by Kailin Gow
“I can’t handle anymore emotions or complications,” I say truthfully. “I wish I can be just like those girls you used to sleep with, Drew, those girls who hand you their number and just have sex with you and have no worries, no entanglements the next day. Someone my mother would say is, a “bad influence.”
“A bad girl,” Drew’s eyes are burning as he stares at my lips and my eyes. “That’s what you want to be?”
“No complications, no worries, just something I see and like…” I realize I’m throwing his words of yesteryear, the same words he used to defend his man-whore ways to Rachel and I months ago, in his face as I say that. “That’s all I want with anyone right now,” I close my eyes thinking out loud.
“Then you are about to get your birthday wish,” Drew says. “You want that kind of relationship with a guy? You want to experience what it’s like to be one of those girls I used to sleep with? Then, you’re going to get both with me,” he says. “I’m not allowing you to have that kind of relationship with anyone else. No one,” he says, “or I’ll rip his head off. I know you, Summer, and I know all about that kind of thing, casual sex and nothing else. It can be complicated and painful, if you get into it without the right expectations. I don’t want you hurt any further than you are right now, and I’m not even sure you should be doing it, but…”
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I say, “for once, I’m feeling I just need to be someone else other than me. I don’t want to keep feeling all these emotions. I want to shut it off, not feel anything except something good and pleasurable, something that will help me deal with everything while help me stay focus on what I need to do.” I take a hesitant breath and say, “I need to experience nothingness right now, to shut off my mind. Can you help me get there? Can you help me with this, Drew? Bring out this tougher devil-may-care part of me so I can stop caring about everything and everyone?”
Drew looks conflicted at first, but when I take his hands in mine, and look up into his eyes to read what he is thinking, he stands very still at first before he says, “Your birthday wish is my command. I’ll help you, Summer, I’ll help you in anyway I can, even if I have to lose myself to do it.” He grabs me by the waist then and easily carries me to my bed where he drops me on top. With a big grin on his face, as though he’s just won the lottery of life, he slides on top of me on the bed so that his arms are holding him up inches from me, and it shows off his biceps and muscles from head to waist in a way that has me staring. “Like what you see?” Drew asks.
“Drew!” I laugh. “I can’t say no.”
“Good because it’s mutual,” he says, his eyes taking me all in. “And the first rule of thumb in a relationship like the one the girls in the past and I used to have, is mutual respect and fulfilling expectations of both parties. It’s not just about one party getting all the satisfaction, but about both so that it’s mutual, and no one gets hurt. So, if you enjoy looking at my body, I want you to know, I highly enjoy looking at yours too. But it’s not polite to stare…”
“I’m not staring,” I protest.
“…without following it up with something,” Drew tease. “Like this.” His lips are on my stomach and he’s kissing every inch of me there, moving up to the curve of my breast. “Sweetness,” he breathes. “You are as perfect as I pictured you to be. And…you taste so good, all I want for dinner, is you.”
His hand shoots out to run his fingers along the inside of my thighs, while his mouth continues the onslaught of my breasts. With so much sensation going on, I can’t think. I don’t want to think. I can only feel my body responding to his, and we’re entangling ourselves in each other, with each other. “Summer,” Drew groans. “This…this is…” he is shaking and his face is hidden from mine. “I’ve waited so long to feel your skin like this against mine, to kiss you like this, it’s so much more than I could have ever imagined.”
“Better than anything from the Drew Effect?” I tease.
“Much better,” Drew says. “That’s just physical stuff, fun stuff, but this…I’ve cared for you for so long…this is mind-blowing.”
“But we haven’t done ‘it’ yet,” I say. “Not the actual…”
Drew laughs. “That’s where you’re different from anyone else for me,” Drew says. “I’m still waiting for that, for when you decide to give all of you to me, not just the physical.”
“So this is just the physical right now?” I ask.
“The start,” he says. “You want to experience the bad boy in me, well, this is just the start, and before you know it, I’d have you wrap around me so hard, you won’t be able to tear yourself away from me.”
