Forever

by Pati Nagle

  We should get to Caeran’s soon. They will be expecting us.

  I looked around him at the clock. Almost six.

  OK.

  I sat up, feeling a little groggy. We were still deeply connected, which meant our senses overlapped and I had two views of the bedroom, overlaid. I felt him draw back a little.

  I wondered if we’d made much noise. Not that it mattered, because omigod. I’d do it again in a hot second.

  He chuckled. I gave him a dirty look.

  Reading my mind again.

  I make no apologies. And by the way, I agree.

  You’re going out hunting alben again tonight?

  Every night, until we find them.

  Damn.

  I picked up a shirt. It was Lomen’s. I handed it over and looked for more clothes among the rumpled bedding.

  So rest well. We have no classes tomorrow.

  Boy, howdy.

  We got dressed. I got out my bike, which I wanted to take to Caeran’s so I’d have it for getting around.

  “I can walk it,” I said, collecting my pack.

  No need.

  We left, and I locked up. Noticed movement in the neighbor’s window; the curtain fell back into place as I looked.

  The day was heading toward sunset, light just getting a golden tinge and the shadows slanting long. I walked the bike to the street, got on, then glanced at Lomen.

  Go ahead. I’ll keep up.

  I rode down the street to the corner and turned east. Lomen jogged along beside me. I didn’t try to race him—we were going uphill so I wasn’t going that fast—but I wasn’t crawling along either. He kept pace with me, even though I was working hard by the time we were halfway to Len and Caeran’s.

  I glanced at him a couple of times. When we stopped for a traffic light I was breathing hard. He hadn’t even broken a sweat.

  Damn. You’re superman.

  He laughed softly. Hardly.

  Compared to me you are.

  He didn’t answer that. Too close to uncomfortable truths, maybe.

  I didn’t apologize. Turned away from regret. Kept going.

  The porch light was on at Len and Caeran’s. I parked my bike by the front door and hesitated, wondering if I should knock. Lomen answered that by opening the door and walking in.

  I heard the clink of plates and saw Amanda setting the table in the dining nook. Caeran was in the living room, on his feet. He turned to look at us—Lomen, then me, then Lomen again. His eyebrows went up a bit.

  “Dinner’s ready.”

  I went down the hall to the bathroom to wash my face and hands. Cold water cooled me down and gave me the chance to shield. When I came back the sideboard was full of food and Amanda and Lomen were already helping themselves.

  It was lasagne, with salad and garlic bread on the side. I was hungry, and forgave myself for loading my plate. I’d had a vigorous ride up, after all.

  Len poured red wine all around and raised her glass. “To Ebonwatch’s success.”

  I drank the toast, reflecting on all the things it could mean.

  “So,” she said, “how was today?”

  “Good,” Amanda said. “I figured out how to set up the business so the seed money isn’t taxable.”

  She rattled on a while. I listened with half an ear while I dug into my dinner. Len talked about her own classes—she liked them—and Lomen mentioned changing his schedule.

  I wasn’t hot to talk about my day. Not all of it had been fun, and the most fun part wasn’t appropriate for dinner conversation.

  “I changed my schedule, too,” I said. “Dropped physics and the student-assisting job. Added molecular biology.”

  “Be sure and let me know about any fees,” Amanda said. “And your texts. We’ll pick up the cost.”

  Texts! I’d forgotten to check about texts for the biology and genetics classes. I’d do it after dinner.

  “I talked to Madóran today,” Caeran said. “We’ve decided that the Evennight celebration will be at his place.”

  Len looked unhappy. “Aw, I had it all planned!”

  “I’m sorry. It is better this way—with alben in Albuquerque, we dare not risk...”

  “No, you’re right, of course.” Len put on a smile. “We’ll host Midwinter.”

  “If the situation here is resolved by then.”

  Lomen picked up his glass. “Here’s to that.”

  We all drank. This time I noticed the wine: fruity but not sweet, dry on the finish. I reached for the bottle to read the label. Montepulciano, Italy.

  “You a connoisseur?” Amanda asked.

