Bonds of Courage

by Lynda Aicher

  She changed into her bikini, slipped shorts over the bottoms and whipped her hair into a messy bun. Heeled sandals on, she donned her sunglasses as she stepped out the back door.

  The annual volleyball competition was in full swing by a mixed group of adults and teens in the sand pit by the lake. Another group of parents and kids were down at the water’s edge, most splashing in the water to shouts of summer fun.

  The cluster of people under the large shade trees included her dad and Rick. The same age as her, her cousin had been the tormenting brother she’d never had. He still had the charming smile, lean build and knack for being “one of the guys” that had made him popular in high school. It was those exact traits that stripped away the years and swept her back to the scared seventeen-year-old girl who’d stupidly trusted him to have her back.

  He caught her eye, a thin smile curling over his lips as he lifted his beer in a salute.

  She kept her face flat and turned away. Loathing churned in her stomach, but he’d never see that. Years of exploiting the free counseling services at college had given her the mental tools to endure events where he was present. He might be the prick who’d shattered her trust with his betrayal, but he wasn’t taking her family from her too.

  She found her mother and a few aunts organizing the food tables. Two large grills stood ready and the scent of barbeque rolled from a smoker, making her mouth water.

  “Hey, Mom,” she said as she waved to everyone. She set her sunglasses on top of her head and glanced down the selection of salads, dips, sides and just about everything a Fourth of July party could have. “The food looks great.”

  “Vanessa.” Her mom’s hug was encompassing and welcomed but contained only a bit of the warmth that Liv’s had. “You’re late.”

  At five-two and fifty pounds overweight, her mother compensated for her size by maintaining a stiff demeanor and a take-no-prisoners attitude. No one pushed her around unless she wanted them to.

  “It’s a party. How can I be late?” She brushed her mom’s admonishment off with a laugh. Years of withstanding digs like that meant they had little effect on her anymore.

  She greeted everyone, rounds of half hugs and well-wishes given. Today was for fun, she reminded herself. Not fights or trips into the past.

  “I left the desserts inside,” she told her mom. She crunched on a carrot stick and squinted into the glare off the water. The pontoon was half-filled with adults ready to get away from the kids. That was Uncle Joe’s one condition—no one under the age of eighteen was allowed.

  She dropped her sunglasses back on her nose and snatched a couple of bags of unopened chips off the table. “I’m off to the party boat. See you in a while.”

  A wave to her dad as she passed garnered an air kiss blown her way, which she returned. Rick was three chairs away, and she caught his frown before he hid it behind his beer bottle.

  “I’ll talk to you when I get back, Dad.” She raised her voice for him to hear and ignored the chills that covered her skin whenever her cousin was too close.

  She pointed to the boat and got a smiling nod from her dad. Six foot and built like a tree stump, her bear of a father always held the attention of any crowd, no matter the size. His deep laugh and strong opinions hadn’t wavered as his dark hair grayed and his bulk morphed from muscle to fat.

  She moved into the sun and let the heat chase away the lingering effects of being near Rick. She had a few stress-free hours ahead that she was going to enjoy.

  Liv stood on the boat, hands moving while she talked to a man who was bent over the rail on the far side. Calves and thighs chiseled from solid muscle strained below navy swim trunks stretched tight across a fine ass.

  Flashes of deja vu clashed with her surroundings. Her forward motion stumbled to a halt and she grasped the dock pole for support. Her brain refused to put the pieces together, yet her vision dimmed, the darkness tunneling down to a single pinpoint of wavering light.

  “Got ’em.”

  The deep voice sucked the breath from her lungs before he swung up, a pair of sunglasses held high. His triumphant grin made it impossible for her to breathe.

  Holden. Holden. What was he doing here?

  “Hey. You okay, V?” Her uncle’s voice echoed down a long tube that rang hollow and empty.

  Holden didn’t belong here.

  “Vanessa?”

  This was her family. Her world. Not his.

