What Lies Beneath the Mask

by Laura Greenwood

  “I’m alright with that for now, but not forever.” He agreed and I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. Clearly he saw something long term between the two of us. “And one day you’ll tell me why you were avoiding me.” I nodded. I knew that if things did go further between us then I’d have to tell him about my past with Toby, not that it was a conversation I was looking forward to. We both turned back to pay attention to the stage where The Music of the Night was wrapping up. We watched as Merry and Henry moved into the next set of lyrics which would lead to Merry taking off Henry’s mask for the first time. Hayley hadn’t actually created the Phantom’s masks yet and so Henry wore a simple black eye one to give them something to practice with. It was going well until Merry removed the mask and Henry pushed her back in a practiced move. It was the first time I’d actually seen them stage the scene and before I knew it, I flinched, transported back into my memories.

  Chapter 12

  4 years ago.

  “Belle, you can’t just talk to guys like that.” Toby’s voice was calm and controlled, which I’d learnt was the worst kind of anger in the year we’d lived together. I knew that the best way to avoid what was coming next was to beg, or to cower in a corner, and yet there was a part of me that still wanted to fight back.

  “I didn’t talk to any guys like that!” I shouted at him. I had no idea what he was talking about. All I’d done today was go to college and work on a group project. True there were a couple of guys in my group, but all we’d talked about was our project for one of our classes.

  “Don’t think I didn’t see you leaning into that guy.” My heart sank. I’d leant over my group mate, Tommy’s, shoulder to see some of the programming he’d done for lighting. In most people’s eyes it wasn’t anything suggestive, but to Toby.... I shivered.

  “We were working on our project.” I protested weakly. I didn’t even have to pretend at fear now. I didn’t like dealing with Toby when he was like this.

  “Excuses!” He roared and backhanded me. I collapsed to the floor hitting my hip on the coffee table on my way down. Tears fell from my eyes silently and I said nothing. The best thing that could happen now was for Toby to leave and not do anything else to me, and it was a 50:50 whether that would happen. Luck held out for me and all he did was spit on me before storming out and slamming the door behind me. My silent tears turned into full blown sobs as I curled up where I fell.

  Chapter 13

  “Annabelle!” Jack sounded frantic and I could feel his hand on my arm. Jerking away reflexively, I instantly regretted it. My breath was ragged and I could feel an impending panic attack coming; they used to be far worse, but every now and again they manage to creep back up on me. Naturally, they seemed to happen mostly at completely inconvenient times.

  At some point while I’d been immersed in my memories, I’d collapsed into a chair and Jack was now kneeling in front of me, his arms either side of me but not touching. “Annabelle look me in the eyes. Ok keep looking and take a deep breath.” His voice was soft and I found it soothing despite everything going on in my head, “was it Merry being pushed over that triggered this? Just nod if you need to.” His hazel eyes showed that he was genuinely worried about me so I nodded, not liking what that revealed about me. “Ok deep breaths. Merry is fine, remember that’s how you staged it.” I nodded again taking another deep breath. Luckily Jack’s voice seemed to have snapped me out of all out-panic mode and now I was just breathing heavily.

  “Here.” Hayley thrust some chocolate at me as she arrived. “How is she?” She addressed Jack, ignoring me as I slowly ate the bar. That was my best friend for you; always prepared.

  “She’s breathing more normally now. She said it was Merry being pushed over that set her off.” Jack said quietly, probably to avoid setting me off again. Hayley looked shocked.

  “She told you that?” Even in my state the shock in her voice was evident.

  “Well she nodded when I asked.” He replied.

  “Wow. She must really like you.” Calmer now, I was able to glare at her.

  “Does it happen often?” Though he was asking Hayley, I shook my head in response, at which she barked a laugh.

  “More often than she admits.” I glared at her again. It wasn’t like Hayley to reveal things like that about me.

  “What triggers it?” Hayley shrugged.

