Once Upon A Quest: Paranormal Romance Reverse Harem Novel #1

by Joanna Mazurkiewicz

  “I’m wearing my boots.” I glared toward her back while she was digging through that damnable closet. “I must have a suitable place to carry my knives. I’m afraid putting them between my breasts would be catastrophic. My breasts, although not as nice as yours, are still quite acceptable and I’m keen on keeping them.”

  Bertha had the nerve to laugh at me. I did not find this funny at all. Didn’t she know I never wore dresses? I thought my regular attire made that perfectly clear. Apparently not. And she was giving me no choice.

  “Ah, here we go.” She pulled out a black button-down top and a red skirt. Upon closer inspection, I noticed it had a huge split straight up the middle. Oh, my! Did Bertha expect me to fight with my naughty bits showing? This was simply indecent!

  “I’m not wearing that.” I pointed toward the offensive garment. “I’d rather not put my lady parts on display while rescuing my sister and killing dragons.” No. this simply wouldn’t do!

  “Don’t be such a prude, my dear,” she said and then continued, “Your naughty bits will be covered and nothing else of the sort will render you indecent, even if you fall on your arse.”

  “I don’t see how that is possible.” I sighed, knowing I was to be given no choice in the matter. I would most likely suffer yet another humiliation, in a dress no less.

  “Not to worry. I’ve made it so you may wear something beneath it; this way, even when you fall, and I’m certain you will, the only thing that will be seen is a pair of short black trousers covering your arse.”

  “You’re not helping here, Bertha.” I continued to look at the shirt. Now, it didn’t look half bad, but the skirt. Dear God. Lucy would have a fit if she saw me wearing something like that. Then I smiled. The look on her face would be priceless and most likely take her mind off of the dreadful situation we were in. This might just work.

  “Stop your whining and try the dress on, dear. You’ll see once you have it on. Then we’ll tame that mess on your head.”

  Wait. Did she just insult my hair? Yes, yes, she did. Well, it hadn’t had a decent combing in days, so she was right, I decided. I was certain it was a dreadful mop tied to my head. Damn. The combing part might hurt a bit. Oh, well. It was the least of my worries.

  “All right, let’s get on with it then.” I removed my white top and black trousers and stood before Bertha in only my knickers. I guessed it didn’t matter much since she’d seen all my lady bits last night.

  She handed me the black top first. Holy shit! It was so silky and smooth when I slipped it on and it buttoned crossways in the front, showcasing a bit of cleavage. Not bad indeed. It was breathable and easy to move in. Maybe she was on to something. Now for the skirt.

  I stepped into the skirt and hung my foot on what could only be a set of short trousers. Damn. I lost my balance and fell flat on my face. Thankfully, I stopped the blow with my arm. That could have ended badly with me missing a few teeth. Not good at all.

  Bertha was laughing her arse off. “Would you like a bit of help, dear?”

  I picked myself up off the floor and made sure my shirt was still intact. “No, no. I’m fine. I can do this.” Watching what I was doing this time, I carefully stepped into the black short pants hidden beneath the skirt and pulled it up around my waist. Oh, my! It was quite comfortable indeed. And none of my naughty bits were showing. In fact, it looked, well, beautiful. I was well and truly shocked. My knee-high arse-kicking boots would go quite nicely with this ensemble.

  All right, have a seat. It’s time to do something with your hair.” Bertha motioned toward a dressing table on her right.

  She pulled my hair from its ponytail, and not in a gentle way, I might add, and commenced to brushing out all of the tangles. I felt like a little girl again, back when Mother used to attempt to tame my hair after I’d been outside all day practicing with my sword.

  The thought of my mother caused a slight twinge in my heart. Then I thought of Bertha. She was becoming quite the motherly sort, and I would certainly miss her once our quest was over.

  After what felt like an eternity of her yanking my hair this way and that, she told me to take a look in the mirror. Holy Warrior Princess! I couldn’t believe my eyes. She’d not only tamed my wild mop but brushed my curls to the point where they hung beautifully down my back and over my shoulder. She must have used magic, I decided. There was no possible way my hair could ever look like that on its own. No matter. I was finally dressed and ready to go.

