What Lies Beneath the Mask

by Laura Greenwood

  “How should I know! I don’t even have a corner to call my own.” She huffed.

  “I’ll just put them in the middle of the room then.” I received a death stare in response and felt a little pleased with myself; anything that wound Merry up was completely worth it. Saying that, I couldn’t let her change in the middle of the room, so wheeled the rack to the far corner behind the female cast member’s screen. “Do you two not need to go warm up?” I asked absently, though now I’d suggested it I realised I was probably right. Jack had been doing vocal exercises over breakfast he was that serious about doing well tonight.

  “Yes we should. Come on Merry, let’s go.” Merry pouted at Henry and I didn’t envy him the one on one time with her.

  “Belle,” Susan, one of the stagehands called me breathlessly as she ran into the room. “One of the screens has got tangled, we don’t want to make it worse.”

  “Dammit. Susan, can you help Hayley finish bringing the costume racks down while I go and sort this out.” The bad feeling was back, like this was only the start of the things that could go wrong tonight.

  “Sure.”

  “Where is the screen?”

  “On stage, we were trying to get it into position for the first scene.” Dammit, this could be disastrous.

  “Thanks Susan, I’ll sort it.” I’m just glad I wore comfortable shoes today.

  Chapter 51

  Turns out the stagehands had been in a tizzy for no real reason; it had only been one of the hoist ropes that was tangled and it was easy to fix. Unfortunately for me, things didn’t stop there. I’d also had to send three costumes to Hayley for mending and had to find a missing grave which, for some reason, had got put with the stage dressings for the grand finale rather than with the rest of the props for Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again. With just two hours to go before curtain up, things seemed to have settled down a bit. All of the cast were here and had their hair and makeup done, and, as far as I knew, most of them were also in their first costumes, ready to go on stage. All I had left to do was to get changed into the smart black dress Hayley had laid out for me in our studio. Normally, back stage would just wear comfortable black trousers and t-shirts, and the stagehands had that luxury tonight as well, but for those of us deemed more important, me, Hayley, John and Sanjit, tonight involved formal clothing. Dresses for me and Hayley, suits for John and Sanjit; apparently if we were going to end up on TV then we had to look our best. The only concession to practicality was a pair of flat black ballet pumps, but that would just have to do. I threw my hair up into a bun, there was too much going on for me to worry about doing my hair properly, and made my way towards the green room where everyone was gathered to hear John’s customary pre-show speech.

  “After a rocky start this production has gone from strength to strength and I’m sure that you won’t be disappointing me tonight.” John started and I thought back to the snow machine, fire and other sabotage. We’d never found the culprit, but as the events had stopped, John thought we would be fine. “We’ve been ambitious in the staging, costumes and songs in this show and if we pull it off then there’s next to no chance we can’t win. So, do it better than ever before people, otherwise you’ll find yourself relegated to the chorus next show!” Yet another of John’s inspiring speeches. I wasn’t sure why we let him speak before a show as it tended to just freak everyone out. Nevertheless, the cast and crew began to clap and I could see tentative smiles. John did have a point, if we did this well then we were definitely in the running to win The Show Must Go On. All we could do now was hope it all went to plan.

  Arms circled my waist from behind and I leant back into Jack, savouring the way he smelt. I almost couldn’t believe how far we’d come as a couple since starting work on Phantom, but I couldn’t deny that I was the happiest I’d been in a long time. “Nervous?” I asked, twisting my head around so I could see him. Jack loosened his hold allowing me to turn and face him without him having to let go.

  “No.” I cocked my head, slightly surprised given the intensity of his pre-show preparations over the past 24 hours. “I have no need to be. The orchestra is fantastic, we’ve practiced to within an inch of our lives, and our back-stage crew is the best in the country.”

  “I wouldn’t go that far.” I looked away bashfully. I still wasn’t very good at compliments, even from Jack. He lifted my chin with his finger so he could look me in the eyes again.

  “I would.” He kissed me nose affectionately.

  “Fenton, no messing up the makeup.” Hayley shouted and he turned to her, not letting me go in the process.

  “I’m Fenton now, am I?!” I could see the glint of teasing in his eyes, but it came out serious.

  “While you’re misbehaving? Definitely.” There was a slight smile at the corners of Hayley’s mouth, and I knew that she was teasing him back. I loved that the two people I cared about most in the world, outside of my family of course, got on so well.

  “Misbehaving would be running off to find an empty room with you.” He whispered against my ear.

  “Jack!” I said louder in mock horror. After all, I knew that he took tonight way too seriously to actually do that.

  “You think I’m joking.” His voice was still low and I couldn’t help but smile.

  “Well I’m not, I’m way too busy for that.” He only looked slightly disappointed, so I assumed what he’d said had been meant as a joke in the first place.

  “Go boss everyone about then!” I leaned up and kissed him swiftly.

  “I will. Now break a leg, I’m expecting you to be amazing.”

  “With someone like you to sing to, how could I not be.” I hate to admit it, and I wouldn’t if anybody asked, but that had me swooning a little bit. Jack was often saying sweet or romantic things to me, and yet I just couldn’t seem to get used to it.

