Real Love

by Natasha West

  Eleven

  The next few weeks were a blur.

  Daisy, having only done days here and there before, was shocked by the amount of time LIM had now booked her for. She was in every day, sometimes for multiple scenes. Sometimes with Alexa, sometimes without. During her scenes with Alexa, they would talk off camera, but never about anything other than work. Both were desperately behaving how they thought colleagues were supposed to.

  But Daisy had plenty of other things to focus on besides her and Alexa’s weird vibe. She’d never been so busy in her life. The gel mask that Isabella had suggested now had a permanent place in the fridge, ready to alleviate the new tiredness that came from swinging between her new schedule and trying to make sure she didn’t drop off the map with Jake.

  The money that Daisy was now making helped with that. She could take Jake to do things, when she had a few hours off. She could take him to buy things he wanted, not just needed. And they could go out and see a film on a big screen instead of just seeing what was on Netflix. If Jake wanted snacks at the cinema, Daisy didn’t have to go to the Tesco half a mile away for a bag of popcorn, she could buy the theatre’s extortionately priced food there and then, handing over her credit card without even breaking a sweat.

  It felt good to be able to give him what some of his friends took for granted. She hoped that she could maybe take him for some big days out once the series was over, maybe to a theme park or an adventure day. But a few hours here and there was as good as she could do, for now.

  It was on one of those tightly scheduled movie trips, on a Sunday morning (Jake had moaned about getting dragged out of bed so early but Daisy had told him it was this morning or never to see the latest Marvel flick, and he’d suddenly found the determination) that Daisy found herself in one of the most awkward conversations she’d ever had with her son.

  They were in their seats and the trailers hadn’t started yet, so the lights were up and people were still chatting.

  ‘Can we go to McDonald's after this?’ Jake asked.

  ‘Yes, but it’ll have to be the drive-through. I’ve got to work this afternoon.’

  Jake shrugged ‘Long as I get a burger, I don’t care where I eat it.’ And then, in a conversational leap that Daisy couldn’t even attempt to track, he said ‘When are you gonna have a girlfriend, Mum?’

  Daisy almost crushed her diet coke. ‘What? Where did that come from?’

  ‘This boy from my class, Matt, he told me that he’s just got a new step mum. And he likes her more than his old mum because she gives him whatever he wants.’

  Daisy laughed. ‘That’ll pass. She’s just trying to get into his good books. Were you hoping to get an upgrade too, is that what you’re trying to tell me?’

  Jake tutted. ‘No, I was just wondering why you never have any girlfriends.’

  ‘I’ve had girlfriends, Jake.’

  ‘Have you?’ he retorted, shocked. ‘When? Why didn’t I meet them?’

  ‘Because I didn’t want you to get attached to someone who might leave eventually.’

  ‘Like my dad?’

  Daisy looked at Jake and realised he was growing up. Just like that, it hit her. Technically, she knew he was ageing. The rate at which he grew out of his clothes kept reminding her of that. But it wasn’t until that moment she understood that he was maturing too. Because he’d figured out something like that without having to be told it.

  ‘It’s not your fault he’s not around for you. That’s his mistake, not yours.’

  Jake gave a world-weary sigh. ‘I know that, Mum. You don’t have to keep saying it.’

  ‘I just need you to know it.’

  ‘I know it, alright. But I was talking about you, anyway. Have you got a girlfriend right now?’

  Daisy wasn’t sure she wanted to talk about her love life with her twelve-year-old son, but it was this or go against her lifelong policy of being honest with him.

  ‘No.’

  ‘When did you last have one?’

  ‘Four years ago. She only lasted six months though, so it never got to the stage of you meeting her.’

  The truth was that Lucy, the woman who had professed to be fine with the existence of Daisy’s son, had a change of heart when it came time to fish or cut bait. ‘I’m not ready to be a parent’ she’d said in that final conversation. Daisy had been heartbroken at the time but glad later that it hadn’t gotten any further, that she hadn’t let Lucy into her son’s life before she had figured out she wasn’t in it for the long haul. Jake didn’t need the confusion of people coming in and out of his life, making him feel like he couldn’t depend on people to stick around. The long-term effects of such a thing, it was something Daisy thought about a lot. How close she’d come to letting it happen still scared her.

  ‘So why haven’t you got a girlfriend now?’

  ‘I’m too busy. What with drama school and now I’m trying to get my career going, I haven’t had the time to meet anyone.’

  ‘Don’t you meet people anyway? Even when you’re not trying?’

  Alexa flashed through Daisy’s mind, but that was just silly. They didn’t even really know each other. And being beautiful with a voice that made you feel like you were sitting in a bath filled with warm honey was not enough for Daisy to make the effort to do so.

  ‘No one I could go out with.’

  ‘What about that lady?

  ‘What lady?’

  ‘Alexa Lockwood?’

  A shocked laugh burst out of Daisy that caused people in the front row to shoot her a look.

  ‘Where did you get that idea?’

  ‘I watched the episode last night.’

