Through the Windshield Glass
Page 17
It just so happened that the day I confronted Michael was the day I estimated to be my birthday, not that it mattered in Beyond, but I felt like more of an adult for being officially eighteen. The feeling gave me courage to confront Michael.
Leigh had to use the bathroom, and since she had to use the door in my room to get there, Michael had no route for escape.
"Are you ever going to tell me what's going on in your meetings?" I asked.
Michael looked at me in surprise, his expression quickly turned to bashfulness, but just as quickly he schooled his emotions and delivered a very convincing lie, "We haven't had any meetings since the one you attended."
"Liar!" I shrieked. Maria jumped and grunted, "Loud!"
"I'm not lying," Michael protested unconvincingly.
"Why aren't you telling me?" I asked.
"It's not important."
"Obviously it is or you'd tell me."
I had Michael on that one. He ran his hand through his hair again and sighed heavily, "Daman made contact. He knows you're here and he wants us to take you to him. He insists there be no traps, and he insists that you go unconscious."
"I think that's extremely important! Why didn't you tell me earlier? We could have sent me off already and this whole thing would already be over with!"
Michael shook his head, "You don't understand. I don't think he intends for you to wake up, he may even already know what we were planning to do."
"What do you mean he doesn't want me to wake up? He told me he wanted to make me his queen; don't I kind of need to be conscious to do that?" I asked.
"I've spoken with Max, Avery, and Gregor, we think he may be planning to possess you the way he did Rebecca. In a sense, you'll never wake upp, you'll just be a puppet."
"But he's already married to Kinga! Wouldn't she be the better prize?"
"Daman never was one for monogamy. Kinga didn't work out well for him, and he must have gotten bored with her mother. Max feels that to Daman, you are just another trophy to be collected, it may be even another way to get back at Kinga because she left him before he was done with her." Michael finished.
That certainly made me feel good, I was just a prize, an object Daman wanted to possess, nothing more.
"So when do we leave? Let's end this guy." I felt the insensitivity of my words as I spoke them. I knew Michael loved his brother despite everything he had done, and I seriously doubted he wanted to see him die again. However, as much as he hated it, Michael was willing to do what he had to do to make things right again.
"We have to find a way to get you back safely. We're not going to let you just go in to this without a way out." Michael replied. He finally looked me in the eye and I realized how scared he was.
"Don't be afraid for me," I said quickly, "What's the worst that could happen?"
Once again, it was the wrong thing to say. Michael answered so seriously it was incredible the room didn't go dark with the mood, "I--we don't even want to think about that. That's the reason we haven't acted yet, we need your help but we also need you safe."
"Well, I'm glad you're concerned for my safety, but since it's my life on the line I would like to be informed about all the threats to it and what I can do to help."
Michael looked uneasy, "I don't want you trying to convince other people to take risks on your life."
"What say do you have on risks for my life? If I'm comfortable with the plan then you should be too. If I die or it doesn't work out right the blame is on me for being willing to go through with it, not you. So I don't know why you're so worried, I never expected to live through the whole plan anyway. For all I know killing Daman could do the same to me, and I'm fine with that, so don't tell me what I can and cannot do with my mortality!"
"Okay, Alice," Michael said, "If you really feel like you're going to die with the current plan than I'm vetoing it right now. We'll figure something else out."
"No!" I shouted. Maria shrieked and ran from her spot on my bed to hide in a corner of the room.
"Alice, you don't have to die. Stop trying to act like a martyr!" Michael said forcefully.
"I'm not acting like a martyr! There are casualties in war; you of all people should know that!" I'd gone too far. Michael stood up just as Leigh came back into the room.
"Let's go, Leigh," Michael said, "Alice is tired and wants a rest."
Leigh didn't look convinced and I was pretty sure she had heard everything Michael and I had just discussed, but she didn't protest as Michael led her out of the room.
It took a while for Maria to calm down enough to join me on the bed again. I just kept staring at the chair where Michael had been sitting. I wished I could take back what I had said, but at the same time I was glad I had said it, Michael had to realize this wasn't going to be a blood free battle. Daman wasn't just going to hand himself over without a fight; he would take down as many people with him as he could. And I was willing to be one of those people if it meant that Leigh, Maria, and even Rebecca, Kinga, and Michael would be safe.
Michael didn't come back for a few days, Leigh continued to turn up but she didn't talk to me very much. I could sense that she was angry at me for making Michael mad so I just let her get over it herself. I didn't dare try to say anything else because I was afraid I might offend her too. Instead, I just let her continue to work her magic on Maria.
It was Leigh who broke the silence after nearly another week of her only communicating with Maria. It was just as Leigh was about to leave to go to bed one night.
"Why did you make Michael so mad?" Leigh asked fiercely, "He was trying to help you and you said awful things to him, I heard you!"
I gaped at Leigh, I was surprised that such a tender hearted person could suddenly become so aggressively outspoken and demanding of information.
“I—I was angry,” I stuttered out.
