More Than Lies

by N. E. Henderson

I’m out the door from the main lobby within seconds. The blast of cold wind hits me in the face with a smack, but I don’t care. I don’t know where I’m headed. I just know I can’t do this; not today, not ever. Trent is gone and I feel utterly lost. He didn’t do anything to deserve to die.

  “Tara.” At the same time Shawn says my name, his arms wrap around my waist, halting my movements away from the funeral home. I twist in his arms, bring my own up and wrapping them around his shoulders. I’m holding on for dear life, I know it and I’m sure he feels it too.

  “I can’t do this.” My words are mumbled as my face is buried into his neck. With my four-inch heels on, I’m just an inch below Shawn’s six foot two stature.

  “You have to and you will.” He snakes his hand further around my waist as the palm on his other hand glides up my back, stopping at the nap of neck. “For Trent, you can.” He squeezes the area of my neck reassuringly and I pull back, sniffling the snot that wants to roll down my nose back up.

  I nod my agreement. He’s right. I have no choice and this is my last moment to see my brother. Even if he is lying in a box that will seal shut and never open again.

  “I got you. I promise.” His words are like a balm on my shattered soul.

  About the time that I’m going to release Shawn, a soft hands lands down on my shoulder and squeezes. I disconnect myself from him and twist taking in Eve and Chance.

  “Hey, baby girl.” I practically leap onto her. I’m a few inches taller than Eve Matthews, but she isn’t your ordinary petite woman. Like Kylie, Eve makes up for her size in attitude and spunk, not to mention color. Eve is a lot to take in the first time you meet her. Chance calls her his living breathing canvas. Colorful ink is adorned all over her body. She really is a beautiful sight.

  “You came.” It’s the only words I can get out. The tears are starting to pour. The harder I try to hold them in, the more intense they seem to want to flow. I pull back from her and nod to Chance. He and Eve are best friends and practically connected at the hip. They both grew up with my brother. They were all really great friends, but Chance and Eve dropped out of high school early on; Eve in ninth grade and Chance left in tenth. Eventually, they left Mississippi and moved to Las Vegas, Nevada. Chance is a tattoo artist like Shawn and Eve a photographer. They’re both very talented. I know Chance has tried to get Shawn to move out west. I’m not sure why he never took the opportunity. Sure, the studio is doing great, but Shawn would get a lot more exposure in a big city like Vegas.

  Eve’s voice brings me out of my thoughts.

  “There aren’t many things that could get me to come back to this state, but I could never forgive myself if I didn’t come to say goodbye to him.” Eve is strong. I’ve often said she seems bigger than life. Emotions I’ve never seen her display are written loud and clear on her face. Her eyes are rimmed with red and her lip has a slight trimmer when she breathes out.

  Chance latches onto my wrist and pulls me into his warm arms for a brief hug.

  “Hey sweetheart.” Chance cups my face, applying a small amount of reassuring pressure, and then looks deep into my eyes briefly. He’s equally as striking as Eve with all the ink. Most are covered with the dark suit he’s wearing, but dragon’s claw is peeking out of his collar. Chance has jet-black hair, warm tanned skin and a pair of stunning diamond blue eyes. He belongs on the cover of one of those tattoo magazines…or maybe on a billboard. “He got you?” He gestures in Shawn’s direction and I nod. Chance does the same and then releases me seconds later. “We are going to head in.”

  Shawn pulls my back into his front once again and I soak up every ounce he gives me. “We need to do the same. Please go see him one last time.”

  Trent.

  My head bobs. It’s the best I can do. I need to do this.

  Lord, please give me strength.

  And he does.

  Within minutes I’m standing in front of the shiny black casket, peering down at the body inside. It’s not him, not really, I know that, but that doesn’t stop me from wishing he would open his eyes and this would all be a cruel joke.

  This reality blows.

  I can’t bring myself to touch his body. I don’t want to remember him as being cold and stiff; that was the opposite of who my brother was. My earliest memory is of my brother. He used to take me everywhere he went. He never left me behind when I was a small kid.