  Daisy was livid. ‘But I made your Gran promise you wouldn’t watch it!?’

  ‘We did, though.’

  It had been the episode where Daisy made the first flirtatious advance at Robyn’s party. Daisy had been quite clear with Kathy about not wanting her or her son to watch it. But in true Kathy style, she’d just gone ahead and done what she wanted while Daisy was out of the house, working. But the toothpaste was out of the tube now, no point trying to get it back in.

  ‘That’s just make-believe, Jake.’

  ‘I get that, Mum. I’m not stupid. But I thought you might like each other anyway.’

  ‘Why?’

  He shrugged. ‘Dunno. Just did.’

  The lights went down and the trailers began. Daisy was glad of a reprieve from her son’s romantic detective work. It was eerie how perceptive he was. Still, it didn’t mean she had to take his dating advice.

  Twelve

  Daisy was back on set in the afternoon. She knew what scene was going to happen today. It was the big day. Weeks of pursuit was going to have its culmination. Alexa and Daisy were going to kiss.

  The run up to the kiss had been played out over two episodes. Both Daisy and Alexa had worked hard to make it feel organic, dancing around each other, stoking the sexy fire. But the fire was built, ready to ignite. From a story point of view, this moment had to happen and it had to happen now.

  Daisy had known it was coming and she’d decided that it didn’t have to be any bigger a deal than kissing Will. She wasn’t going to get worked up over it. That’s what she’d been telling herself anyway.

  But everything that had come out of her son’s mouth prior to the two hours of superheroes trying to defend Las Vegas (and destroying a fair bit of it in the process), had taken a small toll on her calm. Although her thoughts were basically under control, the way her finger kept tapping on the chair while Isabella applied her makeup told a slightly different story.

  As for Isabella herself, she seemed to be in an even worse mood than usual.

  ‘Keep still, would you? Unless you want to look like a Zebra.’

  Daisy was not in the mood to try and force agreeability with Isabella today. Her mind was at full capacity just trying to pretend she wasn’t freaking out about kissing Alexa. There was nothing left over for another attempt at winning round the world'
s meanest makeup artist.

  ‘Why do you hate me so much?’ Daisy asked casually. ‘I’ve only ever been nice to you.’

  Isabella, who’d been concentrating on Daisy’s eyebrows thus far, flicked a look at her eyes. ‘I don’t hate you. Keep still.’ And she went back to the eyebrows.

  Daisy wondered whether to push it. She was tempted to let it go. But it had been weeks of this crap and she didn’t know if there would ever be another moment when she’d work up the nerve to call Isabella on her shitty attitude.

  ‘So what is it? Because every time I sit in this chair, you act like I’m pissing you off just by breathing.’

  Isabella, now finished with Daisy’s eyebrows, moved to eyeshadow.

  ‘Don’t take it personally. I just hate this job.’

  It was a glimmer of the human being underneath the snark. Daisy couldn’t resist the temptation to push for more.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘None of your fucking business.’

  Daisy shut up after that.

  Daisy walked into Alexa’s flat, the setting of today’s scene. It wasn’t at all what Daisy had been expecting. She’d thought it would be some immaculate modernist flat. But that wasn’t Alexa’s style at all. She was eclectic, favouring antique furniture. Unfortunately, that didn’t fit with Ryan’s vision of Alexa’s life, and her incredibly beautiful old furniture was being shifted out, replaced with the most boring, white things Ikea would sell.

  ‘Careful, guys’ Alexa was pleading to Aaron as he helped another runner take out a sideboard. Ryan was at her side in an instant. ‘Don’t worry, my darling, it will be treated with the utmost care’ he assured her, as the sideboard disappeared into the hall. And then every crew and cast member distinctly heard Aaron cry out ‘Shit!’, followed by a loud bang. But Alexa said nothing. Daisy thought it showed more grace than she would have displayed in the situation.

  ‘Daisy, you’re here. We’ve got a few minutes before we shoot and I wondered if I could have a word with you both?’

  Daisy joined Ryan and Alexa, with whom she exchanged a short hello and minimal eye contact. That was the routine they’d developed. Cordiality was the name of the game.

  ‘I know you were on set all night, so there’s no way you would have seen all the Twitter activity around last night’s ep, but it was as we’d hoped. People love you two. You were trending at one point. Hashtag #Dexa. It’s not a great couple name, admittedly.’

  Alexa pretended to find that interesting but she would never have checked Twitter, even if she’d had all night to look at it. It was mainly people saying what they thought about her clothes.

  ‘And we thought…’ Ryan continued, giving a light laugh that both Daisy and Alexa understood was meant to proceed the asking of an awkward favour. ‘We were thinking it might be good to get you two out. In the public eye.’ No one said anything. Ryan took that to mean this was going down well. ‘What we thought was that if you two perhaps went to dinner together tonight, we could make sure that there were a few Paps there to get the moment. We really think it would capture people’s imaginations, get people wondering, get them talking, get them posting, keep the momentum up. What do you think?’

