She Will Rejoice

by Riker, Becky

  Rhoda was appeased, but Naomi could see her new sister was not. Still, Tessa allowed the subject to drop.

  The men joined them a short time later. They had been playing at billiards.

  “I suppose you have been bested by my brother again,” Tessa smiled up at her husband.

  “You are quite right on that score,” George chuckled at his niece’s comment, “but he was able to win both games against me, so I imagine he is not feeling too downtrodden.”

  Naomi tried not to look at her husband. Her heart always tugged toward him, and she would rather not feel that attraction.

  Finn took a seat not too near her, “It is, perhaps, not a good sign that I am a capable billiard player. It hints at too much time spent pursuing it.”

  “Maybe you need a new hobby, Finn,” his aunt suggested.

  He smiled at her, “What do you propose?”

  “Many gentlemen take up fencing,” Rhoda replied after a moment’s thought.

  “I have first-hand knowledge of your ability to fence,” Nicholas scoffed at that idea. “I do not think you need concern yourself about improving upon that.”

  “And you are a capable rider and hunter,” Tessa reminded unnecessarily. “It seems you have all the skills a gentleman should possess.”

  “Do you ride, Naomi?” George addressed her.

  She nodded, “I have in the past.”

  Tessa beamed, “Why then, you and Finn can ride together.”

  Finn turned to his wife, “I was not aware you were a horsewoman, Naomi.”

  “December is hardly the time to be out riding horse,” she reminded him, her tone barely civil.

  She saw the sorrow in his eyes, but she could not muster any regret for her tone. Rather, his reaction spurred her on. “And prior to our wedding, we scarcely had time to be in company together.”

  Tessa cleared her throat, “It must have been difficult to be apart for so long.”

  Naomi shook her head, “It was confusing.”

  Rhoda glanced between her nephew and his wife, “Confusing?”

  “I did not know what manner of man I was marrying, and, the day following my father’s announcement that he had agreed to Finn’s marriage proposal, I discovered my intended was leaving for a holiday.”

  Finn rose and strode across the room, ostensibly to kick some ashes from the hearth into the fireplace. Naomi could see his jaw clenching.

  The room was quiet for a moment. It felt to Naomi like an eternity, and she began to wish she had not made the last comment. She had wanted to hurt Finn like he hurt her, but she should not have done so in quite so public a setting.

  The maid’s entrance saved the party from further awkwardness, “Dinner is served, madam.”

  Tessa rose, forcing her husband and uncle to stand as well. She cast a glance at her brother, and Naomi thought she may have seen disappointment in it. Naomi closed her eyes. It had not been her intent to injure Tessa’s opinion of Finn.

  Finn was at her side when she looked up. He offered her his arm without looking at her face. She took it without looking at his.

  They were silent during the meal despite George and Rhoda’s attempts to draw them into conversation.

  The men left them after the meal, and Rhoda and Naomi retired to the drawing room while Tessa checked on her mother.

  “I am sorry your betrothed was called away during your engagement,” Rhoda sat directly opposite Naomi. “It was, I fear, unavoidable.”

  Naomi nodded, “He has said as much.”

  “And I believe he could not have fathomed how long it would take him to resolve the matter.”

  “He has told me this as well.”

  Rhoda sighed, “And, yet, you are still angry about it.”

  Naomi let her eyes drift to a far corner of the room, “I am not so angry about it, as a business matter.”

  “Then what?” Rhoda pushed.

  She turned and saw genuine concern in the other woman’s eyes, “I fear what he was doing that was not related to business, Aunt Rhoda.”

  Rhoda’s eyes widened as a gasp slipped from her lips.

  Naomi’s eyes filled with tears.

  “You surely do not believe he was . . .”

  Naomi dabbed at her lashes, “Please do not pretend to be unaware of your nephew’s reputation, Aunt Rhoda. It is well-known he gambles, drinks, and enjoys the company of ladies.”

