Ray of Hope

by Vanessa Davis Griggs

  “Yeah, okay, Dollar. But I hope you know I’m not buying any of what you call yourself selling,” Sahara said.

  Dollar laughed. “Oh, now, I know you got your own stallions. So don’t be trying to front on me, now. I’m not the only one folks are bumping their gums about. Oh, yeah, I hear Miss Sahara is putting it down and taking no prisoners. At least, that’s what my homies tell me. But you don’t see me tripping or hating on you, now, do you? That’s ‘cause I know you loves you some Dollar. And you know that I’m seriously missing you right now. Seriously. That’s why I’ve been trying to get in touch with you for almost a week now. I miss you. You feel me? I want to see you. But given your present situation, how do you and I make that happen?”

  “I don’t know. My grandmother is proving to be a tad bit trickier than I thought. She wants to talk, and she seems to have ears like a bat and eyes like an eagle. Truthfully, I was faring better with my mother. I can’t shake Ma Ray. But I’ll figure something out.”

  “I thought old people were supposed to go to bed with the chickens and sleep like rocks,” Dollar said. “Besides, you’re old enough to go out. You shouldn’t be all cooped up in some backward country town. Tell your grandmother this is the twenty-first century and she needs to get with the program. Why don’t you tell her you’re going to spend the night with a girlfriend or something the way you used to do with your mother? Then you and I can have a time like I’m sure you haven’t had in a long time. You feeling me?”

  “Sahara! Crystal! I need you down here to come help me!” Ma Ray yelled.

  “Look, Ma Ray is calling me. I have to go. I wonder what fun she has on tap for us today. She woke me up for breakfast, gospel playing softly in the background. I told her I wasn’t feeling well, but did she care? No. Anyway, I’ll call you later, and we’ll see what we can do to get together.” Sahara hung up the phone and looked toward the ceiling.

  It was close to noon and hot both inside the house and out. Sahara found Crystal and Ma Ray sitting outside on the porch.

  Unlike some still in her community, Ma Ray had central air-conditioning. But for some reason Sahara didn’t understand, Ma Ray either didn’t like turning it on or, if she turned it on, kept it on eighty degrees. Cooler than outside for sure, but not cool enough to make much of a difference to Sahara. On the other end of the spectrum, Sahara’s mother kept their air conditioner set on seventy, causing it to be chilly in their house. Sometimes, they had to wear a jacket in the summertime just to keep warm.

  Ma Ray said she liked God’s natural air better and preferred that to being shut up in some stuffy house with artificial air blowing everywhere. When the air was off, Ma Ray would open up the doors and windows in the house, keeping the unwanted things out (like flying bugs and creeping critters) with screened windows and doors.

  Sahara saw the truck full of produce as soon as she stepped out on the porch. She’d grown up with Ma Ray and knew what a bushel was. When she was little, she loved seeing this sight. Now that she was seventeen, and definitely not thrilled about being there, she was anything but excited.

  Her attention quickly moved from the bushels to the two guys at the truck. One guy was on the bed of the truck handing down the bushels to a mirror image of himself standing on the ground. Once the truck was completely unloaded, they began to bring one bushel at a time to the porch.

  “Good afternoon,” both guys said in harmony to Ma Ray, Crystal, and Sahara, stepping up on the porch, each carrying a twenty-five-pound bushel of purple hull peas.

  “Afternoon, Andre and Aaron,” Ma Ray said with a nod.

  “Hi.” Crystal sang the word as she stood straighter, curving her back just a tad.

  “Hi,” Sahara mumbled.

  Ma Ray looked at her granddaughters, then back to the twins. “One of those bushels of peas is Tootsie’s.”

  “Yes, ma’am. She told us to leave it here. She says she’ll be here shortly,” Andre Woods (the elder twin by twenty minutes) said. “Where would you like for us to put them?”

  “Those look really heavy,” Crystal said. She smiled at the twin named Aaron.

  “Oh, we’re fine. I lift way more than this at the gym,” Aaron said as he smiled back at Crystal.

  “Oh,” Crystal said, blushing.

  “Tell you what. Why don’t you leave the purple hull peas on the porch? That way we can shell them out here. The other things you can take in the house and put in my back room for me. I’ll get to them another time.”

