He remembered the songs she used to sing, humming in the hot kitchen while she prepared the baked goods for the day. He recalled the Bible stories she used to read. He thought about her love of flowers and cinnamon rolls. Small details about her life surfaced in his mind at the most unlikely times.
He trudged into his hotel room and threw his key on the dresser. After taking a long, hot shower, he fell into bed.
Lord, please be with Toni and her mom, help them to heal from their grief. Please, let your Holy Spirit comfort them. Lord, I need help. I’ll be honest with you, God, I’m still struggling with my own grief. I don’t understand why my mom had to die like she did, suffering like that. Also, Lord, please give me some guidance about Toni. I love that woman, but I’m not sure what to do about it. I don’t think it’s the right time to tell her how I feel, or if I should ever tell her that I love her. Would she want to know that I have deep feelings for her? Please help me, Lord. Amen.
Chapter 32
Toni blinked several times. The bright sunshine spilled into her bedroom. It was definitely time to get up. She noticed the empty chair near her doorway. Jason had been sitting there before she’d fallen asleep. She tossed her blanket off, sniffing. The chicory scent of her mom’s favorite coffee wafted through the air. She pulled herself out of bed, yawning, made her way toward the kitchen. The floor creaked beneath her weight. Her mother sat at the table reading her Bible.
“Hi, Mom.” She kissed her cheek, spotting a white bakery box on the table. She gestured toward the container. “What’s in there?”
She closed her Bible. “Chocolate cinnamon rolls. One of the sisters from the church brought those over for our breakfast.”
Toni poured a cup of coffee, added cream and sugar, joined her mother at the table. “I’m not hungry right now.”
“Neither am I.” They sat in silence for a few minutes. “Antoinette, you look so tired. Why don’t you go back to bed? The funeral isn’t until two o’clock.”
She wiped the sleep from her eyes, enjoyed the sun shining through the window. She did want to crawl back into bed. “Mom, are you sure you don’t want any company?”
“I’m fine. The people from church will be here by noon to take us to the funeral.” She pushed her reading glasses farther up her nose. Her mother’s eyes were red and tired, but Toni sensed that reading the Bible gave her mother strength. “You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”
Toni sipped her coffee. “Yes?”
“Who is Sterling? You introduced him to me yesterday, but I had no idea who he was. He didn’t go to high school with you.”
Toni explained how she’d met Sterling and that he lived in Florida.
“Well, he seems quite taken with you.”
“Huh?” Her mom didn’t know what she was talking about.
“He seems like a nice young man, traveling all the way from Florida to attend your dad’s funeral. He must really like you.”
“You don’t understand. Sterling just happened to be in this area for a food convention. I told him about dad dying, and he said he’d stop by to visit and he’d go to the funeral since he was already here.”
“Well, if you say so but I think he has feelings for you.”
Toni resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She knew her mom wanted her to get married and give her some grandchildren one day. Sometimes her mom read more into a situation than was necessary. Sterling was a good friend and that was it. Besides, how would their romantic feelings grow since they were separated by hundreds of miles? She’d heard of people having long-distance relationships but she knew that wouldn’t work for her. She couldn’t imagine being in a relationship with somebody and not being able to see them often.
She blinked, took another sip of coffee. But wasn’t that what it would be like between her and Jason? Her feelings for Jason were growing so fast that she really didn’t know what to do. Without a doubt, she was falling in love with him, but she honestly didn’t know what would happen between them once he returned to Chicago. Would he possibly ask her to move to Chicago with him? Jason was so kind, compassionate and caring. He would never ask her to move to Chicago unless he was going to ask her to marry him.
Marriage to Jason? Where had that thought come from? She couldn’t let her imagination run away from her like that. If she started thinking those romantic thoughts, then when he returned to Chicago, it’d be almost impossible to get over him.
“Antoinette?”
“Yes, Mom?”
“Jason left this note for you.” She pointed to the slip of paper by Toni’s purse.
