Ray of Hope

by Vanessa Davis Griggs

  “Also, I brought your package for the youth conference,” Andre said as he walked in with the big box of prepared food. “I was going to bring it over today since the deadline to turn things in is Wednesday.”

  “I’m sure that’s heavy. You can take it on back to the kitchen,” Ma Ray said.

  “That’s nothing for that boy,” Tootsie said, handing Ma Ray the large envelope with the youth conference information inside. “We’ll need to heat up everything, since I fixed it all last night. I was about to put things in and on the stove when it dawned on me that it would be fun just to come here and make it a day.”

  “Well, the Lord is good, because I sure didn’t cook last night like I normally would,” Ma Ray said, taking the envelope. “I was just about to make a fresh salad and fix some other stuff. I did cook a pot of purple hull peas last night, but that was only because I blanched and put up those purple hull peas we shelled yesterday.”

  “The chicken needs frying,” Tootsie said. “I cut it up, seasoned it, and let it marinate overnight like I generally do. I don’t care much for reheated fried chicken. I like mine dripping hot, fresh out of the grease. It’s just not the same when it’s reheated. I thought about baking it, but you know kids prefer their food fried to baked.”

  “Tell me about it,” Ma Ray said. “Well, you know I have plenty of grease. So, we’ll just heat the grease up and get things to popping. I sure do appreciate you for thinking about us like this. You’re a true friend, Tootsie. A true friend to the end. You really are.”

  “Just giving back to one who has given so much … to so many. You know you’ve been there for me. Don’t even get me started.”

  “Excuse me, Ma Ray,” Aaron said, “but is Crystal around?”

  Ma Ray smiled. “Of course. They’re both upstairs changing out of their church clothes. She and Sahara will be down shortly. If you like, you can holler upstairs to let her know you’re down here. Then you and Andre are welcome to go in the den and watch television while me and your grandmother finish up Sunday’s dinner.”

  “It won’t be long until we eat,” Tootsie said. “Isn’t there some game or something y’all want to watch on TV?”

  “Yes, ma’am. I’m sure there’s something on television. Although the pickings get slim during the summertime,” Aaron said.

  Ma Ray pointed. “The den’s in there. I’ll let Crystal know you’re here.”

  In a few minutes, Andre came out of the kitchen. “Where’s Aaron?”

  “In the den, finding something to watch on TV,” Tootsie said, pointing toward the den.

  “First, how much do I owe for the youth conference?” Ma Ray asked Andre.

  “It’s two hundred and twenty dollars. It’s actually a hundred and twenty dollars each, but they give a discount when multiple people in the same family sign up.”

  “I told them that price is a bit steep for some folks,” Tootsie said. “But I believe it’s worth it. Some folks spend that amount to lay away a pair of Jordan shoes.”

  “I’ll give you a check before you leave,” Ma Ray said. Andre headed to the den.

  Ma Ray and Tootsie went to the kitchen to finish up. Ma Ray turned on the deep fryer and filled it with shortening. Tootsie pulled out a nice pot of turnip greens, candied yams, creamed corn, and a huge pan of her legendary ooey gooey macaroni and cheese from the box Andre had placed on the counter.

  “How was church service today?” Tootsie asked Ma Ray as she set the pots on the stove and turned on the corresponding eyes.

  “It was okay. You know my pastor is from the old school. Not like your little young pastor. We get the pretty predictable sermons, but our pastor is consistent.” Ma Ray watched the shortening melt.

  “Okay, Ray.” Tootsie stepped up to her. “What’s on your mind?”

  “What makes you think something is on my mind?”

  “Because you’re not your usual self. Your body’s here, but your mind is working someplace else. Is it your granddaughters?”

  “No. Not really. Well, I’m not sure,” Ma Ray said. Ma Ray was trying to decide whether she wanted to share any of her present thoughts or situation at this juncture.

  “Come on, Ray. Since when have you and I kept anything back from the other when we were truly troubled? I spill my guts to you all the time. So, tell me what’s tumbling around inside of your head right now.”

