Rock Hard: BAD Alpha Dads

by Abbie Zanders

“You hired me to be your personal security, didn’t you? Why bother paying me if you’re just going to go off on your own like that?”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “You’re Rex Løve. Your whole life is complicated.”

  True enough. “No one recognized me.”

  “But what if they had?”

  “Then I would have called you.” Rex was about to point out that Chuck had abandoned his post earlier that day, but since he had a strong suspicion that Chuck’s absence had something to do with Alice, he refrained. Besides, given what had happened, Rex was glad no one else had been around at the time to witness his response.

  The suite was empty when they got there, which was probably for the best. If Alice had been around, she would probably want to talk about what had happened, and he didn’t have time for that. He had a charter waiting. Rushing off this morning was bad enough. Taking off again would be even worse. Even he knew that much.

  “I’m going to grab a quick shower,” he told Chuck. “Find Carly and tell her to get packed. We’ve got a plane to catch.”

  Rex emerged thirty minutes later, displeased to find neither Chuck nor Carly ready and waiting. He texted the rhino, and paced the suite, growing more impatient with each passing tick of the clock. What was the hold up? Was Alice running interference, giving Chuck a hard time about taking Carly back?

  When Chuck returned a short time later, alone, Rex was really unhappy.

  “Where the fuck is she, Chuck? Couldn’t you find her?”

  To his credit, the rhino shifter met his gaze head-on. “I found her.”

  “Then, why isn’t she with you?”

  “She isn’t coming.”

  “Excuse me?”

  Chuck crossed his arms over his barrel-shaped chest. “I said, she isn’t coming. Said I’d have to carry her out kicking and screaming to get her to go anywhere, and I’m not going to do that.”

  Rex stared at him in disbelief, though that sounded exactly like something Carly would say ... and do. He might have even been a little proud if he wasn’t so pissed off.

  “Find Alice. She’s the only one who can talk sense into Carly when she’s like this.”

  “Alice is gone, boss.”

  “What do you mean, she’s gone?”

  “I mean, she’s gone, as in, checked out and left.”

  Rex stormed into the room Alice and Carly had been sharing. Only Carly’s stuff remained. Then he went into the other bedroom, knowing what he would find. Sure enough, the panther’s stuff was gone, too.

  Burning rage, hot and consuming, flared up within him. How could Alice have left with another male after that kiss?

  You did, his lion huffed.

  I went to a bar! Alone!

  Images came to the forefront of his mind, unwelcomed and unbidden. A series of memories ... nameless faces, pawing him, propositioning him ... and he had let them, if only to get Alice’s attention ...

  The familiar rationalizations felt hollow, empty. Rex couldn’t blame Alice for his behavior, not anymore. Not now that he knew the truth.

  A new, horrifying possibility occurred to him. He had just figured out what Alice was to him, but what if Alice had already known? What if her lioness had recognized him as her mate a long time ago?

  Rex sank down into the closest chair, his stomach roiling. If the thought of Alice leaving with that panther did this to him, what must she have gone through every time he had brought someone back to the room ...? Or the tour bus ...? Or the hallway backstage ...? Even if things hadn’t happened, he’d allowed them to look as if they had.

  Chuck’s deep, raspy voice cut into his thoughts. “Rex? What do you want to do?”

  It took him a moment to bring his mind back to the situation at hand. A brief glance at the clock on the wall confirmed what he already knew—that unless they left in the next five minutes, they weren’t going to make the flight. And, short of doing what Carly had threatened and tossing her over his shoulder, they weren’t leaving within the next five minutes.

  “Call the pilot and tell him we need a later flight.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  It wasn’t hard to find Carly. She was exactly where he would have gone when he was her age—in the far recesses of the resort’s gardens, away from the people and the noise. She was barely visible, stretched out in the grass as she was, staring up at the star-filled sky.

  He had come out to talk some sense into her, to demand she get her ass in gear because they had a plane to catch, but something stopped him. Maybe it was the look on her face as she gazed upward that gave him pause. She looked so young, so vulnerable. He wasn’t used to seeing her that way; far more accustomed to her scowl. Even when she had first arrived, she had been filled with attitude. Sulky and sullen with a huge chip on her shoulder. She hadn’t talked to anyone except Alice. She’d taken to Alice right away. Just like he had.

  At the time, he had been glad for Alice handling all that. He was on top, loving life, making music and living the dream. What did he know about raising cubs?

  Looking at Carly now, he wondered if maybe he had done them both a disservice by leaving everything to Alice.

  Carly wasn’t that same defensive, spitting cub anymore. Oh, she still had the attitude, but she was a young woman now. When the hell had that happened? Years had passed, and he still didn’t have a clue.

  He didn’t know if she had experienced her first shift yet, or even if she could shift. She was only half him, after all. His genes should have been predominant, but there was still a chance she favored her human mother.

  “I’m not going back.” Her soft voice carried on the warm breeze, her golden eyes now fixed on him.

  He stalked over and stretched out on the ground beside her. He didn’t have a clue what he was doing, but it felt right to do so.

  “Why not?”

