“Nonsense,” he said. “They don’t fear me any longer.” He took a step toward the children and then stopped in his tracks when he heard Nelek’s next words.
“Yes, they do – after last night.”
Benedict turned around and walked back to Nelek. “What about last night?”
“Enar said they heard you growling like a bear, and then Lady Autumn screaming. I’ve been trying to convince them that you weren’t hurting her and that you’re really not the beast they think you are.”
“God’s teeth, did they hear us making love?”
“I think the whole castle heard you, my lord. You tend to be very loud and Lady Autumn wasn’t very silent, either.”
“Oh, no,” he groaned, wondering how he was going to explain this to a bunch of children. “Thanks for warning me.” He headed over to the orphans, smiling, trying to look friendly. His dog, Bailey, ran up barking and he bent over to pet it. Then the dog headed out to the garden, proceeding to roll around in the plants. “I hear you want to see the baby robins,” Benedict said to the children. “I would like to take you to see them since Lady Autumn is busy.”
“Nay, we’ll wait,” said Enar, heading away.
“Children, you don’t need to fear me.”
“Ye were hurtin’ Lady Autumn,” said Rab bravely.
“Shhh, Rab, nay!” Ishbel warned him.
“It’s all right,” said Benedict. “I know you all thought I was hurting my wife, but I wasn’t.”
“Then what were ye doin’?” asked Rab.
“We were – we were just . . .” He looked over to the children all staring at him, waiting for his answer. Iona smiled, knowing what was going on, but the others were watching him closely.
“Let’s go to the nest,” suggested Iona, leading the way. Benedict flashed her a smile of gratitude and entered the garden with the children.
“This garden looks beautiful,” he said in surprise. “I had no idea there were so many herbs in here under all the weeds.”
“That’s lavender,” said Rab pointing at the tall, green stalks with purple flowers.
“And this is rosemary,” said Enar, reaching down and plucking a stalk and sniffing it.
“Enar, dinna pick the herbs,” said Iona. “You ken Lady Autumn doesna like that.”
“What other herbs are in here?” he asked curiously, watching Bailey roll around in every one of them.
“Would ye like us to show ye?” It was Ishbel who offered. It surprised Benedict that she spoke at all since she was so timid. The children showed him the entire garden, while several of Benedict’s dogs ran around chasing each other.
“Bailey’s in the rue again,” said Rab, pointing at the dog.
“Lady Autumn won’t like that,” said Benedict, walking over to collect the dog. “And I don’t like it because you just had a bath in the lake and now you’re dirty again,” he told the dog. Benedict picked up Bailey, holding him close to his chest. Bailey reached up to lick his face. Benedict chuckled and rubbed his cheek against the dog’s soft fur and then brushed pieces of the plants off of it before he headed over to the nest with the children. “Would you like me to lift you up to see into the nest?” Benedict asked little Rab.
“Iona can lift him,” said Enar, still not accepting Benedict.
“Are you sure?” asked Benedict. “I’m very strong and I won’t drop you.” He smiled again and spoke in a soft tone so as not to scare the children.
Rab raised his hands in acceptance. Benedict put down the dog and scooped up the little boy under his arms, holding him in front of the nest. All of a sudden, Rab started crying.
“What’s the matter?” asked Benedict, putting the boy down quickly, thinking he’d somehow hurt him though he’d barely touched him.
Rab just kept crying and looking at the nest.
“They’re gone,” said Enar standing on his tiptoes, peering over the edge.
“Gone?” Iona looked into the nest and frowned. “The baby birds have disappeared.”
“Mayhap they flew away already,” said Benedict, trying to calm the children.
“They didna have enough feathers yet to fly,” said Ishbel with tears in her eyes.
“I wonder where they are.” Iona started looking around the ground. “Mayhap they fell out of the nest.”
“I dinna think Torkel took them since he was locked up,” said Enar scowling at Benedict as he said it.
