by Faye Sonja
Peter snapped around at Joshua’s words. “You wouldn’t.” There was fear in his eyes.
“I don’t know, Peter. Maybe I would. Maybe I wouldn’t. Why should it matter? You’re not happy here anyway. Why not just send you to some prison in Texas somewhere.”
Peter shot to his feet and stalked over to Joshua. Joshua stood up, just in case Peter tried anything. Peter looked furious. His dark brown eyes stared into Joshua’s. Looking at him, Joshua realized that the kid looked a lot like him. Tall, broad shoulders, dark brown hair, brown eyes. For a minute, Joshua felt like he was looking at the younger version of himself. At fifteen, he’d been just as angry at the world, ready to fight anything and anyone that got in his way. But the one difference between Peter and Joshua was the way he treated Faith. Faith loved Peter the way that Paula, Joshua’s adoptive mother had loved him. Yeah, Joshua made mistakes as a young man, driven more by hunger than anything else, but he was never rude to Paula, never to her face. Joshua, as a young man, could be as mad as he wanted to be, but there was an invisible line you never crossed with your mother. Peter was not only crossing it, but he was dancing on the other side without a care.
“I hate you,” Peter spat at him.
Joshua’s face began to slip into the mask of pure nothingness. “Good, because I would never want anyone like you to like me.”
That confused Peter. “What does that even mean?”
Joshua spoke slowly. “You’re ungrateful. Faith loves you and you abuse it, completely unaware of what you’re doing. You know you’re making her cry. You know you’re causing her pain and you don’t stop, you keep going.” Joshua shook his head slowly. “But not anymore. You’re supposed to be protecting your family and you’re not. You’re the eldest, Peter. You’re the man of the house. Faith should be able to count on you more than the rest, but she can’t.” Joshua smiled. “So, I’ll do it. I’ll do what you can’t.”
Peter grabbed the bars. “I can do it.”
Joshua scoffed. “I don’t believe you.”
Peter jumped at him. Joshua jumped back, surprised. Peter’s anger was raging. His face was red. “I can protect my family. We don’t need you.”
“How?”
A bit of Peter’s anger slipped as he thought, but it was still there, simmering. “I don’t know.”
“You want to know how to protect them?” Joshua asked.
Peter didn’t ask. He just stared at him. Joshua continued. “You step up when you’re needed. You don’t cause problems. You fix them. Be the man of the house. You wipe more tears than you make.” Joshua grabbed the bars, leaning in toward Peter. He held Peter’s eyes, staring at him as though the boy’s very life depended on this moment. “And whenever someone comes around and tries to cause them pain, you make sure they know that they have to go through you first.”
Peter stood there, frozen by Joshua’s words. His anger was gone. He broke eye contact with Joshua, looking away as the thought. Joshua could see him processing what he had said. It was a moment before Peter met his eyes again. “I can do that,” he whispered.
“I don’t believe you.”
“I can do it!” Peter shouted.
“Yeah?”
Peter nodded his head slowly. “Yeah.” A smile crept on his face.
Joshua smiled too. “Then prove it, Peter. Protect your family.”
“What do I do first?”
“Apologize to everyone you’ve hurt. A real man knows when he’s messed up and acknowledges it.”
Peter sighed. It was obvious that he didn’t like that part. “Do I have to?”
Joshua raised a dark brow. “You tell me.”
Peter rolled his eyes. “Okay.”
Joshua nodded his head. “Now, I can already see you know how to fight, but you gotta fight for the right reasons.”
Peter became angry again. “I punched JJ because he said something about Faith that I didn’t like.”
Joshua was surprised again. Maybe this kid wasn’t all bad. “What did JJ say?”
Peter let the anger build to the point where it was almost hard for him to speak. “I’ll never repeat it.” A slow smile crept on Peter’s face. “And now, neither will JJ.”
