His youngest similarly came down with massive stage fright as her own bat mitzvah approached. Lou was known for many personality traits: He was an obsessive-compulsive neat freak, a fanatical Philly sports fan, a lover of French pastry—but above all, a man with a sense of fair play. He let his youngest know that he wished her to have her bat mitzvah as planned. But, he noted by way of another option, the deposit on the banquet room was refundable, and those monies might be moved into a trip to Israel, where Susie would be encouraged to have a quick and speedy bat mitzvah. And would it kill us to stop in Paris for a couple of days on the way over? Susie Smith chose door number two. Years later, she met and fell in love with a Mormon. Sure, Michael had left the church. But still. As discussions of matrimony began, she suddenly started roasting chickens on Shabbat. Shortly thereafter she demanded and received Jewish children.
His middle child—his son, his only son—offered an easier case, at least on paper. He dutifully finished Hebrew school and became a bar mitzvah (theme: baseball) and dated each and every one of the attractive Jewish girls from among the dozen or so Jewish families found in his small, suburban, wasp-y hometown. So it was surprising that he would fall in love with an Episcopalian lesbian, one willing to abandon her taste for the opposite sex but not her faith. As his wife did not feel the need to procreate, the Jewish question was largely avoided.
I am that middle child. The only son. The last of the Jewish Smiths.
The first Smith was Morris Smith, my grandfather, known to one and all as Smitty. Smitty died with most of his hair after an excellent run that began in 1911 in a small suburb of Minsk and ended ninety-one years later in a small suburb of Philadelphia. Upon his arrival at Ellis Island, his family name was changed to “Smith” from “Kuznets,” a loose translation of “blacksmith,” an irony not lost on the generations of Smith family men more comfortable at a racetrack than in a metal shop. His name would end with me, his only grandson. “It’s up to you,” the first Smith said wistfully at my older sister’s wedding.
The woman I would eventually wed did not want children. She was very stubborn and very beautiful, a combination that means you’ll rarely change her mind and that the risks of even trying are formidable. If you were to bet on our procreation, you’d probably bet against me. But that would also be a bet against my faith: the resourceful, stubborn, steely DNA that got my people out of Egypt, my grandfather out of Russia, and me to marry my heretofore elusive bride. “You finally broke her down,” my astonished friend Tim said to us upon telling him we were expecting a half-Jewish baby. At this point, even Lou Smith would agree that attempting to negotiate a religious preference was foolhardy.
And so it is that the Smith family name continues. Two years into our son’s life, we’re raising him both Jewish and Episcopalian. This year we managed to light the world’s ugliest menorah (theme: sports candleholders) a couple of nights, and placed a star with six points atop our Christmas tree. Our boy will be exposed to both our faiths, without a lot of fanfare and an unspoken agreement to keep lobbying for saviors or chosen people to a minimum.
Today, when Lou looks down at his grandchildren, he sees six mixed-faith mutts, each and every one of them stronger, smarter, and more gorgeous than his parents or grandparents. There’s a term for what my father now sees before him: hybrid vigor. It’s a phrase usually applied to plants and animals and describes superior qualities that come from genetic crossbreeding. Purebred dogs, for example, often have more health problems and die younger than mixed breeds. And Russian Jews who marry Russian Jews are more likely to get Gaucher’s disease, as my own family can attest. My older sister’s first son is handsome, a math genius, and a baseball star. The purebred golden retriever her husband received in the deal was sweet . . . and dumb.
When Lou Smith looks at my boy, his youngest grandson, the last Smith in the line, he sees my cheeks, my wife’s fair skin, a big, funny mouth, and the most beautiful tangle of blond curly hair imaginable. Is my hybrid-vigor boy a superior breed? Who knows, but he sure looks good to me. With each interfaith union, my father has mellowed or maybe just become resigned; either way, from that La-Z-Boy our family’s Grand Poo-Bah looks quite pleased these days. The Smith family name continues. It does so without the bloodshed of Pinhas’ day, or the eye rolling of mine. Will there be Jewish Smiths down the line? Only one person can say.