  “Finn does not gamble,” Rhoda’s frown deepened, “and when have you ever known your husband to take a drink?”

  “Never,” she admitted, “but I had not known him to spend time with loose women until I saw it with my own eyes.”

  Naomi’s hand flew to cover her mouth. She had not meant to let that last part slip.

  Rhoda’s face paled by several shades, “What do you mean?”

  “Please,” the young lady rose, “please forget I said anything at all.”

  Rhoda rose and pulled Naomi to herself, “I cannot forget,” she stroked the auburn hair, “but it is I who am sorry.”

  Tessa came into the room to find her sister-in-law sobbing on Rhoda’s shoulder.

  “What has happened?” she led the pair back to the settee.

  Rhoda shook her head and continued to let Naomi cry, “Perhaps you could ask your husband to delay the men’s return just a bit.”

  Tessa hurried out to do as she was told.

  “My mother told me I must simply accept it,” Naomi spoke as she gained control, “but I did not want to accept such a thing. Finn seemed so. . .” she fluttered her hands about her in a helpless manner.

  Rhoda smiled in spite of herself, “So in love?”

  Naomi sat up straight and mopped up the worst of her tears, “Yes. I know how foolish that sounds.”

  “It is not foolish, my dear girl. It is to be expected. When you marry, whether it is for love or out of duty to your family, you expect your spouse to remain faithful.”

  Naomi shook her head, “I am beginning to see that is an unreasonable expectation. It seems every man strays.”

  “Not every man,” Tessa had returned to the room. “Some men take their vows seriously.”

  Naomi wondered if these women really had faithful husbands or if they were simply deluding themselves.

  “You doubt,” Rhoda chuckled, reading Naomi’s mind.

  Naomi shrugged.

  “Finn was not raised with a good example of fidelity,” Tessa explained. “It may be more difficult for him to grasp the concept.”

  Naomi’s temper flared, “It is a fairly simple concept. Should he be so thick-headed as to have difficulty comprehending it, I want nothing to do with him. I cannot bear loving him and knowing he is giving himself to others.”

  The other two shared a look of concern but said nothing.

  Two days later, Naomi found herself in her sitting room, wondering if the pain her chest was going to end her life.

  “I just think it will be better this way, Naomi,” Finn was ready to travel. “You are not happy with me, and it may be best for us to be apart for a time.”

  She forced her voice to remain calm, “And just how long is this separation to last?”

  “I do not know,” he didn’t look at her. “Maybe you will find yourself with child.”

  She rose and interrupted him, “And then you would never have to see me again?”

  He sighed, “I had not meant to say anything like that.”

  Naomi planted her hands on her hips, “I am not with child, Finn,” it pained her to admit it. “So, I am sorry to inform you that you will have to return at some point to correct that problem. It is, after all, your responsibility.”

  She saw Finn swallow hard, “It is no burden to me to have that responsibility, Naomi, but it seems it is a burden to you.”

  “Perhaps it would not seem a burden to me, if you were more selective in your choice of women.”

  His face exposed his anger, “I made one mistake, Naomi. How long will you punish me for that?”

 
She held up two fingers, “It was two mistakes, Mr. Haydn, and the second indiscretion was worse than the first.”

  He gritted his teeth.

  “I have reason to believe that the third will be more grievous than the second.”

  His voice rose to match hers, “Have you never erred?”

  “This is not about me!” Naomi spun around and left the parlor for her bed chamber, slamming the door on her way.

  She did not see him again before he left.

  Two days later, a knock sounded on her sitting room door. Without waiting for an answer, Diana entered.

  “He’s left you already,” she came in and dropped into a soft chair.

  Naomi had never seen her mother-in-law drunk, but she recognized that was what ailed the woman now.

  “I am certain he will return,” Naomi looked back at the book she was reading.

  Diana laughed, “He’ll come back to give you an heir, but you’ll never really have him. His love will always be the thrill of the chase. Whether it’s other women, the bottle, or some scheme to get more money, he’ll always love that more than you.”