“They might have been eaten by a predator, or mayhap they died during the night and the mother removed them from the nest,” said Benedict, trying to be helpful. That only made Rab cry harder. All the children looked as if they were horrified by what he said.
“We even named them. Their names were Peep and Tweet,” said Enar. “Now, they’re gone forever.”
“Well, it’s just the cycle of life,” he told them, trying to be practical. His father had always told him that while growing up and he had accepted it without a second thought. However, it wasn’t working so well here.
“I want Lady Autumn,” cried Rab.
“Come here,” said Iona, lifting the boy. “I’ll take ye to her.”
“Nay, Torkel has the plague and is goin’ to die,” shouted Enar. “We canna go near him. Lady Autumn is goin’ to die now as well.”
Rab started bawling at that.
“No one’s got the plague and no one is going to die,” Benedict told them, but they didn’t listen to him. They were working their way into a dither.
Benedict didn’t like the sound of crying and stormed away. He was sorry now that he’d ever tried to help the children because all he seemed to do was make matters worse.
“Where are you going?” asked Nelek, as Benedict passed him in the courtyard.
“I’m going to the dock where I can, hopefully, find some peace of mind.”
* * *
“So ye got acquainted with the beast last night after all, didna ye, lass?” Nairnie asked as soon as Autumn entered the kitchen to get fresh water before she went back to Torkel’s side.
“He’s not a beast, Nairnie.” She walked over and ladled some water from a bucket into the basin in her hands. “Benedict is a kind, loving, person and will make a wonderful husband.”
“That’s no’ the way it sounded to the rest of the castle last night.”
“What do you mean?” She stopped ladling the water and looked up in question.
“I mean, we all heard yer screams and also his growls as he forced himself on ye.”
“He didn’t force himself on me, Nairnie. Matter of fact, he wouldn’t even have consummated the marriage if I hadn’t coaxed him into it. He’s not the beast everyone thinks he is.”
“I ken deep down Benedict has a kind heart, even if he doesna always show it. Dinna forget I raised him for four years of his life as my own child.”
“Didn’t you ever have children of your own, Nairnie?”
“I did. Once. I had a son.”
“Did he die?”
“I dinna ken,” she answered. “I was in love with a Sassenach who was a fisherman. He promised to marry me, but he never did. When my son, Cato, was very young, the wretched man took my child from me and I never saw either of them again.”
“That’s so sad, Nairnie. I’m sorry.”
“I tell myself that Cato was claimed by the sea. Because if he lived and never knew about me because of his faither keepin’ the secret, I swear I would kill myself for never tryin’ to go after him. I didna ken where they went or else I would have followed them. I lived my life in solitude after that, never wantin’ to go through the heartbreak of losin’ another child. Finally, the Gordon Clan took me in. But they rejected me when I raised Benedict as my own. It took a lot of convincing on my part for them to take me back again after Benedict left me.”
“That’s why you took Benedict under your wing, wasn’t it? To take the place of Cato?”
“Aye. I suppose I was tryin’ to replace Cato. But Benedict left me as well.”
&nb
sp; “You know why he did it. To save your life.”
“I ken that now but didna ken for many years. I thought I was cursed and wasna meant to be happy in this lifetime.”
“Nairnie, didn’t you ever have a vision of what happened to your son?”
“Nay, and neither do I want to. Since most of my visions have to do with death, I would rather just forget about him altogether.”
“Would you mind looking after Torkel?” asked Autumn. “I’d like to see how my husband is doing. He was very upset about what happened with the late Lord Ravenscar and I’m worried about him.”
“You mean how he killed Lord Ravenscar with his dagger and then claimed everything for himself?” asked a guard standing nearby that had overheard her.
“Where did you hear gossip like that?” asked Autumn.
“Sir Oxley heard the information right from Lord Ravenscar’s mouth,” announced the man. “There are a lot of unhappy knights and soldiers and rightly so. We don’t want to pledge our allegiance to a liar. Sir Oxley should have been the next lord of Ravenscar and everyone knows it.”
