Love Always,

by Sonya Loveday

  “About that,” he said, using his hand to pat the seat next to him on the couch. “What exactly did happen last night?”

  I sat next to him, trying not to notice the way the blanket smelled like him. Like woody cologne.

  “You don’t remember?” I asked, glad for the distracting topic.

  He shook his head, and then winced from the movement, his fingers moving to his temples. “I remember dancing with you and then grabbing a beer, but after that, everything becomes a little foggy.”

  “So, you don’t remember the shots Hannah brought us? Or that you took two more after that? Or how you tried to climb onto the stage? Or how you—”

  He held his hand up as his face paled, and then turned a little green. “I-I did all of that?”

  I giggled, pulling my leg up to my chest. “Surprisingly, yes. You’re way more fun than I think you give yourself credit for. After we had a few shots and danced a little longer, I called us a cab and had us brought back here. By then, I knew you were a little past tipsy.”

  “A little?” he said with a small harrumph.

  I played with the ends of my hair. “Okay… maybe a lot. You handed me your card after you tried to… well… anyway, I took it and then helped you inside.”

  “Wait a minute,” he said, his eyes narrowing on me. “I tried to what exactly?”

  I waited a moment. Debated on if I should tell him or not. I wasn’t sure why, but my skin felt like it was on fire. Like his gaze had the power of UV rays.

  “You tried to kiss me… again,” I said, biting the inside of my cheek as I thought about the way his hands had pinned my arms to my side and how his lips looked so soft and kissable under the moonlight.

  The memory was scorched into my brain.

  “I-what?” He coughed, plowing his fingers through his hair.

  Butterflies played tag inside my stomach. “It was innocent, really. You were drunk and being overly appreciative. I had leaned you up against the wall while I opened the door, and when I went to grab you to help you in, well, you wanted to thank me for my help… with your mouth. That’s about when I had the pleasure of meeting your father.” I leaned into him. “Charming fellow, that one.”

  His head immediately fell into his hands. “I am so sorry, Maggie. I didn’t mean to—”

  “Sorry?” I cut him off. “For what, Phillip? It’s fine, really. If anything, it was endearing,” I said, feeling roses bloom in my cheeks. Why the hell did he unsettle me so much?

  “And my father? What did he say to you,” he asked, his voice muffled because of his mouth being hidden within his hands.

  Ice coursed through my blood at the mention, putting out the flames left from Phillip’s memory. “Nothing I wasn’t already aware of,” I said calmly, evenly. “You and I… we’re like fire and ice. We can coexist, but we can never mingle together. It’s self-destructive. Implosive. Or whatever.”

  I don’t know why, but just saying that out loud made my heart feel like it was being dipped in a pool of sadness.

  “Maggie,” he started to say. “My father’s opinions aren’t the same as—”

  It was my turn to hold up my hand. “It’s okay. Really. I mean, we hardly even know each other,” I said with a forced smile. “One night of hanging out hardly grants anyone the right to assume anything. And besides, there’s only three weeks left before summer ends here. After that, I’ll be headed out to California. You’ll be off to school. It’s not like anything was going to come from this. Your father, well, he was just doing what fathers do best. He was looking out for you. For your well-being.”

  His lips thinned a little. “Yeah, I know,” he said, his voice hardening like concrete. “It’s been happening my entire life.”

  I heard the sadness buried within his voice. The shackles he’d probably never be free from, and it made my heart ache a little. It also made me angry for him.

  How sad to live a life only to please everyone else.

  “Hey,” I said, grabbing his hand. He nearly jumped from the contact. “What are you doing tomorrow?”

  I knew deep down that hanging out with Phillip could potentially be dangerous for my heart, but I justified it by telling myself that I was doing him the favor. He was a good person who deserved to have fun, and I knew he wanted to have fun with me. It was there, in his eyes every time he looked at me.

  So what harm could truly come? Especially if I made sure to keep my feelings under control?