“If a man makes a vow to the Lord or takes an oath imposing an obligation on himself, he shall not break his pledge; he must carry out all that has crossed his lips.” —Numbers 30:3
MATTOT (“Tribes”)
Numbers 30:2–32:42
A vow is a vow, except when it is not. Moses gathers the tribal heads and explains the laws of “vows” or legal commitments to them. If a man makes a vow to the Lord, it has to be fulfilled, but the rules are more complex for women, depending on their marital status and age.
If a young woman assumes a vow while she is still living with her parents, it will stand only if her father authorizes it.
A divorcée or widow’s vow is considered binding, but a married woman needs her husband’s authorization if the vow is to stand. If he waits longer than a day to make his decision, he will assume her guilt if the vow goes unfulfilled.
Crushing Midianites
God orders Moses to take vengeance on the Midianites, reminding him that this military campaign will be the last act before his death. Moses calls up a thousand men from each of the twelve tribes. Pinhas is appointed as the priest for the operation, overseeing the choreography of the all-important trumpet blasts. With the Lord on their side, the Israelites slay every male foe, including the kings of Midian: Evi, Rekem, Zur, Hur, and Reba. Balaam is also put to the sword, yet the Israelites do not suffer a single casualty.
The Midianite women and children are taken captive; beasts, herds, and possessions are seized. Their towns and camps are burned to the ground.
Booty-licious
When the generals present the booty and slaves to Moses, he berates them for sparing the women, as they are the ones who have tempted so many of his men back in camp. He orders all of them, except for the virgins, to be put to death. Meanwhile, Eleazar, the priest, oversees the purification process for the soldiers, as many have understandably been in contact with corpses.
God tells Moses to oversee the division of booty with Eleazar, suggesting they make a careful inventory before dividing it equally among the soldiers and the rest of the community. Each man is instructed to rededicate a portion of his booty (including 675,000 sheep and 32,000 virgins) to the Lord.
Cow country
The chieftains of Reuben and Gad approach Moses with a proposition.
The fertile region that has just been conquered is perfect cow country. Because both tribes are cattle-rich, they want permission to settle down and exploit it without moving into the land God has promised.
Moses is initially lukewarm to the idea: He is reminded of the scouts who angered God by turning the people away from the Lord’s master plan. He worries that the tribes of Reuben and Gad will become a distraction to the rest of the community as they continue their journey; he asks the other chieftains whether they think it would be fair if the two tribes detached themselves from the national mission.
But the leaders of Gad and Reuben counter by offering to act as shock troops to protect the Israelite vanguard, insisting that the military role will be their priority. Moses agrees to the idea—if the two tribes will first cross the Jordan with the Israelites to protect their rear and then take possession of the land only once the fight is over.
The Gadites and the Reubenites agree to settle their wives, children, and flocks east of the Jordan while their men proceed with Moses and the rest of the Israelite army.
Gabe Delahaye
I wish you an easy fast. Right? Right.
God takes promises very seriously, no duh, in a way that is totally respectable but also
makes Him seem like the kind of guy who, if He was your roommate, would put up a chore wheel on the very first day, color-coded so everyone knew who was responsible for taking out the trash or cleaning up the living room that week. You wouldn’t even have your boxes unpacked and already He would be calling a house meeting, complaining that someone ate the low-fat coffee-flavored yogurt in the fridge that was clearly marked “G-d.” He has a point. Other people would come over to watch a movie or for a dinner party and compliment you on how nice and neat the apartment was, and you’d have to admit that it was all God’s doing, and He would emerge from the kitchen with a frilly, old-fashioned apron tied over His oxford shirt and slap your knuckles with a wooden spoon slicked with red sauce because you were hogging too many curried-chicken endive boats and weren’t leaving enough for the guests. It’s not always easy, but He’s the one who found the apartment in the first place, so you really only have a place to live because of Him. It’s hard to complain too much. But you find a way.