  Daisy desperately tried to think of a reason she couldn’t do it. Jake was the obvious one. But luckily she remembered that no-one at LIM knew she had a child, and telling them now might not be the best idea. She was playing a certain type of girl now. That girl did not have a tween son.

  Alexa was also trying to think of a reason she couldn’t do tonight. But as usual, there was nothing that Ryan wouldn’t consider a lower priority than the show. He wouldn’t force it down her neck. But he’d keep talking till he got his way. If Ryan had gotten it into his head to do this, then she was going to dinner with Daisy Howard. Tonight. It was as inevitable as the setting of the sun.

  If anyone had been able to read the minds of the two women, depending on the general nature of this imaginary third party, they would most likely have said to them, ‘You both fancy one another! Stop being stupid and let it happen!’ But the third party didn’t exist. The only things that spoke to Alexa and Daisy were insecurity and fear. And they were loud little arseholes.

  Daisy and Alexa both began to mumble agreements to the plan and Ryan slapped his hands together. ‘Great! I’ll get Aaron to get you in somewhere good. Now let’s do the big kiss, shall we?’

  The set up was this:

  Alexa had had a party the night before and she and Reece had made it up, so they were lovey-dovey at the beginning of the evening. But wouldn’t you know it? Reece cocked it all up by getting far too hammered and then being caught ‘talking’ to a girl in Alexa’s bedroom, alone. They weren’t undressed but it was suspicious. Alexa told him it was over and he left, pleading innocence. He said he would be back tomorrow, when he was sober, to convince her that he loved her. It was the first time he’d said those words and it shook Alexa, even as she kicked him out.

  Meanwhile, Daisy, who was developing an acquaintance with Alexa that kept walking that line between budding friendship and psychological foreplay, was present for the whole thing. After everyone else had left for the night, Daisy somehow hadn’t.

  They’d shot the party scenes yesterday and so it was just Alexa and Daisy today for a two-hander with a small crew. Jane gave them some boundaries, but within it, they both had the freedom to get from A to B however they liked. B, of course, was the kiss.

  ‘Quiet on the set! And ACTION!’

  Alexa was on the Ikea couch, somewhat distraught (in her icy way) about the events of the evening. Daisy placed a light hand on her lower back and said ‘If he’s gonna keep messing you about like this, he’s not worth your time. You can do better.’

  Alexa looked at Daisy. ‘He’s not always like that. It’s something about being in front of people. He gets swept up, wants everyone to like him.’

  ‘But especially girls?’

  Alexa sighed, exasperated, looking at the ceiling. ‘You know what he’s like, surely you remember the good things about him too?’

  ‘If he’d been all that great, I might have stayed.’

  ‘But you got bored? Isn’t that what you told me?’

  ‘Yeah… Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. I think I was being a bit mean because I was jealous.’

  ‘Of me?’

  ‘Of Reece.’

  Alexa swallowed and turned to meet Daisy’s eye. ‘Are you being serious with all this?’

  ‘You think I’m not being serious?’

  ‘I can’t tell if you’re just playing with me.’

  Daisy took Alexa’s hand gently. ‘I’m not playing.’

  Daisy waited to see what Alexa’s reaction was going to be. But there wasn’t one. Alexa was just allowing her hand to be held, looking away. Eventually, not wanting to push it, Daisy released her hand.

  ‘I’ll go’ Daisy said and stood. Alexa stood up and followed her down the hall, to let her out. Daisy thought perhaps she’d made a mistake in trying to leave, to force Alexa’s hand.

  At the door, Daisy said goodnight.

  ‘Goodnight’ Alexa replied and opened the door. A creek behind them indicated that the tracking cameraman was right behind them, keeping up with the unplanned location change.

  Daisy thought she was going to simply walk through the door, that the kiss wouldn’t come. But then, one foot over the threshold, she felt Alexa grab her wrist and pull her back through the door, slamming it and drawing Daisy to her. Daisy suddenly thought she was about to get the kiss of her life, the way that Alexa was looking at her. But Alexa leaned in and gave her the most chaste of pecks on the lips.

  ‘CUT!’

  The kiss broke and Daisy and Alexa sprang apart and stood back quickly, putting a full foot between them, which was not easy in the small hallway. They both looked up the hall to see Jane’s head come around the corner and they waited to see what she wanted to do next, whether she wanted another take or would ask for some close-ups.

  �
��Err, guys... That was great. But maybe we could amp up the passion. Just a notch.’

  Daisy felt her face begin to go pink. She didn’t dare look to see how Alexa was taking the note.

  But then Jane was joined by Ryan, who’d been sat in the kitchen with his own monitor. ‘Personally, I think underplaying the moment works nicely. But you’re the boss, Jane.’

  Jane, knowing full well who the boss really was, replied ‘If you’re happy, I’m happy. Right, close-ups.’

  ‘Close-ups’ Alexa repeated perkily, quickly following the crew back into the living room. Daisy, wondering where the hell her big kiss had just disappeared to, trudged in behind them.