Birthing the Lucifer star

by donna bartley

  Chapter 14, Where to place the unsustainable light?

  While the woman standing in front of them appeared to be a whole new person, Ira managed to take in the fact that it was still Shirley Cohen standing in front of them. She had changed dramatically, but it was still her. It was still the young woman from the high security ward.

  “You are the fair maiden?” Ira asked, in his usual stoic tone. He was amazed that his voice remained so emotionless, even now, when he felt like he was falling head-over-heels in love with the being standing in front of him.

  “Yes.”

  “Prove it.”

  “Γιατί με θέλετε στο Ira Rosenfeld? Γιατί εάν εγώ? She was speaking Greek. Why do you want me to, Ira Rosenfeld? Why should I?"

  “Weil offensichtlich Sie mich Ihnen glauben wünschen…” Because you obviously want me to believe you..." Ira shot back in German.

  “For those who believe, no clarification is required, for those who do not, no answer would be sufficient!”

  Ira paused. There was no way this creature was plucking the answers from his head, as Shirley had done to the questions he had asked what felt like years ago.

  She appeared to think, though her face always held the same, stony expression. Soon, she nodded and pulled her head backwards, so her chin was almost parallel with the ceiling. Both arms seemed to be pulled backwards and she stood this way, on the tip of her toes, for a moment or two before a cold ice wind began to run around their ankles.

  And then she began to levitate.

  “Tittittittittittitt----sweeteetsweeteet---Towheetoweee—toweee”

  “What is that supposed to be?” Ira asked confused.

  “I am communicating with my feathered friends…..” Shirley’s voice trailed off. "Specifically I’m speaking with a grouse, a catbird and a titmouse.”

  “I suppose you can speak to lower life forms?” Ira asked facetiously.

  “You are under the false impression that humans are the highest life form on this planet, but you are quite mistaken; only humans reside in the fallen state, not the rest of God’s creation.”

  She hovered over them for over ten minutes, doing nothing other than that. As the two men stood there in awe, she turned her head to face the small round glass in the door on the far wall of the cell. The glass began to shake and convulse violently, as if it was being pushed and pulled by many pairs of invisible hands. Ira and Casper dove on the floor, hoping the guard heard the noise his eyes wandered up fearfully to the demonic specter hovering above his hunched over figure. No interruptions He realized. He had asked for no interruptions. No fucking interruptions! They were going to die in there in that room; where no one could hear you scream. The walls were thick steel in the cells with padding. No one could hear; no one would intervene. They were alone, totally and utterly alone, unless …He had seen a film with Rachel once, about demonic possession. He hadn’t thought it very good, but there was one thing he remembered. If only he could believe… Wait. Possession? But I don’t believe do I? He took a deep breath, and belted out the words he thought, hoped, prayed, and believed? Would work.

  “Our father, who art in Heaven,” She stopped laughing. “Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. She settled on the bed, eyes closed. Give us this day our daily bread and….”, and what?

  She sensed his weakness. He had forgotten it. He couldn’t even remember the next word. He was about to stand, when he heard Shirley continue, “….Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

  He finished the prayer with her, and surprised himself by genuflecting afterwards. While Shirley remained quiet and meditative upon her bed, Ira, the non believer, had to get out of the room immediately, he grabbed Casper’s arm and they fled the padded cell.

  “Ira, I am not possessed by a Demon, I stole the light of Lucifer, and carry it within me, I must find a fitting place to rid myself of it.” She spoke simply, quietly.

  Ira turned and looked Shirley in the face. “How do you expect me to believe that?”

  “I know it sounds insane, and I myself am seeking a moment of clarity, seeking one lucid moment of sanity, or solace, I cannot calm my mind, I am in utter turmoil, every receptor of my brain is in overdrive, too much knowledge, too much energy, my organic composition cannot sustain this much longer.” Shirley pleaded, “You must help me.”

  Ira could not fathom Shirley's predicament. He was a self proclaimed atheist, and this would take divine intervention. He motioned toward Casper,

  “Maybe you can help her?”

  Casper had no answer. “Well I’ll have to read up on a few things, I’m not sure where to begin, but perhaps something can be done to help this troubled young woman.”

  Shirley could only sustain this light for so long. The overload made her flee her physical body and she experienced out of body or night flight, to relieve herself from her physical predicament…from a cloud she watched the wind; no order, just eternal formations incessantly changing. The beauty of the ever-changing skyscape was ... heavenly, she thought, losing herself within the swirl as she flew above the creamy expanse. If she could only get to heaven, she could release Lucifer’s light… She would follow the calls of the catbird, as he offered her his form. She sensed the pack and flew faster to get a glimpse….