  He turned slightly, reaching for something. A small notebook. He opened it and flipped the pages until he was on the right week, and then dragged his finger down the calendar until he found where he was looking for.

  It took him less than a millisecond to respond. “Breakfast with Mother at nine. Tennis practice at twelve. Lunch with Mother, Father, and—”

  He kept going and going until my gaze nearly crossed and his words didn’t make sense anymore. Without thinking, I yanked the book from his hands, and my eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets from all the dates and times written in, page after page.

  “Jesus,” I said, continuing to flip. He had the entire next month planned out practically from hour to hour. “Do you plan your trips to the bathroom too?” I asked with a snort.

  He stiffened as a scowl settled on his lips, and I met his glower full force. I couldn’t help it. It was the truth. He had his whole life planned out for him. Even down to when he was going to take his next breath of air.

  No one should ever have to live like that.

  Reaching for the book, he tried to take it from my hands, but I jumped up, smiling impishly at him.

  “Maggie,” he said, his tone carrying warning and his eyebrows furrowing in a startling cute way. “I need that back.”

  My smile had eaten up my entire face as anticipation and excitement spread throughout my limbs. I began to back away from him. “No, you don’t,” I said, looking over my shoulder to make sure I didn’t trip over anything as he walked toward me.

  “Please, Maggie. I’m asking you nicely.”

  “And I’m asking you nicely, Phillip,” I said with just as much emphasis, trying not to laugh. “Live a little. For me.”

  With that, I ripped a handful of pages out and threw them up in the air, smiling as they rained down around us. I swear at the sound of paper ripping, Phillip nearly came undone.

  “Maggie, don’t do that!” he shouted, lunging for the book, but I was prepared for him and ran, still ripping the pages out, one by one, smiling over at him as panic shadowed across his face.

  “What are you doing?” he asked, almost grabbing a hold of the hem of my shirt.

  “Freeing up your life, Phillip,” I said, watching the pieces of his scheduled life float around us as he nearly tackled me for the book. I laughed as I held it up in the air and then toppled over as he fell on top of me, still reaching for it.

  We wrestled for a few seconds, but my strength was no match compared to his. “You can’t do that!” he said, pinning my arms down and yanking it from my hand.

  “But I already did,” I said seriously, staring up at him.

  It was then, I thought, that he realized just what position we were in. I could feel his heart beating hard against my chest. Feel the heat of his gaze as it carved a path from my eyes to my mouth.

  “Your life shouldn’t be that predictable. Orderly, sure, but to have every hour plotted out for you… How are you ever supposed to enjoy living?”

  “I do enjoy life,” he said defensively, still lying on top of me, staring down at me with large, round brown eyes.

  “Oh, yeah? What do you enjoy, Phillip?” I asked. I wasn’t sure why my eyes decided to betray my better half by trailing down to his lips.

  He blinked. Brought his face a little closer to mine, unleashing a flurry of butterflies in my stomach. “Tennis,” he said, but it was a thoughtless lie. I could tell by the way his eyes dulled at the mention. It was a thought bred into him from birth, and just knowing that killed the moment. Because r
ather than allowing himself to enjoy what he wanted, he enjoyed what others told him to.

  And I couldn’t sit by and let that happen.

  I shifted underneath him. Turned my face from his. When he sat up, I couldn’t help but notice the cold wrap its arms around me from his missing body heat.

  “Tennis?” I repeated, pulling my knees to my chest as he moved to the edge of the bed next to me.

  He shrugged. “It’s what I’m told to enjoy by Mother,” he answered, honestly this time, tossing his ripped-up notepad to the side. “But to be quite honest, I hate it.”

  “I don’t blame you,” I said with a small laugh. “Who the hell cares about hitting a ball back and forth for hours on end? Give me aggression. Give me suspense. But please don’t give me pleated skirts and a racquet.”

  “Or a bunch of terms that won’t stick,” he said, chuckling with me.

  “You know what?”

  “What?”

  “I’ve decided I want to help you.”

  “Help me?” he repeated, looking over at me.

