Needing Arella (Rockers' Legacy Book 6)

by Terri Anne Browning

His foot stomped on the brake, causing the car to jerk abruptly to a stop for the next red light. After a few tense seconds of silence, I chanced a glance at him. He was staring out the window at the car in front of us, his hands clenched around the steering wheel so tight, the white of his knuckles glowed in the dimness of the car’s interior. His jaw was so rigid, a muscle ticked in his cheek.

  Jordan didn’t speak, didn’t even move until the light turned green once again, and he carefully eased on the gas to stay with the flow of traffic. He looked pissed, but I felt too raw from the emotional war going on within me over everything I’d felt that night to really care if he was mad at me.

  Seventeen

  Jordan

  Days before Arella’s eighteenth birthday, I’d shopped for hours for her gift. It had to be perfect. Something that would tell her what I was feeling without overwhelming her or scaring her off. But at the same time, I’d needed it to tell her everything I was too much of a chickenshit to say aloud.

  In truth, I’d been scared out of my ass to tell her what was in my heart back then. She’d still been in high school, for fuck’s sake. What if what I was feeling—what I thought she might have felt too—was really just an infatuation that burned out for her?

  Which was why I’d bitched-out when my father had said he had an issue in Italy that needed personal attention. I’d hopped on one of our private jets and asked my parents to go to Arella’s party in my place. Work got crazy, and time ran away from me. It was as if one minute, it was her birthday, and then I blinked, and it was months later.

  When she started dating that Lyle loser around the time her grandfather died, I thought I’d been right. That her feelings were just as I’d feared, and she’d moved on. But I hadn’t given up. I’d stayed in the background, calling her and keeping in touch like nothing was different, biding my time.

  It wasn’t until Christmas Eve and Aunt Gabs had opened my eyes to a few things that I realized maybe I’d fucked up somewhere along the way.

  Now, with the revelation that she’d never even opened that damned present all those months ago, it was glaringly evident where exactly I’d made such a huge mistake.

  It was a bitter pill to swallow, but now I could see all too clearly that I’d screwed up royally by not going to that party. By sending someone else to give her such an important gift. By not telling her myself exactly what she meant to me.

  I had no one else to blame but myself; I could see that. It was my fault she’d dated other guys. That she’d given all her firsts to someone else.

  That she didn’t fucking know I loved her more than life itself.

  It was apparent I didn’t deserve any of those firsts, because I hadn’t had the balls to take what I could finally see we’d both wanted back then.

  Swallowing the knot that had filled my throat, I realized I needed to focus on our present and future. She was mine now, and I wasn’t fucking letting her go. Ever.

  As I pulled into the parking lot of the little restaurant where we were having dinner, I promised myself that I would make everything up to her.

  Turning off the car, I grabbed her hand and brought it to my lips. “Sit right there. Don’t move. Please?”

  A frown pulled her brows together, but she nodded, remaining quiet as I got out of the car. Closing the door behind me, I sent a text to Mia, begging her to do me a favor without asking questions. Immediately, I got a text back, assuring me she had it handled.

  Pocketing my phone, I walked around to Arella’s door and opened it for her. She was still frowning as I helped her out.

  “Are you…angry with me?” she finally asked when we just stood there looking at each other for a long moment.

  My eyes continued to eat up the sight of her, wondering where we might be at this point in our relationship if I hadn’t fucked up so abysmally. Would I already have my ring on her finger? Would she have already given birth to our first baby, maybe with our second on the way?

  Fuck, it was driving me crazy just thinking about all the possibilities. Telling myself to let the past go, I gently grasped her chin between my thumb and index finger, tilting her head up so I could kiss her. “No,” I choked out when I broke the kiss. “I’m not angry with you, baby. Just myself.”

  She wrapped her arms around my waist. The feel of her pressed up against me only reminded me that I’d wasted so much time. I needed to fix this now, tonight. Vowing that not another day would pass without her knowing exactly what she meant to me, I kissed her again and then guided her toward the restaurant entrance.