  “You were the greatest brother a girl could ever have. I hope you know that. I’m sorry if I never told you. I love you so much, Trent and I miss you. It shouldn’t have been you. You shouldn’t be gone. It’s not fair!” The tears are falling hard now. So hard, the form in front of me is a blur. “You were always there for me when I needed you. It’s like you had this sixth sense or something when it came to me. You just knew and you were there. Now you’re not here and I’m all alone.” I don’t want to be alone.

  Large hands wrap around my hips. Shawn’s been standing behind me this whole time. He steps into my space. His chest meets my back and I have to admit it’s helping having him here. It’s comforting and eases a fraction of the weight centered on my chest.

  “You’re not alone, Tara. You’ll never be alone.” His voice is a whisper for my ears only. He’s wrong, but I don’t correct him on it. I’ve gotten closer to Shawn since he confided in me that he was buying Southern Ink, now named Wicked Ink, as of Monday. Even so, friends we might be now, but I know it’ll be nothing more. I don’t want to let being with him that night jeopardize that, but deep down I know being friends will never be enough. “It’s time to go into the chapel.”

  I give Trent one last look before I let Shawn lead me away, away from my protection, away from the only love I’ve ever trusted, and away from my big brother.

  I miss you, Trent.

  We make it inside the large room that resembles a church. I guess technically it is, just inside a funeral home. Every pew is filled with bodies. Some I recognize. Most I don’t. I’m lead to the front row where my father and mother are seated.

  “You were supposed to be in here ten minutes ago.” She whispers yells as we walk past.

  “Katherine.” My father does the same to her. In warning it sounds like, but after earlier I know he’s back to taking her side. Everything he said on Christmas morning must not have meant jack.

  My father doesn’t utter another word, but his eyes scrutinize us as we take our seats. I sit next to my dad and Shawn sits down next to me. He rests his arm on the back of the pew behind me and the other he takes my hand. Within a few seconds, the hand he has resting behind me moves closer. Shawn places his warm palm on the back of my neck, stroking softly. His touch allows me to breathe a little easier.

  The preacher conducts the service. I’m sure for what it is, it would be considered lovely, but I can’t view it as such. This is the worst day of my life and even more difficult than the night I found out he was dead. This makes everything too real. And then there are Kylie’s cries coming from behind me…it’s all I hear the whole time.

  The funeral ended with a graveside service after the chapel service. The entire day has drug out. I’m spent, but fuck I can’t leave Tara now.

  It’s close to nightfall as it is and everyone close to Trent is at the Evan’s home. Tara’s parents still live a few blocks away from my own so I’ll be heading there to crash at some point. I want to talk Tara into coming with me. She’s spent enough time around that bitch she’s forced to call a mother. She needs to be around the ones that love her effortlessly. That’s my family.

  Matt’s voice brings me away from my thoughts.

  “Damn,” Matt breathes out with a slight shake of his head followed by a small remorseful laugh. “You guys remember when Trent got so pissed off and wanted to murder Shawn for getting Taralynn put in in-school suspension for five days?” My eyes snap up to hers. She’s staring at me from the comfort of Matt’s lap. They’ve been off for months now, but you couldn’t tell it right now. He’s finally acting like a best friend shoul
d. Comforting her when she needs it.

  My gaze is the first to falter as the memory of that day sinks into my head, playing out like an old movie right in front of my eyes.

  “Mr. Braden,” Principal MacIntyre blows out as he leans forward in his oversized black leather chair from behind his equally oversized dark wooden desk. “I’m at my wit’s end here. I’m at the end of my ropes with you. I’ve tried, for nearly four years, I’ve tried to get through to you. Nothing’s worked!”

  Wonk, wonk, wonk.

  It’s the same speech I get every time I’m in his office, sitting in this same ugly ass brown chair. As often as I’m in here, you’d think I’d become accustom to the hard, uncomfortable wood underneath my ass. But I haven’t and I swear the man keeps me in here longer each time.

  “Mr. Mac, it’s not you. It’s me.” I stifle the laugh that’s trying to escape my mouth. He doesn’t like my humor. Oh, well, I do.