“So?” Leigh questioned, “He was angry too, but he didn’t say anything awful, he was just trying to come up with a way to keep you safe and you yelled at him for it. I don’t want you to die either!”
Leigh was softly crying now, it was the first time I’d seen her show an emotion opposite of ecstatic. Immediately I felt a thousand times worse than I had to begin with.
“I’m glad everyone is concerned about my safety, but we don’t have time to come up with another plane, Leigh,” I said softly, “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make this place better for you and Maria. I am sorry for what I said to Michael though; I didn’t mean to hurt him.”
Leigh grinned, which surprised me more than her outburst, “I told him you’d say that! Michael, I told you she’d say that!”
Apparently, Leigh had told Michael to wait outside the door to hear what I would say. I fought to hide my annoyance at being spied on and turned to see if Michael planned on actually coming into the room. To my further surprise, he did.
“Nice of you to show up,” I said coolly. I was automatically defensive and angry at him again.
Michael ran his hand through his hair again, “I didn’t feel like it was the best idea to come back if you were still angry. I didn’t ask Leigh to get an apology out of you by the way.”
Knowing that made me a little less annoyed with him; however, it made me more annoyed with myself. I’d assumed Michael had been staying away because of hurt feelings, not because he was afraid I was still mad at him. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling.
“Well, I am sorry for what I said. I was just angry and I said things I didn’t mean.” It wasn’t much of an apology, but it’s the most my pride would let me get away with.
“If I had listened to you in the first place when you said you were still okay with the original plan it wouldn’t have happened. We were both at fault, let’s just forget about it,” Michael said chivalrously. He offered his hand for me to shake; I only hesitated for a second before taking it.
I felt a similar sensation to when Michael and I had shared the memories of our deaths. I remember thinking ‘not again’, but not
hing happened. I stared at Michael’s large hand holding my much smaller one.
“Is something wrong?” Michael asked.
I withdrew my hand quickly, “No, nothing. I just thought— never mind.”
It was obvious Michael wanted to ask me what I was going to say, but Leigh interrupted. I felt so much gratitude for her in that moment it was hard to keep myself from visibly sighing with relief.
“I’m so glad you guys are friends again," she exclaimed, "It's so tiring being friends with two people who hate each other!"
"We didn't hate each other, Leigh," Michael said, "We were just angry, but it's all better now."
Leigh hugged both of us in turn, "I don't care how it happened, I'm just glad it did. Now you can still marry her!"
As if the atmosphere in my room wasn't awkward enough, Leigh had to bring up the marriage notion again.
I did my best to laugh it off, "I don't think that last bit is going to happen, Leigh. Michael has a rebellion to lead and I've got an ex-boyfriend to destroy. There's not much room for dating there."
Leigh rolled her eyes, "Now there isn't time. But when you beat Daman you'll have nothing but time."
"Leigh, I--" Michael began, but this time I cut him off.
"I guess we'll have to see," I said. I eyed Michael to let him know not to speak anymore, it would only encourage Leigh.
"Okay!" Leigh said brightly. She went back to teaching Maria how to say 'I want to go outside' and I went back to staring at anything but Michael.
Unfortunatley, I happened to catch his eye as I was looking from my nightstand table to the door. He held my gaze and mouthed, "We need to talk." Michael glanced at Leigh which made it clear that he meant we needed to talk alone.
"Leigh," I said.
"What?" Leigh asked.
"Michael and I are going to go visit the people in the infirmary, would you mind staring here to keep an eye on Maria?" I asked. I hoped that she wouldn't want to tag along. Thankfully, she responded that she would love to stay with Maria and touted that she had been a great babysitter before she died.
Chapter Thirty-one
Minutes later Michael and I were outside, and I don't mean underground outside, I mean we were actually outside. I hadn't even bothered to try to register where Michael was taking me. The way the doors worked still made my head hurt, so when we ended up outside without walls surrounding us I nearly squealed in delight.
"How did you get us here?" I asked, "I didn't think it was possible to really go outside, does Kinga know about this?"
Michael laughed and ran his hand through his hair again, "Do you think I'd be able to get up here if she did? I found the way here by accident and you are the only other person who knows about it. It's the only place I could think of where no one would interrupt us or overhear us."
Instantly I was struck with just how alone we were and I tensed myself, ready to run at any moment.
"We've solidified the plans to move forward with beating Daman," Michael said.
"What?" I asked. I almost fell over, I was no longer ready to flee, I was more likely to melt into a puddle. I hadn't been expecting the plans to be set so soon, truthfully, I hadn't been expecting them to be set at all. It had seemed like there was too much strife and conflict within Michael's group of rebels for any kind of agreement to be reached.
"We're going to be leaving soon, tomorrow night actually."
"Wow," I said. I actually sat down this time and looked up into the impossibly blue sky. There was no sun in sight, just cloudless blue stretching endlessly away from where we were. In fact, it almost seemed like the farther I looked down the horizon the more there was to see.
