by Faye Sonja
Then his dark eyes were back. “You like her?” Peter asked, gesturing his head towards Faith.
Faith looked between them, her confusion clear. She had no idea was what going on, but Joshua did. The kid was trying to see how far he could push. He was going to lose, and sorely.
Joshua answered in that deep drawl of his. “I do.”
Peter smiled, pleased with himself. Joshua knew what he was thinking, but just so he was sure Joshua knew, Peter said in a low voice, “So then I guess you’re letting me out.”
Joshua smiled too. Faith smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder. Joshua turned to her, taking her hand. He turned towards the door. “Let’s go.”
Faith smiled brighter, tightening her hold on Joshua’s hand. The sheriff moved to open Peter’s cell door, but Joshua’s hand on Graves’ shoulder stopped him. “Nope! Not today. Let him stay a while.”
Graves nodded his head. A smile he couldn’t seem to hide slid in place. Faith snatched her hand from Joshua’s. He turned toward her. His smile brightened at the anger he saw in her eyes. Her face was red with it. One word came to mind. Firefly.
“You can’t leave him here,” Faith protested. “You let him out, right now, Joshua. I mean it!”
Joshua placed a hand at the small of her back and began to usher her toward the door, all the while she continued her rant. She didn’t stop once the two had walked out the door, either.
* * *
The weather greeted them like a cold hug. It was snowing. Faith shivered as the snow landed on her face and lashes, but the heat from her anger melted them. She looked up at Joshua’s face. He still wore a smile. She got the urge to smack it off his face, but she didn’t. “Why didn’t you let him out? I thought you were going to help?”
Joshua’s brown eyes held hers. His words were soft. “I am, Faith.”
Faith pulled her hood over her head. She couldn’t continue this fight out here in the cold, but she had to get Peter out of there. Just thinking of Peter behind bars made her anxious.
Samantha shivered loudly. “Let’s go home.” She turned to the Marshal then. “I’m cooking dinner. Won’t you come?”
Faith’s eyes widened. She looked over to Joshua who simply stared at her, waiting for her to extend the invitation as well. She wanted to say no. Deny him her presence… but Faith sighed as she turned away. “Samantha’s really good in the kitchen,” she ended up saying.
“Can you cook?” Joshua asked. Faith looked up at him. His eyes were still soft. A smile still on his face. Her heart picked up.
“No,” Faith said. She narrowed her eyes waiting for a look of condemnation to cross his face, though it never came. Instead, Joshua’s smile grew, as though Faith had done something pleasing. It confused her. “What?”
He shrugged. “It’s just nice to know that you’re not perfect.”
Faith tried to fight her smile, but failed. Instead, she turned and started in the direction of home. Samantha followed behind, catching Joshua up on everything going on in her and her sibling’s lives. While they spoke, Faith’s sadness grew. Joshua had a way with children. There was no way he wouldn’t want his own one day. She couldn’t marry this man and take away any chance he’d have at his very own family. Samantha and the others were her family—her heart. But Faith wouldn’t allow herself to lie to herself. She couldn’t believe that Joshua wouldn’t want more. Sure, he thought that now, but would he still believe that in a year? In two? Faith wasn’t sure and she didn’t think herself strong enough to watch another man walk out of her life.
Taking their horses, they arrived to the house pretty quickly. Penny ran out to greet them. “Marshal!” Okay, maybe she came out to greet Joshua.
Joshua swung down from his horse and hugged the little girl to himself. Large hazel eyes looked up at him in adoration. Her little nose was red from the cold. He smiled. “What’s the news, Penny?”
Penny quickly launched into telling Joshua about everyone and everything that was going on in Perry Lake since he last left. Penny was like Joshua’s local informer. He’d asked her to keep tabs on things and she’d deliver. After she was done with catching him up on everyone, including Peter, she went into a tale about something that had happened to her while he was away. She loved to tell him stories when he was in town and always promised to share them with him. The story she was currently telling him involved new friends that she’d met. Perry Lake was growing and with the growth meant new people. Part of Penny’s story soon turned into a fictional tale, as Joshua knew it would. Joshua could tell that the girl hung around Mark too much. A part of Joshua felt jealous about that fact, but he wasn’t sure why.