Toni read the note, smiled, and hid it away in her wallet. She kissed her mother’s cheek again before heading back to bed.
Hours later, Jason’s deep voice awakened her. Jason and Sheila were talking to her mother and a few of the sisters from church. Toni jumped out of bed and quickly prepared for the funeral.
During her three days in Blue Spring, she’d gone shopping for her funeral dress. She’d chosen a striking black dress. She’d been so stressed out over the last month that she’d lost a few pounds, going down one dress size. In addition to the dress, she’d also chosen a black hat decorated with a white ribbon.
She entered the living room, and Jason stood when he spotted her. She took a deep breath, unable to help herself. She just had to stare at this amazing man. He looked gorgeous in his black and white suit. Their eyes locked. He approached her, taking her in his arms. “Hi, Toni.” He released her, stared at her. “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you.”
“Did you lose weight?”
She nodded. “It’s the stress.”
“You need to take better care of yourself.”
She couldn’t argue with him about that. Between her stress-induced stomach cramps, headaches, and sleepless nights, she’d often wondered if she should be making a trip to the doctor’s office for a checkup. Sheila hurried over to give her a hug. A huge lump formed in her throat. She tried to blink her tears away.
“Have you eaten?” asked Jason quietly. She shook her head. Food was the last thing on her mind. He led her into the kitchen, and she managed to eat a few bites of a chocolate cinnamon roll and some coffee.
Sheila rubbed Toni’s shoulder. “Hang in there, Toni.”
The services were being held at the church her mom had belonged to for many years. Toni had not realized, until she heard the women from the church talking to her mother, just how regular John Brown’s church attendance had become in the last year.
But her mother was still worried. Toni recalled the conversations she'd overheard between her mother and the church sisters while her father had been lying ill in the hospital. “I always wanted John to go forward in church so I would know he was saved. But he always said he wasn't ready to have everyone asking about what was going on between him and God. And now I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again.”
Everything happened so fast that Toni felt her mind could not keep up with all the activity. The limousine arrived, and even though Jason and Sheila were not family members, Toni wanted them to ride to the funeral with her and her mom. Her mom’s best friend, Mrs. Fielding, also rode with them. Soon they were on the road to the funeral. Jason sat on one side of her, and her mom sat on the other. She just wanted the day to be over. “Lord, help me through this,” Toni whispered to herself.
*
Toni had called out to the Lord! Did she even realize what she’d just said? When he’d heard her words, Jason tensed, trying to remain calm. Now was not the right time to ask Toni about what she’d said. He studied her, but she stared straight ahead, her eyes full of tears. She was so beautiful that just looking at her made his heart melt.
“Are you okay?” He caressed her shaky fingers, desperately wanting her to feel better. He could honestly say that he had an idea about how she felt since he’d recently lost his mom.
She barely nodded, staring straight ahead. Did she even realize that she had just called upon t
he Lord?
They were riding in a large black limousine. One of the brothers in Mrs. Brown’s church owned a limo service, and he was taking them to the funeral in style. He said he ran a tight, fair business, and Jason had overheard one of the church sister’s state that the church was going to pay for the limo. It was good to see how the congregation was pulling together to help Mrs. Brown.
Jason held Toni’s hand as they approached the church. Cars filled every parking space on the lot. Mourners made their way toward the small white church, wearing shades of black, many of the ladies wearing hats. Once they got inside, he eyed the crowd and spotted Sterling right away. The large man approached, going straight toward Toni. He pulled her into his big arms, practically forcing Jason to release her hand. She returned Sterling’s embrace, tears coursing down her cheeks. Sterling’s dark eyes were filled with warmth and tenderness. He finally released Toni.
Jason gritted his teeth. In his opinion, this big dude had hugged Toni entirely too long, and Toni was too naïve to see that Sterling was attracted to her. “Sterling, it was so good of you to come.” She sniffed, giving him a watery smile.
