She lay beneath him without moving as he claimed her with kisses again. Then he pushed her legs apart with his knee. Without a peep, she laid still just waiting, wondering what it would feel like to lose her virginity once and for all.
He positioned his hardened form between her legs, ready to consummate the marriage. Squeezing her eyes closed, she waited for it to happen. And just when she thought he’d plow into her with forceful thrusts, she heard him growl and get off the bed. Her eyes sprang open. He was at the window, staring out, and dragging his hand through his tangled hair.
“Benedict?” she asked in a small voice. He didn’t answer. “Husband,” she said and he finally turned around. “What’s wrong?” she asked. “Why did you stop?”
“I don’t know,” he said softly, shaking his head.
“It is your husbandly right to claim me now that I am your wife.”
“I know.” He moved toward the bed. “I had intended on taking you hard and fast,” he admitted. “Part of me wanted you to suffer for what you’ve put me through lately.”
“I’m sorry, Benedict,” she said. “I didn’t realize the consequences of my actions.”
“It doesn’t matter,” he said with a sigh sitting on the edge of the bed with his elbows resting on his knees. “You were right. Nairnie was right. I’ve turned into some kind of beast. I no longer know who I really am. I guess I turned into Ravenscar after all.”
“Nay. The late Lord Ravenscar was a horrible man. I’ve seen a kindness and a caring side to you, Benedict. I know you are not that beast that everyone thinks you are.” She daringly reached out and gently rested her hand on his shoulder. He turned his head slightly to look back at her.
“You deserve better than this, Autumn. I am sorry.”
“It’s never too late, Benedict. Our marriage might not have started out that great, but perhaps we can make it better.”
“It’s no use.” He stood up. “Get dressed. I’ll sleep in the stable tonight.” He reached for his tunic.
“Nay,” she said, causing him to look up. “I don’t want you to think I’m telling you what to do again, but I – I really would like for you to stay.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“I’m saying I’m sorry and I am saying I believe in you, Benedict. Even if you don’t believe in yourself.”
He played with the tunic in his hand, looking down, seeming to be touched by her words.
“No one has ever told me that before,” he said just barely above a whisper. “You are special, Autumn. I have never met anyone like you before.”
“Come to me,” she said, holding out her hand. “Make love to me and make me your wife in every way.”
He dropped the tunic and walked to the bed, sitting down and reaching for her. But then he pulled back as if he were having second thoughts. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t.”
“I’ve got so much anger and confusion locked inside of me that I’m afraid it’ll come out and I won’t be able to control myself. It’s been a long time.”
“Then let me help you to release that stored up tension so you can have that weight lifted from your shoulders.”
“Are you sure, Autumn? Once I start, I assure you I will not be able to stop. This won’t be like the other times, so don’t think it will.”
“I don’t want it to be like the other times. This time I won’t stop until you are satisfied.”
He took her hands in his and kissed them. “Until we’re both satisfied,” he said.
Gently at first, he laid her on her back, covering her with kisses. However, she could tell he was holding back. She slipped her tongue into his mouth and that seemed to excite him. Returning the action, their tongues danced in love and then his hands slid down her shoulders, covering her breasts. “You are beautiful, my lady,” he told her, not only looking but feeling and tasting her body. It made her excited. When his mouth covered her nipple and his tongue swirled in circles, causing her nipple to peak, she arched her spine and threw back her head.
He seemed to like that. His exploration went further as he continued down to her belly. His tongue shot out and traced her navel. This made her giggle.
Then he slowly slid his hands up her thighs, cupping her womanhood and making her moan in delight.
“I cannot hold out much longer,” he told her, taking his position above her on the bed.
“Don’t hold back, Benedict. I am ready. Ready to experience making love and ready to become your wife.”