  Naomi hated the truth in the woman’s words. She did not address those, however.

  “Finn does not drink,” she defended him. “Tessa told me he had seen too much of it while growing up.”

  Diana looked at the young woman, swaying a bit even in her chair, “Tessa talks too much.”

  “I have never known him to gamble either,” Naomi pondered the words as she spoke them.

  Diana laughed, but it was a raucous sound that seemed more fitting a tavern than a proper sitting room, “You’re right about that. Finn isn’t much of a gambler, but don’t think that means he’s got no vices.”

  Naomi watched Finn’s mother stumble from the room, feeling a shred of pity for her.

  Another week went by before she heard anything regarding her husband. This came from a most unpleasant source.

  “Mr. Haydn is back in custody,” one maid whispered to another as they stood outside the dining room. “If his uncle doesn’t bail him out again, he may end up in debtor’s prison.”

  Naomi bit back a gasp and hurried from the passageway. She did not want the servants to know she had overheard them.

  She found her place in the music room at the piano. While she played, she contemplated what she had heard.

  How could Finn be in such a serious situation? He had certainly given her ample pin money, and he had spent without hesitation while they were on the island. Was it all a ruse? The servants did not seem to be upset about missing their pay, and nothing was neglected on the grounds. It did not make sense to her, but she had little experience with money matters.

  “My brother told me you played like a master, but I believed him to be biased,” Tessa came into the music room unannounced.

  Naomi looked up, “When did you arrive?”

  “I stood in the passage, not wishing to disturb your playing.”

  “It is no disruption,” she rose and greeted her husband’s sister. “I am glad to see you.”

  They sat down, and Tessa came immediately to the point of her visit.

  “When will Finn return?”

  Naomi shook her head, “I do not know. Perhaps, he wishes to remain in London forever.”

  “Naomi,” Tessa gripped her hands, “I love you like the sister of my own flesh. You are spirited and full of energy, and you have a wonderful mind.”

  Naomi sensed the praise was about to turn on her.

  “But you have no concept of what is important in life.”

  Naomi frowned.

  “Our marriages are not meant to be drudgery, Naomi. We are meant to enjoy each other.”

  Naomi pulled her hands away, “Clearly, your brother wants to enjoy other women as well.”

  “Our husbands are never going to be perfect.”

  “So you believe they have the right to find outside sources of entertainment?”

  Tessa stood up and blocked Naomi from leaving, “I do not. I believe they are meant to be faithful and that they are capable of doing so.”

  Naomi was confused.

  “Only God is perfect,” Tessa spoke softly. “And Finn is not God. He’s going to make mistakes, but you need to forgive him.”

  “Forgive his. . .adultery?”

  Tessa led her sister back to the chair, “I do not know the details of what happened, and my husband refuses to share them with me, but I could see the pain on Finn’s face when he watched you.”

  Naomi said nothing.

  “And when you spoke to him with disrespect.”

  Naomi’s head shot up, “If he is searching for respect, he ought to take care to behave in a respectable manner.”

  Tessa shook her head, “You can wait around for that to happen, and watch your marriage crumble further, or you can follow my advice and see a progressive change.”

  Naomi shook her head, “I don’t think I can do that.”

  “Not on your own,” Tessa agreed, “but if you turn to God, He will help you.”

  “Is God your answer for everything?” she knew the question was rude.

  Tessa laughed, unoffended, “Yes. Yes He is my answer.”

  Naomi was so desperate for the answer – any answer – to her problems, that she was willing even to take religion into consideration.

  She sighed, “Perhaps you should start from the beginning.”

  “It is very simple, actually,” Tessa explained. “God created us to be like Him, but we chose sin. He wants to draw us back to Him, but we need to be clean.”

  Naomi remembered hearing this in a sermon once. God was too holy to be in the presence of sin.

  Tessa continued, “We can’t possibly pay for all our sins. They are too many.”