  “Okay time to break up the love fest you two.” Hayley butt in. “Belle needs to be near the stage and you had better not mess up your costume.” She fixed the two of us with a glare that would have made anyone cringe away. I was used to her looks though and just smiled.

  “Alright, I’m going. Good luck everyone! See you after the show!” I waved behind me as I left, off to double check that everything was running smoothly.

  Chapter 52

  People were starting to arrive, which meant that there was nothing else we could do; the show was either going to be a roaring success or it was going to flop terribly. John was back schmoozing our presenter, Lindsey, was it? Or Leslie? Oh, wait it was Linda! But my plan for now was to fade into the background and not speak to anyone unless I had to. Other than me and John, there was no one else from our troupe about, and I didn’t even know where David was.

  “Ladies and Gentlemen!” John’s voice boomed over the crowd and I briefly wondered if a loud voice was a prerequisite for being a director. “If you could please take your seats ready for the performance to begin!” People began to move to the double doors leading to the circle seats. Instead of the normal mix of smart casual, everyone seemed to be dressed up the nines. As far as I knew, tickets for tonight hadn’t been available to the public, instead they’d been given to important people in the community, from the TV company and some had even been auctioned off for charity. Everyone was chatting excitedly and I envied them that. Whereas they got to enjoy the show, we’d be watching on the edge of our seats with our fingers crossed hoping that things wouldn’t go wrong.

  “Where are our seats?” I asked John once he’d moved over to where I was standing.

  “I’m in the front row with the Mayor.” He said slightly smugly. “You and Sanjit are in the two seats closest to the doors, that way you can get back stage quickly if something goes wrong, but can still keep an eye on the performance. Hopefully, it’s just a precaution and nothing else.” He only seemed to be half talking to me and I was kind of glad. It was just like John to leave the hard work to other people and take the credit for it.

  “Okay.”

  �
�I need you to check that that repulsive gargoyle is definitely in position, we won’t be able to move it once the show starts.” It’s the first time I’d ever heard John complain about the gargoyle and I was glad to discover that he felt the same as the rest of us.

  “Got it.” I said, deciding that that was as good as a dismissal as I was going to get. I grabbed my clutch bag that only contained my phone and a tube of lip gloss, and made my way towards back stage to check on the horrible gargoyle.

  Chapter 53

  The corridor was dark and dingy; we couldn’t risk the light showing up on stage and ruining the ambiance of any of the scenes later on. There were props and stage dressings everywhere, but I’d walked down it so many times today that I’d learnt where everything was by heart. When I came to the set dressings for the roof, I found what I was looking for and shivered. The gargoyle still gave me the creeps, even more so considering who gave it to us. I’d tried to make it less ugly with the fake snow but nothing actually seemed to work; the only thing that made me feel better was that everyone else seemed to hate it as much as I did.

  “Miss Phillips! A word?” A voice I recognised, and hoped I’d never have to hear ever again, called down the corridor towards me. I wanted to move and get away to watch the beginning of the show. Instead, I stayed as still as possible hoping that he’d leave thinking I wasn’t here. “Belle do not ignore me.” His voice was stronger now and took on the tone I’d hated while we were together. Instead of running, I spun on my heels and faced him.

  “I can ignore you if I want Toby.” My words sounded stronger than I expected, but then again I wasn’t the same girl I’d been while I was with him anymore.

  “You can’t and you know it.” I glared and he stalked towards me a predatory gleam in his eyes.

  “I have to go Toby. I need to make sure everything is in place for the show.” I turned to leave but he grabbed my wrist and squeezed. A bolt of pain flashed up my arm. He tugged and I found myself turning involuntarily. He pushed me up against the wall opposite the gargoyle and caged me between his arms. My clutch, complete with my phone, skidded away from me as I dropped it. As much as I wanted to, I knew there was very little chance that I could break free without help.

  “The only thing you need to do is to come home with me,” he sneered. I briefly wondered what I’d ever seen in him, but quickly realised that now was not the time to be thinking about things like that.

  “I’m not going home with you Toby.” I said calmly, though my heartbeat was furious in my chest and my palms were sweaty with nerves.

  “You are!” He pounded the wall with his fist and I flinched with the impact. It seemed that old habits die hard. I shook my head furiously. “I have not gone to all this trouble to lose you now.”

  “Trouble?” I asked despite myself.

  “Did you not get my notes?” My blood turned to ice in my veins.

  “Th-th-that was you?” I stammered. “The notes, the accidents?” I’d been almost certain it was Toby anyway, as had Hayley, but there was something different about hearing him say it.

  “The notes yes. I had help with the accidents. But I needed to get your attention somehow.” He smiled in a way that gave me the creeps.

  “You nearly destroyed my show.” Anger grew inside me, not that I’d ever really shown it to Toby, at first I hadn’t wanted to put off a new partner, and later it was for my own safety. But this had gone too far.

  “The show isn’t important Belle.”

  “It is to me.”

  “You’re coming home with me now. I won’t even punish you for that stunt you pulled at the hospital.” All I could do was stare at him dumbly; the only thing I’d done at the hospital was leave without him. As an adult, I’d had every right to do that, but I don’t suppose that’s how he saw it.