  “This,” he fumes with a stern tone as he points his finger at me. “Mr. Braden isn’t a laughing matter. There isn’t any humor in the situation you’ve gotten yourself into today.” I toss my head back as I grip the sides of the chair and slouch down until my head meets the hard surface behind me. What the hell is his damn problem? I sit up, looking him in the eyes once more.

  “It was a stupid joke. Come on, even you’ve got to find the humor in it.” He takes a deep breath, pulling air in through his noise before releasing it via his mouth.

  “No, Shawn, I don’t. That’s just it. No one but yourself finds the things you do funny.”

  “Now that’s just hurtful. Plenty of people were laughing throughout the halls earlier.”

  “Shawn, you’re failing the grasp the severity of this.”

  “If you’re planning on suspending me, then please go ahead and get it ove—” There is a light knock on the door before I can finish my statement. As Mr. MacIntyre looks past me, I turn in my seat to see who’s decided to prolong my stay in this chair. Without being given permission to enter, the door opens slowly. Tara appears within seconds with a nervous, scared shitless expression across her face. If I didn’t already know she works in the principal’s office during third period, I’d think this was the first time she’s ever been in here.

  Tara is the good girl. No, let me take that back. Even good girls get into trouble every now and again. Not her; not little miss perfect girl. Tara reminds me of a rose, just as it’s starting to bloom, exceptionally beautiful, perfection in all things…superior. Like I said, little miss perfect.

  “Miss Evans, what can I help you with? And please make it quick, I’m in the middle of something.” He looks back at me, only briefly, but I know I’ve been successful in getting on his nerves today. Ah, the joy of high school.

  Tara enters the room, closing the door behind her then proceeds to walk closer to where I’m sitting. Her hesitant eyes meet mine, only for a moment before she takes the seat to my right and then looks straight ahead at Principal MacIntyre. She doesn’t say anything for a few long beats, as if she is trying to collect her thoughts. I’m baffled as to why she is even in here.

  “I have,” her whispered words are followed by a short pause. She looks down then glances back up as she straightens her posture and takes a gulp of air. “I need to tell you something, Mr. Mac.”

  “Go on, Taralynn, I’m waiting.” Mr. Mac’s voice is much softer as he speaks to Tara versus when he was addressing me. Go figure, she has him wrapped around her finger too. I sit back in my chair, proceeding to lean my head back and slouch down once more. I’ll never find a comfortable position, but I might as well make the best of it while she takes her sweet time.

  “It was me.” My ears perk up. Why do I get the feeling she’s in here about me? Was it the look she gave me, the emotions in her eyes, or her words? I’m not sure. “I did it. I wrote Holly’s number across the lockers, not Shawn.”

  Silence.

  The room is silent. I sit up, looking to my right where Tara is sitting, not looking at me, but chewing on the left side of her bottom lip as she awaits Principal Mac’s reply. Hell, I’m waiting for it too because I’m not sure I heard her correctly. Did she really come in here and confess to something I did? Not Tara. No way did I hear that right. What the hell is wrong with this girl? Why on earth would she take the blame for me? Tara may not hate me, but she surely doesn’t like me.

  “Miss Evans,” Mr. Mac finally speaks. “You don’t expect me to believe that, do you?” His eyebrows are pulled in and he’s staring at Tara as if he’s trying to read her. He probably is. He’s always doing that. He thinks he can read me like a book, but I’m not that transparent to anyone.

  “Mr. Mac, with all due respect, and I really mean that, I’m not sure it actually matters what you believe in this case. I’m telling you I did it. And you don’t have any real proof that Shawn wrote that message, do you?” Her hands clasps together in her lap and she is squeezing them tightly as if she doesn’t want to chicken out and back down from the lie that just spilled from her lips.

  Taralynn Evans just lied!

  Holy shit, I never thought I’d see the day. On top of it, she lied for me. Why, I have no idea. It makes no sense. It’s not like I’m scared to get in trouble. The worst he can do, is suspend me from school for a few days, maybe even a week. Okay, been there, done that, not a big deal. I few days off will be nice.