  Oh, wait. My boots. Before I could get up to procure them, Bertha handed them to me with a bright smile splitting her lovely face. “You look lovely and every bit the warrior I knew you could be.” She looked like a proud mother when she reached down and hugged me tight. For once in my life, I didn’t cringe; I hugged her back and it felt almost as nice as being in my mother’s arms again. The thought nearly brought tears to my eyes.

  But. There was no crying tonight. Just arse kicking and rescuing.

  I laced up my boots, replaced my knives in their respectful places and then stood. Bertha rolled a large mirror toward me, so I could get a good look at myself.

  A Warrior Princess, indeed. The black top crossed over my breasts, cinching at my waist and the skirt began where the top ended; it was near seamless. And what I thought might be an indecent split up the front actually gave me room to move about while billowing about my legs and, it didn’t hinder my movements in any way, I might add. It actually felt quite nice being pretty and dressed in somewhat acceptable fighting gear. I’d have to speak to her dressmaker to procure a few more in the future.

  Oh, shit. I was changing. I was actually thinking of enquiring about a dressmaker. No matter. I was still me and always would be. However, as I mentioned before, there would never be a corset among my list of things to wear. Ever.

  “Thank you, Bertha. I’m simply speechless. I can’t believe—”

  “You said, “speechless,” dear, yet you’re still speaking.” She grinned and then patted my shoulder. “Come now, there isn’t much time.”

  “Right. And about my choice; I know what I must do.” And I left her to mull that over, opening the now-unlocked door and heading down the stairs to meet my companions in the main bar area.

  I heard her laughing behind me. Dear God. I was positive I was growing to love that woman, or witch rather.

  When I walked down the stairs toward the bar, all conversation stopped; even the ladies and their clients were sitting with their mouths agape. I guessed that was a good sign.

  Eric caught my eye and then rose to his feet. Oh, my! The look he was giving me was near indecent. Bertha had done a mighty fine job indeed. But I wasn’t quite sure I wanted to stop a dragon with my looks, I’d much rather halt one with my sword in its gut. Speaking of swords; it was sheathed with a belt around my waist. I had to have somewhere to put it.

  “Catherine, what are you wearing?” Eric looked me up and down with a heated stare. “You’re beautiful.”

  “Why, thank you, Eric.” I placed my hand on his chest to keep him from kissing me. “Bertha gave me a bit of a makeover. I quite like it myself, skirt and all.”

  “Yes, I—yes, well.” It seemed Eric had been rendered speechless.

  This, I loved, and it wasn’t often the dhampir didn’t have anything to say or couldn’t rather. I patted him on the shoulder, and made my way toward the bar, leaving him standing with his mouth hanging open.

  “Hello, gentleman. Are we near ready to get on with our quest?” Three sets of eyes turned toward me, wide-eyed.

  Gregory cleared his throat, setting his pint on the bar top. “Princess, I—we were just—”

  “Please, call me Catherine. We’ll be fighting alongside one another and there’s no need for formalities.” I smiled widely and then glanced toward the food in front of me. “If you’re not going to eat that, Tobias, I’ll take it. I’m starved.” I swiped his sandwich from his plate and took a large bite but then remembered my manners, or lack thereof.

  “It�
��s all yours,” he replied although I’d already stolen it from his plate. The expression on his face nearly made me choke on my sandwich. “You’re wearing a dress.”

  “Why yes, yes I am.” I made sure to swallow before I spoke this time. “It’s quite comfortable and acceptable fighting gear.”

  James had been struck dumb. His mouth was hanging wide open. He kept opening and closing it as if he wanted to say something, but it seemed nothing would come out.

  “Something on your mind, James?” I set the half-eaten sandwich back on the plate. I was done eating; my nerves wouldn’t allow me to eat another bite.

  “Just the dress and you look… nice.” He swallowed hard, and I knew he was attempting to be a gentleman after the chastising he’d received earlier.

  I realised he was truly sorry for what he had done. Maybe we would have a chat about it some other time when our circumstances weren’t so dire. I felt in my gut James was most likely acting on impulse, and I would allow him to explain his reasoning, whatever that might be. He wasn’t a savage or an indecent man, only slightly misguided. We all made mistakes. Hell, I knew I was nowhere near perfect. And I did care for him. I cared for them all in my own way.