  “V!”

  She shook her head, retreat screaming through every muscle rigid with denial. Liv whipped around, her wide smile oblivious to the havoc she’d caused.

  “Surprise, V.” Liv held her arms out toward Holden. “I brought you a date.”

  Holden. Date. The two words didn’t mesh besides the primary one that hammered in her mind. My submissive.

  Here with her family.

  No!

  The grin on Holden’s face fell, the easy joy disappearing in a flash. Had she said that aloud? A glance showed that the rest of the boat occupants were staring at her, a mix of shock and confusion in their expressions.

  Liv’s laughter broke the tension that gripped the air. “Okay. I’m kidding,” she said around her bubbling chuckle. She jumped onto the dock and grabbed Vanessa’s cold hand. “But I had you going, didn’t I?”

  A round of laughter and calls of “good one” had the relaxed vibe back for the pontoon crew.

  “All aboard,” Uncle Joe called out, hands cupped around his mouth to project his voice.

  On the boat, Holden hadn’t moved. He stood tall and proud, hands on his hips, the expanse of his bare chest gleaming with lotion and sweat in the blistering sun.

  “You’re going to burn,” she said, the comment mundane and so far from her misfiring emotions that she almost laughed, a hysterical cackle that would’ve had her family shoving her into the psych ward.

  His half smile was somehow an apology that she caught and rejected.

  Liv stepped in front of her, cutting off her locked stare on Holden. Vanessa blinked and jerked back as the rest of the world came rushing back to her. Kids splashed in the water behind her and the jeers from the volleyball game flowed across the lawn to remind her where she was.

  “You okay?” Concern lined Liv’s brown eyes. “What’s wrong?”

  The anger flashed hot and defensive to lash out at her sister. “What is he doing here?”

  Liv’s eyes went wide. “Hey. Back off. I invited him.”

  “But why?” Her jaw ached with the tension it took to keep her voice lowered.

  “He’s my friend.” Liv motioned to the boat. “Just like Shelly and Joan.”

  Vanessa glanced at the two women who worked at the center with Liv. “When did Holden become your friend?” The judgment in her voice couldn’t be missed, just like the icy edge around the word friend.

  “Are you serious?” Liv stepped closer, her eyes narrowing in a rare show of anger. “You might think you control everything, but you do not get to tell me who I can and can’t be friends with. Now get off your fucking high horse and try to have fun for once.”

  Her fucking high horse? Oh, really? “I’m not the one who brought a jock here to flaunt around. What are trying to prove? Huh, Vivian?” She snapped her sister’s real name out like it was a curse.

  “That’s all you see, isn’t it?” Liv moved until their faces aligned in a bitter showdown that reached years into their past. “An athlete. Heaven forbid you look past his occupation and see the man beneath.”

  “I know the man beneath. Do you?”

  “Oh, really?” Liv arched a brow, the cocky doubt scratching over Vanessa’s raw nerves. “And how would you possibly know that?”

  “I know firsthand how jocks treat women, plus I work with men like him every goddamn day.”

  “So now t
hey’re all the same?” Liv shook her head in mock sympathy. “All athletes aren’t like them.” The emphasis on the them identified whom she meant. “I never realized how closed-minded you were.”

  “At least I don’t make myself easy prey anymore.”

  Liv inhaled and the emotions warred on her face. “Low blow, even for you.” She spun around, her ponytail whipping out in a fan inches from Vanessa’s face.

  The guilt was instantaneous. “Liv.” She grabbed her sister’s arm. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”

  Liv held herself stiffly before she looked over her shoulder at Vanessa. “It was.” The low agreement had more impact than a slap. Her sister jerked her arm away and turned back to the boat.

  “We heading out of here, Joe?” Liv’s voice was full of liveliness as she vaulted back aboard. The lightning-quick cheer much like Vanessa’s icy shell. Their defense mechanisms were vastly different, but effective just the same.

