Claiming Her

by Noelle, Alexis

  She’s quiet for a minute before she shifts uncomfortably in her seat. “My mom and dad split up when I was seven. My dad moved across the country for work and I haven’t seen him since. He used call every once in a while but after a few years the calls just stopped. My mom remarried and I gained a stepbrother. He was okay, he always seemed a little weird but I think it’s because we were all teenagers and none of us could ever agree on anything.”

  “Since I was an only child I had always wanted siblings. I used to tell my dad if he and my mom had more kids I could be fighting with my siblings instead of them.” I laugh remembering the look he used to give me.

  We pull up to the orchard, and I park the car. As we walk toward our group, I grasp Nina’s hand. I want her to feel more at ease with me. Let her know that she can relax, that it’s okay to let her guard down. When we reach the group, we say our hellos to everyone and Grace attaches herself to me immediately.

  When her mom was dying, I promised her that I would help Mason. That I would be there for Grace whenever she needed me. Mason doesn’t have family, so we are her family. “Unkey Jake, I want a reallllllly big punkin!” She forms her arms into the largest circle she can manage. I laugh and promise her that we will get the biggest one we can carry, which I might end up regretting later.

  “Everyone ready for the hayride?” Jules asks, her son Christian holding her hands and bouncing on his heels from excitement. He is about a year younger than Grace, and another integral part of our group. The kids run toward the hayride and Brian speeds up to keep up with them. I wrap my hand around Nina’s waist as we walk with everyone.

  “You’re really good with her.” She looks over at me.

  “Grace? It’s not as hard as I thought it might be when everything happened. She’s a great kid.” Nina leans in and kisses me on the cheek. When we reach the hayride, I climb on first then offer her my hand, but she hesitates. “You okay?”

  “Yep, just having a little bit of PTSD. I think you scarred me for life.” She gives me her hand, and we laugh as I help her up. I sit down in the hay, pulling her close to me like I did last night. Her head rests against me as the hayride slowly pulls away. “If anything jumps out at me, I will kill you.”

  I tighten my arms around her. “You’re good this time, I promise.”

  The hayride takes us past the witches’ house, where the witches hand out Halloween cookies and tell jokes to the kids. After that we end up in the pumpkin patch. The kids start to sprint, running around looking for just the right one. Nina and I don’t get up. I’m enjoying having her in my arms like this so much that I’m almost scared to move.

  “Unkey Jake! I found a big one!” Grace shouts from the field.

  I laugh before Nina starts to get up. “Sounds like you’re being paged.”

  “Yeah, I’ll probably regret the whole ‘we’ll get one as big as we can carry’ thing.” We get off the hayride and find Grace standing by a pumpkin that is absolutely enormous. “This is a really big one.”

  “Yeah, but you strong. You can do it!” I’m such a pushover that I lug the huge bastard back to the hayride. This thing is going to cost fifty dollars. It’s worth it though, just to see the smile on her face.

  I turn back to her, and see Nina giving her a piggyback ride. I can’t help but watch the scene in front of me. She looks so happy, they both do.

  I will work my damnedest to make sure she is happy every day.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Nina

  I lay on the floor of the gym feeling like I might actually die. I look over at Tina. “Isn’t working out supposed to get easier?”

  She shakes her head. “I don’t care who you are, these damn classes will never be easy.” Tina and I have been coming to the classes for a little over a month now, and aside from getting to see Jake more, they suck. “Come on, girl, we need to get home and start getting ready for work.”

  I stand up groaning loudly from the tightness of my muscles. When I look around to find Jake and say goodbye, I see him talking to Jaimie. That bitch has been giving me dirty looks every time I’m here and is just plain rude. I haven’t brought it up to him because I don’t want him to think I’m jealous or irrational but her very existence bothers me. The only pleasure I have in this whole thing is that I have him and it pisses her off. I walk up to them wrapping my arms around him.

  “Hey, babe, you leaving?”