  Suddenly she felt, a shattering shock. Pain ripped violently through her delicate catbird body. Blood, dripping relentlessly down her feathers, drenching them crimson.

  Bone, grinding and scraping within her wings, she had heard the grouse, the titmouse, the cry of the wolfpack beckon to her, told her where to go to be healed…….she had almost made it, had followed the calls…heard the howl of the great medicine man....

  The clouds, so magnificent, did nothing to hinder her spiraling descent from the skies above. Out of control, falling fast, the fear of God touched Shirley’s heart for the first time in her whole existence.

  A thought occurred to her as she went into free fall, was she pushed?

  Wind shrieking though the tatters of her broken wings, she closed her eyes and awaited the inevitable impact.

  Slamming into the earth with such terrible force, excruciating agony blasted through her fractured form. Quivering and screeching out her suffering, yet no one responded to her cries for help.

  Eventually she was well enough to slowly walk away, leaving a trail of yellow and red feathers in her wake. She walked among the living, looking for help. Still hurting, she reached for the way back to the heavenly skies, to her only peaceful existence; her ruined wings would never take her home. Despair crept like a thief into her heart, her expectations gone, and her vision mortally wounded. As she was once broken of body, she was now broken of spirit. Head hanging low, dejected in self-pity, the fair maiden almost didn't hear the stranger approach.

  "You are lost?" the stranger asked her, but perhaps it wasn't such a question. He was that tall blonde haired man, a strange aura surrounding him, a taste of something other. She looked at him through her tears; saw that difference within him, yet the keenness of being the same. There was definitely a connection. He was the handsome blonde haired man of her dreams… But could she trust him?

  "I've lost my way and I'm trying to get back home," she slowly shared with him, half expecting him to laugh and walk away deriding her. But all he said was "I know." She looked into his eyes, as he went on, "I will help you if you help me."

  “I have this light, the only place to keep it was in my stomach, so I swallowed it, and now, I am seeking a place to let it out, then I will be free....”

  Crying tears of joy, she wondered, was this the same stranger that had frequented her dreams for so long? She reached out a hand to touch him, to see if he was real.

  Pure
agony screamed through her, jolting the angel back from her ... Maitreya? The blackened flesh of her hand matched the flesh on his arm where she had touched him what had happened? Her heart sank, somehow it knew the hidden truth which she did not, something was very wrong.

  His visage shimmered and changed in front of Shirley’s disbelieving eyes. The great serpent stood in its place, darkly glowing eyes and wicked horns crowned his brow. But that diabolical face contorted in torture, the creature rubbing his cloven hand over the smoking flesh, charred by the touch of this fair maiden, as she had been hurt, looking at the wisps of smoke curling from her burnt fingers, by contact with the serpent himself.

  The horror in her heart overrode her hurt hand; she felt betrayed yet again. "Creator of purgatory, what would you know about the way home? What else would I expect from someone such as you, but a corruption of goodness, deceptions and lies, a tempter, a monster who leads the children of men, astray?" She spoke coldly, angry now, in righteous wrath.

  The keen eyed one stood as he had before. "You are right about Heaven. I do not know the way. I have not been there for a very long time." His voice remained calm - with a note that seemed disingenuous. "Shirley ... as much as you do not trust me, I am still willing to help you find a place for that light that you hold within you.”

  "Angel ...” He whispered, then a long, drawn out pause,. I look to find a higher path rather than the path of evil. In helping you maybe you can help me, I journey also. I wish to go home, the path shall be different and I fear more tumultuous, but I want to dedicate myself to the creation of a new form of being, higher than I am now, and be utterly consumed in the process.”

  How could she trust him? But what other choice did she have? The light within her was destroying her physical composition, but somehow she felt revitalized about her quest. "Very well, Uktena, I will believe you; trust you, although my logic and common sense tells me not, my heart tells me to give you a chance."

  The serpent nodded, silently thankful. "The way to release my…er…I mean the light... I have been here upon this world for a long time. I have seen many things here. You are just learning, maybe you should allow the light to guide you.”

  This gave Shirley pause. "I'm not sure if I can find a way to release this light. I’m looking for a place where the light could be used for the welfare of all mankind. Maybe you could show me what this light has already done?”

 

  With an over dramatic nod to the skies, Uktena sarcastically proclaimed, "Light bearer, you do not make it easy for me. But I suppose salvation through sacrifice is the ultimate goal. I may not have 'divine inspiration' as to where you should release this light, but I can hazard a few guesses. I will show you what my light has already done."