The one exception God makes is virgins. They’re allowed to break their promises to Him. Hahaha. That is just classic God. Dude loves virgins! But then again, who doesn’t?! He also says that married women are allowed to break their vows to Him if they made them before they were married and their husband says okay. It’s all very ’90s. Everyone else is stuck, though.
So God tells Moses (who used to live here but had to move out after he broke his lease. This is a good metaphor, let’s just keep doing this metaphor forever) that he’s going into a battle where he will for sure die and there are no two buts about it. But? No. No buts! And you know what Moses does? Runs right up in there! High knees even! That is the depth to which God (and Moses, I guess) takes promises seriously. Even in the face of certain death, your vows must be upheld. Well, fair enough! The truth is, it’s a pretty apt metaphor for just about everything that we do, whether we believe in Him or not. Not to get all college-sophomore-single-credit-survey-course-in-existentialism on anyone, but whether you believe in an all-powerful creator who sits on a throne made of clouds and worries over who is going to get cancer and who is going to get the latest iPhone, or you believe that the universe is a Godless farce of absolute absurdity with zero rules or consequences, the result is 100 percent the same. SPOILER ALERT: We die in the end. Life itself is a fight from which we will not, not a one of us, return. The singular promise we have all inherently made to the world is that we will disappear one day. And it’s the one promise that we will for sure keep. But? No.
So get in there. Thrash around a little bit. Get those knees up. And if you say you’re going to do something, you better damn well do it. You promised, and besides, not doing it won’t save you. Nothing will.
“These w3 started out from the land of Egypt, troop by troop, in the charge of Moses and Aaron.” —Numbers 33:1
MASEI (“Journeys”)
Numbers 33:1–36:13
The invasion is planned: the Israelites’ journeys are faithfully recorded after they follow God out of Rameses, and then in the grasslands of Moab, near Jericho, the Lord provides Moses with the military strategy to dispossess the inhabitants of Canaan. The Israelites are under orders to destroy all idols, demolish temples, and settle the land, sharing it among themselves in the way God apportioned. Joshua and Eleazar will oversee that process. God warns Moses to show no mercy to the Midianites, to prevent them from becoming thorns in the Israelites’ sides.
Cities of refuge
The Levites are assigned forty-eight towns, six of which are to be known as “Cities of Refuge,” where a man who has unintentionally killed another can escape those seeking vengeance. The man can then wait to stand trial and benefit from the application of justice. God explains the difference between manslaughter and murder. Someone who kills another with an iron bar, stone, or wooden tool is a murderer who can be put to death by the victim’s avenger. The avenger can also kill the offender if he or she ever steps outside the City of Refuge.
Rules of evidence are detailed. More than one witness must provide testimony in a murder case. Convicted murderers cannot pay ransoms to save their lives. They have to suffer the death penalty. Bloodshed pollutes the land, and only the blood of the murderer can compensate for that.
The Daughters of Zelophehad, Round II
Members of the Daughters of Zelophehad’s tribe approach Moses for a clarification of the law. The daughters have successfully inherited their father’s land, but the tribe is worried they will lose the land to another tribe if the daughters marry, as all of their possessions would automatically be reassigned to their husbands. The Lord solves the problem neatly by decreeing that the daughters can marry only within their own tribe. The daughters follow the law, marrying their cousins.
Rebecca Bortman
Part Five
Deuteronomy
With his death approaching, Moses uses the time he has left to preach, beg, suggest, threaten, urge, and pray that the Israelites keep the covenant. Having been refused entry to the promised land, the aging Israelite relives the adventures of the wilderness experiences, then states and restates the blessings and curses that await his people once he is no more.