  “Hardly. Just trying to educate myself.”

  “Caeran picked it,” Len said. “He knows a lot about wine. He’s educating all of us.”

  I glanced at Caeran, who tossed it off with a shrug. “Madóran knows more. He actually makes wine.”

  “And carves furniture, and makes pottery. And soap,” I said. “What else does he do?”

  Amanda chortled. “Name it. He’s a great cook, too.”

  “He’s a healer,” Len said, her tone suddenly serious.

  “Yeah,” Amanda said. “That’s his main thing.”

  “We all have cause to be grateful for his skill at healing,” Caeran said.

  All their faces went sober. Amanda and Len both nodded. I met Lomen’s gaze, and he gave me a tiny nod as well.

  I did a quick shield, wanting to keep my reflections to myself. The conversation moved on while I thought about why they might all have needed healing. I told myself that it was in the past, that those alben were gone. But there were the new alben to deal with. The clan wouldn’t be trying to track them down unless they considered them a threat.

  Depressing. I tried to pay attention to what the others were saying, but I couldn’t quite reconnect. By the time we’d finished eating and clearing away the leftovers, the sun was down and Lomen was on the phone with Savhoran. I sat next to him on the couch, and picked up Amanda’s tablet from the coffee table.

  “Can I use this?” I whispered.

  She nodded. I looked up the texts for my new classes on the UNM Bookstore’s website. There were ebook versions available. I’d download them later.

  With a pang of envy, I handed the tablet back to Amanda, mouthing my thanks. I’d been scrimping, hoping to eventually get one, but the good ones weren’t cheap.

  Lomen hung up the phone and looked at Amanda. “I’m to take your car and meet them, if you don’t mind.”

  “Sure,” she said, and dug the keys out of her pocket.

  He stood and took them. “See you later.”

  I watched him head for the door. He looked back and caught my eye, smiled a little, then went out.

  “I didn’t know he could drive,” I said into the silence.

  “He can handle an automatic,” Amanda said. “Barely. What the hell, it’s second-hand.”

  Len laughed. “Manda’s teasing you,” she told me. “They all learn fast. Caeran got his license a month after he started.”

  I looked at Caeran. “Is it strange for you? Driving a car?”

  He shrugged. “Easier than driving a wagon. Horses are unpredictable.”

  Horses. Jeez.

  “If the hunting looks to continue much longer, we’ll get Lomen a car. You should not have to sacrifice yours, Manda.”

  “Eh, I’m not going anywhere at night anyway,” she said. “I’m getting itchy for a poker tournament, though.”

  “Aren’t there some during the day?” Len asked.

  “Yeah. Hey, let’s play now! You know how to play poker, right Steve?”

  “Uh...I know the basics.”

  “Ever play Texas Hold’em?”

  “No.”

  “It’s easy. Come on!”

  She got up and pulled two decks of cards out of a cupboard, then went to the dining table. The rest of us followed.

  “I’d prefer to play bridge,” Caeran said as he took a chair. “There are four of us.”

&nbs
p; Amanda frowned. “That takes too long to learn. Do you know bridge, Steve?”

  I shook my head.

  “He’s a math whiz,” Len said. “He’d pick it up fast.”

  “Poker first,” said Amanda.

  I glanced at Caeran, sitting across from me, and hid a smile. We shared a guy moment.

  Amanda pulled the cards out of their boxes and handed one deck to Len to shuffle. She launched into an explanation and started dealing.

  At first I thought the game stupidly simple. Each player had only two cards, with five more shared on the board in a version of seven-card stud. It seemed mostly a game of chance, but as we played I realized a lot depended on the players’ choices. By the end of an hour I was intrigued.

  Len went out first, yielding most of her chips to Amanda. I was still figuring out the odds, which were different from those of regular poker. A couple of miscalculations cost me most of my stack, and a last-ditch attempt to recoup failed when none of the cards that would give me either a straight or a flush—outs, Amanda called them—came through.

  “Heads up,” Amanda said, looking at Caeran as she handed the made deck to Len. “Don’t let me win.”

