Love Always,

by Sonya Loveday

  She was giving me an excuse—a reason to be able to back out and tell them thank you, but no thank you. And that stirred something up in me. I liked seeing the surprise in Maggie’s eyes. Liked that she couldn’t pin me down with all the rest she had met at the resort. Which is exactly why I brushed off the thought of what Mother would think if she found out and said, “Sounds like fun.”

  I wasn’t sure who was more surprised. Her or me.

  Maggie looked up at me with mixed expressions. The shimmer of her eyes and curve of her lips made me think she was happy I’d said yes. But the quirk of her eyebrow and tilt of her head silently asked me if I’d lost my mind. And maybe I had. But one night of fun versus going back to my room and being found by either Mother or Sophia was the very last thing I wanted.

  “I’m game if you are, Hoops,” I said, winking at her.

  I’D ALWAYS FELT ALIVE AT night.

  The lack of light was thrilling… almost freeing in a way. You could be who you wanted to be at night. Be the other side of yourself that has no place in a well-mannered world. Wild. Reckless. Uninhibited.

  You could share your secrets with the stars, knowing they’d never tell.

  Like the fact that I was thoroughly surprised by Phillip Warrington. And maybe… just maybe… a little intrigued. He was handsome in the way you’d expect from a well-bred family. Fresh-faced, with perfectly combed and parted dark brown hair. Squared cheekbones that sloped down to full lips. Large, round brown eyes.

  And a body I was sure he’d put years of work into.

  But there was more to him than that. More that I wasn’t sure even he knew about. It was obvious in the way he looked at me… like I was the kid on the other side of the fence he wished he could play with. Obvious in how he fought every urge to deny the invitation to the bonfire.

  He was only just beginning to taste his freedom, and freedom, once tasted, was an addiction you couldn’t ever overcome.

  When the dance ended, after the cleaning detail came in and started tearing down the decorations, Hannah and I changed and gathered our things from the locker room. I half-expected Phillip to have taken off in between that time, but when we walked out, he was still standing there, waiting for us with a mild look of nervousness in his gaze.

  “You sure you’re up for this?” I asked him as we headed out the main entrance. “No one will blame you if you decide to head back to your room. Hanging out with me is technically ‘breaking the rules,’ and I’d hate to be the reason your clean streak was broken.”

  Okay, that was a total lie. Corrupting someone and bringing them to the dark side was high on my list of things that entertained me.

  “I’m good,” he said, hiding his opposition well.

  “Good,” I replied, resting my hand momentarily against his chest as my smile grew by the second. “Follow me then.”

  I turned back for the locker room.

  “Aren’t you… aren’t you going the wrong way?” he asked, speeding up to catch up with me. “The door is the other way.”

  “With Maggie, there’s never a wrong way,” Hannah said, following my footsteps.

  “Tell me, Phillip. Do you like fancy things?” I asked, smirking as I pushed the door to the locker room open.

  “Sure. Most do,” he replied.

  “And do you like keeping your fancy things nice?”

  “Well, yeah. Of course.”

  I opened the costume trunk and dug out a pair of Wranglers and a red gingham shirt used for the western-themed dance, shoving them against his chest. “Put these on.”

  He looked down at them, eyebrows furrowed.

  “I can give you the chaps that go along with them if you’d like?” I added, stifling back a laugh.

  “You’ve lost me,” he admitted, looking back up at me with such innocent, naive eyes.

  I pointed to his clothes. “What is that… Gucci?”

  “Armani, actually,” he said, mirroring me by looking down at himself, though not in a smug manner.

  I rolled my eyes anyway. “Right. Well. I’m sure you’d like to keep your Armani nice and neat, so unless you want to be left behind, put those on so we can go.”

  Hannah moved behind me and picked the chaps up out of the trunk. She held them up in front of him, closing one eye as if she was imagining him in them.

  “You know what really chaps my ass, Phillip?” she asked, laughing when his face turned the color of bright beets.