The flawed leader, born with a speech impediment, has become an orator, and although many men would seek to burnish their own legend, Moses appears almost maniacally focused on the lethal threat posed by idols. Upon handing the mantle of leadership over to Joshua, he ascends the mountain and views the promised land from a distance, knowing he will never enter it.
Jesse Aaron Cohen
D’varim (“Words”) Deuteronomy 1:1–3:22
Ariel Kaminer
Va-ethannan (“And I pleaded”) Deuteronomy 3:23–7:11
Charles London
Eikev (“If you follow”) Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25
Samantha Shapiro
Re’eh (“See”) Deuteronomy 11:26–16:17
David Katznelson
Shof’tim (“Judges”) Deuteronomy 16:18–21:9
Davy Rothbart
Ki Tetzei (“When you go”) Deuteronomy 21:10–25:19
Anonymous
Ki Tavo (“When you enter”) Deuteronomy 26:1–29:8
Eli Attie
Nitzavim (“Ones standing”) Deuteronomy 29:9–30:20
Gillian Laub
Va-ye’lekh (“Then he went out”) Deuteronomy 31:1–30
Rick Meyerowitz
Ha’azinu (“Listen”) Deuteronomy 32:1–52
Roger Bennett
Vezot Haberakhah (“And this is the blessing”) Deuteronomy 33:1–34:12
“See, I place the land at your disposal. Go, take possession of the land that the Lord swore to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to assign to them and to their heirs after them.” —Deuteronomy 1:8
D’VARIM (“Words”)
Deuteronomy 1:1–3:22
Moses reviews his forty years of leadership: Aware that his death is imminent, Moses reviews the forty years of wandering he has overseen. He reminds the Israelites of the journeys they have taken and the laws they have received on the way to fulfilling God’s promise to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob by entering Canaan.
Moses remembers the time he told the Israelites they would become as numerous as the stars in the sky and reminds them of the day he admitted he could no longer stand their bickering on his own. He reviews the governance structures he has created, engaging wise men, chieftains, and magistrates.
He then reminisces about the journeys they have undertaken together, retelling the story of the twelve spies, which resulted in God decreeing that the generation who escaped Egypt would die in the desert.
The Israelites’ military campaigns are revisited, beginning with failure in the Amorite hill country when the Israelites attacked against the Lord’s advice and were defeated. The Lord advises Moses to ask the Ammonite kings for safe passage, as their lands have been set aside for Lot’s descendants. Mo
ses recounts the Israelites’ victorious military campaigns beginning with the attack on the king of Heshbon, a triumph in which every enemy male, female, and child was slaughtered, making future foes fear Israel’s name. The defeat of the giant King Og is also revisited, along with the resulting deal struck by the tribes of Reuben and Gad that saw them settle the land.
Finally, Moses recounts the words of advice he has provided his successor, Joshua, telling him to fear no enemies, as the Lord will do battle for him.
Jesse Aaron Cohen
An Archivist’s Scrapbook: Selections from the YIVO Scrapbook
I started working at the YIVO Institute for Jewish Research straight out of college in 2002. I stayed, working mostly as a photo archivist, for the next ten years (though I had a music career going simultaneously). YIVO was founded in Vilna, Poland, in 1925 as a library, archives, and research institute dedicated to preserving and enriching the history and culture of Yiddish-speaking Eastern European Jews. Despite spending a big portion of my life as a musician—traveling, expanding my personal horizons—I kept returning to YIVO. It was a weird, wonderful, fascinating little corner of the world that I considered my own. Staring at old photographs all day, I felt like I spent half of my time in New York in the twenty-first century and the other half in Poland in the 1920s. One of the principles that YIVO was founded on is doikayt or “hereness,” which means, simply, that the diaspora is the Jewish homeland. Rather than looking for a new home, advocates of doikayt worked to legitimize Jewish culture and improve the lives of Jews in the countries in which they had lived their entire lives.
Unscrolled : 54 Writers and Artists Wrestle With the Torah (9780761178743) Page 21