  “I would not dream of insulting you so,” Caeran said.

  Len pushed the cards from the previous deal toward me. “Steve, would you shuffle?”

  “Sure.”

  I couldn’t do the fancy riffle Amanda did. I could barely keep up with shuffling each deck a few times and handing it over as it was needed.

  Amanda had the majority of chips, but with a win now and then Caeran made steady gains. I found myself wondering if he was reading Amanda’s thoughts. He gave me a sharp glance and I focused on the shuffling for a while, cheeks burning. The girls didn’t notice.

  I quietly shielded, then ventured a glance at Caeran. He gave me a cool look. I was oddly reminded of the old tradition of duelling, where one gentleman could call another out to fight with pistols or swords over an insult such as the accusation of cheating at cards.

  It wasn’t quite so formal in the old west. The pistols were right handy and the shooting could happen at the table.

  I wondered if I would ever get used to being around these ælven. It was sure training me to watch what I thought about.

  The chips evened up, then Caeran edged ahead. Amanda’s betting got even more risky. She bet heavily on a flop of ace, jack, ten, mixed suits. Caeran called her. She continued to bet hard and Caeran kept calling, for a turn card of seven diamonds and a river of nine clubs. She showed two pair, aces and tens, and Caeran laid down queen-eight.

  “Straight,” Len said, pushing the pot to Caeran.

  “You should have taken me all in,” Amanda said grumpily.

  “You might have had the higher straight,” said Caeran.

  He now had about two thirds of the chips. Amanda pulled back and won a couple of small pots, but Caeran kept the lead. It took about half an hour more for him to get the rest of her chips. Finally she went all in on three fives, but Caeran had a flush.

  She sighed. “You win.”

  Caeran smiled. “Good game.”

  Amanda returned a wry smile and collected the cards, stuffing them back into their boxes. I checked the time and was surprised to see it was almost ten.

  “Who wants dessert?” Len said. “It’s tiramisu.”

  We all opted in for that. Caeran offered to make coffee. I ducked away to my room to download my textbooks before I forgot. When I got back, they had the TV on and were watching the news.

  Caeran served up the tiramisu and steaming mugs of coffee. Amanda was in her chair, Len on the couch near Caeran’s chair. I sat cross-legged on the other end of the couch and balanced my coffee on the arm.

  As we watched the news, I realized I was bracing for a story about another killing. Everything the clan had told me about the alben, though, indicated that there would be about a week between killings. They didn’t need to feed more often than that.

  A week here, trapped indoors after dark. I had a feeling cards would get old.

  We got to the weather without anything worse than a domestic violence incident. By the end of the forecast I had finished my dessert. I glanced at the others, whose plates were also clean.

  “Great dessert, Caeran,” I said, standing up. “Thanks.”

  “There’s more.”

  “Oh, no. I’m stuffed.”

  I collected the others’ plates and took them to the kitchen. Caeran followed me in and poured himself more coffee. I caught his eye.

  “Sorry,” I said softly as I rinsed the dishes. “I knew you wouldn’t do that.”

  He didn’t quite smile, but his face softened. “No, I wouldn’t. I do value your trust. And the Creed bids us to honor the privacy of others.”

  “I’m just paranoid, I guess.”

  “You have good reason. I sometimes forget to ignore unshielded thoughts.”

  I took a dishtowel off its hook and dried my hands. “I’m still learning.”

  “Yes. You’re doing fine.” He added a dollop of cream to his coffee. “I put your bike in the garage. Things have disappeared off of porches in this neighborhood from time to time.”

  “Thanks.”

  He smiled briefly, then went back in the living room. I headed for the bathroom; after my bike ride, I needed a shower. By the time I was done, Len and Caeran had gone to bed.

  Amanda was sitting in the living room, watching a late night talk show with the sound off. I went in to say goodnight.

  “Finally,” she said, glaring at me. “I’ve been waiting to brush my teeth.”

  “I’m sorry. I should have asked if you needed the bathroom.”

  “Yeah.” She got up and started down the hall.