He entered her then, sliding his hardened form into her a little at a time. She tensed at first, trying to get used to it. He continued to kiss her and that relaxed her. Then the full length of him slid inside her, stretching her, filling her, making her one with her new husband. That thought alone brought her to life. And when he thrust his length into her and retreated slowly and then repeated the action over and over again, she felt that tingling sensation of pleasure growing. It started between her legs and traveled through her entire body. It was similar to the feeling she had when she was struck by lightning.
Then they did the dance of love, his hips moving faster and faster. His hands slipped behind her buttocks, helping her to find the rhythm. Closing her eyes, she became lost in the moment. Breathing deeply, she felt like she was climbing a precipice and about to fall over the edge.
“It’s all right to cry out, Autumn,” he told her through ragged breathing. “It is natural. No one will hear you but me.”
“I – I think I might,” she said, her hips now moving on their own as she joined with her new husband. She was back in that field where lightning struck her but, this time, it was a different charge of energy that flowed through her body and made her cry out. He sounded like a beast above her with his gruff noises and throaty breathing, but she didn’t care.
“Please, don’t hold back, Benedict,” she told him. As soon as she said it, it was like a flurry of emotions breaking loose. He shouted out in a loud voice as he found his release. When he did, she felt his seed of life enter her body.
Never had she felt as alive as she did right now. Tears formed in her eyes and she pulled Benedict to her in a hug and cradled his head, crying.
His arms closed around her. He fell to the side, pulling her atop him, holding her protectively like he was never going to let her go.
She liked this side of Benedict and wanted to see more of it. Hopefully, now that he’d found his release, he would be free of the beast forever.
Chapter 24
“Lord Ravenscar, Lord Ravenscar,” came the sound of Benedict’s squire as well as the pounding of his fist against the door the next morning.
Autumn sat up, holding the sheet to her chest, having slept naked in her husband’s arms all night. Last night was a night of ecstasy and passion, and something she would never forget for as long as she lived.
Benedict’s eyes popped open and he shot off the bed, grabbing his clothes and dressing quickly. “What is it, Squire?” he called out. “Are we under attack?”
“Attack? My brothers couldn’t possibly be here yet.” Autumn, slid off the bed and donned her clothes quickly as well.
“Nay, it’s the boy,” said Nelek. “Nairnie sent me to fetch Lady Autumn. It seems his health has taken a turn for the worse.”
“Rab?” she called out, wondering what happened since the little boy’s wounds appeared to be healing nicely.
“Nay, it’s the thief boy,” he said.
“Torkel,” said Benedict, fastening his weapon belt around his waist.
“We must hurry. Something is wrong.” Autumn saw her basket of herbs and healing balms still in the room from the other night. She grabbed it and made a beeline for the door. No matter how quickly she moved, Benedict moved faster. He slid the bar hold to the side and yanked open the door.
“Where is he?” asked Benedict.
“He’s still in the tower where you put him,” said Nelek, leading the way at a near run. The
y climbed the tower stairs to find the door to the room open and Sir Gawain standing in the corridor.
“It doesn’t look good, my lord,” said Sir Gawain. “The old healer says he might not even survive.”
“God’s eyes, nay!” Benedict shot into the room followed by Autumn and Nelek. Once inside, he saw Nairnie patting down the boy’s forehead with a wet rag. Enar and Ishbel were at her side. Iona was holding little Rab whose head was down on her shoulder as if he were crying.
“What happened?” asked Autumn, pushing past Benedict and sitting down on the edge of the bed.
“He’s got a fever and it keeps gettin’ worse,” said Nairnie. “I’m no’ sure what’s ailin’ him. If he hadna been locked away all night up here by himself instead of sleepin’ in the room with me and the other children where he belongs, I would have kent sooner that somethin’ was wrong.”
“It’s no one’s fault, Nairnie,” said Autumn, pressing her hand against Torkel’s cheek. “Yes, he is burning up with fever. And it looks as if there’s a rash starting on his arms and legs. Just like your illness, Benedict.” She turned to look at her husband.