Joshua narrowed his eyes. He was liking Peter more and more. Joshua laughed. He reached behind him and pulled out the sack of food he’d brought with him, passing it to Peter.
Peter looked surprised. “You’re not letting me out?”
Joshua laughed for real then. “No. You can’t go around taking revenge on people, Peter. Revenge is the Lord’s.”
Peter narrowed his eyes. “You really believe that?”
Joshua nodded his head. “It took a while to get there, but yeah.”
Peter watched Joshua for a moment. “You’re not like Mark and Daniel. Both of them are really nice to me, but not you.”
Joshua’s smile fell. “Mark and Daniel got soft. I only give respect to people who deserve respect.”
Peter looked away again. Then his eyes met Joshua’s once more. “I’m sorry.”
Joshua looked into Peter’s eyes, deciding on whether or not he believed him. Peter met him, his brown eyes intense. No anger. No bad attitude. Just truth. Joshua reached a hand through the bars.
Peter looked at Joshua’s hand, and then took it. They shook. Their hands dropped and then Joshua headed towards the inn. He was tired, but it was a good kind of tried. He felt like he’d gotten something accomplished, something that would probably mean more to Joshua than anything else he’d ever do in life.
* * *
6
“What Are You Doing Here?”
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“ … but she couldn’t marry a man.
She would never marry. ”
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The next morning, Faith was at the shop. She received Peter from the jail an hour ago and ever since then, he’d been acting quite strange. She sewed in a corner while he swept the front room. Customers watched him as well. Everyone knew how Peter was. He never volunteered to help, but that’s what he’d been doing all day, waiting on Faith and the girls. He was never at the store. But he was today and every woman’s eyes followed him around the room, waiting for something bad to happen.
Penny played with some dolls on the floor. She whispered up to Faith, “What’s wrong with Peter?”
Faith shrugged. Her eyes roamed the room and met Kate’s. Her new book in her hands. She narrowed her eyes at Faith, as if saying, ‘you broke him’ and ‘how’d you do it?’ Faith didn’t think she’d done anything.
“Do you think he’ll be like this forever?” Samantha asked as she sewed next to Faith. Her stitch work was excellent.
Faith didn’t have an answer to that, but she could only hope, not that she dared. All of Faith’s children were with her. The only person missing was Charlie, who took classes with Hannah. She was teaching him how to read and write braille, along with a few other skills for the blind.
Katherine walked in with Hannah in toe. Where was Charlie? Faith didn’t get to ask. Katherine’s look was menacing as she looked at Peter. Daniel’s wife was going to cause a scene and Peter's back talk would only help. This was what Faith had been waiting for.
Katherine spoke first. “Peter, we heard you got arrested yesterday. Why must you be such a headache for Faith?”
Faith hurried into the room, almost at Peter’s side when he spoke.
Peter’s words were not what anyone expected. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
Katherine opened her mouth to say more, but stopped. Hannah, who could hear what was happening, looked shocked as well. Katherine tried a few more times to find her anger to say more, but lost the battle. After a minute, the anger cleared. Concern took over. Katherine placed a hand on Peter’s forehead. “Are you all right?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Katherine snatched her hand back. Everyone in the shop
gasped, including Faith’s girls. Ma’am? Peter didn’t know the word. Katherine lost her words again, but she quickly found them. But when she spoke, she was looking at Faith. “What did you do to him?”
Faith shrugged. She’d been shrugging all day. If she kept it up, she was sure her shoulders would fall off. Was that a thing?
A laugh outside caught Faith’s attention. Joshua.
She parted through everyone on the mission to see him. She didn’t know how badly she’d wanted to until she spotted him a few feet away, talking with Daniel and Mark. Daniel’s daughter, Paula, was in his arms. Charlie stood with the men as if he were one of them. All three of the men were handsome in their own way, but nothing could tear Faith’s eyes from the man who was trying to steal her heart.