  “Yes, I just wanted to say goodbye.” He leans down, placing a kiss on my lips and giving me a hug. “Bye, Jaimie.” She gives me a fake smile and wave.

  I walk out to Tina’s car and we head home. Jake and I have been doing great. With each day it feels like I get more and more comfortable with him. He is breaking down my walls and it’s starting to scare me less and less. He’s been so patient with me and the way he touches me is so gentle. I even let him sleep over last night. We haven’t done anything physical beyond kissing yet, I know he wants to I’m just hesitant. Half of me wonders if I’ll be bad at it. He is so much more experienced than me and it’s intimidating.

  I have even found myself wanting to talk about Carly to him, but haven’t. I guess I don’t know what to say. I’m not ready to tell him about that night but sometimes he’ll tell me a story that makes me think of her and I want to talk about her. I have been having dreams of her, and not my usual nightmares. I had always dreamt of that night like a recurring reel of bad memories. Now I remember the fun times, before she was depressed, before I lost her. He seems to be changing my whole life and as much as it might make me nervous, I love it.

  I have never met anyone like Jake. He has even built a relationship with Tina. He is so funny at times, then other times he is so damn sexy. My will power with holding out on going farther with him has been winding down. I don’t really know how much longer I can take it. He makes me feel and want things that scare me. I want him in every sense of the word.

  ***

  I get to work and Kelly hands me a long rectangular box. Jake still sends things to me a few days a week. “You are lucky girl, the only thing my boyfriend has given me lately is his dirty laundry.”

  I laugh and take the box from her. “Thanks, Kel.”

  I get into my room eager to see what he has sent. The card only has one word on it:

  Soon…

  Soon what? The one word holds so much promise and it scares me. I open the box and drop the lid on the floor. There is a single black rose that has wilted. What the hell. I pick up my phone.

  Me: Why would you send me that?

  Jake: ???

  Me: Don’t play stupid, Jake, this is not funny.

  My phone begins to ring and I answer it. “What are you talking about, babe?”

  “Seriously? I’m talking about the card, the rose, it’s really creepy.” He has a weird sense of humor sometimes but this is going overboard.

  “Nina, I didn’t send you anything today.” His words hit me like a rock. If it isn’t from Jake who sent it? My breathing speeds up. What the hell does “soon” mean? “What is going on?” His voice is quick and he sounds alarmed, worried.

  “I need to go.” I hang up the phone. The box on the counter is taunting me. I can’t stop looking at it or trying to figure out what it means. I can hear my phone ringing but it sounds so far away. All I can focus on is the box. The dead black rose. The one word, “soon.”

  I don’t know how long I stand there in my trance but next thing I know Jake is standing in front of me. “Hey, are you okay? I called you a bunch of times and you didn’t answer.” I don’t respond. His eyes follow mine landing on the box. He walks over to it slowly and seems to inspect it. “Is this what you thought I sent you?” I nod, giving him something.

  His arms wrap around me, and I find solace in him. I need him to let me know that everything is going to be okay. I don’t know why but I feel like this box is the beginning of something huge. “What does it mean?”

  “I don’t know. It might just be someone’s stupid idea of a joke. Wh
at can I do to help? Do you want to see if you can leave early? You can come home with me.” His voice is strong, as strong as I wish I was right now.

  “No, I can’t just leave.” He pulls away a bit and looks into my eyes. When he kisses me, it eases my fears. I know that he is here for me. Hopefully, he’s right and it’s just some stupid thing. “I have a few appointments coming up.”

  Just then there is a knock at the door. It opens and Kelly peeks her head in. “Nina, your nine a.m. is here.”

  I nod then she shuts the door. “I have to work.”

  His arms tighten around me. “You sure you’re okay? You seem a little bit shaken up.”

  “I am, but I’ll be okay.” I give him a quick kiss before pulling away.

  “You want me to get rid of this for you?” I don’t have to turn around and look to know what he is talking about.