  “Will do, Ma Ray,” Andre said.

  He and Aaron set the peas on the porch near the wooden, slightly slanted chairs. They went back two trips and got the bushels of peaches, corn, cucumbers, and tomatoes.

  “Sahara, will you give them a hand for me?” Ma Ray said.

  “I’ll help them,” Crystal said, practically bouncing up and down.

  “I asked Sahara to do it,” Ma Ray said with a small smile as she tilted her head.

  Sahara shuffled her feet as she walked toward the screen door. She held it open for them as they brought the bushels of corn and tomatoes inside. When the twins cleared the doorway, Sahara stepped in slowly and headed toward the back room where her grandmother kept her stashes of homemade canned goods, to open that door for them.

  “Thanks,” Andre said when he’d cleared the opened back room door. “By the way, in case you didn’t pick it up from your grandmother, I’m Andre.”

  “And I’m Aaron.”

  “Yeah, okay,” Sahara said, clearly letting them know she really didn’t care.

  “Your name is Sahara?” Andre asked as he set the bushel of corn down.

  Sahara folded her arms and released a loud sigh. “Yes.”

  “Okay,” Aaron said with a slight snicker. “I’m going to get my other bushel.”

  Andre stood back and smiled at Sahara. “So what’s your story?”

  She blew out another loud sigh. “What?”

  “Why are you so upset? I mean, I haven’t been here long enough to do anything to make you mad, so I don’t think it’s me.”

  “Don’t you have another something to pick up and bring back here?” She turned to walk out.

  “Sahara is a pretty name,” he said.

  “Yeah, well. You can tell my mother since she was the one who named me and I didn’t have one thing to do with it.” She walked to the front as though she was in a hurry. She held open the screen door as Aaron came in with the bushel of cucumbers.

  Andre stepped out and got the bushel of peaches.

  “Those peaches look good,” Ma Ray said. “I sure hope they’re as sweet as they appear to be.”

  “Oh, they are,” Andre said. “Aaron and I already tested them out.” He walked past Sahara. “There’s nothing Grandma Tootsie hates more than a peach that looks good on the outside but ends up with a sour bite to it on the inside.”

  Sahara squinted her eyes at him. She let the screen door go before he cleared it all the way. It hit him, but not as hard as she would have liked. She was well aware when someone was trying to throw off at her. More than aware.

  Chapter 7

  And it was told the king of Jericho, saying, Behold, there came men in hither tonight of the children of Israel to search out the country.

  —Joshua 2:2

  Tootsie arrived shortly after Andre and Aaron came from taking the last bushel in the back room for Ma Ray. Ma Ray went inside and got the glass pitcher of homemade lemonade and some tall glasses. She set them on the little, round white table she kept out there just for these purposes. Ma Ray went back and returned shortly with six large, deep metal pans. Andre was handing his grandmother one of the pans he’d taken out of the backseat of her car.

  “I got my own pans,” Tootsie said to Ma Ray, holding up hers. “No need in me borrowing your pans when I knew we were doing this and I have plenty of my own.”

  “That’s fine. But you know I don’t mind when I have something you need,” Ma Ray said, putting the extra pans to the side. “Unlike some, yo
u return what you borrow.”

  “Can I go back in the house now?” Sahara asked.

  “In the house?” Tootsie said. “Oh, honey chile, we’re about to do some major damage out here with these purple hull peas.”

  “I’m not shelling peas,” Sahara said, putting her hand on her hip.

  “Me either,” Crystal said.

  “Oh, is that right?” Ma Ray said.

  “Well, if my grandsons, who are young men I might add, can shell peas, I don’t see why you two young ladies can’t,” Tootsie said as she looked at both girls.

  “I didn’t say I couldn’t, I said I wasn’t. I don’t want to,” Sahara said.

  “Well, it’s plenty of things as adults that we do that we don’t want to,” Ma Ray said. “So pull up a chair if you’d like or grab a spot on the steps there if you prefer.” She handed a pan to Sahara, then one to Crystal. Crystal took her pan with more enthusiasm than Sahara.

  Tootsie adjusted the pillow underneath her better as she eyed the two girls. Ma Ray knew Tootsie was biting her tongue to keep from saying what she was really thinking. There was no way they would have ever allowed their own children to talk back to them like that. No way. But Ma Ray had decided to handle things differently.