  She seemed surprised by his question. Hell, he was kind of surprised, too. They should be hauling ass to the airport, not lounging in a patch of grass as if he had nothing better to do and nowhere else to be.

  “Because this is important to me, Dad.”

  “But, why?” he asked, genuinely curious.

  She exhaled heavily. “I don’t know. Why is music important to you?”

  No one had ever asked him that before. Music had always been a huge part of who he was. He never questioned it.

  “I don’t know. It just is.”

  “Exactly. It just is. I love science, Dad. It’s my thing. And being here, being recognized for that ... well, it feels good.” She paused and turned her gaze back to the sky. “Kinda like I imagine you feel when you’re up on stage and people are recognizing you for what you’re good at.”

  He had never thought about it that way. School, books, science—those kinds of things had never interested him, so he had a hard time seeing the appeal, but the music analogy did make sense.

  “It means that much to you?”

  “Well, duh. Why else would I come all the way out here?”

  “Still, you shouldn’t have gone off like that, Carly.”

  She snarled, the sound definitely leonine. “I figured I’d be back before you noticed.”

  The saddest part of that statement was that she was right. He probably wouldn’t have noticed if he hadn’t come in and found Alice so upset.

  “What if something had happened?”

  She didn’t miss a beat. “You say it like that would be a bad thing.”

  Stunned, he turned to face her. “It would be.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  “You don’t really believe that, do you?”

  “Come on, Dad. We both know you’d be a lot happier without me around.”

  “I don’t know that.”

  “Whatever.” In a smooth, feline move, she got to her feet. “Are we done? Don’t you have a plane to catch or something?”

  Yeah, he did. It would be tight, but he could get there in time to play the last set. Or ... he could say screw the Rochester imp
rov and stay here. Styxx and the guys would be pissed, but they would get over it. His lion was telling him that his daughter needed him a whole lot more than they did. Maybe it was time he started listening to it.

  “You know what? Fuck it.”

  Carly stilled, narrowing her eyes his way. “Fuck what, exactly?”

  “Language,” he cautioned, getting to his feet. Now that he had made his decision, his fledgling parental instincts were kicking in. “The band can go on without me. I’m staying here with you, and then we’ll both fly back together after your big thing.” He ignored her shocked stare and started walking back toward the resort. “I’m starved. Know any place around here that serves gazelle?”

  Rex smiled to himself when he heard her fall into step behind him. Maybe this parenting thing wasn’t so bad after all. Now, if he could only figure out what to do about Alice.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Alice pushed the meat around on her plate. The in-flight meal was excellently prepared yet completely unappetizing. When the attendant came by, she gave up and asked her to take it away.

  Had she done the right thing in leaving Carly to face Rex on her own? She hadn’t had a chance to talk to Rex about Carly’s solo trek to the STEM finals, so she didn’t really know where his head was at concerning that ... or anything else for that matter.

  Finding him asleep in the suite this morning had been unexpected. Alice had thought her text telling him that Carly was safe would have eased his mind enough for him to go on with his own business. Apparently not. Never in a million years would she have expected that, one, Rex would put forth the effort to figure out where they were, and two, that he would drop everything to fly out in the middle of the night. Such atypical behavior fell well outside the realm of Rex’s usual self-centered bubble.

  Well, that wasn’t exactly true. When Rex first learned that Carly was his daughter, he blew off a photo shoot and flew out personally to pick her up, so there was some precedent there. As his personal assistant, Alice had gone with him then. In those days, Rex had demanded that she always be by his side.

  Rex’s current PA hadn’t accompanied him to Phoenix, though, and Alice couldn’t help wondering why. In relaying the events of that night in Chicago, Chuck had implied that Rex was angry with the woman for not informing him that Carly was missing. Was there trouble in that little corner of paradise? Or had he left her behind to see to things until he could return?

  Not that it mattered. Whatever the reason, Alice was glad for it. The last thing she needed was another confrontation with that bitch tigress.

  Her inner lioness growled at the thought of the other woman, and Alice went back to pondering Rex’s motivation for flying out to the conference. The fact that he had come himself instead of sending someone else meant something; she just wasn’t sure what. Best case scenario: Carly’s disappearance had shaken him up enough for him to realize that being a father meant more than simply financial support. Worst case scenario: Rex’s alpha male pride had taken a hit, and he needed to make an example of Carly’s blatant disobedience.

  She certainly hoped it was the former—that Rex had been thinking more about what was good for his daughter than what benefitted him.

  The North American National STEM finals were really important to Carly; important enough that she had felt compelled to do whatever it took to get there ... which begged another question. Now that he was there, would Rex stick around for the big awards presentation tomorrow, or would he demand that Carly go back with him? Not knowing was driving her nuts.

  She had texted Carly from the airport to see how things were going, but she hadn’t received a reply before she was forced to board and switch to airplane mode.

  If she had stayed in Phoenix, she would know, she thought irritably. Maybe instead of running away to avoid dealing with Rex, which was basically what she had done, she should have just moved to another hotel or something. At least then she could have been there, running interference if necessary, cheering Carly on tomorrow ...