  “Thank you. Now, if we’re ready, I’d like to get on with our quest. Sundown is quickly approaching, and we have no idea what we may run into.”

  Eric’s arm touched my elbow and I felt all the blood rush to my face. “Catherine is right. Bertha has done her job as far as I can tell and it’s time to take our leave.”

  “Wait. Has she already changed your appearances? You still look the same.” I looked them up and down and then wanted to slap myself in the face. Of course, I wouldn’t be able to see the difference. That was the plan.

  “Yes, Catherine,” Tobias answered. “We should all have blond hair and green eyes; our auras are that of Drakins. She changed our dhampir scent, but it will only last for four hours.”

  “Right. I lost myself there for a moment.” I shook my head at my own stupidity. “Let’s go.”

  Bertha met us at the door as we were leaving to bid us goodbye and wish us good luck. She clutched my hand just as I was nearing the door. “Safe journey. Remember who you are and allow your heart to guide you. It will never steer you wrong.”

  I nodded, refusing to cry. I knew exactly who I was.

  I was the Warrior Princess of the Southern Kingdom. I was going to save my sister, save my prince and my kingdom from the clutches of the Drakins. And I knew I wasn’t alone. We would fight alongside one another—to the death, if need be—for our cause and to complete our quest.

  Chapter 26

  When we neared the forest, the sun had already set, and the full moon shone high in the star-studded sky. Gregory decided it was best if we went on foot until we reached the forest so as to not frighten the townspeople when he shifted. They were all terrified of the Drakin Clan and rightfully so.

  I was somewhat surprised at myself. Gregory was the first Drakin I’d ever met who I didn’t want to kill on sight. I realised I needed to adjust my way of thinking. Not all dragons were the same, and I was willing to bet there were more than just Gregory who wanted Julius gone. They were most likely following along out of fear and coercion. I would never again judge another species by the actions of a few.

  Hell, maybe I was growing more and more into this leadership role I never thought I wanted. Stranger things had happened. My father was right. I had always thought of everything only as they pertained to me and not the kingdom as a whole. I realised then how much this quest to save my sister and meeting the dhampir brothers had changed my perspective on life. Was I growing up? No. That was impossible.

  “We’re nearing the forest.” Gregory’s voice broke me from my thoughts. “Once we find a large enough clearing, I’ll shift, and we can be on our way.”

  “Do you know how many guards are in the eastern tower?” I enquired, realising this was something we should have discussed earlier.

  “At last I checked, there were four guarding Princess Lucy.” Gregory appeared at my side. “Once I drop you off near the eastern tower, I’ll shift back and help with a distraction.”

  I gave him a sideways glance while we continued walking at a rather brisk pace. “That’s a fine plan. Thank you, Gregory.”

  “I see a clearing up ahead.” James pointed out. “It’s only a few meters to the north.”

  My stomach flipped, and I felt a bit of nausea coming on at the thought of riding on the back of a dragon. I rather liked walking or riding a horse. This was uncharted territory, and I was bit frightened. Although Gregory had assured me it was safe, I could see my clumsy arse falling to my death just before we made it to the castle. I’d most likely impale myself on the castle gates; it would just be my luck. I shook my head to rid myself of that dreadful image.

  Eric and Tobias sandwiched me as we walked toward the clearing. I assumed they were sensing my unease. That was fine, but they should have known by now I never enjoyed being smothered. I picked up my pace, attempting to leave them behind. No such luck. Dammit.

  “You’ll ride between myself and Tobias.” Eric clutched my hand. He kept doing that in the company of others. “We won’t allow you to fall.”

  “Thank you, Eric. I feel much better now. This way, if I vomit it will only be on the two of you.” I chuckled a bit at my own joke, but they didn’t laugh. Well, I thought the imagery was quite funny myself.

  “We’re here,” Gregory said. “Please stand back behind the trees. I’ll crouch down when I’m ready for you to climb on.”

