lock it up to protect it. And it’s hard to unlock once it’s been sealed.” His voice hoarsened, and he closed his eyes, fighting for control.

  After a few seconds, he felt a gentle touch on his arm.

  Blinking away the moisture that clouded his vision, he swallowed. “Sorry.”

  “Don’t be.” Her tone was soft. Sympathetic. And when he turned his head toward her, her eyes were moist as well. “That’s what I’m talking about, Luke. What you just did. It’s okay to share that with people you care about. It’s what helps them feel close to you. And love you. Could you use a hug, maybe?”

  Once more his throat tightened. Without speaking, he rose and held out his arms. Hannah stepped in, and he folded her close.

  As he clung to her in the quiet morning, the silence broken only by the lap of waves on the shore and the rustle of the tall grass behind the beach, swaying in the wind, he let out a long, unsteady breath. It had been years since anyone had comforted him like this. And it felt good.

  “From the time you came home on your first leave when I was eight, looking all impressive in your uniform, you were my hero.” Hannah’s voice was muffled against his chest. “You still are.”

  He shook his head. “I’m no hero, Hannah.”

  “Then why did the army give you the Silver Star, among other medals?”

  “I just did what I had to do.”

  “With honor and courage. And that makes you a hero in my book. Not to mention what you’re doing for Carlos.” She pulled back and searched his face. “Do you remember how in awe of you I was on that first leave?”

  A smile tugged at one corner of his mouth as he pictured the little blonde pixie who’d followed him everywhere. “I remember I couldn’t shake you.”

  She made a face and nudged him with her shoulder. “I hung on your every word. And I was desperate to impress you. To show you I was courageous, too. That’s why I climbed the apple tree out back. Instead, I fell on my face and got a bloody nose. Do you remember that?”

  The image of Hannah’s tear-streaked cheeks niggled at the edge of his memory. “Vaguely.”

  “It’s a vivid memory for me. And what you said stuck with me all these years, too. After you extracted a promise from me never to climb that tree again, you sat me on your knee and said, ‘Being brave isn’t about doing a dangerous thing, Hannah. It’s about doing the right thing. Even when it’s hard.’”

  “I said that?”

  “Yeah. I guess it was one of your rare profound moments.” She smirked at him, then grew more serious. “But it was good advice, Luke. And maybe it applies to Kelsey.”

  The conversation had come full circle.

  “I’m not sure what the right thing is with her.”

  “That, dear brother, is where prayer comes in. Ask God.” With one final squeeze, she extricated herself from his arms and folded up her chair. “You ready to call it a morning? I told Dorothy I’d be there by noon today to help with the lunch rush.”

  “Yeah.” He picked up his own c
hair as well as Kelsey’s and tucked them under one arm. Then he retrieved his coffee and his neighbor’s lidded, insulated mug. The white residue around the lip suggested it contained milk.

  As he trudged through the tall grass behind Hannah and started up the steps, her advice replayed in his mind. Ask God. It was the same advice Carlos had always dispensed. Except the young medic had used more colloquial language: when in doubt, give God a shout. And it had always been delivered with a grin.

  Well, Luke had plenty of doubts when it came to Kelsey. Should he try again to connect? Make the first move toward sharing confidences? Take the risk of getting involved, knowing he was leaving in four short weeks?

  At the top of the steps, he stopped and glanced toward her cottage. It showed no signs of life. But she was inside. No way could she have gotten ready for work and left already.

  “Hannah, I’m going to drop Kelsey’s stuff off at her house.”

  His sister acknowledged his comment with a wave and kept moving toward their deck.

  Detouring toward his neighbor’s, Luke circled around the small cluster of trees rather than cutting through them. If she was outside, by chance, he didn’t want to startle her. Been there, done that.

  But the yard and screened porch were deserted. Leaning the chair against the railing beside the two steps, he opened the porch door and set the mug inside. Away from the bugs.

  As he turned to leave, he thought he detected a flutter in the curtains at one of the back windows. Was she watching him? Hoping he’d knock—or praying he’d leave? In their short acquaintance, he’d seen both loneliness and fear in her eyes. Which dominated at the moment?

  Instead of waiting to find out, Luke retraced his steps across the lawn. Kelsey needed to be receptive to a second overture, or it would fail as dismally as his clumsy earlier effort had. And his instincts told him today wasn’t the day to try again.