“And Ravenscar’s,” said Benedict, feeling a knot in his stomach.
“He cut himself with the dagger that had Ravenscar’s dried blood on it,” said Autumn. “Nairnie, do you think he could have contracted the illness from that?”
“I dinna ken, lassie. But it seems so. I’m afraid the boy might be gettin’ the plague just like Ravenscar.”
“Nay!” said Autumn. “I’m sure that’s not what Ravenscar died from. He couldn’t have had the plague.”
“We canna take the chance, lassie,” Nairnie told her. “Iona, take the children away from here quickly. Everyone, out of the room. If this is another bout with the plague, we could all die.”
Benedict moved to the side as the children all ran from the room in fear. Even Sir Gawain, having overheard what the old woman said, excused himself and left, too.
“Benedict, you’d better go,” said Autumn, opening a jar of balm and starting to spread it onto the child’s skin. “Torkel, don’t worry. I’ll stay here with you until you’re well.”
“I’d better check the other children and make sure they dinna show symptoms,” said Nairnie, getting up and walking to the door. She looked up at Benedict and shook her head, and then silently left the room.
“Nairnie, wait,” he called, stopping her. He felt responsible that the child was hurt, but he knew Torkel’s illness was not the plague. He was pretty sure it had nothing to do with Ravenscar at all. He’d held his secret for too long and now he needed to tell someone. He would only tell Autumn and Nairnie since they were the ones that meant something to him. They were also the healers and needed to know. He couldn’t allow a frenzy to happen amongst his people when he knew Ravenscar hadn’t died from an illness at all.
“What is it?” asked Nairnie.
“I have something to tell you. I want to tell Autumn, too.” He fingered the dagger at his side that was cleaned and sheathed on his belt. “Autumn, come out into the corridor please.”
Everyone was gone and the only other person in the tower was Torkel. He didn’t want the boy to know.
“What is it, Benedict?” Autumn walked out into the corridor wiping her hands on a rag.
“It’s not the plague,” he said.
“We dinna ken that,” that Nairnie.
“I don’t think it’s the plague either, but he did cut himself with the dagger that had Ravenscar’s blood on it,” Autumn told him. “The man died from something, Benedict. No matter what it was, it must have been contagious.” She looked back into the room and a sad expression crossed her face. “I’m afraid Torkel might have whatever Ravenscar died from.”
“Nay, he doesn’t, I tell you.”
“How can ye be so sure?” asked Nairnie. “Ye were the one that said Ravenscar had black buboes on him.”
“I panicked and thought it was the plague but, in reality, he only had some kind of rash like me. The black spots, I know now, where from his bloodletting. I really don’t think he was contagious at all. It must have been just a coincidence that I was sick, too.”
“I’m sorry, Benedict, but the evidence holds true,” Autumn told him. “I wish we knew what Ravenscar died from because then mayhap we would know how to heal Torkel.”
“I killed him,” Benedict blurted out, not thinking how it sounded.
“What?” asked Nairnie and Autumn together.
“Nay, I didn’t mean it like that. He died from a stab to the heart from my dagger, but it’s not what you think at all.” He unsheathed the dagger and held up the blade.
“Put that thing down, ye beast,” spat Nairnie pushing away his arm. “Or did ye plan on killin’ us, too?”
Benedict thought he heard a noise on the spiral staircase, but when he looked over, there was no one there.
“Nairnie, Ravenscar died by this dagger being thrust through his heart, but it was by his own hand,” Benedict tried to explain.
“I thought you just said you killed him,” said Autumn, looking up at him with eyes that said she hoped it wasn’t true. “Your story doesn’t make sense.”