  As I’d expected and called ahead to warn, we were late. The place was small, but it had some of the best food in the entire city. There were people waiting, but I knew our table was ready for us. Instead of pausing at the hostess’s stand, I kept my hand on the small of Arella’s back and ushered her to the back of the restaurant.

  “Rude,” she hissed to me as we passed at least a dozen people waiting for their tables. “We can’t just walk in and pick an empty table. You’re mega rich, but you still have to be considerate. And at a glance, this place doesn’t have an empty table to spare.”

  I stopped and dropped another kiss on her lips, putting a halt to the scolding she was giving me. When I lifted my head, her fingers were clenched in my suit jacket. “I promise we have a table waiting on us,” I assured her with a grin.

  “Oh,” she murmured a little breathlessly. “O-okay, then.”

  Despite the turmoil my emotions were still in, I found myself laughing wholeheartedly as I linked our fingers and tugged her to where my parents were already enjoying glasses of wine at our table.

  When Arella spotted them, she stopped walking, causing me to drag her a few steps before I realized what had happened. Pausing, I turned to look down at her and found her glaring up at me accusingly. “We’re having dinner with your mother?”

  My brows lifted. “Why are you mad? After how important it seemed to you yesterday, I thought this would be a nice surprise.”

  “It is,” she whispered, shifting restlessly in front of me, and it dawned on me that she was feeling vulnerable.

  Realizing this was only one more fuckup on my part, I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and urged her toward our table.

  As we neared, my father stood, but to my surprise, so did my mother. She grabbed my father’s arm that he readily offered for support so she didn’t have to use her cane, and once she was steady, she gave my girl a beaming smile.

  I cleared my throat, knowing I had to get this right. Fuck, from here on out, I had to get everything right. “Mom, I want to introduce you—”

  “Oh, honey, I’ve known Arella since she—” she started to interrupt.

  “—to the love of my life. My future wife and the mother of your grandchildren,” I finished. The rightness of those words eased something tight in my throat, and I silently vowed to introduce her to everyone we met exactly like that until she really was my wife and the mother of my children.

  Arella’s gasp was like a slash to my heart, reminding me that I hadn’t even told her I loved her yet. But my mom’s smile only got brighter, if that was possible, and she turned to my girl, pulling her in for a tight hug.

  “Again, that’s not news to me,” Mom said with a soft laugh as she pulled back enough to wink down at Arella. “Although I was beginning to wonder if my son would ever get his head out of his ass and make things official with you.”

  Arella choked out a laugh, shooting me a teasing glare. “He does tend to keep it stuck pretty far up there, doesn’t he?”

  “Sadly, he’s just like his father when it comes to things like this.” My mom shook her head in mock despair. “But fortunately for us, they eventually realize their mistakes and work hard to fix them.”

  The two most important women in my life stood there, arms still around each other, and I’d never seen a sight that had warmed my heart so completely in my entire life. I didn’t even care that they were making fun of me. It was well deserved, and I would ha
ppily let them continue for the rest of my life if only I got endless moments like this one.

  “Ladies, if you are done being disappointed in my son and me,” Dad muttered, his eyes seeming just as transfixed on the sight of them together as I was. “Maybe we could sit and have our first family dinner?”

  Eighteen

  Arella

  “Love of my life.”

  Those four words kept replaying in my head throughout dinner, making me so damn thankful that I was such a good actress because I was able to pretend like I was paying attention to at least half of the things Alexis Moreitti said to me. But, fuck, it was hard when her son had rocked my world repeatedly that evening.

  The whole “my future wife and the mother of your grandchildren” didn’t really even register for me. I’d heard it, but my brain hadn’t fully computed it because all I could think about was that Jordan had just said I was the love of his life.

  Pop-Pop had always told my siblings and me that the way a man introduced a woman to his mother was how he truly thought of her. That was why I’d always been kind of hung up on not sleeping with a guy until I met his mother. If he didn’t at least introduce me as his girlfriend, then I didn’t mean enough to him to give him my body.