  “You coming, V?” Uncle Joe waited by the helm, the boat loaded and ready to go.

  She glanced at her sister, but Liv had her back to the dock, her hands braced on the rail as she stared over the water. Vanessa’s stomach rolled and the chip bags crinkled in protest beneath her clenched grip.

  Her gaze shot to Holden as he stepped onto the dock, hand extended toward her in a silent request. The need to refuse tore at her gut and screamed at the violation. His presence threatened more than her secrets, and her instinct told her that he knew that, yet he was here anyway.

  But everyone was staring at her now. She didn’t have to glance around to know that. The awareness prickled over her in a haunting reminder of past events when she’d been the focus of whispered jokes and speculation.

  Staying meant she’d be stuck on shore with Rick for hours, and that was far worse than being trapped on a boat with Holden. She slammed her sunglasses over her eyes and stepped past the man who insisted on banging against her boundaries.

  Backing down was out, but giving in wasn’t in her plans either.

  * * *

  The chill was an almost physical sensation as Vanessa brushed past Holden. One so strong he shivered. The blaring heat of the sun that baked down on his head and back couldn’t compete with the frost left in Vanessa’s wake.

  The Ice Queen was present and based on the wide berth the other passengers were giving her, he could tell everyone was aware of it.

  She was gorgeous and sexy in the tiny red bikini top and low-slung jean shorts. The messy bun showed off the graceful line of her neck and the haughty arch of her chin. It didn’t matter what she wore, her bearing was one of a proud Mistress to him. The longing to worship every inch of her exposed flesh swamped him with a desire that didn’t belong there.

  Shit. He closed the boat door and helped with the lines as they set out, a knot of dread coiled in his stomach. What had started out as a fun, relaxing day was now filled with unwanted tension, and there was no escape route. He was stuck with ten people he barely knew on a boat the size of a kid’s bedroom, until they decided the fun ended.

  Why in the hell did I think this was a good idea?

  “Here.”

  He jerked from his thoughts to see Liv holding his now-dry sunglass out to him. “Thanks,” he said as he put them on. At least he could stare at Vanessa without everyone knowing.

  Liv handed him a beer then moved a stack of towels over to sit beside him on the bench. She bumped shoulders in a friendly nudge before she took a swallow from her own beer. “Don’t worry about it.” She looked pointedly at the stern of the boat where Vanessa sat. “She’ll cool down eventually.”

  To Liv, maybe. He was pretty certain he’d fucked up everything he’d been building with Vanessa. Holden grunted a noncommittal response.

  “Why is she so mad at you?” Liv posed a good question. One he couldn’t answer.

  “I thought she was mad at you,” he tossed back.

  Her chuckle went a ways in easing the tightness that gripped his muscles. “She’s been frustrated with me my entire life.” Liv shrugged. “It keeps her on her toes.”

  “So how do I get back in her good graces?”

  “Stop talking to me for one.”

  Holden frowned, but a small tip of her head had him glancing down the boat to catch the glare Vanessa leveled on them. One that was clear even behind the shield of her sunglasses. If looks could kill... But it was also a challenge. Another one he had to tackle in order to have her.

  “Now that wouldn’t be any fun, would it?”

  Liv’s head fell back, an open laugh ringing true. “Oh, you will be so good for her.”

  He sat up, eyes narrowed. Thank God his own sunglasses hid his reaction. “What do you mean?” There was no way she knew about him and Vanessa. Did she? Did Liv know about her sister’s other life? The chills returned, perspiration flashing hot and cold on his skin.

  Liv shook her head, a sly smile filling her face before she took a drink from her bottle. He had to wait, hands clenched around his own bottle, for her to answer. At long last, she gave a small shrug, her smile softening. “I don’t know. But I know V, and there’s something between you two that she doesn’t want the rest of us to know about.”

  He forced down the urge to duck his head in guilt. “Why would you say that?”

