The Choosing

by Annabelle Jacobs

  “They’ll understand, Meren. I love my mother, and Serim, and Mahli very much, but I….” Jerath hesitates. They’ve never said the words before. It’s all happened so quickly between them that Jerath hasn’t dared to trust his feelings. But the magic of the bond is true, and he feels the love flowing between them both. He swallows down his fear and meets Meren’s eyes.

  “I love you.” Jerath’s heart swells at the sight of Meren’s wide smile. “I want to be with you, and as much as I’ll miss my mother and my friends… I can’t live without you.”

  “Come here.” Meren licks over his bottom lip and tugs on Jerath’s hand. He can’t sit up without help yet, so Jerath stretches out beside him on the bed.

  Meren slips a hand around Jerath’s neck and into his hair. He drags him closer until their lips are almost touching but not quite. “I love you too.”

  It’s just a whisper of words, but Jerath feels them all the way down to his bones. He edges that bit closer and captures Meren’s lips in a soft, lazy kiss. There’s no need to hurry now, so Jerath takes his time to lick into Meren’s mouth and savor every moment. They lie there on the bed, wrapped up in each other, and trade gentle touches until the sun starts to set.

  THE morning light filters in through the windows in Meren’s room, signaling the start of the day. Jerath watches Meren sleep, all tucked up under the thick fur blankets. He looks so peaceful and Jerath doesn’t want to wake him, but his people are waiting for him. It’s time for them all to leave and return to Eladir.

  Jerath rests his hand on Meren’s shoulder, leans down and kisses his forehead. “Meren.” He gives him a gentle shake. “Meren.”

  Meren wakes up slowly, smiling as he focuses on Jerath. “Hey, you’re up early.”

  “Yeah.”

  Meren’s smile falters and fades as he takes in Jerath’s expression. “Is it time, already?”

  Jerath nods. “They’re waiting for me.”

  The silence sits heavily between them. Neither one wants to be the first to say good-bye. It makes Jerath huff out a laugh and he reaches out to grasp Meren’s hand. “I won’t be gone long.”

  “Long enough.” Meren sighs and squeezes Jerath’s hand. “How will it react, being so far away from each other?” He rubs both their hands across his chest. “The bond, I mean.”

  “You’ll feel an ache in your heart that’ll get deeper the longer I’m gone, and it won’t stop until I return.” Jerath smiles softly and raises their hands so he can kiss Meren’s fingers. “But I will return, Meren.” He’s not sure how long it’ll take to get to Eladir from Chastil—he and Serim didn’t take the direct route here. They have to cross the vast grasslands before reaching the edge of the forest of Arradil, but Jerath is determined to be back with Meren as soon as he possibly can.

  There’s a knock on the door, and Serim pokes her head in. “Are you ready, Jerath?”

  She grins at Meren and comes in to hug him good-bye. “Thank you, Meren. For everything.”

  She leans down and whispers something in Meren’s ear, making him laugh, and Jerath makes a mental note to ask her about that later.

  Serim disappears back out the door with a pointed look at Jerath.

  “I have to go.”

  Meren pulls him down toward the bed and buries his face in the crook of Jerath’s neck. “Be careful, Jerath,” he whispers. “I’ll miss you.” He draws back to look Jerath in the eye. “But don’t come back until you’ve done everything you need to. I know how hard this is going to be for you, and everyone else.”

  Jerath curls his hand around the back of Meren’s neck and kisses him hard. He pours everything into it—all the love and hope and desperation he’s feeling—and prays it’ll be enough to last them both. “Love you.”

  “I love you too. Now go, before they march in here looking for you.”

  Jerath already feels the ache in his chest as he turns and walks out the door.

  EVERYONE’S waiting in the camp. Jerath sees Serim talking to Malek and Torek, and he walks over to join them.

  “Finally!” Torek claps him on the back. “I thought we might have to send someone in to get you.”

  “Sorry.” Jerath blushes a little and glares at Serim when she laughs.

  Torek grins at him and excuses himself to go get everyone ready to leave.

  “Torek and nine of my men will escort you home.” Malek gestures behind him and Jerath sees the men and wagons loaded up with supplies. A few of the men are busy saying good-bye to their women. There are tight hugs and kisses, and Jerath knows just how they feel.