Once in the house, the warmth from the fireplace and kitchen stove wrapped around Joshua like a blanket. Faith’s house was a large one-story ranch. Just enough space for her family. Joshua had never been here before. He’d never been invited, until now.
Penny’s voice broke into his thoughts. “Charlie has gotten really good at the piano.” Joshua could hear it and agreed. Penny hopped down from his arms, grabbed his hand, and began to pull him in the direction of the music. Joshua looked toward Faith and held his other hand out to her. She smiled before taking it, allowing Penny to drag her along as well.
The piano was located toward the back of the house. Charlie stopped when he heard them coming. Penny informed Charlie that Joshua was in the room. Joshua walked over to the piano. “Mind if I join you?”
Charlie looked surprised. “You play?” he asked as he continued to stare straight ahead at nothing.
“I play.”
Charlie scooted over on the bench and Joshua sat beside him. Joshua started a song he knew Charlie could play. Chopsticks. And as Charlie took to playing one end of the piano, Joshua started on the other, building the music between them, and filling the air around them with the happy waltz. Joshua watched as the smile on Charlie’s face grew. The joy that spread across his face warmed Joshua’s heart. When the song ended, the boy laughed. “Where’d you learn to play?”
Joshua smiled at him. “You pick up some stuff while you’re on the road,” was all he said in that low southern roll of voice he had.
“What else do you know how to do?”
Faith’s panicky voice cut in. “I’m sure the Marshal would like to see the rest of the house.”
Joshua laughed whole heartily before meeting her emerald eyes. Yeah, Joshua had picked up a ton of things that Charlie didn’t need to know about, and none of them as friendly as playing the piano.
He rose and Penny took his spot, telling Charlie to play the song she liked. A song filled the air as Joshua walked over to Faith. She took off her jacket somewhere along the way. Without the bulky fabric, she looked smaller, more fragile, but Joshua knew she wasn’t. Faith was like a drink of black coffee; cream, and two sugars. She was sweet, warm, and loaded with a kick. Or punch as he remembered. The thought made him smile.
Faith narrowed her eyes at him. This close he could see every freckle on her upturned nose. “What’s so funny, Marshal?”
“Remembering how you punch.”
Faith’s lips twitched. “If you enjoyed it that much then I must not have done a very good job.”
Joshua held out his hands to her and watched as she hesitated to take them. Eventually she did. “You did an excellent job. Your stance and balance was perfect. You punch like a man.”
Faith smiled. “Daniel taught me.”
Joshua smiled. “Yeah. He was good at that.”
Faith shook her head, dropped his hands, and began to lead him out of the room. As they walked, they passed the section of the room Kate had taken over; the bay window that caught the sun. Books lined up by her feet and stretched high like towers. Joshua stopped and looked at her. Kate looked up, her blue eyes widened. Joshua walked over to her, reached into his coat’s pocket, and held out a book to her.
Kate took the book and rubbed her hand over the burgundy velvet cover with its golden trim. She had one just like it, the first bo
ok that Joshua had given her. Alice in Wonderland. This one was its pair. “Through the Looking Glass,” she whispered.
Joshua smiled.
Kate smiled up at him, hugging the book to herself. “Thank you,” she whispered.
Joshua nodded his head, then looked back over at Faith. She had tears in her eyes. Joshua was just about to ask her what was wrong when Samantha’s voice carried through the house. “Dinner’s ready,” she shouted.
Kate laid her new book down carefully before leaving the room. Once they were alone, Joshua stepped closer to Faith. His finger touched her cheek. “What’s wrong, Firefly?”
Faith blushed before looking away. “Later,” she said, before heading in the direction of the dining room. Joshua followed.