Joshua’s head turned towards her. His mouth still on the edge of a laugh. His dark eyes sparkling with it. His smile grew and Faith felt her entire face warm. She just saw him last night, but for some reason, she was acting as though it had been longer. She’d missed him. Was that even possible?
Katherine’s words broke the moment. “Joshua. What are you doing here?”
Katherine and Hannah walked past Faith to greet their brother-in-law. The little family had a moment just before Faith’s daughters interrupted, happy to see all three of them. They adored the men, looking to all of them as replacement fathers of sorts, and they all seemed to accept the role without being asked.
Peter walked out the door and the noise stopped. Faith walked over to Peter, grabbed his hand, and walked down to the group. Daniel and Mark had twin expressions. They were not happy with Peter’s latest antic, but Peter spoke first. “I’d like to apologize to everyone for my behavior. It was unacceptable and I ask that you forgive me.” He looked over to Faith then. “From now on, I’ll protect my family and try to not cause you any more pain.”
If you ignored the noise from the builders all the way down the road, you could almost say that the scene was silent. Daniel and Mark looked at one another before looking back at Peter. Then, they both separately grabbed the young man, pulling him into a hug. Everyone was laughing again, including Peter. He hugged Faith last and Faith buried herself into him. There were no words for the joy she felt. She didn’t understand Peter’s change, but she didn’t want to question it either.
Daniel spoke, “Joshua arrives and Peter straightens up?” Daniel narrowed his eyes. “That doesn’t sound like a coincidence to me.”
Joshua’s expression gave nothing away. “I didn’t do anything. Peter’s decisions are all his own.”
Mark rolled his eyes. “I believe you as far as I can throw you.”
Joshua got into a wrestling stance. “Getting weak on me, Mark?”
Mark joined him, a smile on his face. “Not a chance.”
Daniel laughed. “Not in the street, boys.”
Mark and Joshua straightened, but the challenge was still in their eyes. Men. Faith shook her head. Joshua spoke then, “I’ve got to head out anyway.”
“Why so soon? You just got here yesterday,” Faith said. Everyone turned to her. She covered her mouth, realizing she’d drawn attention to herself.
Daniel narrowed his eyes at Joshua. “You were here yesterday and we didn’t see you?”
Joshua’s expression stayed blank. He didn’t say anything.
Mark narrowed his eyes as well. “What were you doing here if you weren’t here to see us?”
Penny opened her mouth, but Joshua cut her off. Faith said a silent prayer of thanks. “Following a trail. Trying to serve a warrant to Big Willie.”
Mark shook his head. “He’s almost as bad as Tobias Steele. You be careful out there.”
Faith remembered the stories of Tobias Steele. The thought that Joshua was chasing someone like that didn’t sit well with her. The group made plans to get together the next time Joshua was in town and then Katherine, Hannah, Daniel, and Mark got into their wagons to leave. Katherine invited the children to come with her, since she was headed toward the school. They joined her in her wagon.
Peter squeezed Faith’s hand, getting her attention. He was smiling. “I like him.”
Faith didn’t have to ask what Peter was saying. In the strangest way, Faith was getting Peter’s blessing. It was awkward, but nice. Faith leaned up and kissed his cheek. Peter squeezed her hand once more before walking over to Joshua. The two men talked in a low voice before they shook hands, then Peter went back into the shop.
Faith was alone with Joshua. He was getting his horse ready as she went to stand next to him. He turned towards her and Faith placed her hands on his black coat. She was shaking. “You be careful.” She didn’t look at him.
Joshua’s hand came up and lifted her chin so she’d be looking at him. “Say you’ll marry me and I’ll think about it.”
Faith smiled. “I’ll think about it.”
Joshua’s eyes widened before he smiled. He was happy she hadn’t said no. “Then write to me. Knowing I have a letter from you waiting at home for me will keep me alive.”
Faith sighed as her nerves took over. “Okay.”
Joshua leaned over her, hovering right above her lips. “May I kiss you goodbye, Firefly?”