  Serim slips her hand into Jerath’s and he smiles, thankful for her silent support. “We can’t thank you enough for all your help,” Jerath says, offering his hand for Malek to shake.

  Malek grips it firmly in both of his and nods. “Our two villages will always help each other, Jerath.” He glances over his shoulder in the direction of Meren’s house. “Even more so now.”

  The men are all ready to leave and Malek ushers Serim and Jerath over toward Torek. “I understand you’ll be coming back to stay with us, Jerath?”

  “Yes.”

  “I look forward to officially welcoming you into the family, then.” Malek claps him on the back and says his farewells to Torek and the others before standing to watch as they start their journey to Eladir.

  THEY’VE been walking for several hours when Kyr sidles alongside Jerath and falls into step with him and Serim. Ghaneth and Caleb are walking a little in front of them and off to the side, telling Torek all about life as a shifter. Caleb watches Kyr approach Jerath with a curious look, but doesn’t pause in his conversation.

  Jerath has managed to avoid Kyr since the rescue, but now it’s only the shifters and a handful of Malek’s men, it’s harder to stay out of his way.

  “So….” Kyr looks over at him and smirks. “I see your fangs came in after all, and now you can shift.” Jerath’s hackles rise as Kyr casts a sly glance over at Serim and Ghaneth. “Wonder how that happened?”

  Serim glares at Kyr and slips her hand into Jerath’s. “I’m not ashamed, Kyr, nor do I regret it.” Kyr cocks an eyebrow, as though he doesn’t believe her. “I love Jerath, and I am honored to have helped him through his Choosing.”

  “What about Ghaneth?” Kyr waves his hand in Ghaneth’s direction. “I’m sure he’s not very happy about the whole thing.”

  Kyr is obviously still smarting from being rejected by Serim. It’s common knowledge that Ghaneth has asked her to be his partner for his Choosing ceremony, and that she’s accepted. Jerath explained everything that happened between him and Serim, and Ghaneth understands. The fact that Jerath is now bonded to Meren probably helps.

  “I can speak for myself, Kyr.” Ghaneth steps back a little, tugging Serim under his arm, and Jerath grins at the scowl on Kyr’s face. “I have no problem with it.”

  Torek turns back to look at them and raises an eyebrow at Jerath. He nods in Kyr’s direction and Jerath just shrugs, not sure he can even explain why Kyr acts the way he does. Torek and Caleb slow their pace so that they fall in line next to Jerath and force Kyr out to the side. Kyr grumbles under his breath, but grudgingly moves over.

  “Meren seems to be doing much better now,” Torek says. He nudges Jerath with his shoulder and Jerath grins back at him. He misses Meren already, the ache in his chest a constant reminder of the distance between them, but it’s good to have Torek along for the journey. Someone he can to talk to about Meren.

  “Yes, the healers say he should be fully recovered in less than two weeks from now.” Jerath can’t wait. He hates seeing Meren in pain and unable to move around properly.

  “I imagine having his mate with him will help with that.” Torek smiles and reaches out and grips Jerath’s shoulder. “I’m glad the two of you worked things out. You’re good for him, Jerath.” Someone shouts Torek’s name from up ahead, so he makes his apologies and leaves to go see what the problem is.

  Jerath is still smiling to himself when
Kyr calls his name. Serim has just asked Caleb a question, and Caleb shoots Jerath a look of apology as he ducks around him to talk to her, leaving Jerath next to Kyr. There’s no ignoring him now, so Jerath sighs and turns to face him. “What?”

  “It’s true, then?” He edges closer, and Jerath sees the smirk on his lips. “I thought it was just a rumor, but you really have mated with a man. I always knew there was something wrong with you.”

  Jerath tenses, his hands clenching into fists at his side. But Kyr is on a roll.

  “Clearly Serim wasn’t enough to keep you interested in gi—” It’s as far as he gets before Jerath has heard enough. He draws back his fist and drives it home, connecting perfectly with the side of Kyr’s jaw and knocking him on his ass.