“Cocky huh?” I say.
“You bet,” He kisses me hungrily, his mouth devouring mine and make his way to kiss and lick my breasts again in slow tantalizing flicks with his tongue.
I’m writhing underneath him and arching my back wanting to offer more to him when I hear the front door open and voices in the hallway.
“Summer? Drew?” a familiar voice calls out. “Are you here?”
Nat. He has made it back here, and he is early.
“Maybe they left for dinner already,” says a female voice I’d recognize anywhere. Rachel. “I would if I have to wait until what time you told them you’d be here? 10? I’d be starving, too.”
Drew and I looked at each other before jumping up and getting dressed. Hearing Nat’s voice and even Rachel’s brings me back to reality, and I’m suddenly feeling ashamed of being naked with Drew, having gone so far with him already. What would Nat think? Will he think I’m a slut because of what happened between Drew and I or would he get jealous? If I caught Nat doing what I just did with Drew with another girl, I’d be jealous. But then again, that’s just because it’s Nat, and I guess in my mind, Nat will always be mine, even though I have moved on to other guys… since he has pretty much rejected me over and over again.
And Rachel. What must she think? She would kill Drew for even touching me, thinking he’s corrupting me with his bad boy ways. Well, she’ll be right about that, although I’m the one asking Drew to do the corrupting.
I pull on another dress over my head, one that is a light pink lace sheath, and fix my hair.
Drew is already completely dressed, obviously used to speed dressing after having one of his one-night stands with the girls from his past. He’s staring at me, his eyes shining bright. “That dress looks amazing on you, Sum,” he says.
He moves to touch me, to try to hold me in his arms. “Summer…Nat and Rachel’s here.”
“I know. We can’t let them know what just happened between us,” I say. “Rachel’ll be angry, and Nat…I don’t know how he’ll feel, but…oh God. I’m sorry, what did I just do?”
Drew held me in his arms and started stroking my back. “It’s okay, Summer. I moved too quickly with the physical part. That’s what I know what to do, that’s how I know how to relate to girls.”
“But I wanted all that, Drew. I want…” my voice trails off as the door to my room open, and Rachel comes in carrying a large duffle bag. She looks just as surprise to see us, as we are in seeing her. But why should either of us be surprised? Rachel and I have always shared this room at the Pad. Why should it be any different?
Chapter 9
Summer
Rachel sees me and lets out a squeal. “Summer!” She runs over to me and pushes Drew out of the way to hug me. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you. Happy Birthday!” She squeezes me tightly before stepping back to look at me.
“I didn’t think it’s possible for you to look prettier than last summer, but here you are, absolutely gorgeous.”
“Just more volleyball and being too busy with school and the academy to eat,” I say. “I can say the same about you, though.” Rachel has her hair jet black like Drew’s, but instead of having purple streaks in her hair, they’re blue now, and it highlights her blue eyes. She’s lost weight too, and her clothes are tighter, showing off her toned body. “Whoa,
where did you get that body?”
Rachel laughs and glances over at Drew. “Blame it on Drew. And you. Since coming home to San Francisco, he gets up early in the morning, and drags me out of bed to go jogging. I think he misses those early morning jogs with you, so he had to find someone to jog with, and well…I’d do anything to get out of the house for a while since Mom is still acting moody. Dad’s better than before, but that doesn’t say that he’ll continue with the divorce at any time.”
Rachel pokes a finger into Drew’s chest. “Why didn’t you tell me you were getting a scholarship to USC, and moving out early?” She looks hurt. “That’s pretty big news, Drew. I can’t believe you’d keep that news from your own twin.”
“It’s rather sudden news, Rach,” Drew says. “I just found out a few days ago, and I had to make a quick decision right away. I wasn’t even sure of it until yesterday.”
“Well, that’ll give you an excuse to move out of the house and to Malibu. I assume you’re going to stay here while you commute to USC?”