  “Amanda?”

  She turned, arms crossed. I didn’t want to leave things on that note, so I followed her and lowered my voice so as not to disturb the others.

  “I’m sorry,” I said again. “I know I’ve made it uncomfortable for you here. Would you rather sleep in the bedroom? I don’t mind switching.”

  Her frown faded and she sighed. “No, you don’t have to do that. Sorry, I’m just cranky. Guess I’m a sore loser.”

  “Is that it? Want to play a few hands with me? I’m sure you’ll skunk me.”

  She laughed. “No, thanks. I’ll beat Caeran next time, maybe. We’ll have plenty of chances for a rematch.”

  “Yeah, I was thinking about that. I’m not used to this routine yet.”

  “I’m not either. I hate it.”

  That surprised me. It must have showed in my face, because she went on.

  “This is how Savhoran got infected. Hunting alben. I hate thinking about him out there. Not that he can get any more infected.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that. The thought that Lomen was in danger that way made my gut sink.

  I went to bed, expecting to like awake fretting, but the day had been long and stressful and I fell asleep almost immediately. If I dreamed, I didn’t remember.

  I woke up feeling warm. Gradually I realized it wasn’t a physical warmth.

  I opened my eyes. Lomen was in the room.

  He was sitting on the floor with his back against the dresser, eyes closed, hands on his knees. Looked like he was meditating. I figured I shouldn’t disturb him.

  Going back to sleep was not going to be possible, so I lay on my side and watched him for a while. Just gazed at his face, memorizing its lines. The morning sun seeping in around the edges of the curtains cast a soft light on his features.

  At rest, he looked peaceful, Buddha-like, except for the tiny crease that never seemed to leave his brow. I wondered if it was etched there. Ælven might not age, but stress could do things to a person’s face.

  He didn’t seem stressed now. His body was relaxed. His hair was loose and spilled down his shoulders over his chest. I loved that it was long.

  Now that I knew both of them better, I didn’t think he looked at all like Caeran. That puzzled me,
because I knew that they were extremely alike physically. It was themselves showing through the physical that made them feel so different.

  Caeran was more formal, more serious. When I looked at him I did not have the same gut reaction that I got from looking at Lomen. He was different, plain and simple. Not to mention, he was taken.

  I liked Len. I’d never want to hurt her. She’d always been helpful when she worked in the library and I needed some obscure book. Amanda, too, but it was Len I had first made friends with.

  And now, because of that friendship, I was here in her house, gazing at my new lover who was just breathtaking. In the last few days I had seriously changed the course of my college education, and possibly my future career. I’d quit the job I had counted on to offset my already-frightening student loan balance.

  I was either a brilliant risk-taker, or a stupid ass.

  A knock on the door startled me.

  “Waffles,” Amanda called from the hallway.

  “OK,” I said thickly.

  I looked back at Lomen, who had opened his eyes. “You hungry?” I whispered.

  He nodded, and the sharpness in his eyes told me hungry was an understatement. I threw off the covers and got up, stepping around Lomen to rummage in my bag for fresh jeans. There were none; I found a pair of shorts and pulled them on.

  A hand on my thigh made me gasp. He was still on the floor, looking up at me, touching me with a different kind of hunger in his gaze.

  I knelt beside him. He touched my face, then closed his eyes as he leaned his forehead against mine.

  I really must eat something.

  OK.

  His weariness surprised me, worried me a little. I felt him smile.

  Don’t fret. I’ve been neglecting to rest, is all. The last few days have been...eventful.

  No kidding. Did you find anything?

  No. We searched the area around the university, but there was no new sign of them.

  I kissed his cheek, then pulled back.

  Let’s get you some waffles.

  I stood and adjusted my shorts, wishing again for jeans. Maybe I’d ride home after breakfast and collect some more clothing.

  Lomen got up, rolling his shoulders as if they were stiff. I wanted to offer to rub them, but that would delay his breakfast.

  Later, I will take you up on it.

  He was still wearing yesterday’s clothes. I pulled on a t-shirt and we went out.