  “Other than his confession in my office, he and friends laughing about it, I’d say I have enough to go on. Now, Miss Evans, I’m going to overlook this and you’re going to go back to class and I don’t want to see you in my office again unless it’s during third period and you’re working in here. Is that clear?” So he does have a fierce voice when it comes to the perfect one. Hell, his tone might be bordering on scary…if I were a girl.

  “No, Mr. MacIntyre, I’m sorry but we aren’t. I’m telling you, it was me, not Shawn. And like you just said, you don’t have any real proof Shawn did it.” I’m getting whiplash I think. Tara’s voice has taken on a bold, confidence I’ve never heard before. I might even like it, if her dumb ass weren’t in here trying to get me out of trouble.

  “Very well, Ms. Evans, I’ll humor you.” He relaxes into the softness of his plush chair, leaning back as he continues to speak to the crazy chick I’m wondering if I know at all. “Please explain to me, why on earth you would write, “For quick and easy fun, call x number”, and that number being Holly Torres’ home phone number? Please tell me, because I’m dying to know that reason.” Sarcasm is dripping off his lips.

  Tara is silent for a moment; searching for an answer I’m certain. If I weren’t still in shock, I’d probably be rolling on the floor laughing because that’s exactly what this is. This is laughable. She is laughable. No one in their right mind would buy Taralynn ‘perfect’ Evans being malicious to another person and destroying school property too.

  Maybe I did take that stunt a little too far, but the way I see, that bitch deserved it. I told Mason and the others it was because she went around telling people around school we were dating, we aren’t, and I don’t date. I screwed that whore once just like any other girl. I don’t do seconds, but the real reason; the reason I don’t want to even face was because of Tara.

  Holly had sex with Tara’s douchebag of a boyfriend. Not only did she sleep with him, she recorded it on her phone and text the video to Tara. I guess the only bright side of the deal was that Tara broke up with the loser.

  I’m ripped from my thoughts when the feel of Tara entwining our hands catches my attention causing me to glance down. She still isn’t looking at me. Her attention is on our principal. I cut my eyes to him as well. He’s staring at our tangled limbs too. An eyebrow is raised, but other than that he isn’t giving anything away and I can’t read him.

  “I was jealous.” Come again?

  “Say what?” He’s as stunned as I am I think.

  “Jealousy. You know, the green eyed monster. When someone—” He stops her.

  “Tar
alynn, I’m aware of what it means, but I don’t understand why you would be jealous of her.” He scrunches up his nose. Holly is pure trash. I don’t say that about many people, but the bitch is. My dick didn’t seem to care at the time I fucked her though.

  “Because,” she glances my way giving me a look that tells me she wants me to go along with whatever she says. “She made everyone in school believe Shawn was dating her.” Her hand tightens around mine as her words come out. “He’s not with her.” She says it as if it’s obvious. To me it is. To everyone it should be obvious. I wouldn’t date that bitch if she were the last chick on earth. If I were smarter, I never would have had sex with her in the first place.

  “Taralynn.” Principal Mac breathes her name out. “That’s all in well, but—” He doesn’t get to finish.

  “He’s with me.” Say what? “That’s why I did it. She deserved it. Don’t you understand that?” Damn. If I didn’t know better I’d believe Tara and I were dating. She sounds like she believes the words coming out of her mouth.

  “You want me to believe the two of you are dating?” He holds up his hands before Tara said a word. “Not only that, but you were the one to degrade a fellow students self-worth and deface school property? Does that sum it up, Taralynn?” Dude sounds a little ticked off.

  “Yes, sir.”

  His eyes cut to mine. With that look I know he’s asking me if I’m going to allow her to take my blame. That look also pulls me out of whatever it is that’s been going on since she took my hand. I’m not admitting this to anyone just how great it feels. I can’t let Tara do this. Her parents will flip the fuck out.

  “Tara, come on.” I slide my hand out from her and sit up. Turning in the chair, I face her. “There’s no point in this. I can handle what Principal Mac dishes. I always do.”

  “No, Shawn.” Her words are bitten out then she turns to face me. “Not this time. He’s not going to suspend you. He’s going to expel you. You won’t graduate.”

  I’m speechless. For the first time in my life, I have no words.