  Jerath leans over him and hisses through clenched teeth, barely keeping his anger in check. “There’s nothing wrong with me, Kyr. Meren is my mate, and I love him.” He stands up straight and tries to calm down. “And what Serim and I shared was a sacred and beautiful rite in the eyes of the Goddess. Do you really dare speak of it like that?”

  Kyr is about to open his mouth, but Ghaneth and Caleb are there, gently pushing Jerath over toward Serim. “We’ve got this.” Caleb grins and ushers Jerath away, while he and Ghaneth haul Kyr up and manhandle him a few feet away. Jerath sees them both whispering to him for several minutes before letting him go and walking back over to him and Serim.

  “What did you say to him?” Jerath looks between the two of them as they smirk at each other.

  “We just explained to him that if he wasn’t careful, we’d make sure none of the girls in Eladir or either of the other villages would agree to be his partner for the Choosing. And no one wants the elders to have to choose for them.”

  Serim laughs and mutters something about pitying the poor girl who ends up getting that dubious honor, because in the end someone will have to do it, whether Kyr is Unchosen or not. Jerath just smiles his thanks and rubs at his sore knuckles.

  Kyr has nothing more to say after that and falls into a sullen silence. Jerath had hoped this whole experience might have changed him for the better. When they first got back to Meren’s village, Kyr had been quiet and kept to himself, but the closer they get to Eladir, the more the old Kyr seems to surface. Jerath isn’t the least bit surprised none of the girls present will agree to be Kyr’s partner for the Choosing.

  It takes them four days to get back home. Jerath and Serim seize the opportunity to ask about the raid on their village.

  “Why did they take you?” Serim asks. She looks up at Ghaneth as he sighs heavily.

  “They wanted to sell us.” He shudders a little and Serim hugs him tighter. “They knew to look for tattoos, and only took the older boys who didn’t have them.”

  “So they thought those who hadn’t changed yet were easy targets?” Jerath says, and Ghaneth shrugs.

  “Yeah, I guess. But they didn’t know about the Choosing ritual. They thought that shifters would get the ability to change forms when they came of age. They knew it had something to do with the full moon, and kept those with fangs under heavy guard during it. They planned to sell us each separately before the next one.”

  “Who to?” Serim asks.

  “I’m not sure exactly, but apparently, shifter slaves would fetch a nice price further south. They have special collars to prevent the shift and only allow it for their entertainment. The raiders were very forthcoming with that bit of information.”

  Jerath shudders. He doesn’t really know anything about the villages south of Kalesaan. Before Ghaneth mentioned it, he hadn’t known they even existed.

  “Thank the Goddess we got to you before they found out the truth.” Serim sighs in relief, and Jerath knows just how she feels.

  Everyone falls silent for a few moments. Jerath can imagine what would have happened. If the raiders discovered that their prisoners would never be able to shift and were therefore useless to them, they would probably have killed them all.

  “When they attacked the village, why didn’t the shifters change form and attack?” Jerath asks. It has been bothering him the whole journey. If everyone had shifted into their animal forms, surely they could have overpowered them?

  It’s Ghaneth who answers again. “They took everyone by surprise, Jerath.” He looks a little guilty. “They grabbed seven of the children before anyone even noticed them and they threatened to kill them if we didn’t go quietly.” Jerath feels a little sick at the thought. “There was nothing we could do.”

  Jerath nods and doesn’t comment further. Children are precious. No one in his village would do anything to put their lives in danger. He thinks about the raiders who died during the rescue and doesn’t feel an ounce of remorse.

  THERE are shouts and cries of disbelief from the people of Jerath’s village as they finally break through the forest and reach Eladir. Word spreads fast, and soon the travel-weary group is surrounded by family and friends, all frantically searching for their loved ones. Torek and his men tactfully move off to one side and watch the reunions with soft smiles.

  Jerath sees the families of the few who lost their lives. He feels their desperation and sorrow when they discover they have a body to claim and bury, instead of the warm hug they were hoping for. There are thankfully only three who died, but it’s three too many, and Jerath sends a prayer to the Goddess asking her to take good care of them.