  “There are a few things in my house that have all of a sudden grown legs and walked off. They’ve gone missing,” Ma Ray said.

  “Missing? Like what?”

  “Like my diamond watch and diamond necklace. And when I went to church, I found all but ten of what should have been eighty dollars gone from my purse. And that’s just what I’ve been able to figure out. The Lord only knows what else is missing.”

  “So, what are you thinking?”

  “I don’t know. And truthfully, I don’t think I really want to think right now, because I don’t like where my thoughts may be leading me.”

  “You think it’s one of your grands?”

  “I don’t want to think that. Those are my babies. Sure, they’re my daughter’s children, but they’re mine, you know.”

  “I know. I felt the same way when it came to my own daughter. I tried to turn a blind eye to what was going on around me. And my child was literally stealing me blind trying to finance her drug habit. First you think you just may have misplaced it or been mistaken about how much you had. Then you think maybe you hid it and just forgot where you hid it. That if you keep looking and thinking hard enough, you’ll eventually find it. But then, you run out of excuses and you have to face some hard truths. Truths that will have family turning on you like you were the one who did the wrong.”

  Ma Ray took the bowl of floured, ready-to-fry chicken pieces and placed them into the rolling, hot oil. The sound of frying immediately began to overtake the room.

  “So do I accuse them without having real proof and see if the one responsible will step forward and confess? And what if it wasn’t one of them? I could ruin any chance of helping them by alienating them forever, especially if neither of them is responsible.”

  “Let’s see. Was there anyone else who could have done it during the time frame you’re looking at?” Tootsie asked.

  “The missing money had to have happened Saturday after the noon hour, since it was there, for sure, Saturday when I gave Andre and Aaron ten dollars each for bringing my fruits and vegetables in the house.”

  “Well, I know me and my grandsons were here during that time. But I believe the only time they went inside of your house was to take in your vegetables and stuff.”

  “And Sahara walked them back there and they came straight back out and stayed out here the rest of the time they were here,” Ma Ray said. “Tootsie, I sincerely hope you’re not thinking that I’m trying to accuse your grandsons.”

  “In this day and time, none of us can be excused. Everybody is a suspect, including me. I had a friend a few years back who would call me to take her to the store. Her physical mobility was limited. This one time I got out of the car to help her take in her bags. I left her in the car so she could take her time getting out. When I got back in my car, I noticed coins all over the car floor, but I didn’t think much about it. I’d left my purse when I’d gotten out. Would you believe when I got home I learned she’d stolen my cash right out of my purse? Like I wouldn’t figure out it was her.”

  “You’re kidding,” Ma Ray said, chuckling a little.

  “No, I’m not kidding. I never took her anywhere else ever again. And you can believe that. Christian or no, that was the last time I gave her a ride anywhere.”

  “Well, I need to pray about what to do next,” Ma Ray said. “The Lord knows I want to help these children. I know it couldn’t have been that boy that broke in here early Saturday morning, because he didn’t get any farther than the steps. I just don’t know.”

  “Hi, Ms. Tootsie,” Crystal said as she walked quickly into the kitchen.


  “Hi, Crystal.”

  “Ma Ray, may I get us all something to drink?” Crystal asked.

  “Sure. And because Ms. Tootsie was so generous in thinking of us, dinner will be ready shortly.”

  “Oh, I’m not really all that hungry. We don’t ever eat at home on Sundays until around five,” Crystal said as she opened the refrigerator door.

  “Five?” Tootsie said. “O’clock? On a Sunday?”

  “Yes, ma’am. Mama generally doesn’t cook until we get home from church. And our church service can last until almost one-thirty on Sundays. Mama likes to go out to eat, but that doesn’t always work so well when you have six mouths to feed. So, by the time she’s finished cooking, it’s about five o’clock.”

  “Well, do you and your sister help her cook?” Tootsie asked.

  “Help? Her cook?” Crystal said.

  “Yeah. Help your mother cook and clean the house for that matter,” Tootsie said.

  “Not if we can help it,” Crystal said with a laugh. She took out three cans of sodas and closed the refrigerator door.