  “Stop feeling guilty, Alice.” Johnny’s voice cut into her thoughts.

  “What makes you think I’m feeling guilty?”

  “Because I know you. You made the right decision.”

  “Did I?” She blurted out the question, putting a voice to the uncertain thoughts that had been plaguing her from the moment they had walked out of that resort.

  Carly had been understanding when Alice had explained the situation. Not all the details, of course. However, there had been no mistaking the disappointment in the young girl’s eyes when Alice had told her she and Johnny were flying out.

  “Tomorrow is going to be a really big day for her! I should be there.” Alice shook her head. “My issues are with her father, not her.”

  Johnny exhaled heavily and looked away, a sure sign that he was holding back.

  “What?” she asked.

  “Nothing.”

  “I know you, too, remember? It’s not nothing. Tell me.”

  He shook his head. “You won’t like it.”

  “When has that ever stopped you?”

  “Fair enough.” He smiled briefly then grew serious again. “You need to let go, Alice. I know you care about Carly, but you’re not her mother. You walked away—don’t scowl at me like that. I know you had your reasons, but you did.”

  “Carly understands why I did what I did,” Alice said defensively. “She was the one who told me I should go.”

  “She’s fourteen, babe. I know she’s brilliant, but she’s still a kid. She doesn’t want to disappoint you, so she told you what she thought you wanted to hear. Do you really think she wanted you to leave?”

  Stunned, Alice opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

  “When you really care about someone, you say things you don’t mean simply because you want that person to be happy. Remember when we were kids and there was that couple that wanted to foster me? When I told you about it, you pretended to be happy for me. You told me I should go. But you didn’t mean it.”

  Alice nodded slowly. “I remember.”

  She and Johnny had been around Carly’s age at the time, maybe a little younger. By that point, they had accepted they weren’t going to be placed. Most people wanted the younger kids, the ones who didn’t already have attitudes. But that one couple had seen something in Johnny they really liked and had gone as far as having the paperwork drawn up. Alice had never felt more conflicted. She had wanted Johnny to be happy, but she hadn’t been able to bear the thought of spending the rest of her adolescent years in the group home without him. Luckily, it had never come to that.

  “They never came back for you.”

  “Yeah, they did, but I made sure they wouldn’t want me anymore.”

  Johnny’s bombshell rocked through her like an earthquake.

  “Oh, Johnny, what did you do?”

  “Doesn’t matter.” He shrugged as if it was no big deal. As if he hadn’t given up a chance at being part of a real family because of her. “I wasn’t going to leave you, Alice. You needed me.”

  Tears welled up in her eyes until they overflowed.

  Johnny put his arm around her and pulled her as close as the seats would allow. “Hush, now. I’d do it again a thousand times over. I wouldn’t give up those teenage years with you for anything.”

  Johnny was such a good person. So much better than her.

  “I’m no better than Rex. I cared more about myself than Carly.”

  “Not true.”

  “But you said—”

  “I was only trying to make a point. It’s not the same. You and I, we only had each other, but Carly has a father, Alice. He might not be father of the year, but he is her father, and they’ve got to work it out. You popping in and out of her life isn’t making that any easier for either of them.”

  “But I love her.”

  “I know you do.” Johnny kissed her forehead. “But you’ve got to make a choice, babe. Be there for her—really be there�
�or leave the parenting to someone who will.”

  “That’s a hell of a choice.” Alice sniffed. “You know why I can’t be there.”

  “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but ... maybe you should give Rex another chance.”

  “What?”

  “Look, you know I’m not the guy’s biggest fan, but based on what you’ve told me about what happened this morning, I think there’s a good chance you rocked Rex’s world.”

  She snorted, a wet, sniffly sound. “Yeah, right. He couldn’t run far or fast enough away from me.”

  “Exactly my point. What do you think would make an alpha male turn tail and run like that? I’ll tell you what I think. I think that, when you two kissed, some big light bulb went off in his fat lion head and he finally realized what you figured out a long time ago. That you are mates. And I think that scared the shit out of him.”

  Alice shook her head, not daring to hope. “I don’t know, Johnny.”

  “Just think about it, okay?”

  Think about it, he said. As if she had been doing anything else!

  So many times, she had imagined how things might play out if only she’d had the courage to tell Rex the truth. That she was a lion shifter, just like him, and more importantly, her lioness believed he was her mate.

  In her dreams, Rex admitted that he, too, believed they were mates and declared she was the only female for him from that point on.

  In her nightmares, Rex laughed at her for being a naïve fool and told her that he could never limit himself to one woman.

  Well, now at least part of the truth was out. Rex knew what she was, and something about that kiss had shaken him up. Did she dare hope that Johnny was right, and that Rex had felt that incredible connection between them, too?

  Beside her, Johnny closed his eyes and hummed softly. He made small movements with his fingers, tapping out the melody as it developed in his head.

  A picture flashed in her mind, a memory of a much younger man, sneaking into the church hall to play the old upright piano there. She would sneak in along with him and curl up in the corner in absolute awe.