Dinner was nice. Both Faith and Joshua had a great time with the kids. Samantha made them sit at either head of the table. The four children sat on either side. Two by two. They looked like a real family. They laughed and talked about everything. The food was great, but the company was even better. Joshua liked these kids so much, but Faith stole the show. His eyes watched her as she did everything. He didn’t miss a beat. He remembered how she held her utensils, the way her voice changed with her emotions, and the way her dark red lashes fluttered when she caught him staring at her. Joshua, while sitting with this family, realized this was exactly what he wanted. He didn’t only want Faith, he wanted everything that came along with her. He wanted to share in her joys and pains with these kids around her, help her raise them, and hold her hand through it all. He wanted to marry her now more than ever, but as he watched her, he could tell that Faith still had a fight in her. Joshua could tell that Faith more than tolerated him. She had feelings for him as well, but something was holding her back and he needed to figure out a way to get her over her fears.
* * *
5
“Who’s Hurt You?”
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“ … but she couldn’t marry a man.
She would never marry. ”
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When dinner ended, Faith sent everyone to bed. They said goodnight to both adults before heading off. Faith wrapped up some leftovers once the table was cleared. “I’ll take a plate over to Peter.”
“I’ll do it,” Joshua said. “I’m heading back in that direction anyway. I’m staying at the inn.”
Faith looked over at him as she tied the sack. “Why aren’t you staying at one of your brother’s homes? They’ll be pretty upset that you didn’t,” she told him.
Joshua came and stood by Faith’s side. He placed a hand on top of hers, stopping her in her work. She took a shaky breath before looking up into those dark eyes and once she did, she couldn’t seem to get out of their hold.
Joshua’s hand cupped her chin again. “I didn’t come here to see them.”
Faith’s heart picked up. She knew why he’d come then, but she still wanted to hear it. “Why’d you come?”
Joshua leaned closer towards her. His breath brushed her face. “You know why I came.”
Faith sighed. “Say it.”
Joshua smiled. “I came for you, Faith. Marry me.”
His words almost made it hard for Faith to stand, but she didn’t fall. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
Faith realized how close they were to kissing, but didn’t move away and Joshua didn’t move closer. They both seemed to be stuck in place. Faith blinked, trying to think of anything but the masculine smell of the man that was only a breath away. “Because I can’t.”
“Why not?” He insisted.
“I saw the way you were with the children.”
“Yes?”
“You’re really good with them, Joshua. You’ll want your own one day.”
Joshua didn’t say anything for a moment. There was a stillness in the room. Only the lanterns and fireplace for light. Joshua took the hand that touched Faith’s chin and brought it up to stroke her cheek. “When we marry, your children will be my children. I will love them. They will be mine as they are yours.”
Faith pulled away. “You say that now, but you’ll change your mind.”
Joshua dropped his hands and sighed. “Who’s hurt you, Faith?”
Faith’s eyes widened. Her heart leaped in the cage of her ribs. “Who told you?”
Joshua shook his head. “You did. Someone’s got you scared, but it’s nothing that I did. What happened?”
Faith held herself, angry. “Almost ten years ago, I was married. I couldn’t have children. He left. The end. Happy?”
“Yes.”
Faith’s eyes went even wilder. “What? Why?”
Joshua touched her arms and held her to himself. “Because if he hadn’t left I would have had to kill him to be with you.”
Faith’s mouth dropped. “Marshal Joshua Reaper. You can’t talk that way.”
Something darkened in Joshua’s eyes and voice. “I wasn’t a Marshal ten years ago, Faith.” His face was very serious when he said it.
Faith’s expression didn’t change. “You’re a very bad man, Marshal.”
“Not when I’m with you.”
Faith puffed. “I don’t believe you.”
Joshua shrugged. “We’ll see.”
Faith lifted a brow. “When will we see?” she asked.
“After we marry.”
Faith shook her head. “I didn’t say yes.”
“Then tell me no.”
“No,” Faith said. Her heart began to race with her words.
Joshua stepped closer to her. “Say it again.”