  He led her to a place of great greed and wealth, where men seek control and power over the earth. The stock exchange on Wall Street was a hive of frantic activity. Mounds of Ticker tape told the story of their ‘futures’. Barely heard above the din of gaining and loosing, the demon spoke, "The mortal dream of such power and the control it brings. They are afraid of the chaos of their lives, and this control makes them safe and secure. Is this a good place to release the light?" “No it is an unsustainable light!” But I grant this power and glory to them because they worship me, but I pity them, their light is dying, sure you could leave the light here, but it would be ill used. In truth they would love such control, they seek their peace in it, but they are the ones controlled. At the mercy of the whim of their false god, that would be me, they sold their souls. Now I do not want them. I gave them, power, control, and wealth beyond their wildest dreams, and in return they worshipped me, but it is a lesser light, a flash bang, then gone. The sad truth is they keep coming back here, through their ‘divine bloodline,’ life after life through me, through the dark night, sure I gave them that knowledge too, and that lesser light, but their time is through.”

  Shirley was shocked by the Serpent’s candor. Next stop, they witnessed a place of glamour and beauty, fame, and fortune. They stood upon the Walk of Fame at Grauman’s Chinese theater, a parade of Hollywood’s elite exhibiting their vanity, blinding the hawks and buzzards surrounding them, watching, and salivating. Reporters and paparazzi swarmed around the ‘stars’ snapping roll after roll of film as the music played, the commentary went on as Uktena spoke. "Look at these actors and actresses, the idols of millions – beauty in face and form, the mortal dreams of such love and admiration given to them as such objects of splendor. Exquisite, are they not? They flaunt their beautiful bodies, and they want the world to bow down to them and worship them in adoration and praise...But then they grow old, and their beauty fades…and they become ordinary. It is to the false god of Vanity that would be me, to which they pray. But this light is the lesser light, it is not sustainable, they call themselves stars, and create a walk of fame…but their stars do not shine in the heavens…..they might fantasize that they do…..but they too have sold their souls just to shine for their ten minutes of fame in the lesser light……pathetic fallen creatures, chasing the beast, the unsustainable light....”

  Shirley replied, “You sound more like the ‘grim reaper’.”

  The keen eyed one flicked his split tongue in contemplation, "Come with me, Shirley." He led her to a place of filth, and misery, the inner city slums. They came upon a dirty tenement in the middle of the Ghetto where the dejected residents plodded grimly, broken dregs of society living in dire poverty, suffering to slowly live out their downtrodden lives. In contrast with the prior two places, it was deadly quiet. And, to match the difference of surroundings, instead of speaking of this place as paradise lost, the serpent stood mute.

  Confused, the fair maiden asked her guide "Why did you bring me here? Is this the result of your light also?”

  But all he offered in his defense was one word. “Shh shush, listen."

  Curious, the light bearer did so. In the seemly unending silence, she heard something unexpected and melodious, a group of children singing a joyful song. Curiosity led her onwards, and she laid her almost unbelieving eyes on children singing in what remained of a burned out building, in the middle of the slum and they were singing, harmonizing and the sound was greater than any angelic choir.

  As Shirley continued to gaze upon this incredible sight, the demon's voice drifted out softly to her. "Them. They are the reason I led you here. Look at their surroundings - everything, the place, the people - radiates wretched defeat. Yet there is still hope." The serpent's voice held a strange note, a note of reverence and awe. "They are luminaries in the pit of the little Hell that they live in. I come here often; sometimes I feel they are the very last hope of this world. Listen to them sing, they have found happiness in the terrible throes of sadness….they do what any caged bird would do….they sing. This is where hope springs eternal, this is the eternal light, and the sustainable light…..this truly is what God sends to darkened stars to make them gleam.” He admitted, his voice tinged with jealousy.

  She could hear the tears in his voice, knew of his own despair, the likely futility of him ever leaving the earth.

  "There is no place to rest this light. Not here. This lesser light has brought nothing but misery" Shirley surmised. “This lesser light is a curse, the ruin and bane of mankind."

  The serpent smiled at his own slyness, he smiled at the audacity of hope. "So where do you think the light should shine?" quizzed the ever slippery serpent.

  Shirley had an idea. But she said nothing. She needed to get out of the padded cell, as soon as possible.

  How thow hast fallen,

  Lucifer, you ought to feel ashamed.

  The morning star no longer in the game

  I see you now, the fallen one in chains

  still pointing that accusing finger to lay blame.

  An old hand now, who, through the years, has learned

 
his job to point in the direction, why not that?

  Your legion's weak, their scheming soon discerned:

  their selfishness, their vanity, their doubt.

  Temptation, the trick you used to play

  you peer from Hell, to higher realms, and sigh.

  Carrots, strings and axes put away

  your stern facade slips. You wipe tears from your 'eye'

  And grasped in your hand, man's lone unsettled debt:

  twice bitten, the core you won’t forget.