  “Stress of some kind.” I smiled this time. Her non-committal answer gave nothing to Jack, and everyone suffered from stress of some kind. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like Jack had bought her answer.

  “Okay. You’re not ready to tell me.” This time he faced me and looked me straight in the eye. “But when you’re ready; I’ll listen.” He pushed off before walking towards the stage where everyone had continued practicing as if nothing had happened; which of course to everyone else it hadn’t. I watched after him unable to tear my eyes away.

  “That boy has it bad for you Belle.” Hayley observed.

  “I know.” I croaked back at her.

  Chapter 14

  Once again Hayley had out done herself; my dress was a little black number with an open back but a high neck and stopping just above my knees. It was elegant, with just the right hint of daring and thankfully, it skimmed over the bits of me that I didn’t like so much. I’d tousled my hair while it was wet but otherwise left it to dry naturally and only put on a hint of makeup. This was Jack after all, and if he’d seen me at one of the worst moments possible and still wanted this date, then there was no point plastering on makeup.

  “How do I look?” I asked Hayley whilst smoothing down my dress. It didn’t actually need smoothing, but I was nervous and doing something with my hands helped.

  “Gorgeous as usual.” She smiled reassuringly at me. Knowing she’d tell me the truth was definitely a highlight of moving beyond normal friendship and into the bestie zone. Her amazing sewing skills came a close second.

  “Will he like it?” She chuckled.

  “I think he’d like you in anything, Belle.” I bit my lip and glanced nervously towards the door. Tonight was my first proper date with Jack since I’d agreed to see him on the down low. Naturally I’d excluded Hayley, and for Jack’s sake, Isaac, from the list of people we couldn’t tell. After all, no one would expect a girl to hold things back from her best friend. I jumped when the knock came, before skipping over to the door. I might be nervous but there was also a part of me that was at least a little bit excited too. I swung the door open to find Jack stood there and looking just as nervous as I was. He was wearing the dark jeans I’d noticed the other day again, but this time he had a maroon shirt on, and it looked good.

  “Hi.” My voice was breathless but I couldn’t help it. Even if I didn’t want to be ready to trust anyone again, I couldn’t help but be drawn towards Jack. Maybe there was hope for me yet.

  “Hey.” He pulled me into a hug. I tensed without thinking before sinking into his arms. I had to at least try and act normal around him. “You look amazing.” His voice was low and quiet as he spoke into my hair, it was almost as if he was completely oblivious to Hayley looking on.

  “Have fun kids.” She interrupted cheerfully. “Don’t forget to wrap it before you tap it.” She laughed at her own joke and I felt my cheeks turn red. Whatever my best friend thought, that would not be happening any time soon. I pulled away from Jack and flipped my middle finger at her, just causing her to laugh all harder.

  “Have a good night Hayley,” Jack said through a smile, clearly amused even if I wasn’t. “You ready?” He asked me. I nodded once and slipped on my hot pink shoes and matching bag. I love a little black dress, but Hayley says you should always accessorise with colour unless it’s a funeral. Jack pulled the door shut behind me and ran a hand through his hair, a nervous tick of his I’d noticed, reassuring me that I wasn’t the only one who was nervous.

  Chapter 15

  Dinner was surprisingly easy going, instead of taking me somewhere fancy, Jack had chosen an American style dinne
r that had opened a few weeks ago in the town centre. The inside was 50s themed with a lot of booths and turquoise everywhere, but even better was the old-fashioned style juke box in the corner that customers could actually use. The food was basic, but good quality, and the laid-back atmosphere was really helping me to relax.

  “So what do you do when you’re not at the theatre?” As soon as he asked, I realised that it wasn’t something we often talked about.

  “I’m a graphic designer.” I answered quickly. “Freelance mostly, so I work around my other commitments.”

  “Anything I’d have seen?” I shrugged.

  “Depends how much you look up infographics on the internet. There’s been a few book covers for Indie authors, but nothing major.”

  “Is it what you want to do?” I shook my head.