  “Well, you should help,” Ma Ray said. She looked down at the cans. “Three? Where’s Sahara?”

  “Upstairs … looking at solitaire on her laptop wishing that you had a high-speed connection so she could at least surf the Internet instead of slow dripping it.”

  “Well, tell her we have company, and she needs to come down here,” Ma Ray said.

  “I already told her,” Crystal said.

  “Then tell her again. And this time tell her that I said it,” Ma Ray said.

  Crystal smiled and nodded. “Okay”—she sang the word—“I’ll tell her.” She then sashayed out of the kitchen with an overly exaggerated switch in her hips.

  Chapter 17

  Now therefore, I pray you, swear unto me by the Lord, since I have showed you kindness, that ye will also show kindness unto my father’s house, and give me a true token.

  —Joshua 2:12

  Sahara came downstairs.

  “Hi, Sahara,” Andre said, standing when she entered the den.

  Sahara threw up a nonchalant wave and flopped down in an overstuffed chair. Aaron and Crystal were talking and didn’t bother to look up or say anything to her.

  “How was church today?” Andre asked.

  “Church was church: boring as always.”

  “Not where we go. We always have a wonderful time,” Andre said.

  “Yeah, I bet you do. I bet you get a kick out of watching ice melt, too.”

  “Excuse me?” Andre said, pulling his head back a tad.

  “Why are you here?” Sahara said with a deliberate smirk.

  Andre forced a smile. “Maybe because my grandmother and your grandmother are such great friends. Or maybe because of something I’ve been asked to do by your grandmother. Or just maybe … maybe it’s because I absolutely adore your company.”

  Sahara squinted at him, then got up and snatched the remote control off the coffee table. She started changing the channels.

  “Hey, we were watching that,” Crystal said.

  “Yeah,” Aaron said. “We were watching that.”

  “Didn’t look like you were watching anything but each other to me,” Sahara said to Crystal and Aaron as she kept clicking to another station.

  “Turn it back!” Crystal yelled. “You’re being rude, Sahara. Aaron and Andre are company, and they wanted to watch that. You can’t just come into a room and change the channel without asking if it’s okay. Mama has told you about that.”

  “Why should I ask if it’s okay?” Sahara continued scanning through the channels. “I was doing fine upstairs in my room until I was told to come down here. If I have to be down here, then I have just as much right to watch what I want as any of you. And I don’t want to watch what was on. I’m tired of the male-ego world where we women have to be ladylike and let the men have control over everything, including the remote.”

  “I’m telling Ma Ray. Just because you’re mad at her for making you come down here doesn’t mean you have to be evil to us.” Crystal got up and left the room.

  “Frankly, I don’t care if you change the channel. I don’t care about television all that much, anyway. I have better things to do with my mind,” Andre said with a fake smile.

  “Yeah, I bet you’re a real brainiac. A knockoff Einstein or something. I’m not at all surprised that we peons down here bore you,” Sahara said.

  “Why do you do that?” Andre said.

  “Do what?”

  “Why do you put yourself down like that? Do you have any idea how special you really are?”

  “Oh, I’m quite aware of how special I am. That’s why so many want to get with this.” She used her hand to showcase her own body the way models showcase things on programs such as The Price Is Right.

  “I wasn’t talking about special that way. And the ones you’re bragging about who want to get with you don’t care about the true you. All they care about is what they can get from you,” Andre said.

  “Like you don’t,” Sahara said with a slight chuckle just to further antagonize him.

  “Oh, believe me, I have high standards. I’m not interested in bargain basement deals. God created you fearfully and wonderfully, and you’re cheapening and marking yourself down.”

  “You don’t know anything about me,” Sahara said.

  “I know—”

  “Dinner’s ready,” Ma Ray said as she walked into the den. “Y’all go on in and wash up. We’re eating in the dining room. Sahara, escort our guests to the washroom.”

  “It’s that way,” Sahara said, pointing in the direction of the half bathroom near the den.

  “Sahara, please take them and show them as I just asked you to do,” Ma Ray said sternly.