  He tripped over his own response, mouth opening and closing.

  “Bathrooms over there,” I said, pointing behind him, trying not to laugh too hard. The moment the door closed behind him, a snort jolted out of me. Turning around, I pushed Hannah in the shoulder. “You just had to, didn’t you?” I asked, holding my stomach to brace the laughter.

  “Couldn’t help it. He’s such an easy target,” she said with a shrug.

  I looked over at the door he was behind, wondering why he hadn’t walked away from us yet. We were crazy. Probably even clinically nuts. And yet, he was still there… taking everything we dished out.

  A small smile hitched at the corner of my mouth.

  A couple minutes later, he came out with his clothes neatly folded over his arm, looking like a lost and confused, freshly shaved lumberjack.

  “Where should I put these?” he asked.

  I opened my locker and slid the clothes inside, noticing the silky feel of the slacks. When finished, I turned back to find him running his hands down the front of his overly-large shirt, wearing an odd smile.

  “I think he’s in love,” Hannah said through the side of her mouth as she leaned into me, shimmying her shoulders in approval.

  I think I’m in lust, I thought to myself, looking him up and down. The way the jeans hugged his sculpted thighs. Or how being out of dress clothes and into something a little more average made him seem more approachable, relatable. Maybe even worth trying to get to know a little better.

  I quickly shook the thought off. “You ready, Silver Spoon?”

  He looked up at me, and the small grin he wore pulled at something inside of me. Something like my heart.

  “I guess so, Hoops,” he answered with a light shrug.

  I walked past him, directing us toward the exit.

  “Are we taking your Jeep?” Hannah asked as we strolled out of the building and rounded the corner to the parking lot.

  “I’ve got a better idea,” I said, feeling a bit of mischief growing within me. The moon was calling to me. “Phillip?”

  “Hmm?” he said, hands tucked in his jeans.

  “Do you like speed?”

  “Can’t say I’m opposed to it,” he said with a small shrug.

  My smile grew wide.

  WE TOOK A DUNE BUGGY from the resort down to the stretch of beach we used for our bonfire shenanigans. It was a twenty-minute ride to and from, and I opted to drive since I knew Hannah would be drinking more than her share of alcohol.

  And because my foot was itching to press against metal.

  It was fun watching Phillip hang on to the ‘oh-shit’ handle of the buggy as I sped over the sandy dunes. Hannah hooted with laughter as she bounced along the backseat like a freshly popped kernel.

  “You want to drive?” I shouted over the wind.

  “What?” he shouted back, his other hand clutching the edge of his seat.

  “I said… do you want to drive?” I shouted, louder this time.

  There was that look again. Confusion. Like he didn’t understand any question that involved what his opinions, wants, or needs were.

  The wind carried my laughter as I reached over and gripped his hand. “Relax, Phillip.”

  “I’m relaxed,” he assured.

  I lifted a brow at him before turning back to the wheel, not letting go of his hand. Once I knew we were clear of any major catastrophes, I lifted his hand and pulled it over, placing it on the wheel.

  “What are you doing?” he asked, immediately jerking his hand back.

 
“What does it look like I’m doing?” I replied, reaching for his hand again. He resisted at first, but then he gave in and gripped the wheel.

  After a moment went by, he let go of the metal bar and put his other hand on the wheel, a slow smile forming on his mouth.

  My smile matched his.

  “Switch with me,” I said.

  “What?”

  I let my foot off the gas. Giggled when his smile vanished beneath a look of uncertainty. “Just go with the flow,” I said as I climbed up out of my seat, instructing him to do the same, and stepped over into the passenger seat.

  It was fun being this close to him, watching his natural urge to hesitate slowly being conquered by his inner need to be free.

  By the time he was in the driver’s seat and breathing normally again, we had severely slowed.

  He looked over at me a couple of times, his smile steadily growing and, before I knew it, his foot was slammed against the gas and Hannah and I were screaming out into the night like wildlings as sand shot out from under the tires.

