Love Always,

by Sonya Loveday

  Once the boat was tied off, I was still as a statue, unable to move as Sean stood there, hands on his hips, staring at me for what felt like forever. Like he was staring into my soul, gauging what his next action would be.

  I knew I couldn’t back down—for a number of reasons. This was a silent conversation amongst men, and I stood strong, thinking about Maggie. Thinking that I would do whatever it took to make it right.

  And then he blinked.

  “You have a lot of nerve showing your face here,” he said, scowling at me.

  “I wouldn’t so much call it nerve as I would hope, sir,” I answered, willing my voice to stay level and not jump an octave with fear.

  He stared me down again, taking his time to make his decision. And when I thought I couldn’t take another minute of his silence, he said, “Seems you have something to say… might as well climb aboard. I have a few things to do here that will take me some time to finish,” Sean said, waving me on deck.

  I blew out the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding, clapped the ball cap back on my head, and boarded the vessel, turning just in time to grab the mop Sean thrust into my hands. “If you’re on my boat, you’re working, so you can talk and mop at the same time, but I want this deck clean.”

  I held the mop, biting my tongue as Sean filled a bucket from his fresh-water tank and squirted a small stream of soap into it, making a sudsy mix.

  Before I could stop it, my curiosity had me asking, “Won’t that hurt the fish if it gets in the water?”

  Sean cut off the stream of water, answering me as he rolled the hose up and put it away. “Not enough of it there to do any damage. Besides, it’s the same soap they use on the wildlife when there are oil spills.”

  Dipping the mop into the bucket, I gave it a quick swirl and pulled it out, wringing the excess water. I went to the bow of the boat, working my way backward, careful to get the layers of briny water and fish scales off the deck. There was a certain simplicity to the action. A quiet solitude that smoothed out my fear and allowed me to relax a little while I tried to figure out how to talk to Sean about Maggie.

  As I worked, Sean moved around the boat, set to his chores. I’d caught him watching me from the corner of my eye from time to time, but neither of us spoke until the entire deck was swabbed.

  After a good thirty minutes or so, I dumped the dirty water overboard while the gulls cried out, circling overhead as they looked for something to scavenge. Water rolled in hypnotically, slapping the hull, bringing me an odd sort of peace. A sense of pride in my small accomplishment.

  Good, old-fashioned hard work… something I hadn’t experienced in a long time.

  “I talked to Maggie the other day,” Sean said, his gruff voice breaking our short-lived silence.

  I turned swiftly to face him, noticing he was only a few feet away, squinting against the sunlight shining on his weathered face.

  The little slice of peace I found shriveled up and died.

  I swallowed my pride and asked, “I suppose she already told you about my last letter?”

  He waited a beat as he searched my eyes before answering, “She did. Which makes me wonder… just exactly what is it you’re doing here?”

  My stomach clenched in knots as my mind stumbled for the right words.

  He reached out and took the mop from my hands, making me wince. “Easy, son. I’m not gonna hurt you.” He paused. “Yet.”

  I swallowed thickly.

  “But I would like to know why you’re here, standing on my boat, when you have a pregnant fiancée at home.”

  There were so many layers to that question that I hardly knew where to begin.

  So I started with the truth.

  “All of it was a lie. I inadvertently hurt your daughter… something I never wanted to do, and for that I’m so very sorry.”

  I clasped my hand against the back of my neck, squeezing against the knotted muscles there, and took a deep breath. Holding it for as long as I could, I released it slowly, as if that act alone could alleviate the tension that threatened to shatter me.

  Sean cleared his throat as the mop in his hand bumped against the floor and he leaned on it, watching me intently. “Still doesn’t tell me why you’re here.”

  Nausea struck me like a punch to the gut. I wavered, blinking against the black spots that danced in my vision as the bob of the boat under my feet had me stumbling.

  Sean caught my arm and helped me over to the side where I neatly lost the lining of my stomach.