  Crystal sat on the top step next to Aaron. Ma Ray smiled as she saw how much fun the two of them were having shelling their portion of peas. Sahara opted to sit on the swing with her stash of unshelled peas. Ma Ray noted how Sahara was purposely shelling slowly—a tried-and-true method that would normally cause her to be dismissed.

  “Do you need me to show you how to shell peas again?” Ma Ray said.

  “No, ma’am,” Sahara said, emphasizing each word.

  Tootsie glanced over at Andre, who sat in a chair near the swing. “Andre, you’re going through your bunch like Speedy Gonzales.”

  “Just want to get through,” Andre said. “I have some other things I’d like to do today.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” Ma Ray said. “You young men have been so wonderful already. Getting up early and going to pick up all these things for me and Tootsie. And now we have you here shelling peas.”

  “Oh, it’s okay,” Aaron said, stealing a glance at Crystal and smiling. “I used to love shelling peas when I was a little boy.”

  “Yeah, well, just don’t be shooting nobody with a zip of peas the way you used to do,” Tootsie said. “That boy used to take his finger and go zip.” Tootsie demonstrated the act using her thumb as she stripped peas with one swift action into her pan. She laughed. “Only instead of his peas going into the bowl, he would aim it at his twin brother.”

  “Yeah, and you would make me pick up every one of them and go wash them off,” Aaron said. “Even though you were going to just wash them later, anyway.”

  “Absolutely,” Tootsie said. “We weren’t wasting no food or effort. Not then, not now.” She looked at Andre again. “Andre, are you all right?”

  Andre looked up. “Yes, ma’am. I’m fine.”

  Sahara took out her cell phone and looked at it.

  “You can get a signal out here?” Andre asked her.

  “No,” Sahara said, then snapped her phone shut and put it back in her pocket.

  “The church is having something for the young folks in a couple of weeks,” Tootsie said. “It sounds like it’s going to be an interesting event. Andre and Aaron are signed up to go. You two girls are certainly welcome to sign up as well.”

  “Something for the young people?” Crystal said. “What is it?”

  “A weekend youth conference with what sounds like some great speakers and all sorts of things we young folks care about,” Aaron said. “On Saturday, the last day of the conference, there’s going to be something called a purity ceremony with a live band and a reception following it.”

  Crystal smiled as she zipped peas into her pan. “That does sound like fun.”

  “Andre is working with the committee,” Tootsie said. “He can get you two signed up—”

  “We likely won’t be here in a couple of weeks,” Sahara said, cutting her off.

  “Is that right?” Tootsie said.

  “Andre, if you don’t mind, I’d like for you to get Sahara and Crystal signed up for me,” Ma Ray said.

  Sahara looked at Ma Ray. “But, Ma Ray, I’m telling you: we’ll likely be back home by then. Besides, it sounds like something for children.”

  Ma Ray shrugged. “Well, for now, we’ll get you signed up. If you happen to be gone, you can always come back for it.”

  “If she doesn’t want to go, I wouldn’t worry about it,” Andre said. “A thing like this really works better when people want to do it.”

  “There’s plenty that I want to do,” Sahara said, shooting Andre a hard look.

  “Yeah, well—” Andre said.

  “Andre, just get my granddaughters signed up for me,” Ma Ray said. “Let me know my total cost, and I’ll take care of things from there.”

  Sahara let out an audible sigh as she readjusted her body. Ma Ray tried to keep from smiling as, out of the corner of her eye, she watched Sahara begin to shell that much faster.

  Chapter 8

  And the king of Jericho sent unto Rahab, saying, Bring forth the men that are come to thee, which are entered into thine house: for they be come to search out all the country.

  —Joshua 2:3

  Tootsie and her grandsons left after about two hours of shelling peas. Ma Ray had given the twin brothers each a ten-dollar tip for bringing her produce in the house. Sahara had gone in the house after shelling only a handful of peas and hadn’t returned—leaving her pan on the swing. Ma Ray picked up the mostly empty pan and poured those few shelled peas into Crystal’s almost full pan.

  “You did good,” Ma Ray said to Crystal.