“That’s not the truth, Sir Knight, and you need to tell the others,” proclaimed Autumn. “The late Lord Ravenscar took his own life and used the new Lord Ravenscar’s dagger to do it.”
“That’s not what Sir Oxley says. He’s already got most the men roiled up. He plans on taking over Ravenscar Castle as his own and most of us are behind him.”
“Nay, that’s awful.” She turned back and whispered to Nairnie. “I’ve got to tell Benedict.” Autumn ran from the kitchen, making her way out to the courtyard where she found Nelek and the orphans.
“Lady Autumn, the baby robins are missin’ from the nest,” said Iona.
“They’re dead. Lord Ravenscar said somethin’ ate them and it is just a part of life,” added Enar.
Rab started crying. Autumn went to him and picked up the boy and kissed his cheek.
“Children, I am heartbroken as well, but I’m sure the mother robin will have more babies. We’ll have to watch for them. In the meantime, you must not hate Lord Ravenscar because he is a good man and also in trouble.”
“Trouble?” asked Nelek looking around. “What kind of trouble?”
“Nelek, where is my husband?”
“He’s gone down to the dock, my lady.”
“Take me to him, quickly. Children, stay in the garden for now and away from the castle gate. If you hear fighting of any kind, hide in the undercroft. Do you understand me?”
“Aye, my lady,” said Iona, rounding up the children. “What about Torkel?”
“If there’s trouble, I’m sure Torkel will find a way to avoid it. He’s good about things like that.”
“So Torkel’s no’ goin’ to die?” asked Enar.
“I have faith that he will recover soon. I’ve taken good care of him and now it is in God’s hands. We all need to keep good thoughts in our minds about him. I’m sure by the morning, he’ll be just fine. Now hurry. And Nelek, we need to hurry, too. I’m afraid my husband is in a lot of trouble and doesn’t even know it.”
Chapter 25
“What do you mean Oxley never showed up at the dock today?” Benedict asked one of the workers who had volunteered to come with a group of men from the town to help repair the ship.
“I’m sorry, my lord, but we haven’t seen him,” said Robert, the butcher.
“Mayhap he was here and some of the workers just don’t know who he is,” said Benedict.
“Nay, Lord Ravenscar,” said the town’s blacksmith, Wallace. “We all know him since he is the one who collects the taxes of ten shillings from each business every month.”
“Ten? asked Benedict. “You mean five.”
“Nay, my lord. He has been collecting the same amount from us for over two years now. He said the late Lord Ravenscar had raised our taxes. The townspeople are so poor that most of them are starving. Without the ships docking in the harbor, we have no one to sell our wares to or even to trade with so we can feed our families.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know about this,” said Benedict. “I assure you the situation will be remedied and you will all be compensated for being overtaxed. I’ll see to it personally just as soon as I can.”
“Thank you, my lord,” said Robert excitedly, with Wallace nodding in agreement. “And thank you for letting us work on the repairs of your ship as well. It gives us hope that, someday, we’ll once again be able to support our families and fix up our town the way it used to be.”
“Every worker here will receive not only coin but food and clothes for their family,” Benedict said loud enough for everyone to hear him. The workers were excited and new life sprang forth from them. “And as soon as the ship is operable again, I’ll need a crew to help with trade from other ports.”
“But no one trades with Ravenscar,” Robert pointed out. “There hasn’t even been a ship to stop here in years except for the one that was forced to dock by the storm.”
“Lady Autumn’s ship,” said Wallace, obviously having heard why she was there.
“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of all that,” he assured them. “In the meantime, I want to see hard workers and I want loyalty. Don’t any of you even think of betraying me.”
“Aye, my lord. We’ll be as loyal to you as your knights,” said Robert. The rest of the townsfolk agreed. That only made Benedict feel more unsettled that no one had seen Oxley since he left the castle. He could have gone with the hunting party but, somehow, Benedict had the feeling he was up to no good. He now regretted not going along on the hunt to keep an eye on the man.