  “Better?” he asked, holding out a folded handkerchief for me to wipe the perspiration from my brow.

  I gripped the boat railing tightly, breathing in the scents around me, and answered, “No, sir. Not really. None of it will be better until I can see Maggie and explain everything to her.”

  He came up beside me, leaning his elbows on the rail, and clasped his hands in front of him.

  “And what if she doesn’t want to see you?”

  What was left of my composure crumbled. “Then I’ll let her go.”

  Sean pushed himself back from the railing, surveying the sea in front of him as if it held all the answers. I counted the seconds in between his pause, using the numbers to help steady my nerves as my body grappled with the alien bout of something akin to seasickness bubbling in my stomach. I’d never once been seasick. Then again, I’d never been heartsick either.

  As if he’d come to a decision, he clapped his large hand on my shoulder and turned me to face him. “I’m not gonna say I’m not angry that my little girl’s heart has been broken. Nor will I say I’m really happy with you right now. What I will say is that whatever has or has not happened is none of my business. Whatever it is, it is between you and Maggie.”

  I rubbed at the ache in my chest, determined to set everything right. “I’d like to see her, sir, so I can explain it to her face to face. I owe her that. If she doesn’t forgive me and wants me to leave, I’ll go. But I’m not giving up until she knows the truth.”

  He dropped his hand, nodding as he stepped back, “If I tell you where she is, what will you do?”

  I couldn’t answer fast enough. “I’d be on the next flight out of here, sir,” I said, hoping I didn’t sound as eager to him as I did to myself.

  Sean hummed something deep in his throat as he moved to the side of the boat and exited for the dock. “Before I tell you where she is, I need you to be completely honest with me. Man to man… are you going to be a father?”

  I climbed out after him, met him eye to eye, and said, “No, sir, I’m not.”

  His head tilted to the side. “That’s not what your letter to Maggie said.”

  I picked up my laundry bag, slung it over my shoulder, and tried to come up with the right words to explain the screwed-up situation.

  “You’re right. I wrote Maggie and told her I was going to be a father. And up until a few hours ago, I’d believed it to be the truth myself…”

  “But…” Sean said, filling in where I’d left off.

  “Have you ever had something life changing sweep you off your feet and you don’t know where you’ll land, or even if you’ll survive the fall?” I asked.

  “Yes, as a matter of fact, I have,” he said, giving me a warm smile before continuing, “Maggie’s mother. I fell so hard and so fast that I’m still not sure I’ve ever really landed back on my feet from it. But that’s not what you meant, is it?”

  “Not quite, no. Maggie came in like a whirlwind and well, I’ve never had someone take me so off course the way she has.”

  He chuckled at that. “Not my Maggie,” he said with a wry grin.

  I smiled back, thinking about her as his daughter, thinking about a small girl with hopes and dreams, out there sailing the ocean just like her dad.

  “Honestly, I really didn’t mind. I still don’t. She’s taught me so much in such a short amount of time, and everything Maggie does comes from her heart. Comes from a place inside her where she sees the best in people, and do
es what she can to help them see that too. It’s what I admire the most about her.

  “But it wasn’t Maggie who shook the foundation of my entire life, at least not the way Sophia Kennedy almost did with her deceitful lies.”

  Sean made another low sound in his throat, but he didn’t say anything, just kept looking ahead.

  I cleared my throat. “To make a long story short, I was lied to, manipulated, and drugged all in the last month or so. By Sophia, nonetheless.”

  I stopped, flinching as it all hit me in that moment. I really had been just as clueless as Ed told me I’d been. How long had I been living my life in a fog? Probably as long as my mother had had her chokehold around my neck… but not anymore.

  “Doesn’t that sound ridiculous? But it’s the God’s honest truth. I feel like I’ve been on a crash course from hell, learning all I can about life and manipulative people in such a short amount of time. And if I’m being honest with myself, a lot of it is my fault, because I should have known better. I should have put my foot down a long time ago and not let people manipulate me for their own purposes.