“He wanted me to kill him since he was so miserable,” Benedict continued. “I told him I wouldn’t follow that order. So he asked me to give him my dagger. I figured he wanted to do more bloodletting, so I did as he commanded. However, that wasn’t his intent. He caught me off guard. When I handed it to him, he grabbed my hand in both of his and thrust the blade through his black heart. I was stunned and couldn’t think straight. I guess I dropped the dagger after I pulled it from his chest because I couldn’t find it again afterward. I burned his body and then I became ill. I was too miserable to even think about looking for the dagger.” He looked up to Autumn. “But then this angel cured me and happened to find the dagger as well.”
“Why didna ye tell us this before?” scolded Nairnie.
“I didn’t think anyone would believe me. Ravenscar did tell me everything was mine as soon as he died. But the man was so sick in the head that he decided to play his little game with me. He knew if my men thought I killed him, they’d overthrow me and kill me as well.”
“How can anyone be so cruel?” asked Autumn. “That is horrible. And the fact you had to live with the secret is worse yet. I am so sorry I didn’t just give you the dagger right away, Benedict. I even neglected to clean it, so this is all my fault.” She looked back to Torkel lying with his eyes closed upon the bed.
“Autumn, heal Torkel,” said Benedict, hearing the quaver of his own voice. “Heal him the way you did to me.”
Autumn’s face clouded over and he could see sadness in her eyes. “I – I don’t think I can. It seems I have just about lost my healing touch and I’m not sure why.”
“It couldna hurt to try, lassie,” agreed Nairnie.
Autumn looked over to Torkel again, bit her bottom lip and nodded. “I’ll try. For Torkel’s sake.”
Benedict watched as Autumn tried to heal the boy. When it didn’t work, she shook her head and seemed as if she were about to cry.
“We’ll have to try something else with herbs,” she said. “I will go to the kitchen and make him a hot herbal tincture to drink. I will also make up a potent potion of peppermint, garlic, ginger, cinnamon and cloves that will hopefully stimulate his blood flow and draw out the fever.”
“Do you think it’ll work?” asked Benedict hopefully.
“We have no other choice but to try it,” she said. “Torkel’s life may depend on it.”
“Stay here with the lad, I’ll go,” said Nairnie. “I could use a walk as I’ve been here for hours now.”
“Let me escort you,” said Benedict, taking hold of Nairnie’s arm to help her down the steep staircase.
As soon as Benedict dropped off Nairnie at the kitchen and made his way out into the great hall, he noticed Oxley on his horse, headed for the drawbridge.
“Oxley, where are you going?” he
called out.
“Sir Oxley,” the man ground out under his breath. “The hunting party is preparing to leave my lord, and I thought I’d go down to the dock and see the progress on the ship before we leave.”
“Aye, I forgot about the hunt I’d planned for today. Have you rounded up a half-dozen of the men only, as I’ve asked? Since our defenses are weak at the moment, I don’t want to let too many of the men leave the castle at once.”
“I have, my lord. The falconer and the kennelgroom are already waiting outside the gates with the animals as well. Will you be joining us on the hunt?”
“Nay, not today,” he said, having too much on his mind and wanting to stay near the castle.
“I understand. I’m sure you’ll want to stay close to your new wife, as well as that injured little thief since he is so sick.”
“How did you know Torkel has taken a turn for the worse?”
“Your squire told me,” said Oxley.
“All right, then. Get going. You will lead the hunting party. But don’t be long. I want everyone back inside the castle gate before nightfall. I’m expecting visitors at my door soon since Lady Autumn’s guard is bound to alert them.”
“Of course, my lord.” Oxley left.
Benedict turned and noticed the children pulling Nelek toward the garden. Some of his hounds followed, barking playfully. He walked over to see what was going on.
“Nelek. Shouldn’t you be getting things ready on the practice yard?” he asked. “I want the remaining men who have not left for the hunt, there in fifteen minutes.”
“The children wanted me to go with them to see the baby robins since Autumn is with Torkel,” said Nelek.
“I’ll take them,” said Benedict, which only managed to make the children cringe.
“Uh, my lord,” said Nelek, pulling him to the side. “You might want to know that the children are all afraid of you.”
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