Benedict reached down and picked up Bailey who had followed him from the castle onto the dock. Several other of his dogs had followed him as well. If only life were as easy to live as it was for a hound. Hounds didn’t have the troubles and problems weighing on their minds as he did.
He leaned against the wooden railing, running a hand over the dog’s back, looking out to the sea. Far in the distance, he saw the silhouette of one ship and then another. But they wouldn’t stop here. Everyone feared him too much to dock at his port. This bothered Benedict immensely. At one time, Ravenscar was a bustling port. When his father was alive, there were ships here all the time with traders from all around that came with their wares to the castle as well as the town. He remembered coming to the dock with his father and climbing aboard one of Ravenscar’s three ships to play. But when he’d returned to the castle after being gone four years, things slowly started to change. Eventually, Ravenscar sold two of the ships and the one left had much to be desired. No one seemed to know what he did with the money. He certainly hadn’t been using it for food or repairs on the castle. Ravenscar never told a soul – not even Benedict why the castle’s coffers were so empty.
Benedict thought of how he had admired his father when he was a boy. He wondered if his father had to live through this turmoil in his mind that Benedict had for years?
Bailey squirmed in his arms and he put the dog on the ground, still thinking about his father. Sir William Grenfell was Ravenscar’s Captain of the Guard at one time. He was also a very loyal knight. Did Ravenscar corrupt him the way he did Benedict? He pondered the thought.
Rubbing his fingers over the scar on his face, he found himself wondering what would have happened to him if he’d been able to stay with Nairnie and grow up in Scotland, instead. He couldn’t help still hating the Scots since it was the battle with the Scots that took the life of his father and scarred him for life in more ways than one. He’d held a lot of hatred in his heart for a long time. Working for Ravenscar, trying to follow in his father’s footsteps, only managed to make Benedict a very dark man.
But things were different now that Autumn was his wife. He felt as if his life were changing. She was such a loving, caring person, always helping those in need. She even said she believed in Benedict when he’d been having doubts lately if he even believed in himself.
He once thought power, titles, and hold
ings were all that mattered. But when he saw the lifeless eyes of the townspeople light up just at the mention of a few coins and a few scraps of food, he realized he had, indeed, been going down the wrong path.
Aye, he had been turning into a beast little by little and didn’t even realize it. If Autumn hadn’t come into his life, he was sure he would have turned out just like Ravenscar by now. Never had he thought he’d be taking the time to teach a woman about making love . . . and leaving her a virgin in the process. That was one of the hardest things he’d ever done in his life.
He wasn’t sure what was happening to him, but Autumn made him want to pay attention to the little things in life - like looking at baby birds with a bunch of orphans of war. He also found himself caring if a thieving orphan should live or die. Torkel reminded Benedict a lot of himself when he was a boy.
Benedict pulled the dagger his father had given him from his sheath and held it up to inspect it.
It was clean now, but it didn’t matter. In his mind, he would always see the blood covering it. Whenever he looked at it, he would remember just what Ravenscar did to him. Nightmares of the man laughing at him as Benedict plunged the dagger into his heart would haunt him til the day he died. That made Benedict start to wonder. Had his father killed women and children with this dagger at Ravenscar’s command? He flipped it over in his palm, seeing the rays of the sun reflecting on it. He didn’t know the answer to that.
But even if his father had, was Benedict any better than him? Because of this dagger, Torkel was dying. If the boy died, he would never forgive himself. Even if Torkel set Lester free, it no longer mattered.
Like Autumn said – they were married now. They had an alliance with not just Whitehaven where her brother, Rowen, lived, but also Naward where her brother, Rook, made his abode. The alliance would stretch all the way to parts of Scotland where her brother, Reed, and her father, Ross Douglas, lived as well.
Autumn was smart. It was a good move to get married. Not only for the sake of an alliance but because he liked having her around. Nay, he liked having her as his wife. Together, they could make a difference at Ravenscar and, hopefully, correct the mistakes of the past.
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