  “Yes. I like you. A lot actually, and I’d hate for your time here at the Diamond Resort to be complete and utterly boring shitty shit.”

  He chuckled. “Shitty shit?”

  “Yes! I mean, what kind of an entertainer would I be?”

  “A pretty lame one, I suppose,” he said with a small smile, rolling right along with me.

  “Exactly! We employees of Lyle Kennedy pride ourselves in providing the very best service, and I can’t have you killing my reputation as the best in town, now can I?”

  “Absolutely not! It would be a travesty.”

  “Of epic proportions,” I finished for him. “So… would you be able to get out of tennis practice?”

  He gave me a funny look.

  “It won’t involve alcohol, loud music, or rule breaking. I swear,” I said, laughing at the look on his face. “I can do normal.”

  “You… normal?” He sounded skeptical as he grabbed a piece of my hair. “Somehow, I find that hard to believe.”

  “Okay,” I said, moving my hair from his hand. “Maybe not your version of normal, but I swear I don’t spend every day the way we spent it last night. That was, more or less, my way of testing you. And good news for you—you passed!”

  “Gee, thanks,” he said, chuckling. “And all I had to do was drink myself into oblivion and spend the morning vomiting.”

  I frowned. “I’m sorry,” I said, ruffling my fingers through his hair. “Consider that a life experience I offered you. Everyone should experience a good hangover at least once in their lifetime.”

  He looked over at me, eyes searching mine. “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  “Yes. I can get out of practice tomorrow,” he said, his smile widening.

  “Really?” I said, jumping up on my knees in excitement. Not realizing that I really had been holding my breath for his answer.

  “Yeah,” he said with an easy smile. “I hate tennis. Anything is better than tennis.”

  “Okay, cool. Tomorrow then.”

  “Tomorrow.”

  I SWEAR TIME MOVED SLOWLY at times just to annoy me.

  I had been sitting at the smoothie bar outside the tennis courts for the last half hour, checking the time on the clock behind the counter every minute or so.

  “The clock isn’t going anywhere,” Julia—the smoothie server—said as she wiped down the spotless counter.

  I sipped the last bit of my pomegranate-bomb smoothie and pushed the glass away from me, looking over at the clock again.

  He should be here any minute. And I definitely shouldn’t be freaking out over that little fact either.

  “Want another one?” she asked as she took the glass off the counter and wiped where it had been sitting.

  “No, thanks,” I said, spinning on my stool. I nearly kicked Phillip when I spun around.

  “Looking for me?” he asked, wearing a small smirk. His hair was neatly combed to the side, and his shirt was perfectly tucked into his khaki shorts.

  “Not anymore,” I said, pushing him back and hopping off the stool. “Get everything sorted with your instructor?”

  “I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t,” he said, hands folded behind him as he backed up a few steps. “So, where are you taking me?” he asked as he held the door open.

  I stepped out into the sun, heading around the back of the shop toward my Jeep. “That depends entirely upon you,” I said as I hopped into the driver’s seat.

  “Me?” he asked as he got in.

  I turned the Jeep on, put my mirrored aviator sunglasses on, and looked over at him. “Yes, you. What do you want to do?”

  “Wait a minute. I thought you were going to entertain me,” he said, scratching his head.

  “And I will, starting with our first assignment.”

  “Assignment?”

  “Yes. Indulge me a little. We’re going to pretend to be agents on a three-week assignment to find out who Phillip really is. His likes and dislikes. His hopes and dreams. His wants and needs. You’re just as in the dark as I am about all of these questions, so I think starting this out as a fun way to discover yourself without any pressure or outside influences would be good for you.”

  He sat there for a moment, taking in my every word. “Well,” he said, blowing out air, “I wouldn’t even know where to begin, if I’m being honest.”

  I grabbed his shoulder. “Oh, Phillip. I think you may just be the case of a lifetime.”

  I DIDN’T TAKE MY EYES off Maggie as I pulled the seatbelt across my chest and heard the click when it engaged.