  I’d broken that rule for Jordan, but he’d more than made up for it with the way he’d introduced me to his mom.

  One of my many fantasies had come true with how Alexis had welcomed me with open arms. After everything that had happened since my eighteenth birthday, I’d never thought it would happen. Hell, I’d thought she didn’t even really like me. So many times, I’d caught her frowning at me. I’d always thought she was sizing me up and finding me lacking. That she didn’t want me to be with her only son, but she was just too nice to tell me to stay away from him.

  “I’ve never been one to spank my child,” Alexis commented over dessert as she finished her glass of wine. Her eyes kept going from me to Jordan, and she shook her head as a small smile teased at her lips. “But over the past few years, there were times I seriously contemplated beating some sense into him. I mean, I could see how he felt about you.” Reaching across the table, she took my hand, giving it a loving squeeze. “And I could see that you cared just as strongly. But Jordan was doing nothing but making mistake after mistake. I wanted to shake him and tell him to open his eyes, to stop breaking your heart, but I’d promised myself when he was younger that I would never interfere with his life.”

  Everything fell into place so suddenly, I almost laughed. “I honestly thought you hated me and didn’t want me to be with him. That maybe you wanted…better for him.”

  I felt everyone at the table tense, but I wasn’t brave enough to look at anyone but Alexis.

  “Better?” she got out in a strangled voice. “Arella, sweetheart, do you not think you’re good enough for Jordan? Because to me, there is no one better than you, sweet girl. From the first time Jordan mentioned your name when you were only sixteen, I knew you already held my son’s heart in the palm of your hand. I always knew it was you who was going to be my daughter-in-law. Always.”

  My chin started to tremble, and I quickly bit my bottom lip to stop it. Shifting my gaze, I picked up my water glass and took a small sip, willing my tears not to spill over.

  A rasped curse came from beside me. In the next moment, Jordan was on his feet and I was lifted into his arms. “Mom, I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said. “I have a few things to clear up before I lose my mind.”

  The sensation of eyes on me had me burying my face in Jordan’s neck. Hidden away, the threat of tears only heightened, and I felt the embarrassing wetness on my cheeks. Vaguely, I heard his parents replying and then felt Jordan walking away.

  I could picture people with their phones out taking pictures of us as we left, and I figured we would be all over entertainment news within the hour.

  The chilly night air caused me to shiver as he stepped outside and walked toward his parked car. I felt his lips against my ear, and I tightened my arms around his shoulders. “Baby,” he groaned as if he were in agony. “Please don’t cry. I have so many things to tell you. Just hold on until we get home, and then I’ll make it all better. I promise.”

  “I-I’m s-sorry I ruined d-dinner,” I sobbed.

  “Shh, baby, shh. No. You didn’t ruin anything.” He kept kissing my temple, my cheek, my hair. “I should have told you how much you mean to me—how much I fucking love you—years ago. But I was scared…” His exhale sounded pained, and I lifted my head to see tears glittering in his eyes.

  Feeling as if I were in a dream, I touched my fingertips to his eyelashes. The dampness made me realize this was, in fact, reality. “I’m so sorry, Arella. Baby, please forgive me.”

  “Forgive you for what?” I asked, confused.

  He’d reached his car. Carefully, he shifted me so he could open the door, then set me in the passenger seat. Once I was settled, he pulled the seat belt across me and snapped it into place before taking hold of both of my hands and bringing them to his mouth.

  “I’m going to tell you everything as soon as we get home,” he promised, kissing my palms. “But right now, I need you to know that what my mother just said is one hundred percent the truth. There is no one better for me than you. No other girl could ever touch my heart the way you do. No one could possibly give my life more meaning, more joy, more love than you. Even when you were sixteen and I was trying to tell myself and everyone else that we were just friends, I knew it was the biggest lie I’d ever spoken in my life. You are the other half of my soul. I’ve loved you for so long, I honestly can’t remember a time when I didn’t love you.”