  “I want to be a concept artist.”

  “For films?” I nodded and took a bite out of my blueberry sundae. I wouldn’t have thought I’d ever be comfortable eating so much on a date, but then again Jack had an equally large banana split in front of him.

  “Yes, though I know it’s probably a long shot.” He looked at me shocked.

  “You have no idea how talented you are, do you?” He blurted out and I felt myself blush. “I have no doubt you’ll make it Annabelle.”

  “What about you, what do you do outside the theatre?” I asked eager to steer the conversation away from me.

  “I’m an apprentice carpenter.”

  “Oh.”

  “Surprised?”

  “A little, but I wasn’t sure what to expect. Do you enjoy it?”

  “Yes, I like working with my hands.” My gaze drifted down to where he gripped his spoon and couldn’t help some of the thoughts that entered my head. “I like knowing I can make something as simple as a piece of wood into something beautiful.” I smiled at him.

  “Is that what you’ll do when you finish your apprenticeship?”

  “Yes, my plan was always to start my own custom furnishing business. Not very grand I know, but I want to enjoy what I do.” I smiled at him and our conversation was followed by several moments of comfortable silence as we finished off our desserts. “Would you like to go dancing?” He asked after the last bite of his banana split. I thought for a moment; what passed for dancing for our generation mostly meant gyrating against a member of the opposite sex, and the idea didn’t have me enamoured, but I also wasn’t ready for my date with Jack to end just yet.

  “Sure.” I smiled at him. He flagged down our waitress and had paid the bill before I’d even fully realised what he was doing. I wasn’t the kind of girl who expected a man to pay for me, but Jack waved away my protests before I’d fully had chance to voice them. He held out his hand and I took it, letting him pull me to my feet.

  “Shall we?” I nodded and he placed his hand on the small of my back, like he’d done earlier. The gesture was a little possessive and a surprisingly there was a big part of me that was secretly loving it. He drew me towards the door and towards the taxi rank outside. Though neither of us had had a drink, we’d left both of our cars at mine and Hayley’s. The city wasn’t big, so we could get anywhere walking. He opened the car door for me before getting in after me. “Angelo’s please.” He told the driver and I wondered where that was, it wasn’t a club I’d heard of.

  “Where’s that?”

  “Wait and see.” He tapped my nose gently as he looked into my eyes and I got the impression that he wanted to kiss me. We hadn’t even come close since we’d been in the prop room, and my inner voice was urging him to make the move right now regardless of if we were in the back of the taxi or not. It didn’t take long for us to get there and Jack held the door open for me, again, as I got out. I could hear a beat coming from the lively looking bar with Angelo’s written above the door, but it didn’t sound familiar, and the bar didn’t give off the normal club vibe. Jack took charge and steered me towards the entrance and into the busy and lively room; everywhere I looked there were couples doing some kind of salsa dancing, all smiling and laughing without the air of drunkenness that normally seemed to dominate British clubs. The bar itself wasn’t as packed as I’d expected and we walked up to it easily. “Do you like Sangria?” Jack asked.

  “Yes. Me and Hayley went on holiday to Southern Spain a couple of years ago, it was the only thing we drank.” Jack smiled.

  “Sangria please. Two glasses.” He asked the woman behind the bar who swung her hips in time to the music that was playing as she fixed our drinks. Jack turned back to me. “Like it?”

  “Yes! I’ve never salsa danced before though.” Naturally I was worried that I’d mess up the dance and end up being laughed at by the other, far more experienced, people in the room.

  “I’ve only danced once. My sister had her birthday party here. You’ll be fine Belle; I’ve seen you dance before you have a natural rhythm.” My mind instantly went back to the prop room, my mind zoning in on the memory of his lips against mine. “Here.” He poured a glass of sangria from the pitcher the bar maid had given him and handed it to me. I took a sip and had to admit that it was one of the best recipes I’d ever tasted. I’d have to bring Hayley here sometime.