  My companions and I stood behind the trees and waited. Holy hell! That looked painful. Gregory’s limbs snapped and popped and, in a cloud of green-coloured smoke, a green-and-blue dragon appeared where he had once stood. His dragon was huge, with large black horns atop his head that curved forward and sharp, shiny black spikes that ran along the length of his tail.

  Damn. If I wasn’t careful, I’d impale myself on one of those, forget the castle gates. Now I was certainly glad to be sandwiched between Eric and Tobias. Poor James had to ride in back. I hoped he didn’t slip. Those spikes could do quite a bit of damage to his manly bits. I cringed at the thought.

  Moving on. I was getting off track again.

  Gregory breathed bits of fire and smoke, then crouched low to the ground, so we could climb on his back. Damn, his scales were slippery. If I wasn’t careful, I’d be busting my arse in no time flat and testing my dress to see if my naughty bits were covered. This was just shit.

  Suddenly, I felt a pair of large hands grab my arse, and I bristled, turning around, ready to pounce. It was Eric and he was smirking. “I’m only trying to give you a boost. You seem to be having a bit of trouble.”

  “I was getting on just fine”—my foot slipped again—“fuck.” I heaved a frustrated sigh. “Carry on, just don’t drop me.” I knew I was going to be humiliated before the night was over; I could feel it.

  Once we were finally seated atop Gregory’s back, and I had my breathing under control—mostly—the dragon rose to his full height on all fours and I thought I might be ill. Why had I agreed to this? Oh, to save Lucy and stop Julius from invading my kingdom. I was a warrior princess. I could do this. Warriors didn’t vomit, did they?

  And we were off.

  I screamed at the top of my lungs, holding onto Eric for dear life. I just knew I was going to die. Warriors yelled out battle cries. Well, this was my damned battle cry, and I was fucking scared to death!

  We soared over the trees, and I clamped my eyes shut. I had no interest whatsoever in the scenery from this high up in the damned sky. The dhampirs could laugh at me until their sides hurt, I didn’t give a shit. I wanted off this damned dragon, right the hell now.

  I heard James say something, but it was muffled by the howling wind. I peeked one eye open. Dear God! The mountains! We were going to crash into a mountain. I was surely going to die and never get a chance to go back for Lucy or save my kingdom. I was killing Gregory i
f I didn’t die. This was a shit idea.

  Warrior Princess, my arse. Right now, I felt more like a squealing little girl. This was never happening again. Ever. And if any of the brothers ever mentioned how I screamed and nearly puked, I’d run them through with my sword. They would heal, eventually.

  Finally, I could see the damned castle. I swallowed back what I hoped wasn’t that sandwich I’d stolen from Tobias and breathed a sigh of relief. I was certain Eric would have an imprint of my breasts in his back, considering how hard I’d squeezed him. I may have even broken a rib or two. Good thing he healed quickly enough.

  My arse was numb, and I heard Tobias say we were about to land. Thank God! I wasn’t dead yet, and if I made it through this alive, I would find a way back to the brothel without riding a dragon. This was truly a horrifying experience indeed!

  Oh, my God. We were touching down near the eastern tower, and I could see two more dragons flying in the sky, circling the castle. I only hoped Gregory hadn’t drawn attention to us or my screaming hadn’t been heard.

  I slid off the side of Gregory’s back lightning fast, not remembering myself or the fact that I was wearing a dress. I didn’t give a shit. I’d never been so happy to feel my feet on solid ground in my life. Oh, shit. I was swaying. This wasn’t happening again. I needed to catch my footing, and I couldn’t feel my arse. I seriously hadn’t thought this through. Not at all. Damn the luck. I was just about to fall on my arse when Eric caught me by the waist.

  “Easy there, Catherine. Give yourself a minute.” And, he was smiling. Fantastic.

  “Thanks, Eric.” At least I wasn’t on my arse. “I’ve got it from here.”

  The brothers came to stand near us, and I realised we were truly exposed where we were standing. I grabbed Eric’s hand and ran or wobbled rather, on shaky legs toward the shadows of the tower. It wouldn’t do for us to get caught as soon as we landed. The other two dragons were still in the sky. Tobias and James followed behind us.