Behind us was the trapdoor we had come through after hiking up some steep stairs, a hundred yards behind that was a thick forest. In front of us and on either side were sprawling meadows and beyond those, tall jagged mountains, reminiscent of the Rocky Mountains I had once visited with my family.
Michael cleared his throat, "Now would be the time to leave if you're having any doubts about any of it."
"Shouldn't there be some kind of window in the ground or something? How else would we get sunlight in that courtyard where Maria likes to go?" I asked.
"There is no actual window, it's just like the ceiling in your room, just adapted a little to seem more real. Did you not hear what I just said? I said you could leave if you wanted to." Michael said. He sounded both annoyed and confused as to why I had ignored him.
"I heard what you said," I replied testily, "I'm still sitting for a reason, I'm not leaving. I'm not going to look like a coward and force you to come up with a new plan. We've already been over this so stop trying to get me to leave!"
"I'm sorry, I just--"
"You're just doing exactly what I told you not to. I already told you I'm not changing my mind, nothing you say or do is going to change that!"
I knew Michael wanted to press it further, despite everything he had done to develop his plan of action he was still trying to thwart himself to save me. In a way it was endearing and nice to have someone care for me again, especially since I had been so focused on caring for Maria and making sure Leigh had someone other than Michael to talk to.
However, it was also frustrating, we'd already argued about my participation in Daman's downfall and I wasn't in the mood for another row with Michael. He seemed to sense that and let it drop with a heavy sigh that appeared to take the strength right from his limbs. He fell to the ground next to me and vigorously rubbed his face with his hands, after which he ran both hands through his hair and squinted up at the sky.
"Even Kinga doesn't argue with me this much," Michael said with a short laugh, "I never thought you'd be like that. When you got here you looked like a tiny, innocent girl while you were unconscious and silent in your bed. I guess that was just a facade hiding the truly fiery woman inside."
I laughed at that and my face burned red, "The interesting thing is, I was never like this when I was alive. I guess death made me more—well, like I am now."
"I guess it did," Michael agreed, "But sometimes that's how you have to be, if you hadn't been that way would you have been able to get away from Daman?"
I hadn't thought about it that way. I closed my eyes and remembered the last moments in my hallway. Daman had been crushing me against a wall, threatening me and frightening me, it would have been easy to succumb and let him take me away right then, but I had fought him. I don't know why he let me go, maybe he saw someone that frightened him away, or maybe he just wanted me to lead him to his brother. Either way, I somehow made it away with only a black circle on my palm and poison in my lungs.
"I don't know if it was me, or if it was just luck," I admitted.
"Most likely a little of both," Michael said seriously, "Daman never was one to press when someone stood up to him. He's a classic bully; he likes to win easily and glamorously. It's possible he let you go so he could set himself up for a more fantastic finale."
"I just can't believe he deceived me the way he did. I believed he was some sort of hero, then I find out he's just a murderous, power-hungry—" Michael stopped me.
"I know," Michael said. He pressed his palms into his eyes and breathed heavily. Of course he knew, he had lived his whole life thinking his brother was one way, feeling sorry for Daman, protecting him, watching out for him. Even in the last seconds of his life, Michael's only thought was to save Daman; while Daman was only focused on taking Michael down with him.
I could see how conflicted Michael was feeling, he had come to terms with his death, believing that he had died by accident while trying to save his brother. But then I had to tell him that he'd actually been murdered by Daman, it was just another nail in the coffin housing the body of Michael's earthly, naive view of Daman.
"Do I need to pack anything?" I asked Michael.
Michael looked at me, it took him a moment to focus on my face again and another to process what I had just asked him and why.
I took too big of a step standing up and ended up uncomfortably close to Michael, I stepped away and turned to look at the trees. Maybe it was just my imagination but they seemed to be laughing at me.
Michael walked around me to open the trapdoor for us to descend back into the compound again.
"Michael?" I asked. Michael turned to look at me with one hand on the door handle.
"How did Daman contact you?" I questioned. I spit the words from my mouth, I said them so fast that I thought Michael had missed what I said.
To my surprise Michael smiled, "I guess you could call it twin telepathy. It was easy for him to communicate with me, all he had to do was wait until I touched Rebecca in the infirmary and he used the memories we shared to tell me what he wanted to say. He actually helped us learn how to beat him."
"Cleverness isn't the same as common sense." I said.
Michael laughed, "No, it's not." Michael opened the door and waved me through first. I didn't want to admit it, but despite my efforts Michael was becoming my friend.
Chapter Thirty-two
The next two days were full of preparations and lies. Leigh already knew about the plan, so I just twisted the truth a little bit by telling her Michael and I were going to scout where to start and that I needed her to watch Maria for a few days while I was gone. She was pretty upset about being left behind, but I assured her she would miss none of the action.
Leigh was still reluctant, but she agreed after I told her there would be no one but Kinga and the infirmary staff to care for Maria while I was gone.