  “Would you like to dance?” I asked him suddenly, even surprising myself. He smiled at me and took my glass, placing it on an empty table near the bar. I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the dance floor before he could do anything else and he began to laugh. I joined him wholeheartedly, already caught up in the joyful atmosphere and the music. “I don’t know how to do this.” I told him when he pulled me round to face him.

  “It’s easy.” He placed his hands on my hips, watching my face as he did so to check I was okay with it. He pushed ever so gently on one side and I began to sway my hips slightly to the music. “Just feel the music and move with it.” He stepped back on his right foot swinging his hips as he did so, something that really should have been comical but somehow definitely wasn’t. I followed his lead moving as smoothly as I could. After a few minutes, I’d gained the confidence and increased awareness of the music’s rhythm that I needed to copy the other women around me, going with what felt right and enjoying the look of pure joy of Jack’s face as I did so. He pulled me under his arm and spun me around and I laughed in delight. I had to admit that the two of us moved well together and I could feel the tension mounting between us, secretly hoping that it would lead to a kiss.

  After several songs, and a couple more glasses of sangria, I was dancing without looking around at the other people in the room, or needing to say a word to Jack, and yet we were still connected on a level I’d never experienced. Jack tugged on my arm and I thought he was going to spin me again until I collided with his chest. One of my hands flew to his chest as if to push myself away, though there was something stopping me following through; Jack’s left hand covered mine while the other gently pushed against the small of my back. He leaned forward, our mouths almost touching and I found myself yearning for him to close the small space between them. “Thank you for coming with me tonight.” He whispered in a low voice, my thoughts on the feel of his breath against my lips.

  “You’re welcome. It’s been a great night,” I smiled gently.

  “Can I kiss you?” My heart jolted; I’d been expecting him just to do it, but apparently, Jack had other ideas.

  “You don’t have to ask,” I responded breathlessly.

  “I do,” he whispered before closing the gap between us and kissing me in the middle of the dance floor like there was no one else around.

  Chapter 16

  “I wish you’d get that smile off your face.” Hayley joked from her work station on her half of the studio.

  “What smile?” I didn’t pause from my sketch of a design for Firmin and André’s office as I answered her, we’d long since perfected the art of distracted conversation.

  “The one that most people wear when they get laid. But I know for a fact that you were in bed, alone, by half eleven.” I screwed a piece of
scrap paper from my desk into a ball and threw it at her, causing her to laugh.

  “I had a good time is all.” I mumbled.

  “Yeah I got that. So, where did you go?” Jack had walked me to the door last night and the delay while he’d kissed me goodnight had meant that Hayley had already been in bed when I’d finally made it inside. Normally she’d have cornered me the next morning but she’d had an early lecture so was running out the door, late as usual, as I’d been having my breakfast. I’d been expecting the inquisition all day, yet somehow she’d managed to wait until we were alone in the studio to pounce.

  “We went to that American dinner that opened a couple of weeks back and then we went dancing. You’d love the place we went to; all salsa dancing and some of the best sangria I’ve tasted!” She gave me a pointed look and I returned it with an innocent one.

  “And…”

  “And?”

  “Did he kiss you?” I smiled and she squealed in delight. “More than once?”

  “Yes more than once. He asked first.”

  “Oh he really likes you!” She was almost bouncing up and down in her seat.

  “What makes you say that?” I mean I realised that he liked me at least a little bit, or else he wouldn’t have spent so much time trying to get me on a date in the first place.

  “He asked to kiss you. He spent weeks trying to get you to go on a date in the first place. He didn’t try and come in last night. He can’t take his eyes off you. Take your pick.” She ticked off reasons on her fingers as she said them, my heart fluttering with each of them. “And let’s guess, you got a good night text too.” I nodded. I’d had a good morning text too but I wasn’t about to tell her that. A knock came on the open door and we both turned to see Susan, one of the stage hands, standing there with an envelope in her hand.