  “Yes.” He gives me one last kiss on my cheek before leaving.

  I shake my hands trying to rid myself of the jitters before I bring my client back. Just breathe. I have always had some anxiety issues. They were really bad after I lost Carly, but have gotten much better. Right now all I want to do is crawl into the fetal position and pretend like nothing is happening.

  I take my first three appointments before getting a break. It was actually helpful to be working because it made time go by and provided a distraction for me instead of worrying about whoever sent me that box. I don’t have any more appointments today but I am supposed to be here for walk-ins. I’m tempted to just ask to go home, if I do though I know nothing good will come of it. I will sit on the couch worrying myself to death and ending up no better than I started.

  The phone in my room rings and I grab it. “Hey, it’s Kelly. I have a walk in with no requests are you free?”

  “Yep, I’ll be out in a minute.” I check my phone and let Jake know everything is okay. He must have sent me four or five different texts since he left. I love that he is so protective of me.

  I walk up to the desk letting Kelly know I’m ready. “Camden,” she calls.

  Camden? It can’t be him. I look up stunned to see the last person I ever thought I would. He looks just as shocked to see me.

  “Nina? You work here?” Camden is my stepbrother. I haven’t seen him since I left home.

  “Um, yeah.” I have no idea how to act. This is like the epitome of awkward.

  “If this is weird I can just…” He motions to the door.

  “No, it’s okay.” I start walking toward the back and he follows me. I ask him all the normal questions as I would any other customer. When I leave him in the room, I try to regain my composure. This is so weird. We were never close and I have no idea what to say to him.

  Just another thing to make this day super awesome.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Nina

  I head back into the room where Camden is now lying face down on the massage table. What do I even say to him? Anything new happen in the six years since I’ve been gone? I left him and my parents without warning and without explanation. My mom spent months trying to convince me I wasn’t to blame for what happened with Carly. I was though, she was my sister I should have seen it coming. She needed me and I wasn’t there for her.

  “You should stop by the house.” His voice is calm, thank God he isn’t looking at me. My facial expression is not one that I would have wanted him to see. I have no intentions of going back to that house. There is nothing for me there except pain and regret. I miss my parents but every time my mom looks at me I feel like she sees Carly. I used to see the pain in her eyes, and the way most of the time she would avoid looking at me.

  My mood has been so differently lately, I’ve been happy. I haven’t really been happy since I lost her. Now that Camden has popped up it just reminds me of how much I lost. I feel guilty for being so happy, for living my life when hers ended.

  “My neck has really been bothering me lately if you could pay a little more attention to it.”

  “Sure.” He breaks me out of my loathing. Let’s get this shit over with. Once he leaves, I ask Kelly if they need me to stay or if I can leave. Two of the other girls are here and free so she lets me go. Between this morning and Camden showing up I need a break. Jake had texted me telling me to come over when I was done, but right now all I want to do is sleep. I need to work this shit out in my head and I’m not ready to tell him anything yet.

  I head to my apartment going straight to my room and face planting on the bed. I pray that I can dream of Carly, that I can see her face, that somehow she can help me figure my shit out. “I really need my angel right now, sis.”

  I walk through the woods. Carly is always so good at hiding. “I give up!” I’ve been searching for her for way too long. “Carly!” I hear laughing and spin around trying to catch sight of her. I walk toward the sound.

  “Nina, no!” I hear my sister scream from the opposite direction. “Come this way!”

  I follow the voice. “Carly?” I feel a hand touch me and I scream.

  “Shh, you have to be quiet. They’ll hear you.” She tugs me down and I follow her as she crawls inside a hollowed out tree.

  My arms wrap around her hugging her as tight as I can. “I’ve missed you so much. Who will hear me? What is going on?” I whisper my heartbeat speeding up as I see how nervous she is.

  “I don’t have long, Nina, you have to listen to me. You need to trust Jake.”