  “Thank you,” Crystal said with a huge grin and a slight curtsy. “That was fun!”

  “Oh, really now.” Ma Ray opened the screen door and held it open for Crystal to walk through. “Wonder why you had so much fun doing something you used to act like you hated doing when you were younger? I don’t know. You think maybe you were trying to impress somebody or something?”

  They walked to the kitchen. Crystal set her pan on the kitchen counter next to the sink before turning around and smiling at Ma Ray. “Aaron is nice. Really nice.”

  “Yes, he seems to be a fine young man. I must admit: you don’t find too many young folks these days willing to sit with us old folks and help us do something like shell peas. And young men at that.” She shook her head. “Nope. Not these days.”

  Crystal took Ma Ray’s pan and set it down next to hers. “I thought that was something myself. None of the guys I know would have ever done anything like that,” Crystal said. “Aaron is not only strong, but he sure was fast at zipping those peas out of their hulls. So, are they staying with their grandmother for the summer, too?”

  “No. They’re living with her now.” Ma Ray closed the drainer in the sink and dumped a pan of peas in it. She turned the faucet on full force, pelting the peas with water before the sink began to fill up.

  “Did something happen with their parents?”

  “No one knows who their daddy is, and their mother is totally strung out on drugs now. It’s a sad situation, sad. It’s been tough on all of them. I keep them in my prayers.”

  “I have a friend at school whose mother is strung out like that. She’s going through the same thing, only she’s in a foster home,” Crystal said.

  “It’s definitely hard on children. I just wish parents would think about the children when they’re making decisions to do drugs. But it does help when there’s family who can step up. Not everybody has family who will step in.” Ma Ray turned off the water. “So tell me.” She looked Crystal squarely in her eyes. “What’s going on with you?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Why have you been acting like you have?” Ma Ray dried her hands on a towel and sat down at the kitchen table. She patted the place next to her. Crysta
l obeyed her unspoken command and sat down in the seat next to her. “Talk to me.”

  Crystal looked down at her hands and began to rub her one thumb with the other. “What is there to talk about?”

  “For starters, why you’re giving your mother and Edmond such a hard time when all they’re trying to do is to tell you right?” Ma Ray touched Crystal’s hands to stop her from fidgeting.

  Crystal looked up at Ma Ray and shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m just acting like teenagers are supposed to act.”

  “According to whom?”

  “According to everybody who acts like they know what we’re going through. When we don’t want to talk, they label us as moody. When we disagree with an adult, we’re being rebellious. But Ma Ray, sometimes we’re just dealing with stuff we don’t want to talk about.”

  “I understand.”

  “That’s what everybody says. They say they understand, but if they really did, why do they do things that make stuff worse?”

  “I’m listening.” Ma Ray smiled.

  Crystal looked at her and twisted her mouth.

  “What?” Ma Ray asked.

  “I don’t want to hurt your feelings, Ma Ray. But I don’t think you’ll really get what I’m saying. You’re kind of… old. You know? Now, there’s nothing wrong with that. And then, you’re a churchgoing woman. You wouldn’t really have a clue what I’m talking about.”

  Ma Ray smiled a little. “I feel you. Why don’t you try me?”

  Crystal started laughing. “What do you know about feeling somebody?”

  “I’m hipped…. I’m down. So try me.”

  Crystal laughed harder. “That’s what Mama says, but when I’ve tried her, she doesn’t get it. She doesn’t have a clue.”

  Ma Ray squeezed Crystal’s hand. “Seriously, though, sometimes just talking about it can help. Let’s say that I really don’t get it. At least having a sounding board may help you.”

  “A sounding board? See, that’s what I mean. You and Mama say stuff that nobody understands. What’s a sounding board?”

  “It’s when you say something, it hits a solid mass, and it bounces back to you. That way you get to hear it in a different way. I’ve found that when I can say something out loud, it takes on a different shape than when it’s rattling around inside my head. That’s why the devil has such a field day with folks. He tries to get us to keep things inside so we don’t really get to see it as it is. What I’ve learned is that, when you get it out, it’s not as big or as bad as it seems when you keep it bottled in.” Ma Ray shrugged. “Hey, what do you have to lose? Why not give it a shot?”