  Shit, it felt like he was constantly digging for answers about Vanessa from Liv. Would he ever understand the woman beyond the Mistress?

  Liv glanced around then leaned closer, her voice lowered to a soft murmur over the purr of the motor and chatter of the other riders. “Vanessa doesn’t notice men. She usually doesn’t care about them that much. But she noticed you.”

  “Is that why you invited me?”

  Her smile was impish now. How could one person’s smile communicate so much? “Maybe.”

  He gave her a playful shove. “Troublemaker.”

  “Always.” She laughed, standing. She made small talk with others as she maneuvered her way to the back of the boat. A bleached blonde with features resembling the sisters cut off her discussion with the man on her other side and moved to another open seat without saying a word. Liv plopped down next to her sister, her patented smile in place.

  Holden wanted to stare at the sisters to catch every nuance of their exchange, but he forced his gaze over the lake. The water was busy with other boaters, some towing skiers or tubes behind them, others coasting along like they were. Uncle Joe directed the newer-model boat toward the middle of the large lake, the pace fast enough to leave a wake behind them.

  He chatted a bit with the people sitting around him, the conversation floating from the youth center to the weather to people he didn’t know. To his surprise, no one brought up the Glaciers or hockey, but then, Liv hadn’t shared that information when she’d introduced him and not everyone was a hockey fan.

  His beer turned warm and the sun heated his chest and face from a cloudless sky. It was a perfect summer day meant to be spent exactly like this. If only Vanessa wasn’t furious with him. The prickly daggers pierced him across the span of the boat every time he looked at her.

  Eventually, Uncle Joe piloted the boat into a small lagoon already dotted with a number of other boats. A few guys jumped up to help set the anchor as the boat slowed and the motor was cut.

  A firecracker exploded in the distance, a round of cheers going up. People swam and splashed in the water, laughter filling the air along with calls of greeting between the boats. A few inner tubes were tossed into the water from where they’d been strapped to the small platform at the stern. It wasn’t long before bodies followed, the resulting splashes yanking squeals of protest from those still on board.

  Holden set his sunglass next to his discarded T-shirt and dove in seconds later. The cool water surrounded him in a refreshing plunge that dropped his body temperature instantly. He surfa
ced, wiping the water from his face as he treaded water.

  Around him, others swam and played, but Vanessa remained on the boat. Her head was turned his way and he swore she stared at him, or more precisely, glared. Damn it. Her displeasure was a physical ache that strangled his chest.

  If he’d known how his presence would hurt her, he never would’ve come. Yeah, he’d guessed she’d be unhappy or annoyed, but he’d seriously underestimated the depth of her displeasure. It was pain he sensed. It might be blocked behind a wall of anger, but its root seemed to be based on hurt.

  He turned away and struck out in a front crawl across the lagoon. The repetitive action leveled his emotions until there was only the water, the motion and the slow ache that grew in his muscles. He skirted around a group of swimmers, his breaths even and measured.

  Vanessa—she wouldn’t leave his mind. Somehow, without his full consent, she’d become the center of his world. But he was better with her, or he could be. It was more than the dominance too.

  And the closer he tried to get, the harder she pushed him away.

  So he swam. He’d have to go back. The boat was his only ride. But for now, he gave her what she wanted the only way he could.

  He gave her space.

  Chapter Sixteen

  She was being a bitch. A part of her acknowledged that, even as she struggled with the warring factions that ripped her open inside.

  Exposed, that was how she felt, and she guarded that weakness with a cold shield that repelled even her strongest adversary. But her kryptonite was her sister.

  Liv nudged her. Vanessa swayed with the motion, the tension loosening in her muscles with her sister’s persistence. But her gaze stayed on Holden as he swam away from the boat.

  It was irrational, but she couldn’t take her eyes from him. The lagoon was protected, the water not exceedingly deep or filled with hidden currents, yet she worried. She didn’t want to. Didn’t understand why she did. He was healthy, strong and an obviously good swimmer.