  “I am not coming home with you.” I stood up as straight as possible while still trapped between the wall and Toby. “I’m with someone.”

  “Forget about him!” He shouted, spit dripping from his lips. His eyes had taken on a feral look and if I hadn’t already been scared, I certainly would be now. I was more than just scared for myself though; Toby knew who Jack was, and if Toby was willing to hurt me, as I knew he had been in the past, then there was no doubt that he could hurt Jack. Even that wasn’t enough to make me want to risk being alone with Toby any longer than necessary.

  “I’m with someone Toby. And I love him.” I’m not sure what it was that made me tell Toby that, without a doubt I loved Jack, but telling him that was probably the completely wrong thing to say. Toby’s hand moved to my throat and pressed against me. I was completely pinned to the wall and, worse still, the pressure was beginning to make me panic.

  “You’re mine Belle.” He growled, threatening in a way that Jack never was. My breathing was shallow and I dared not make a noise, reminding myself that so long as I managed to stay calm enough not to induce a panic attack, I’d probably be okay. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like the rest of my brain was listening to that one sane thought. As much as I was dreading what he was going to do next, and the ideas going through my head weren’t pleasant, it surprised me when he pushed his lips against mine and tried to kiss me, his grip loosening on my throat. In an act of pure instinct, I brought my knee up sharply between his legs, causing him to fall back howling in pain, and I responded without thinking; I ran.

  Chapter 54

  I wasn’t sure where I was heading to, and even though I knew this theatre like the back of my hand, I just couldn’t seem to work out where I was. Everything was dark and things weren’t in their normal places, confusing me all the more. I could still hear Toby’s shouts of pain telling me that I was nowhere near as far away from him as I should be. I started moving quicker, pushing through doors and past the props and costumes that were in random rooms in the theatre; this part wasn’t used by us. I found a staircase and without thinking I moved downwards, wanting to put as much distance between me and Toby as possible, even if that meant getting lost. The air almost felt damp, and I lifted one of my hands to my face to find it covered in tears. In a dim part of my mind I could still feel a panic attack coming, and I knew that I needed to calm myself down, but the fight or flight part of human nature had been activated and nothing would stop me from putting space between myself and danger.

  Once I got to the bottom of the stairs I found myself in a corridor with three doors, eagerly pushing myself through the first I didn’t check to see if the floor was clear before stepping through and tripped over something lying on it. My ankle screamed in pain and I put my arms out to catch myself from falling. Landin on the floor with a thump, my tears started falling faster, my ankle throbbed and I found myself curling into a ball.

  As my heartrate slowed, and the flight instinct faded, my mind started going over what had happened with Toby in the corridor, which only caused more heaving sobs. I’d tried hard to block out the worst parts of our relationship but I was worried that the floodgates had now been opened and there was no way of getting them back closed.

  Chapter 55

  We’d been living together for two weeks and everything was going great. I’d made a chicken and leek pie for dinner and had found myself enjoying the domestic life that I’d seemed to have landed in. Toby came home from work, hungry as normal no doubt, and found me in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches to the pie before sticking it back in the oven to finish cooking.

  “What are you doing?” He asked harshly.

  “Making dinner.” I smiled at him. “Do you want a beer?” He nodded once and I opened one from the fridge for him. I picked up my wine glass and took a sip.

  “You’ve been drinking.” It was more a statement than a question.

  “Just this glass.” I waved it towards him slightly to emphasise.

  “You shouldn’t be drinking.”

  “Why?” I asked confused. He’d never had a problem with me drinking before.

  “Because I don’t want you to.” His face w
as stern and I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.

  “It’s only a glass of wine Toby.” I laughed light heartedly.

  “Don’t drink again.” He grabbed the glass from my hand and threw it on the counter next to me. The wine spilled, drenching my pale blue tank top and jeans, while the glass smashed and pieces of glass sprayed everywhere causing small spots of blood to well up on my arm. I blinked back tears, more upset that he’d been so angry than from the pain I barely felt.

  “Okay.” I whispered.

  “Good girl.”

  ***

  “What do you need the money for?” Toby spat in my face, while his hands gripped around my wrists, stopping me from escaping.

  “I want to help with the bills.” I said quietly through the tears that were already falling. I’d had a part time job in a coffee shop since I was 17, and yet a few months after coming to live with Toby he wanted me to quit.

  “Liar.” He threw me to floor using my wrists as leverage. I banged my hip on the way down and let out a sob of pain.

  ***

  “Mum and Dad have invited us for Sunday dinner.” I told Toby over roast chicken one night.

  “We’re busy.” He didn’t even look up as he said it.

  “There’s nothing on the calendar.” I pressed. If it hadn’t been about my family, then I would have dropped it. By now I knew that it was best not to provoke Toby.

  “I said we’re busy Belle.”

  “Why?” I half shouted. The table shuddered as Toby slammed his fists down.

  “They want too much of your time.” His voice was cold and his eyes were hard.

  “They’re my parents they just want to see us.”

  “I said NO.” He pushed up from the table and stalked around to where I was sat.