“I told you I’d be here for you. Remember the promise we made at the convention.” After he’d hugged her again, he made his way into the sanctuary.
Promise? What promise was he talking about? He studied Toni. She was now talking to someone else who hugged her, offering condolences. When they entered the sanctuary, walking toward the front, Jason’s heart pounded when he spotted Eva sitting in the front of the church. This section had been reserved for family members.
She actually looked sane. Her hair was combed, and she sported red lipstick. She stood when she saw Toni. He immediately spotted Eva’s low-cut, short, tight black dress that emphasized her thin, gaunt frame. She wasn’t wearing any pantyhose on her skinny legs. She also wore high-heeled black shoes. Several of the men were openly staring at Eva. He witnessed one teenaged boy giving Eva a slow smile, as if he were approving her attire.
This was awful. Eva didn’t even have enough sense to dress appropriately for a funeral. Hank just stood beside Eva, his broad shoulders hunched. He wore a black and white suit that was too big for him. How did Eva find out about the funeral? He assumed another family member had informed her. The family section had some relatives that Jason had not yet met. He figured he’d meet them after the funeral.
Eva boldly stepped forward, pulling Toni into a hug. Her hands shook when she pulled away from Toni. She also hugged Toni’s mother. She took Mrs. Brown’s hand, and then she clutched Toni’s hand. “Toni, Aunt Iris, I’m so so sorry to hear about this.” She sniffed, but her eyes were dry. Jason figured this was an act, and he wondered what Eva was after. “Toni, I’ll come visit you at the bakery later this month to make sure you’re okay.” She kissed Toni’s cheek, leaving a bright smudge of lipstick on her face.
Toni said nothing, just stared at Eva before eyeing Hank.
Toni’s stunned expression haunted him. She was scared, Jason could feel it. He took her hand, led her to the front of the church. An usher came forward giving Toni a Kleenex to wipe Eva’s lipstick off her face. Jason barely had time to digest Eva’s behavior before he scanned the church, zoning in on Brian, Toni’s old boyfriend. He quickly entered the sanctuary, taking a seat in the back.
Sheila had told him a little bit about Toni’s awful relationship with Brian. The dude gave him a bad feeling. He slightly raised his thin nose into the air, glaring down on the crowd as if they were scum. His dark suit fit him as if it’d been tailor-made. Phony. That’s the first word that jumped to his mind when he spotted the man. This day was so stressful and sad for Toni, and he just couldn’t understand why Brian and Eva had shown up. Their presence would make everything emotionally worse for Toni, he just knew it.
The previous night, while he’d fallen asleep, he’d wondered if someone from Toni’s hometown could be the one harassing her. When he’d talked to her about possible enemies, he’d not thought to mention her hometown. Was there someone here, in this church, perhaps from her childhood, who held a grudge against her?
The rest of the funeral went by in a blur. There had to be something he could do about Eva. He just wanted her to leave. When Brian had come forward after the funeral, Toni had again appeared stunned. Jason stayed by her side during the entire service. He just couldn’t leave her alone. What if Eva attacked her again? It’d taken days for the bruise on her face to heal from that first attack.
They stared at the body in the casket. Jason was struck again by how much Toni resembled her father. Their facial features were almost identical.
When the coffin was closed, Iris Brown pulled Toni into her arms, sobbing, her entire body shaking with grief. “John, John, will I ever see you again?”
Toni held her mom in her arms. “Hang on, Mom. You’ve just got to hang on to the love of God. You’ve got to believe that God is big enough to take care of that. I believe He is, and if I can believe it, then anybody can.”
Once the funeral was over, and the interment had taken place, everyone returned to the church for a meal. Jason still stuck beside Toni.
“I’m not leaving you.” He squeezed her cold hands.