“Working out the arrangement with Summer right now,” Drew says, looking at me. “Staying here would be the ideal situation for me.”
Rachel nods looking from Drew to me and then back to Drew again. “I bet it would be,” she says.
“Hey,” Nat appears at the doorway. For someone who has barely slept and has flown twice back and forth between San Francisco and LA in one day, he looks remarkable. He still looks like a rock star with his freshly washed brown with copper highlights hair falling over his green eyes. He’s dressed in a black cashmere sweater that hugs his muscular but lean frame, and dark jeans that ends right at the top of a pair of black leather boots. He’s hot in a sophisticated and gentlemanly way, looking every inch like the prodigal son of a billionaire internet mogul.
“Nat,” Rachel says. “Looks like Summer and Drew are dressed up to go out. Did you guys eat already? I would have at this time of night…”
“Been waiting for Nat to show,” I say. “And there you are being very sneaky.”
“What?” Nat asks. “Why am I sneaky?”
“Because you brought Rachel over. Best birthday present ever.”
“So all of us can be here for your birthday and for the weekend,” Nat says.
“Looks like we are all here, but that’s nothing compare to my gift to you, Summer,” Rachel says.
“Oh, you have me curious now,” I laugh. “What is it?”
Rachel grins as she looks around her. “I get to teach one of your classes.”
Chapter 10
Summer
I redeem Rachel’s birthday gift to me by having her teach a class at the Academy the Monday after my birthday weekend with the Donovans. With everyone back together at the Pad, we had a great time catching up with the last several months while enjoying our weekends barbequing on the beach or playing beach volleyball, jogging, or surfing.
After the weekend, though, Drew and Nat had to fly back home to work, while Rachel remained here for the rest of Winter Break. That was when I found out about her secret desire to follow in Aunt Sookie’s footsteps. She wanted to become an actress, so I said, “Let’s see how you are acting in front of a crowd, why don’t you teach one of my classes today?” She’s nervous at first because it’s her first time teaching, and although she’s decided she loves acting and wants to pursue it as a career, she’s unsure of herself.
“Don’t worry Rach,” I say, driving us to the Academy. “If there’s anything you know you have to get used to as an actor, it’s being in front of people. This is a safe, secure place where it’s all right to be yourself. Aunt Sookie has made the Academy a place where people can feel safe, secure and welcomed enough to bring themselves out. That’s what we use as actors. Our experiences, our memories, and our influences to pull out the emotions we need to get into character. I think you’ll be great at this, Rach. Plus, this class you’re teaching is probably going to be one of the easiest set of audience you’ll ever get – the Elementary Set – ages five to seven.”
Rachel’s eyes bug out for a second before she says, “So what will I be teaching?”
“How about something you do a lot of in real life,” I smirk. “Improv. Get them to pretend to be someone or something else for the hour. Stretch their imagination, ask them to think about all the things they would have to know, in order to become that thing. A hippo, for example, or a ballerina. What do they eat? Where do they live? Who do they live with? You know, background stuff.”
Rachel’s mouth opens into a big O. “You have to know all those things when you get into character? Five to seven year-olds?”
“Yup,” I say. “If you want to build out a well-rounded character. There’s more to looks, you know,” I joke.
“I should say the same about you, Summer. You’re surrounded by hotness all the time, and I don’t mean my brothers.”
“Oh, you mean Astor,” I say. “Well, not all the time. That was the problem.”
“Did you and he…” Rachel asks.
I blush. Rachel is my best friend since childhood, besides Drew and Nat, but I don’t want to be one of those girls who tell everyone everything. “Rachel, um, I’d like to keep that between Astor and me. I’m sorry, but Astor already has so many people wanting stuff from him, that even that little bit of info, if it leaks out, would cause him and me some embarrassment whether we did or not.”
Rachel licks her lips. “Oh, sorry, Summer, I don’t mean to pry. Just curious between girlfriends, that’s all.”