  “Look, I know I hurt Maggie. I can’t say I’m sorry enough for that, but I want to make it right. Even if it’s just the chance to tell her the truth.”

  Sean and I had walked side by side until we came to a stop near an old pickup, rusted and sun bleached. He pulled a set of keys from his pocket, unlocked the passenger door, and gestured for me to get in.

  “I’m assuming you need a ride, right?” he asked, making a quick scan of the near-desolate parking lot.

  “Yes, sir,” I said, opening the passenger door.

  When he got behind the wheel, he slipped the key in the ignition, brought the truck to life, and pulled out of the parking lot.

  We rode for at least the first ten minutes in silence. I didn’t say anything else, because I had said all I could say. The decision was in his hands, and all I could do was wait it out and pray that he gave me one last chance.

  When he finally spoke, my heart galloped in my chest. Please, let this be the answer I need.

  “Last I heard, she was still headed to some island called Rum Cay. Taking the long way, I believe is what she said. After that, she’ll be sailing back to Cat Island where she’s got a job lined up,” Sean said, hands gripping the wheel.

  My heart could have shot through my chest at the words Rum Cay.

  “Rum Cay and Cat Island,” I repeated the two names as a surge of hope sparked inside of me. There was still time to meet her at the edge of summer, just like we’d daydreamed about that day on the dock, watching the water roll in and out on the tide.

  Maybe all wasn’t lost. Maybe, just maybe, I could make it right with Maggie. I had to make it right with her.

  The thought of not having Maggie in my life made the color seep out of the world around me, making it an endless gray emptiness that only she could fill.

  Sean turned into the executive airfield, and I anxiously waited for him to roll to a stop. When he did, I fired out of the truck, snatched my bag off the floor, and bounced from one foot to the other. “Thank you, sir. I can’t tell you how much this means to me… I’m going to find her and grovel if I have to.”

  He chuckled, “You do that, son.”

  Everything stilled inside of me. I knew exactly what I wanted and how I wanted it. I knew as soon as I found her, I wasn’t going to let her go. I’d fight tooth and nail to be with her.

  His weathered hand stuck out and I leaned into the cab, shaking it as he said, “I want you to remember something… Maggie, she’s all I have left, and if you don’t make good on your word and you hurt her again, there will be no place on earth you could hide.”

  I gripped his hand in mine and said, “She’s all I have left too, and I’ll do everything in my power to make her happy. I promise.”

  He let go of my hand, giving me a mixed smile of sadness and joy as he tipped his head and said, “Rum Cay and then Cat Island. Go get her, son.”

  I closed the door, waving over my shoulder as I ran to the nearest ticketing counter.

  Digging my credit card out of my wallet, I snapped it down on the counter next to my passport and said, “I need a pilot to take me to the Bahamas.”

  It was the first time in my life I’d ever waved my money around to get what I wanted.

  And it felt damn good.

  HIRING MY OWN PLANE HAD put me early at Sumner Point Marina in Rum Cay. Maggie wouldn’t be sailing in for at least another day if Sean’s calculations had been correct. That gave me enough time to check out the island and figure everything out before she arrived.

  It only took a few hours for me to fall in love with everything the island had to offer.

  How could I have known what a magical place it would be when I’d come up with the first place I’d heard of that crossed my mind that day on the dock with Maggie? I mean, I had only heard good things about the place, but I never could have imagined in my wildest dreams what it really was like. Rum Cay was like a dream come true—a real slice of heaven.

  Crystal clear waters that glistened like a mine of turquoise under the midday sun. Beaches that stretched as far as my eyes could see. History. Rich culture… it was then that I understood Maggie’s need to see the island and walk its beaches.

  To make her mark.

  Anyone wanting a bit of the island life could find it all right there on the sandy shores of Rum Cay. It was a vacation goldmine, a waking dream, and I knew then what I had to do. What my heart wanted me to do.