  “Carly, I don’t want to talk about him right now. I need you to tell me why you’ve come to me now. I’ve never been able to dream about you unless it’s a memory.” I’ve always had nightmares of that night, and lately I’ve been dreaming of old memories.

  “No, you have to listen. Jake can save you. Trust him.” Her hands rest on my shoulders. Her eyes are pleading with me.

  “Save me from what? I don’t—” her hand clamps down over my mouth as we watch a pair of feet walk past our tree. Carly’s hand is shaking and she is so tense. She’s scared of whoever that is. I try to lower my head to look but she starts shaking her head as tears well in her eyes.

  “I have to go and so do you. Trust Jake. One more thing, you need to stay away from—”

  “Nina!” I jolt awake, sitting straight up in my bed.

  “No, Carly!” I look around for her. Shit. Stay away from who?

  My door swings open and Jake is standing there. “Jesus, are you okay?”

  His arms wrap around me. I start to shake and cry. I can’t believe I talked to her. Was it real? She was trying to warn me to stay away from someone, but I woke up. I cling to Jake no longer afraid to trust him. I asked my sister for help and she delivered. She said I could trust him, that he would save me. The only thing is that I don’t know what I need saving from.

  “Hey.” He pulls away, his hands cupping my face wiping away the tears that are falling. “What’s going on?”

  “I just need you right now.” He nods, his arms tightening around me once more. He lies down pulling me next to him. I can’t believe I just admitted that to him. I never admit to needing anyone. I bury my face in his chest, letting him envelop and surround me. I need his comfort, I need to feel safe. Whoever Carly was scared of, it was for good reason. Could it be the person who sent me the notes? We stayed there for the longest time, neither of us moving or speaking. I hear the door open and close knowing that Tina must be home from work. I can’t stay in bed all day hiding from the unknown.

  I lift my head up and look at Jake. “Thank you for being here.”

  He leans his head down and kisses me. “Anytime you need me I’ll be here, babe. You scared me. I tried calling you and I didn’t get an answer. I called the spa and they said you left early. You know you really need to start locking your door.”

  I nod, I have always been horrible with that. Tina yells at me all the time. “I think I have some stuff I need to tell you.” My body begins to shake and Jake looks at me with worry in my eyes. “It’s about who I was visiting at the cemetery. She was my si
ster.” I tell him about the way Carly had been acting and then about the night I found her. I have to stop multiple times through the story just to be able to finish it. “After I lost her…” My voice breaks once more, as tears continue to fall. “…I lost myself. I didn’t go back to school, I just did all my assignments from home. I didn’t go to graduation because of the memorial they were planning. I couldn’t bear to accept that she was gone. Whenever anyone tried to talk to me about it, I shut down. My mom tried to get me to talk to someone I refused to go. I felt like I deserved to live in pain, because I was to blame for her being gone.”

  “Why would you think you were the reason? Nina, it sounds like Carly was just really unhappy for some reason. That isn’t your fault.” His hand is sliding up and down my arm giving me the courage I need to continue.

  “It was my fault, Jake. I should have been there for her, I could have stopped her. She always listened to me. I was self-centered, and oblivious to the amount of pain my sister was in. I might as well have just killed her myself.” I sob loudly completely breaking down.

  “Listen to me, your sister would not want you to blame yourself. She knew you loved her. You were a kid, it’s normal to act the way you did. Your sister would want you to live, not to punish yourself for her decision.” I grip his shirt as if he is the only lifeline I have. I know what he is saying is true, that doesn’t make me feel less responsible though. “You will get through this, I will help you. It’s okay to be happy.”

  Carly told me to trust Jake, and I am going to try my damnedest to.

  I want to tell him what she said about staying away from someone, about him saving me, but I don’t. Carly never got a chance to tell me who it was. I feel like if I start to ramble about this to Jake he will think I’m a complete psycho. Paranoia is filling my head as I try to figure out who in my life might be a danger to me.