Faith didn’t move. She didn’t retreat. Her hands fell to her side. “No,” she said with more force.
Joshua took that last step to reach her. His hands went to her shoulders, and then slowly slid through her hair. Faith’s eyes almost fluttered close, but she popped them open. Joshua’s hands slid down her back and pulled her closer to him. His face was once again only a breath away. Faith tensed.
Joshua’s eyes roamed her face, right before coming back to her eyes. His expression serious now. “Faith, say it one more time.”
Faith opened her mouth to do just that, but one of Joshua’s fingers silenced her. His black eyes held hers. His jaw set hard, his face very still. “But if you say it again, I want you to know, that I will never ask for your hand again. This is it. Tell me no again and I’ll walk out that door and never contact you again. No letters, no visits, because I wouldn’t be able to continue passing you my heart if you’re never going to take it. I thought I could, but not after today. Not after experiencing the warmth of your home and the admiration of your children. I can’t allow them to get involved in this. It will only hurt them later. I’ll always love you, but I’ll leave you alone if that is what you truly want.”
Faith let silence fill the room. He was right. The children loved him. If she wasn’t going to say yes, then she couldn’t allow them to get attached to him, not like this. His entire visit had been wonderful. It had truly felt as though he’d belonged. At dinner, sitting across from him, it had almost felt like that was where Joshua always sat, at the head of her table. Watching the children engage with him, she could tell that they could feel it too. A completeness, minus Peter. If Peter had been here, it would have been perfect. More perfect than anything else. Marrying Joshua would truly give the children the family they deserved, but Faith was almost positive that it was all a bad idea.
The feel of Joshua taking his fingers from her lips brought her back to the moment. Faith prepared herself. Joshua took a shaky breath. “Will you marry me, Faith?”
Faith stared into those dark eyes, but couldn’t hold them. She was angry and confused. She didn’t like ultimatums. She looked away, ready to scream at him. That’s what she really wanted to do, but she was tired. Her emotions were taxed. “You don’t even know me, Joshua.”
Joshua slowly smiled. “That’s not a no.”
“It’s not a yes,” she warned.
Joshua shrugged. “I’ll take what I can get.” He then brought his lips close to her, but at the last minute, his lips simply touched her cheek.
Joshua reached for the sack for Peter and headed towards the door. He stopped at the door, turning around to look at her. ”Goodnight, Firefly.”
Faith held his eyes until the door closed. She then dropped into a seat by the dining table. Joshua was wearing her down and she wasn’t too sure if that was a good thing.
* * *
“Sheriff,” Joshua said as he walked into the man’s office again. The sheriff tilted his head, but didn’t get up. He knew why Joshua was there. Joshua headed straight back to the holding cell. Peter still sat in the chair, his back to the world. It was almost like he hadn’t moved. A metal plate of something that resembled food sat in a corner, untouched.
Joshua pulled up a chair and sat the food behind him, out of sight. He’d give Peter the food, if he felt that the young man deserved it. So far, it was looking as though Joshua would be taking it with him for a midnight snack. “Peter.”
Peter jumped, just a little, but then settled back down into his chair. He didn’t turn around though. He just kept himself leaned into the wall on his side, his face towards the back wall. Joshua hadn’t really expected the boy to move anyway, so he wasn’t phased. “You know, Peter. I love Faith, but that doesn’t mean we have to be friends.”
Peter’s answer surprised him. “If you don’t like me, then she’ll never be with you.”
Joshua narrowed his eyes. Peter wasn’t slow. He was probably right. If Joshua and Peter couldn’t come to an understanding, then any chance with Faith was shot. The fact that Peter knew this bothered him, but not because Peter couldn’t mess things up for him. Peter was crude enough to ruin things for Faith. Peter didn’t care about anyone but himself and Joshua knew then that he really didn’t like this young man. Joshua sighed. He was about to pull a bluff and hoped Peter wouldn’t catch it. “You’re right, Peter. With you around, Faith will never give me a chance… So, maybe I ship you away. Somewhere where you can’t interfere.”