  Sahara blew out a defiant sigh as she clicked off the television and gently threw the remote control on the coffee table. She stood up. “Come on,” she said to Aaron and Andre, as she walked painfully slow most of the short way.

  Chapter 18

  And that ye will save alive my father, and my mother, and my brethren, and my sisters, and all that they have, and deliver our lives from death.

  —Joshua 2:13

  “Why don’t you kids go to the movies or something?” Tootsie said. Ma Ray looked like she was completely caught off guard by that.

  “I was just about to ask if we could do that,” Aaron said.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Ma Ray said, looking at Sahara. “At least, not today.”

  “Why not?” Tootsie said, looking at Ma Ray.

  “Because I don’t want to go to the movies,” Sahara said, looking at Tootsie. She knew better than to totally embarrass her grandmother by saying what she really wanted to say, which was she didn’t want to go to the movies with these two.

  “Well, I have some extra cash. It would be my treat,” Tootsie said.

  “It’s not the money,” Sahara said. “I have my own cash. I’m quite capable of paying my own way.”

  “She wasn’t saying that we weren’t,” Ma Ray said to Sahara with a tone that spoke to her own tone.

  “May we go outside?” Sahara said to Ma Ray, forcing a fake smile.

  “Sure. I don’t keep you in here,” Ma Ray said.

  Sahara jumped up. “Come on, y’all. Let’s go outside.” She headed out the back way instead of toward the front. Crystal, Aaron, and Andre followed, though Sahara was walking faster than all of them.

  “What’s up with you?” Crystal said as soon as they walked down the back porch steps and were completely out of earshot.

  Sahara was still walking briskly. She didn’t stop to answer her sister.

  “Sahara!” Crystal grabbed her sister by the arm and spun her around. “We could have gone to the movies and you had to ruin it. You ruined it for all of us.”

  “I didn’t ruin anything,” Sahara said.

  “Yeah, you did. Because you know there’s no way Ma Ray is going to let me go to the movies with Aar
on by myself. Not until I turn sixteen. If you don’t go, I can’t go. And you know that. All you had to do was go along. Why can’t you think about anybody other than yourself?”

  “Who said I even wanted to go with her?” Andre said, chiming in.

  “You see, both of y’all are selfish,” Aaron said. “I wanted to go to the movies with Crystal. This could have been fun. It doesn’t mean it’s a date. But we could have been doing something other than sitting around this place doing pretty much nothing.”

  “Go in there and tell Ma Ray that you want to date, Crystal, and see where that gets you. Maybe she’ll let you go with Aaron without me,” Sahara said. “But there’s no way I want to go anywhere with somebody who thinks he’s too good for me.”

  “Who said I thought I was too good for you?” Andre asked.

  “When we were in the den, you said it. Not that I really care,” Sahara said.

  “What I said was that you ought to think better about the value of yourself. I was trying to tell you how awesome God made you. That’s where I was going. What I said is: you are cheapening and marking yourself down.”

  “You don’t know anything about me,” Sahara said, stepping up to his face. “You’re just like most Christians. You like judging other folks. I suppose it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, comparing yourself to others who don’t quite measure up in your sight. Well, Mister Choir Boy, maybe you don’t measure up in my sight. Maybe while you’re busy looking at how deficient I am, you need to take inventory of your own self and your own sad, pathetic life. Maybe you should work on saving your own self, instead of worrying so much about me!”

  Sahara turned and marched down toward the natural area and the stream.

  Chapter 19

  Then she let them down by a cord through the window: for her house was upon the town wall, and she dwelt upon the wall.

  —Joshua 2:15

  Sahara walked past a huge oak tree. It reminded her of an old man with bent knotty elbows, knobby knees, and thin arthritic fingers that seemed to stretch and point toward the indigo sky as it played around … sporting one of Ma Ray’s straw hats (the ones with the green plants sprouting out of their tops). Lavender blooms were all around hanging down, looking like bunches of grapes. She walked past the natural area, past the clearing, to the edge of the bank. She grabbed a vine that hung from a tree and held it as she scaled halfway down the steep bank where a stream lazily flowed below. Sahara sat down on the ground and hugged her knees.