  Before night fell on my first day, I’d taken a huge step that could only be called a leap of faith, and I willed the universe to help me make both mine and Maggie’s dream come alive.

  It had to work. But I wouldn’t say anything to Maggie about it until we’d had the chance to talk everything over. I needed her to hear the truth so that she could decide where we went from there.

  By six AM the next morning, I was up, showered, and strolling down the docks, looking for the best place to sit and watch all the ships come in.

  Maggie had sent me a Polaroid picture of her standing in front of her boat when she’d first purchased it. Scanning the area, I double checked to make sure she hadn’t already made it in and was docked.

  Luck was on my side. I didn’t see her boat tied off anywhere.

  I’d played out how I wanted it to go over and over in my head. So many times I’d lost count, but the image remained the same.

  I’d see her boat gliding in with the sun glinting off the rigging. Her hair would be snapping out behind her as she held the ship’s wheel, guiding it in to dock. I’d go to the edge of the longest pier, watching her sail in, and wait for her, like I’d told her I would.

  I didn’t allow myself to imagine anything past that, because there were too many ways it could go. She could throw herself into my arms and accept my apology. She could slap my face and shove me off the dock. Or worse, she could see me waiting there for her, turn the boat around, and head off into the sunset.

  Every emotion from fear to frustration rolled through me as I waited for Maggie to sail in.

  By midday, the only emotion left churning inside of me was fear. The sky had turned from a cloudless blue to stormy gray. Thunder rolled as the smell of rain danced through the air. It was brewing up to be a nasty storm she’d sail in on.

  Those who were out along the docks were working double time to secure everything for the high winds that swept in. Sails snapped, cracking and popping with each angry gust.

  With no sign of Maggie, all I could do was pace, waiting on her arrival as the sky opened up, dumping warm water out by the bucketfuls. My eyes searched the horizon as I scanned the seas.

  And all of a sudden, there she was, riding the storm.

  Everything went numb for a minute as I watched her boat take on wave after wave. And then, before I could think about it, I was running to the end of the dock, shouting her name, calling her to me.

  I HAD BEEN PREPARED FOR rough seas. />
  Before I left Berry Island, with Andre’s help, I routed the most optimal running angle for the stormy conditions predicted days ago. For the past couple of hours, I kept an idle, forward headway, keeping my bow in the wind even though it put me a little off course.

  I was fully prepared. Composed and ready. My ditch bags were tied to the leaning post. My life raft was close by and my life vest was on. I knew the storm surge had raised the water levels at the marina. I had even doubled up on fuel, knowing the boat would guzzle it down if the storm struck early and I was left to ride it out.

  But never once in all my plans had I factored Phillip into the equation.

  He ran down the dock, waving his arms and shouting my name as a rogue seven-footer licked up the other side of my boat and broke against the deck. A seven-footer I hadn’t been prepared for, because I was too busy squinting in shock at his soaked and wet form racing to the edge of the dock.

  I gripped the helm tight and braced myself as the water did its best to drag me back into the ocean with it. But my fingers weren’t quite strong enough. My grip slipped from the onslaught of warm, ocean water as the boat tilted to the side, heaving me overboard.

  In that moment, it was as if the world slowed down around me as I went over the railing.

  “Maggie!” I heard Phillip yell.

  My body plunged into the rough waters, and I fought with everything in me to make it to the surface and back to my boat. But the swells came in, one after the other, pushing me further and further away from my boat. Pushing it further into the storm, allowing waves to break against the hull, dumping large amounts of water on board.

  Another wave lifted me up in its crest, holding me there to bear witness to Neptune’s fury as the keel of my boat rolled up, jutting against the sky, capsizing my vessel. The world went from ragingly loud to silent all at once as the horror of what I had witnessed rolled through me.

  But the time to worry about my boat had passed.