Birthing the Lucifer star

by donna bartley

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  Shirley loaded as many suitcases and overnights that she thought she would need for her long trek to North Dakota. She checked off her list, making sure that she had absolutely everything, especially her crystal. She was resplendent with material possession, yet she was naked. She was ready to do battle. She did not know the enemy, and she did not know the Ally, she only knew that she was being called. She did not know if the call was coming from a dark forbidden corner of the earth, or from the brightest star in the Heaven.....she was taking heed. She would find out what she needed to do...was she capable of fighting a holy war??....holy shit, she couldn't believe she could, or would, or should be a part of it....somehow it chose her, she did not choose it. She was sure of that....At what cost did true salvation come? At what cost our independence? Where the scales of justice are the back drop of peace and democracy, this stage where the sum of our rights are absolute, where does freedom begin and tyranny end? Is it our prerogative as a people to be exempt from any restraint of thought, or physical wandering? And why did this entail martyrdom, the ultimate sacrifice? And why did she feel that whatever lay before her was to redeem the American experience? It seemed far beyond her capacity to deliver a mixed multitude from the throes of inherent evil and corruption.

  She understood that everyone now stood at a time in history when civilization is scarred by the filth of corruption from the highest rulers, to the lowliest caste, where human life is considered cheap, and the sanctity of life is marred by man's inhumanity to man, where people pray not for healing, fellowship, and understanding, but out of hatred, division, and ignorance, when those who lead us, shove us straight into temptation and the arms of evil. The atomic clock is ticking, and the eve of destruction is but a holy war away. The field of Megiddo had long since been prepared, waiting for the fallen ones to build up the courage to make use of it….

  Holy jihad! The world was now dangling from its fraying thread and she, for one, innately felt the end was near. But now she was being called upon to take part in something, was it redemption, was this the great tikkun? Was this making the path straight for the long awaited Messiah? And why was she being called? She partook of the sin of Cain. She was guilty of the most heinous act, yet this might be the only way for her to redeem her own soul.

  Men create confrontation, confusion, ignorance, and fear, to the point of war. There is nothing holy about it. It is fomented and the flame of hatred fanned by those who profit most by it. But she herself committed an act of ‘holy war’ when she took the life of her best friend and lover. Darren was indeed a martyr, did he not die for what he believed in?

  She could not understand the quest for martyrdom; does not martyrdom assume the state of self-immolation in the face of conceding principles and beliefs? Is it not the acceptance of pain and suffering before the acquiescing of one’s own convictions? And if so, how does that translate into murdering innocent people? How does blowing oneself up in a shopping mall, or going on a shooting spree in a school, crashing a jetliner filled with people, or, frankly, flying over small Muslim villages to drop bombs wherever and whenever possible, regardless of the lives at stake, how is that the acceptance of destiny and self sacrifice, before the deprivation of one’s belief and cause? Was martyrdom even necessary?

  What is this need for long suffering and torment? Does pain and torture really bring someone to the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Of course, for this to occur we have to believe that god both decrees and condones Cain killing Abel. What is this entity called god? This question had plagued her, her whole life as she sought in every holy corner for the answer. That’s what she decided she must do, stare into the very guts of heaven to witness ‘he who sits upon the throne.’ Like Ezekiel she would seek out the Holy Merkabah.

  There are three truths of the human mind: Reality, Duality, and Rationale. Shirley was left to create an explanation for herself, so, she must rationalize her reality in the face of this duality to its concise point, so what is the point? A point in the infinite Universe will send out two other points from itself from both sides, and these two points will send out points in multiples of two, until they finally all meet again at their point of origin, this is the beginning of movement. The initial point is female, (Potential). Potential is presented as the womb. The two emitted points are also female, as they travel along the infinite creating eternity. The three together are one and moving, elongating, represented as the male (phallus). So this is where we all began. You are here in the infinite universe which contains an infinite number of possibilities. You are! So in this universe of infinite possibilities, all of which will come to pass, regardless of odds, how can you ever 'not be'?

  Rationale is everything, yet it is nothing at all. The one many people refer to as “God” seems to have given the human mind the ability to reason. A divine gift granted unto mankind to give him the freedom to decide between right and wrong, and allow him to make up his own mind and to choose which path they may want to follow. The conscience stays unaware, if one is unwilling to ask themselves those questions that have no answers, and then spend many sleepless nights trying to find the lessons meant to be learned from that which we will never understand. It’s a lust for life and a thirst for experience. It is not the thoughts of those great minds that have come before us. Do not let them fill your mind with the ideas that you, yourself, have not already thought of on those sleepless nights that gnaw at your consciousness. The greatest philosophers are those in which their nameless faces of reason create wee small voices within themselves. They are the simple people, stopping to eat from the plate of experience, feasting from a buffet that overflows with empirical knowledge, and then asks why? Every mind has a degree of awareness; it’s just whether you allow it to fully awaken and become lucid in the dream state, before the first rays of the sun paint the rosy cheeks, red upon the breathing beings of this, the everyday waking state, we call reality. For in truth, dreams are more real, the many questions plaguing the questioning mind can only be answered somewhere between the realms of dreams and the stagnant state of consciousness we call death.

  And now, as she continued to pack her wares for the long trip to the edge of an abyss, through sagebrush and bitterroot, the insidious face of the great serpent trying to block her view, she momentarily closed her eyes, opening them, only to scan the great expanse from the middle of the city, to the long outstretched arms of the Badlands, and thought, What can I do?

  Oh! - I know not what I can do, but I can try. I can give it a piece of my soul. Yes, I have something to give. They ask for something, I give them this. Purity, come unto me; expurgate my soul, let me taste innocence anew. Come! Come unto me! Free me from the corruption of the flesh.

  Of a sudden, she had the taste of tobacco in her mouth; she continued to muse on her calling. She was an inspirational speaker, she meditated and entered into a vision, she found herself in front of a large assembly of people, more people than she had ever spoken to at any one time;

  "Ladies and gentlemen, let us raise ourselves. Let us rise like steam from this fetid, rotting hell, this crooked foundation we have erected for ourselves. Remember the vision we had at the start of our quest; do not settle for simulations created by mankind. The realization of that vision is not something to be created, no mere digital or electronic gadget is going to take us to this summit, it is something to become. Shed your ungodly deeds and habits; Rip this crooked foundation an arm’s length out of the ground, let us start anew. To attain such a dream is to step into its skin. Come, men, women, children, and all in-between, let us exalt ourselves! You have forgotten the taste of purity; you have forgotten how savory and delicious it is! It is beyond all other flavors; it outstrips anything and everything in comparison, it is the greatest of epiphanies. Come! Mankind let us cleanse ourselves and become divine! Do not lose yourself;
come! May life truly enter into our souls! Let us once more become the pure innocent children of the earth! This is what she would ask of the Crystal, to give her purity of heart, and clarity of mind, for all mankind, for all eternity, before the very face of god....

  Spirit Guide

  Eagles’ spying on the ground Life is speaking, words profound. A little bleu, but I'm not down, Truth is the beauty that I feel.

  Happiness has come to win. Guide me time and time again. Show me now, just where and when, your presence is becoming real.