  AS WE SAT UNDER A diluted mess of stars, the world felt so infinite. So much bigger than it seemed during the day. It was endless. Forever changing, just like us.

  “Pass me a beer,” Charlie said from across the fire. He was reclined in his beach chair, his legs stretched out and his feet crossed in front of the fire. His other two friends, Ronny and Caleb, sat on either side of him, propped up on logs. Hannah was next to me, Phillip on the other side, and a couple of girls who I’d seen hanging around Charlie before were on the other side of him.

  Opening the lid to the cooler, I plunged my hand through the ice and grabbed a beer from the bottom. Hannah stretched her hand out to me, taking it and handing it to Charlie.

  “Thanks,” he said, twisting the cap off using the skin of his forearm. “Want one?” he asked, looking to Phillip.

  I watched Phillip’s every expression, wondering what his answer would be. So far, I had been more wrong than right about him. Sure, he was shackled to his upbringing, but anyone could have guessed that.

  What I hadn’t guessed was that he was more than his upbringing. And I could say with total honesty that it was the first time I had ever been wrong about someone. Pegging people was my thing.

  But not him.

  Phillip, sitting uncomfortably straight in his chair, answered quicker than I thought he would. “Absolutely.”

  Smiles passed around the fire as I reached in and grabbed him a cold one. We knew that look in his eyes. The look someone took when tasting freedom for the first time. When wanting to taste every bit of experience one night could bring.

  There was a fever in his gaze, and I couldn’t help but feel a stir of excitement rattling my bones.

  “Do you guys come here often?” Phillip asked as soon as he twisted the lid off his beer.

  “At least once a week,” Charlie said before tilting his beer back against his lips. “My dad runs the repair shop for the resort’s Jet Skis, and I work the rental booth, which means we have free access to this lovely patch of sand.”

  The two girls with Charlie giggled.

  “It’s a nice beach,” Phillip said, looking around him. There were other kids our age huddled up in different groups all around us, some walking up and down the beach, and others just keeping to themselves.

  At least until Charlie decided to kick up the music in his truck and start a dance party. But that usually didn’t happen until we were all more than a few beers in.

  By the time I had moved onto my third beer, an hour had passed and everyone had fallen into a muddled ease. Even Phillip had relaxed, slinking back into his chair right around the time he asked for beer number three.

  Charlie tossed back the rest of his fourth beer and asked for two more. He was going for a record tonight.

  “Why don’t you just keep the cooler by you?” I asked, digging my hands through the ice again. My fingers felt like frozen popsicles by the time my hand wrapped around a can since we’d blown through the bottles he’d brought.

  “Because the beer tastes better when you’re handing them to me.”

  “Is that so?” I replied. A mischievous smirk crossed my lips. When he wasn’t looking, I shook his beers up and walked them over to him.

  He leaned back to look up at me, a grin eating up the whole of his face. “Finally decided to succumb to me?” he jokingly asked.

  “How can I resist?” I said, smiling as I cracked open the first beer, tilting it down at him, showering him in sudsy foam. He rolled out of his chair, curse words peppering the air as I cracked the second can and pointed it toward Hannah and Caleb.

  “Maggie!” Hannah shrieked as she jumped out of her seat, beer covering the front of her shirt.

  “Get up, you bunch of boring yuppies!” I shouted. “The night is young and the water’s warm!”

  Without words, they were up on their feet, laughing and shucking out of their clothes as they headed down toward the water. I turned back to the fire, tossing the beer cans back into the cooler, when Phillip caught my eye.

  He was standing up. Standing so still and so close to me that it made me draw in a sharp breath.

  “Is this the part where you tell me you have some kind of superpower that allows you to move from one spot to the next without notice?” I joked, wiping my sticky hands down the front of my jeans.

  There was a new look in his relaxed gaze. A look that made my heart somersault. A look of attraction and curiosity.

  “Are you going with them?” he asked, his heavy eyes drifting over my face, down to my lips where they stayed.