  “Jordan.” I couldn’t blink my eyes fast enough to keep the tears at bay. As they spilled over, he cursed savagely and released my hand so he could gently wipe them away. “I-I love you too. I always have.”

  His hands on my face, there was no mistaking the way his entire body quaked at my words. “Babe, I’ve ached to hear you say that to me.”

  My laugh came out a little choked. “I could say the same about hearing you say it.”

  His kiss stole my breath along with my ability to think about anything but his taste on my tongue. I stabbed my fingers through his hair, clinging to him as I kissed him back like my very life depended on it. I wanted closer, wanted to feel every inch of his skin against my own. After hearing the words I’d been so desperate to hear for years, I needed him to show me just how true they were.

  The sound of high-pitched laughter in the distance made me jerk in reaction as I was reminded that we were in a very public place. As badly as I wanted to feel Jordan inside me right that moment, I didn’t want to have to explain to my parents why I’d been arrested for indecent exposure while having sex in my boyfriend’s car outside the restaurant where I’d just had dinner with his mother and father.

  Panting, Jordan lifted his head. “We need to get home before I do something that gets us both in trouble.” He kissed the tip of my nose and straightened. With a wink, he closed the door then jogged around to the driver’s side. Within a matter of moments, we were on the road, driving in the direction of his apartment.

  As he drove, I couldn’t tear my gaze from his profile. With the way he glanced my way every few seconds, I figured he was having the same problem but had to force his attention on the road so we could get home safely. Neither of us spoke until he pulled into his parking spot in the garage.

  “Let me get your door,” was all he said before he was rushing to get out and come around to my side.

  Placing my hand in his, I stood and then threw my arms around his neck once again. “I need you,” I breathed close to his ear. “Please hurry.”

  Clasping hands, we took off running for the elevator. Thankfully, no one else was waiting, and once we were inside, Jordan swiped a card and punched in a code, bypassing every other floor and sending us straight to his to avoid any delays of other people getting on or off.

  No sooner had the elevator started to ascend
than he was backing me against the rear wall and kissing me senseless. Clutching at his shoulders, I jumped and locked my legs around his back. My skirt lifted several inches, and I could feel cool air on my ass as my thong was exposed. Jordan skimmed his fingers up the outsides of my thighs before gripping my ass with both hands while his hips thrust against me, promising me without words that he was going to give my body everything it ached for.

  Vaguely, I heard the ding of the elevator doors opening, and then Jordan was carrying me to his apartment. It took a few tries to get the door open because he didn’t want to stop kissing me long enough to see what he was doing. Once we were inside, he kicked the door closed and then pressed me up against it. My thong was shifted to the side, and then three large fingers were thrust into my core.

  “So wet for me,” he groaned. “Such a needy little pussy. Do you think I can make it purr for me, baby?”

  “Jordan, don’t tease me,” I pleaded. “I need you.”

  Cursing, he pulled back just enough to unfasten his belt and slacks. I had to ease the hold my legs had on his waist so he could pull his cock free, but within seconds, he was filling me the way I craved.

  “Already clenching around me,” he groaned. “And without a condom again. Do you want me to fill you with my come, Arella? Do you want me to put a baby inside you?”

  “Yes,” I sobbed, already close to a powerful release. “I want it all. You, us, a baby. Please, Jordan. Give me everything I’ve ever wanted.”

  “I’m going to,” he promised, his lips latching on to my neck. “I’m going to make every dream you have come true. Just say the word, and it’s yours, love.”

  “Tell me you love me again,” I cried. “Please. I-I want to hear the words as I come.”

  I felt him grow thicker inside me and knew he was just as close as I was. As he lifted his head, our eyes locked, and he swallowed roughly before whispering the words I’d never thought I would ever hear from him. “I love you so fucking much, baby. I always have.”