  “Jerath! Oh, my boy!” Helan’s voice is loud and clear as she barrels toward him and wraps him up in a fierce hug. “I can’t believe you’re back!” She sobs into his chest, so Jerath pulls her tightly against him and kisses the top of her head. He closes his eyes and breathes in her scent, lets it wash over him and soothe his tiredness away.

  The trek back to Eladir seemed to take forever. Everyone had been eager to get home, and each time they stopped to eat or camp for the night, Jerath felt the restlessness getting worse. But they’re here now, and Jerath holds his mother until her tears finally subside. His heart aches with the knowledge that he’s going to leave her again soon, but he already misses Meren desperately and he knows without a shadow of a doubt that he can’t stay.

  “I’m okay,” he says when she takes a shuddering breath. “I promise.” He pushes thoughts of leaving to the side for now and instead smiles at her when she looks up.

  “You have fangs!” she gasps, and her fingers flutter around his mouth as though she wants to touch them and check that they’re real. “When did this happen?” She sniffles again and Jerath reaches out and wipes a stray tear from her eye.

  “Come on, let me introduce you to a friend of mine and I’ll tell you all about it.”

  Jerath takes his mother by the hand and leads her over to where Torek is talking quietly with his men. “Torek, this is my mother, Helan.”

  Torek smiles over Helan’s shoulder when she wraps her arms around him and thanks him for bringing her son back to her. Jerath rolls his eyes and laughs, but he loves the way his mother so readily accepts Torek. She immediately invites him back to their house for something to eat and drink, and Torek tells her he would be honored. The rest of Torek’s men are being well taken care of by the village elders, so Helan leads the way back to their home.

  Jerath slumps down into one of the kitchen chairs almost as soon as they get through the door. He’s so tired and lets out a long sigh as he stretches out his legs under the table. Torek sits opposite him and does the same. Helan quickly rustles up a selection of meat, cheese, and fruit and laughs softly as both Jerath and Torek tuck in straightaway.

  “Food was limited on the journey here,” Jerath mumbles by way of explanation.

  Helan allows them to eat their fill, then settles her elbows on the table and rests her chin on her hands. “Now, Jerath.” She reaches up to ruffle his hair and he ducks away, blushing slightly. “Now that you’re fed and watered, I want you to tell me everything.”

  So Jerath does. He starts at the beginning with his and Serim’s fishing trip, which seems a lifetime
ago now. He explains what happened when his fangs came in, how he and Serim found the perfect place to perform the ritual. He skims over the details, blushing profusely, and aims a kick at Torek under the table when he grins at him.

  “You were right about everything, though,” Jerath says as Helan wipes away more tears. “It was perfect, nothing to worry about.”

  She smiles at him and grasps his hand tightly in hers. “I knew it would be. Serim was the perfect choice for you.” Jerath blushes again.

  “Can I see it?” she asks. Jerath nods, then stands up and pulls off his shirt.

  “Oh, Jerath!”

  He glances back over his shoulder to see his mother looking at his tattoo with wide eyes.

  “It’s beautiful.” She’s smiling hugely now and Jerath grins back at her. “I know it’ll be difficult to find your match here in Eladir, but there are some very nice boys over in Westril who have jaguars as their animal, and their elders aren’t quite as rigid in their beliefs as ours. If you want to….” She falls silent as Torek coughs.

  Jerath shrugs his shirt back on and turns to face her.

  “What is it, Jerath?”

  He catches hold of her hand again and gently sits her back down at the table. “I’ve met my mate,” he says, and just the very mention of it makes Jerath’s chest hurt. He rubs at it absently with the palm of his hand and sighs.

  “Who?” Helan looks accusingly at Torek as she asks the question.

  “No, it’s not Torek.” His mother relaxes, and Jerath knows she’s relieved because now she thinks it’s someone from their village. “His name is Meren. He’s the son of the chief.”

  Jerath watches her face fall again.

  “Are you sure about this, Jerath?” She clutches his hand tightly. “Once the bond is complete, one of you will have to leave their village. You do understand this?”

  Jerath looks down at the table, suddenly unable to meet her eyes. Torek takes the lull in conversation as an opportunity to make his excuses and leave. He thanks Helan for her generous hospitality but tells her he needs to go and check on his men. He shoots an encouraging look over at Jerath and then disappears quietly through the door.