The Importance of Being Ernie:

by Barry Livingston

  Old nerds, young nerds, they’re everywhere you look in this film. The amazing thing is that they have become today’s rock stars, in film and in real life. Who could have guessed? I started out playing them as a boy and continue to do as a grown man, which leads me to believe that there are no endings, only new beginnings.

  EPILOGUE

  Back to the Autograph Show

  Actually, there are endings, and thank God for that. The clock on the wall at the autograph show says it is five o’clock. It’s time for the remaining old-timers to pack up. Richard Dreyfus will head to the bank with his loot, Jay North is on his way back to his prison job, and I’m going home to be with the wife and kids.

  We’re up to date as far as my career goes. And I haven’t had an acting job for six months now. Uh-oh. Could I be on the downslide again? Anything is possible, as I’ve learned. You know what else I’ve learned? I can cope with the ups and the downs. I may not resurface for another twenty years ... when they finally remake My Three Sons and I’ll be cast as crusty old Uncle Charley.

  The acting business is a weird, wonderful world. It has taken me on a long, eventful ride. I started out strong as a youngster with My Three Sons, worked on stages from Broadway to Salt Lake City, went into a midlife career hibernation, battled some demons, started a family, became Mr. Mom, and began a slow, tenacious climb back into a respectable adult acting career.

  I can’t wait to see what’s coming next. Because I’m not going away any time soon.

  Acknowledgments

  I’d like to give thanks to the people who, directly or indirectly, enriched my life and helped bring this book to life:

  My brother, Stanley Livingston; my editor at Kensington Books, Gary Goldstein; my agent, Al Zuckerman; Dr. Philip Hawley Jr., Robert Hummer, Paul Jackson, Chris Craven, Mitch Gelman, Hailey Livingston, Spencer Livingston, Brent Maddock, David Nelson, Sam Nelson, Penny Perry, Laray Mayfield, Michael Zanuck, Pam Sparks, Lynda McCarrell, Lorenzo Hodges, Lorra-Lee Bartlett, Dierdre Baxter, Mike Lanigan, David O’Malley, John Stephens, John Gilstrap, Nat Bernstein, Jack Lanigan, Mi-Jack, Inc., Randal Kleiser, Harry Flynn, Bill Paxton, Richard LeRoy, Perry Herwood, Maureen Herwood, Bill Livingston, Corine Livingston, Michelle Shepherd, John Shepherd, Tony Blake, Sherilyn Jackson, Scott Spiegel, and Forest Whitaker.

  Getting an accidental Mohawk from Lucy. The haircut didn’t come out as planned for her…or me. (courtesy CBS Broadcasting, Inc.)

  My first appearance on The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet. I was deep into my acting motivation: chocolate ice cream. (courtesy Jess Morgan Company)

  Ozzie and I hanging out at the malt shop. Neither of us ever had jobs. (courtesy Jess Morgan Company)

  Ozzie with the neighborhood kids; I am front and center. FYI…Oz always wanted to split the tab. (courtesy Jess Morgan Company)

  Stan and I with my parents, and a new little brother, Bill. (author photo)

  Math prodigy, prototype nerd. (author photo)

  Pre-Beatles, I loved pompadours and wanted to look like Elvis. (author photo)

  Post-Beatles, I opted for the bowl cut, and George Harrison became my new role model. In retrospect, I look more like Moe Howard from the Three Stooges than one of the Fab Four. (author photo)

  Tramp, the My Three Sons dog, giving me a big, wet kiss. In reality, he is licking butter from behind my ear. It was a trick that animal trainers employed to get that “boy’s best friend” photo op. Nice for the dog, disgusting for me. (Courtesy CBS Broadscasting, Inc.)

  Stan’s thirteenth birthday on the My Three Sons set, with me, my mom, and Ricky Allen. (author photo)

  Stan about to topple my boat in our pool at home. My older brother was my best friend…and chief tormentor. (author photo)

  Playing chess with Don Grady (Robbie) while MacMurray looked on. It was one of the rare times that “Dad” joined us for a little fun and games off camera. We liked and respected him, but we also knew that My Three Sons was pretty much “business as usual” for the veteran star. (courtesy CBS Broadcasting, Inc.)

  If my front teeth were any bigger I could’ve used them to play the violin like Hendrix did with his guitar at Woodstock. (author photo)

  Stan and I were part of a Public Service Campaign to promote bike safety. A week later I was on crutches after a spill on my mini-motorcycle. (author photo)

  An early glamour shot, dreaming of stardom, or perhaps just a good cheeseburger. (author photo)

  Stan and I camping with the scouts. He seemed to know something about my foot that I didn’t. I’d probably stepped in “something.” (author photo)

  In the early 1970s. (author photo)

  A celebration with the cast, minus MacMurray, who was away on one of his lengthy scheduled vacations. My director and great pal, Fred De Cordova (in glasses), is in the center alongside Pete Weismuller, MacMurray’s stand-in. FYI…Pete was Johnny Weismuller’s (Tarzan’s) brother. (author photo)

  Putting in a phone call to “Dad”… perhaps asking for a raise? Slim chance that would happen because MacMurray, the show’s star and part owner, was famously frugal. (author photo)

  A final My Three Sons cast photo that includes Beverly Garland (MacMurray’s TV wife, Barbara), Tina Cole (Katie), and Dawn Lyn (Dodie). The all-male household from the show’s early years was long gone. (courtesy CBS Broadcasting, Inc.)

  Post My Three Sons. I was in my mid-twenties and searching for a new identity, minus the Ernie glasses. (author photo)

  Me with one of my favorite uncles, Sylvan, who could guzzle whiskey like it was iced tea. On this particular tipsy night, he removed his false teeth while waiting for a bucket of chicken at the local KFC. When he got home, he realized he’d left his fake choppers at the fast-food restaurant and I was sent to retrieve them. (author photo)

  Wedding Day, 1983. Karen and I are still going strong after more than a quarter century. (author photo)

  Stan and I in the mid 1990s, which marked the end of my hair on top. As much as I hated to see my youthful mop disappear, the new look helped me transition into more adult roles and a rebirth of my acting career. (author photo)

  Camping in the Sierra Nevadas with Karen, Spencer, and Hailey. Being with my family in the great outdoors is one of the ongoing joys in my life. (author photo)

  Forced to fly a jumbo jet with Dean Cain in a Hallmark Channel mini-series, Final Approach. Neither of our characters knew how to pilot a plane yet we landed the jet without breaking a sweat. Ah, TV reality. (courtesy Crown Media Holdings, Inc.)

  My wonderful, beautiful, and incredibly cute sister Michelle. (author photo)

  The original eldest son from My Three Sons, Tim Considine, with Stan and me, in 2005. (author photo)

  Me, looking quite sinister and creepy for Hostel 3. (author photo)

  CITADEL PRESS BOOKS are published by

  Kensington Publishing Corp.

  119 West 40th Street

  New York, NY 10018

  Copyright © 2011 Barry Livingston

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.

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  ISBN: 978-0-8065-3525-8