  I reflexively licked them, feeling the sun awaken beneath my skin. “Usually I do,” I replied, wondering why I suddenly felt like I had laid out in the sun all day. “How about you? Do you like to skinny dip?”

  “Can’t say that I’ve tried it yet,” he said, still watching me so intensely that it made my feet want to squirm.

  And my feet never squirmed.

  I pushed at his shoulder, trying to dispel the heat growing between us. “Well, there’s a first time for everything, right?” I didn’t wait for his response. I just grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head, dropping it to the sand below.

  Modesty was a seven-letter word I had yet to comprehend.

  I was thoroughly surprised when he didn’t look away. His gaze wasn’t even bashful like I’d assumed it would be when he roamed the length of my body, and it stirred something inside of me that had no business being stirred.

  “Come on,” I said, putting my best laugh forward. “You can’t skinny dip with your clothes on.”

  It was like my laugh woke him back up, because he smiled lazily, unbuttoned his shirt, and shrugged it from his shoulders, dropping it on top of mine.

  “That’s better,” I said, fiddling with the button on my jeans. It took me more time than it should have, because I couldn’t keep my eyes from his perfectly tanned, perfectly chiseled abs.

  I shimmied out of my jeans as quickly as I could, and then laughed when he nearly toppled over from his foot getting stuck in one of his pant legs. He grabbed onto my arms, using me to steady himself, and then we both laughed.

  “My apologies,” he said, his smile reaching from ear to ear as he clung to me.

  Why did I have to notice how good he smelled? Like sandalwood.

  “No worries,” I said, setting him straight on his feet. Dropping down, I held his pants while he stepped out of them, trying not to think too much about how close we were. “I’ve fallen way more than I’d care to admit to anyone.”

  “Come on, Maggie!” Hannah called. She was splashing and laughing as Charlie and the guys took turns shoving each other under the water.

  “Are we taking off our underwear now?” Phillip asked as soon as I stood back up. I had to admit, I was momentarily shocked by his question. But he quickly recovered by adding, “Or do we do it right before we get in the water?”

  I stared at him for a moment, enjoying the ne
w sensation of shock that he brought out in me. It wasn’t often that someone thoroughly surprised me. It was fun. Enlightening.

  Without answering him, I just smiled and then reached behind me, unclasping my bra and letting it fall onto the pile of clothes at my feet. A second later, I was out of my underwear, enjoying the feel of the breeze against my bare skin.

  “Last person in has to clean up around the fire pit!” I shouted, turning from his wide-eyed stare and racing for the water.

  Hannah and the others hooted, cheering me on as I ran the ten very long, very open feet to the water, wearing nothing but a smile. As soon as the water covered my thighs, I dove into a wave, reveling in the silence that followed as the water opened her arms and welcomed me in.

  Coming up for air, I joined in with everyone else as Phillip made the trip to the edge of the water, looking mildly unsure and overwhelmingly free.

  “Come on, Phillip!’ I shouted louder, feeling like my heart could burst for him as he made his way to where the sand dropped off at the ledge going down ten plus feet.

  There he was, that locked-away boy, finally stepping out from his golden cage. Realizing that an abyss stood between where he stood and where I floated in the water.

  An abyss much like the one between his world and mine.

  His eyebrows rose as a look of wonder crossed his face, coated with a sheen of moonlight that bathed his features in an ethereal light. He looked up at me, so clearly at me, and then, with an inhale, he stepped off the ledge, disappearing under the water.

  It was crazy. It was beautiful. It was exactly how life should be, because it was the act of letting go that awakened and fed our souls. It was stepping out from the shadow of our fears so we could finally taste sunlight. Giving in to our most simplest of needs.

  Every life should have a pocket full of priceless moments we could each lay out on a table to share with others when we were too old and too worn to do anything more.

  Phillip popped up next to me, dragging his hand down his face to wipe off some of the excess water. “So, this is skinny dipping then?” he asked, using his hands to tread. He looked relaxed in the water, as if he had finally found his home.