Faith’s eyes fluttered. “Yes.”
Joshua’s lips softly touched hers and Faith felt the warmth spread all the way down to her toes. She was sure the snow under her feet had melted. When his lips left hers, Faith’s eyes were closed. She heard him get on his horse before she opened her eyes. Staring up at Joshua, it reminded her of the first time she’d met him in the desert last year when her wagon wheel came off. Joshua had come to her rescue then, but now he was leaving, and Faith didn’t want to let him go. “You come back in one piece, Marshal Reaper.”
His face was very serious when he said, “Anything for you.” Then he steered his horse east and headed off on a hard, fast paced ride. Faith didn’t move until he was completely out of site. Once he was gone, she prayed. She prayed for his safety and for both their sanities. Faith wasn’t sure what she was feeling for him, but it bordered on love now, she was almost sure of that.
At first, Faith assumed Joshua was only out to get her kisses, but there was so much more to the man. He didn’t have to help her family out. Joshua seemed to have a connection with them all, a connection she hadn’t noticed before. Of course, that was her fault. She hadn’t wanted to notice it. Whenever Joshua was around, Faith fled. She’d allowed the children to go over to Katherine’s or Hannah’s house while he was in town, but Faith tried to keep herself at a distance from the man with the dark luring eyes. His eyes spoke to her soul; called to her. When Joshua said they were God-fated, Faith thought him mad, but now… She wasn’t sure. No other man made her feel the way Joshua did. Faith’s first romance was young love, but this? This was different. Now, Faith had the mind of a grown woman and she needed to think like one. Could she and Joshua truly make it work? She didn’t know, and thinking about it only made her head ache.
She turned, heading into the store. Peter was standing by the cash register, ringing up a purchase. He smiled at her and Faith smiled back. Joshua seemed to be good for everyone, including herself, but would he stay good? Could he be trusted with the five other people in her life? Could he be trusted with her heart? Only time would tell. Faith decided that she would no longer tell Joshua not to pursue her, but she wasn’t sure if she’d encourage it.
* * *
Joshua slowly inched his eyes open and looked at the coffee and the plate of eggs in front of him. It was probably cold. He fell asleep in the back corner of the bar. The bar was the only thing for miles and he was hungry. Normally, Joshua would stay away from places like this, unless he was there to arrest someone. Places like this reminded him of the life he’d left behind for good.
It had been two weeks since he left Perry Lake, and still he had nothing to show for his time. Big Willie couldn’t be found. Joshua received a wire while at the inn in Perry Lake. One of his informants said Big Willie was spotted up nor
th. Joshua headed north, but it was too late. The only thing left of the outlaw was the body count he’d left behind him in his wake of terror. The man was like a song, there one minute, gone the next, fading into pure nothingness. Big Willie didn’t have a gang. Joshua suspected that was why the man was so good. He didn’t have to work with anyone that could lead a trail back to him. When he arrived in a town, he’d recruit to do a job, and then leave, and Joshua had no clue where he’d went to now.
“Hear he’s heading south,” a voice whispered beside Joshua. Two men sat at the table beside his. They didn’t know that Joshua was up or listening and Joshua wasn’t brandishing his badge. He rarely did. And with his large coat on, no one could tell that he was dressed like a Marshal either, which gave Joshua an edge on everyone in the room. The voice was a male voice, scratchy and small. The voice of someone who preferred using knives on his victims. Joshua didn’t know how he knew that. He just did.
The other man with him spoke next. He had a deeper voice. The voice of a large man. A man who probably preferred to use his fist in a fight. “How do you know?”
Joshua didn’t turn around to confront the men and he didn’t want them to know that he was listening. But he did close his eyes, acting like he was still asleep. Who knew, maybe the men would lead Joshua in the direction of some other crime and make his long journey worth it.
The smaller man continued. “B.W. is coming back to look at my collection, but he said he had to handle some things in Perry Lake first.”