  “Jesus,” Naomi knew that was coming next.

  Tessa nodded.

  “So, I am to believe He has done this for me, and I will suddenly find myself able to forgive Finn and be the perfect wife.”

  “No,” Tessa surprised her by laughing loudly. “You are not going to be sinless, and you are still going to struggle.”

  “Then why bother?”

  “Because Jesus gives us hope – a hope that we will become more like Him as well as a hope for eternity.”

  Naomi knew she needed that hope even if nothing improved in her marriage. She said as much to Tessa.

  “You probably will need it more if things do not improve,” the other woman said in a wry tone.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Tessa left after a light dinner.

  “Nicholas is not pleased when I travel these days.”

  “I should think not,” Naomi hugged her. “You have mere weeks.”

  Tessa waved as she drove away.

  Naomi went to find Mrs. Hollingberry to review the next week’s menu.

  “Should you like a venison stew?” the older lady suggested in her typical helpful manner.

  “Is it a great deal of trouble?” Naomi hated to have the staff make elaborate meals when she was the only one eating them. Diana never came to the dining room and rarely ate more than broth and toast.

  The lady laughed, “It is not, but I do wish you would stop concerning yourself over such matters. I enjoy cooking.”

  “Well, then, I have not had a stew of any sort for a long time. My mother used to order it regularly, but my father did not enjoy it.”

  Mrs. Hollingberry chuckled, “And you would like to have chicken with a mustard sauce one night?”

  Naomi smiled. She had requested it once a week since the cook had prepared it first. It was her favorite meal.

  “Perhaps,” Mrs. Hollingberry suggested, “you might choose a lamb tagine one evening.”

  Naomi did not care for lamb, but she did not tell the woman that.

  “I have never had it. What is it?”

  “It is like to a stew, missus, but a little more cream.”

  Naomi was considering what to say when Mrs. Hollingberry spoke up again, “It is the
older Mrs. Haydn’s favorite.”

  Naomi knew the cook was concerned about Mrs. Haydn’s scant appetite.

  “Certainly,” Naomi agreed quickly.

  Mrs. Hollingberry looked relieved.

  “And if you think of any other foods that might entice her, please add them to our menu.”

  The cook blushed a little.

  “What is it?” the young mistress pressed.

  “She is fond of sanguinaccio.”

  Naomi laughed aloud, “That sounds like a foreign country rather than a meal.”

  “It is neither,” Mrs. Hollingberry chuckled. “It is a dessert made of chocolate and eggs.”

  “Please prepare that at your leisure.”

  Mrs. Hollingberry left then, but Naomi remained in her chair, thinking about her husband’s mother.

  There was no doubt the woman had a problem. She never made it through the day without the aid of liquor. The type of drink she chose varied, but it usually included gin and sherry. What a despondent life she must lead, drinking all afternoon and evening only to be sick from it in the mornings.

  Naomi rose and went to gather a cloak for her daily walk. There was nothing she could do to help the woman. Diana Haydn was determined to live her life in a drunken and bitter state.

  It did not occur to Naomi to ask Mrs. Hollingberry again about the meals until a few weeks after the discussion.

  “Did Mrs. Haydn enjoy the lamb you made?”

  The cook smiled, “She said she weren’t going to have any, but I sent it anyways. She complained a lot to the maid, but she ate it all.”

  Naomi grinned, “And the dessert?”

  Mrs. Hollingberry shook her head, “She said there was too much cream in it, and she sent it back.”

  Naomi felt a flash of irritation, “I thought it was delicious.”

  “So you said,” the older lady smiled.

  “I think we could have the lamb again, since she liked it so much,” Naomi suggested.

  “But you hardly ate a bite. I thought you must not care for it.”

  Naomi hoped she had missed that, “Lamb is not my favorite food, but we should have it on occasion.”

  Mrs. Hollingberry shook her head, “The missus asked for maple salmon.”

  “And you are able to find what you need for this?”