  “Well…? Where to, Phillip?” Maggie asked, her mirrored aviators reflecting my unsure gaze back at me. A smile curled up at the corner of her mouth as she waited for me to make a decision.

  I had no idea. None. What I did know was the sound of Sophia’s voice trilling out my name like a bird of prey on the hunt from the other side of the sculptured bushes. “Anywhere. Just get us out of here before she sees me!”

  Maggie’s eyes snapped up, and then over my shoulder as her hand landed on the shifter. Without a second thought, she threw it in reverse, and then peeled out of the parking lot, laughing in the breeze as dust kicked up behind us.

  Within minutes, we were miles from Sophia Kennedy as the air ruffled my hair against my head and filled my lungs with its heavy brininess. That heaviness that Sophia’s presence always brought began to fade with every inch of asphalt we put between us and her.

  “Do you know where you want to go now?” she asked with a sense of adventure in her voice after we turned onto the main highway.

  The call of the sea was strong, so I pointed my finger in the direction of it, guiding Maggie without words.

  With a beaming smile, she turned the radio up, blasting acoustic sounds I had never heard before as she pointed the Jeep toward the fishing docks. Her eclectic blend of music washed over my soul, and I found myself smiling through every well-thought, deeply rooted lyric, but not for any particular reason. I was just… happy. Content. Alive.

  And I was next to a girl who allowed me to feel that way. Who didn’t want everything and give nothing in return. Who didn’t look at life in dollar signs.

  She tossed a smile that sent my heart into a frenzy, and before I knew it, she found a place to park.

  “Is here okay?” she asked, sounding a little surprised as she killed the engine and unbuckled her seatbelt.

  “Sure. Why not?” I said, releasing my own seatbelt. Climbing out of the Jeep, I looked out over the water. Sailing vessels of all shapes and sizes bobbed along as other boats lazily scooted over the water at a leisurely pace.

  It was like watching a singular spot where every walk of life came together, enjoying what the little peninsula offered.

  “Why here though?” she asked again, prying for some sort of answer.

  Did I even know why? It just seemed right. It seemed… “Peaceful. It’s peaceful here.”

  The
gulls cried out overhead as we stood side by side, looking out over the docks stretched out like wooden fingers beckoning the sea.

  “Well, what do you know? Phillip found something he likes,” she said, bumping her shoulder into mine. “There’s hope for this partnership yet. Wanna go sit down by the water?”

  “Are we allowed to go down there?” I asked, instantly wanting to recall the way I said it.

  She snorted a laugh and left me to follow her down a set of concrete stairs to a floating dock. She walked those docks like she had walked them a million times before. She knew every weak spot. Every dip. Touched the tip of the pylons with a smile on her face that said she was coming home.

  Fisherman waved at us from their boats. Some even said hello to Maggie as if they knew her personally as we passed by them. But not a single one of them stopped us to ask what we were doing or where we were going.

  Something I couldn’t put my finger on bubbled up and rolled over my soul like the way waves break against the shoreline as I followed closely behind her. It was as if she were the moon and I was the tide being pulled and pushed to create something magical. Maggie had whirlwinded her way into my life, setting me off course to bob against the ties that held me tightly anchored. She’d ripped my calendar to shreds and laughed in the face of everything that molded my feet to the secure foundation my life had been set upon.

  She was everything that I was not and, secretly, I wished I could toss it all overboard and follow along whatever path or crosswind carried her.

  “Looks like a storm’s moving in,” she said, pulling my wayward thoughts and scattering them.

  We’d turned down one of the docks, stopping at the end of a wharf. I’d been so lost in my own thoughts that, had she not said something, I probably would have walked straight off the edge and plunged into the rocky water below.

  “How can you tell that?” I asked, looking out across the water with my hand shielding my eyes from the blinding sun.

  She moved to the edge of the wharf and sat, legs dangling as she tipped her face up to look at me. “The clouds are gathering over there.” She pointed, and my eyes followed in that direction. “We won’t see any rain for a few hours though.”