She appeared pale and tired. She barely ate, claiming she was not hungry. Brian came forward after the meal was over, and Toni scrutinized him, her eyes wary. Unlike the others who’d approached, Brian didn’t hug her. He kept his hands in his pockets, appearing dejected. “Toni, I’m so sorry about your dad. He was a kind man.”
Jason frowned. How well did this guy know Toni’s dad? Sheila had told him that Brian and Toni had broken up, but their breakup was not on the best of terms.
“Thank you, Brian.” Her voice cracked, and she quickly took a sip of water, her hands shaking.
Brian remained, as if he wanted to say something else. But he walked away after a few awkward moments.
During the entire meal, Jason had observed Eva and Hank. They gobbled food like they’d had nothing to eat in days. They boldly licked their fingers, smacking their lips, enjoying the fried chicken dinner. Afterwards, they’d left to go outside, and then returned several minutes later. Jason figured they were going outside to smoke during these weird absences, but when Eva came into the dining hall, swaggering, Jason knew she was intoxicated. She probably had some alcohol in her car, and she’d been nipping at that when she went outside. Not wanting to worry Toni, he approached Eva and Hank.
“Could I talk to you two a minute?”
Surprisingly, they followed him outside. Hank stared at the ground.
“Eva, Toni doesn’t need anybody acting up right now.”
“What do you mean?” She got into his face, and he smelled the alcohol on her breath. “I can do whatever I want.” Pulling a flask from her purse, she took a drink.
Hank ignored his wife, shoved his hands in his pockets. At least he appeared sober.
“Hank, have you been drinking?”
He barely looked at Jason, shook his head. “No.”
Well, if Jason was able to force them to leave, then at least Hank would be able to drive. He doubted Eva was sober enough to handle driving a car right now. Jason sniffed. Hank smelled…bad. He smelled like he had not had a bath in days. What was up with the two of them? Just seeing them made him sick, and Toni certainly didn’t need this drama now. Again, he assessed the two of them. It wouldn’t surprise him if they’d been in trouble with the law before, and he could imagine that they’d take offense if he called the police. “I suggest you leave right now, or I’m calling the police.”
Eva smacked her lips. “You can’t call the police. We ain’t doing anything wrong.”
Jason glared at her. Lord, give me strength. I just want to slug this woman so bad that my hand aches. “There’s no alcohol allowed on this church property, so I suggest you leave. I’m calling the police if you don’t leave right now.”
Eva stared at him, meeting his intense gaze. When he pulled out his phone, she backed aw
ay.
“We’re going. Ain’t no need to act so stupid about somebody having a drink,” she hissed. Surprisingly, they walked away. Eva wobbled on her high-heeled shoes, leaning against Hank. They didn’t have a car? They walked here from their hotel? Jason pushed the questions from his mind, no longer wanting to think about Eva and Hank. He was just glad he was able to convince them to leave. When he returned to the dining area, his eyes swept the room, glad to see that Brian had also left. He shook his head, found Toni still seated where he’d left her. She was talking to Sheila and some of the other attendees.
He approached her, and she gave him a small smile. “Where’d you disappear to?”
Had she really missed him during the short time he’d been outside?
“I had to take care of something.”
She touched his arm. “Is everything okay?”
He nodded. “Everything is fine now.” Well, it was fine for the time being, anyway. For some reason, he sensed that was not the last time they’d be seeing Eva and Hank.
Chapter 33
On the following Sunday, Jason and Sheila returned to Blue Spring. Toni promised to meet Jason in the bakery on the afternoon of the Fourth of July, even though he insisted he could handle things alone. Sheila had volunteered to help him on the holiday.
“What if you need to find something in my office?” Toni had asked. “Nobody but me knows where anything is in all those piles.”
He tried to put her at ease. “Don’t worry about it. I can handle things on my own.”
While Jason and Sheila drove to Blue Spring, he smiled. Sheila gave him a sharp look. “Jason, what are you smiling about?”
Shades Of Chocolate (The Bakery Romance Series Book 2) Page 17