“I trust you Rach, it’s just that I don’t want to talk about that. You know Astor and I broke up, don’t you?” I take a breath. “I mean, I wasn’t even sure we were going with each other exclusively, but the schedule, the far away distance, the jealousy of having to see him kiss and get passionate with his co-star, the paparazzi, the fans…it’s too much for me right now. Maybe someday, when I’m back on my feet, but right now, I don’t need all that in my life.”
Rachel looks at me then with a sympathetic face. “Oh, Summer. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you actually broke up broke up with him. He’s so nice, and he clearly loves you. But like you said, if it comes with all that, then I can’t blame you. You have to live your life for you, Summer. Not for anyone else. Including me, who would be totally trying to get your number for Astor and seeing if…Ow! That hurt!”
“Rachel…not helping,” I say.
“Sorry, not that I have a chance with him, especially after you. But tell you what? Let’s get the teaching thing I have to do, over, and afterwards, let’s go out for some ice cream or shopping…my favorite pick me up. Maybe a manicure, and we can get all those new crazy colors, or maybe we can even put in some highlights in your hair.”
“Purple?”
“Pink.”
“Um, no. Maybe when I don’t have to be meeting parents and trying to get a scholarship to USC.”
“Okay,” Rachel says. “But live a little, Summer. I know you do, and you did when Aunt Sookie was alive. But just because she’s not, doesn’t mean you have to die, too.”
“Rachel!” I say. I know what she means, and I know it’s well-meaning, but right now her words sound a bit harsh to me. “I am living. Just not the way I was before with Aunt Sookie. Before I was a kid. Now, I have responsibilities, I have bills to pay, a school to run, trying to get a scholarship or find my way to pay for college, and…”
“Okay,” Rachel says. “Enough stressing, let’s get working. Then afterwards, let’s go have some girl time fun.”
“Girl time fun?” I ask, raising my eyebrows. “You’ve been hanging with the guys too long.”
“Can’t get rid of them, Summer. You know, I’m related to them and all.”
I shove Rachel then. “And you’re complaining?”
“Summer, if I didn’t grow up with them and didn’t know all their flaws and imperfections…if I didn’t look like the female version of one of them…I might find them, um, hot, but…”
“It’s a g
ood thing you don’t, Rach, or that will be kinda perverse. Although I grew up with them and know all their flaws and imperfections, yet I find them, um, very hot.”
“Eww, Summer, okay, that’s enough girl talk for now,” Rachel scrunches her face. With her long straight black hair, blue streaks, bangs, porcelain oval face, big blue eyes, little nose, and full lips, she looks like an anime doll. Wearing a short black and blue plaid skirt, black tights, and black combat boots, completing that look, I half expect her to stick out her tongue.
“You look adorable, BTW,” I say. “The kids will love you.”
“Cause I dress like one of them?” Rachel asks.
“Because you’re you. You’re fun, upbeat, cute with a little bit of crazy thrown in.”
Rachel laughs. “That’s me!” She checks her face in the mirror and say. “Five to seven year olds wouldn’t mind someone who has a mark on her neck, would they?”
I look over, and I can see a small purple and blue bruise on her neck. “A hickey? You should’ve put makeup on it to tone it down.”
“I didn’t think I would have one. I mean I barely felt it last night when Ryan and I were coming together. It was so intense that when he bit me, all I can feel was me exploding.”
“Um, Rachel, too much information,” I say. “But then again, I guess congratulations are in order that you and Ryan can get that far in your relationship and that you’re so happy together.” I think about Astor, and I’m a little bit sad about how things ended between us. But then I think about Nat and Drew…how I love each of them in their own way, and how I desire both of them in a mind-blowingly passionate way, too. Either one of them would be great with in bed…but am I ready to take that step and risk hurting one of them?
“We’re here!” Rachel says as we parked my SUV, another inheritance I received from Aunt Sookie. “So what should I say about this hickey? Should I put makeup on it, like you said?”
“Maybe, just in case you get any questions from the parents. And if you get any questions from the kids, just say…”
