by Nora Phoenix
Ruari’s frown intensified. “I’m not sure that applies here.”
Palani reconsidered it. “You think?”
“Look, I’m not in a relationship like that, not even close, but if you went to Bray with info like that about me and not to me directly, I would be mad as hell for not being taken seriously as an omega. You can’t bypass him with something this big, this life-changing. He’s stronger than you think, you know. Hell, he survived the attack and it didn’t harm the baby. We’re not quite that fragile…”
When he put it like that, it made total sense. God, was he glad he’d asked for his advice before taking action. Even with the best intentions, he could’ve royally fucked up there. It frustrated him, how hard these things were to navigate.
Palani blew out a deep breath. “Even for me, it’s not always easy to make the right call,” he admitted.
“No, but you’re trying and to me, that makes all the difference.”
Palani rose to his feet. “Thank you for your input.”
“Are you gonna talk to him?”
Palani considered it, then decided he wanted to get it over with. He had too much to focus on to stall this any longer. “Yeah. Wish me luck.”
With Ruari’s well-wishes following him, he headed for the kitchen, where he’d last spotted Sven. The omega was reading a magazine at the kitchen table, while keeping half an eye on a large pot of soup.
“Hey,” Palani said. “Do you have a minute?”
Sven looked curious as he pushed his magazine away. “Sure. That soup needs to cook for another half hour at least, so I’m not going anywhere.”
Palani took a deep breath, then decided to come right out with it. “Sven, Sando has found your birth family through the gene carrier research.”
Sven paled, his hand gripping the edge of the table. “Oh god,” he said, then again, “Oh god.”
Palani put his hand on the omega’s in support, sitting quietly with him while he watched a hundred different emotions flash over the omega’s face.
“Is it…is it a good family? Do I want to know them?” Sven finally asked.
Before he could answer, Grayson stormed into the kitchen. “Are you okay?” he asked Sven, and Palani rolled his eyes at himself. Of course the alpha would sense something was wrong with his omega through their bond. How stupid of him to not take that into consideration.
“The choice is yours, Sven,” he said softly.
“I want my daddy to know,” Sven said immediately.
“What did you say to him?” Grayson snarled, and Palani found himself facing one very angry alpha.
He slowly rose to his feet, not intimidated by the older man who towered over him. “Keep your temper in check,” he told him. “I understand your concern, and I get it, but at least give me the courtesy of listening first.”
“Start talking then, and make it fast.” Grayson’s voice was cold as ice. “If you hurt him, I swear, you’ll answer for it.”
Palani shook his head. “That’s not how this works. I don’t answer to you.”
“Daddy,” Sven said. “You don’t understand. Palani made the right call.”
That got Grayson’s attention. “What’s wrong, pup? What happened?” he said, and Palani was glad to see both his voice and attitude soften when he addressed his boy.
“Please, sit down, Daddy,” Sven said, and as soon as Grayson did, he climbed on his lap. He was smart, Palani thought, immediately calming the man with his presence. He lowered himself in his chair again as well.
“Sando found my birth parents,” Sven said. “Palani was just about to tell me who they are.”
Grayson’s eyes widened in shock, then found Palani’s, who managed to keep the smugness off his face. He opened his mouth to say something when Lars ran into the kitchen, all sweaty and dirty, with his boots still on.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Palani muttered, then when Lars shot him a dark look, he said, “He’s okay. I had some news to tell him and if you could all just shut up and actually let me tell him, this would go much faster.”
Lars, apparently not caring he was dirty and tracking shit all over the floor—which he could damn well clean up himself, Palani thought—found a spot on Grayson’s other knee after kissing both his daddy and Sven. Palani took a deep breath, telling himself it wasn’t their fault, and that they were understandably concerned.
“Sven, remember the McCain family? The one I wrote about, who started my whole investigation into the Melloni gene? Sando has concluded with ninety-nine percent certainty that you’re Gillian McCain’s son.”
Sven’s eyes filled with tears. “I have a mom?”
“You do,” Palani said, his voice warm. “But Sven, and I’m so sorry about this, you also had two brothers, but both passed away.”
His eyes spilled over now. “They killed themselves, right?”
Palani nodded. “I’m so sorry. Colton was your oldest brother. It was his death notice that started my whole investigation. Enar actually met him, as he was a patient of his. And your brother Adam, who was less than a year older than you, worked as a nurse’s aide in a nursing home.”
“D-do you think my mom would want to meet me?” Sven asked, his voice small.
“I think she’d be blown away to hear from you,” Palani said. “You know adoption records are always sealed, so even if she tried, she would’ve never found you on her own.”
Sven leaned against Lars, sobbing. “I n-never thought I’d find them, my birth parents,” he said between big sobs.
“I’m gonna give you some time to process, and when you’re ready, we’ll decide on how to tell her, okay?” Palani said.
Sven nodded, then buried his face against Lars’s shoulder again. Palani got up from the table to leave them by themselves, emotionally drained and frustrated with himself for not handling this better.
“Hold up one second, please,” Grayson said, and when Palani turned around, Grayson extricated himself from his two boys.
“What?” Palani asked, straining to keep his voice polite.
“I owe you one hell of an apology,” Grayson said, looking ashamed. “I jumped to conclusions, and I was so, so wrong.”
Palani rubbed his temples, suddenly so very tired. “You know, every problem ends up at my feet, and I solve it the best I can. I work my ass off, fixing everything for everyone, and it’s my honor and pleasure, and I seriously don’t need gratitude all the time. But would it fucking kill you, after everything I’ve done and everything that you know about me, to give me the benefit of the doubt rather than storming in and demanding my head before you even know what’s going on? You have a nasty temper, man, and it’s not the first time we’re pointing this out to you.”
Grayson’s jaw tightened. “Can we not do this in front of my boys?” he asked.
“Why?” Palani asked. “You had no issue tearing me a new one in front of them, but when I do the same to you, we need to take it elsewhere? Talk about a massive double standard.”
Behind him, he heard a gasp, but he didn’t care anymore. “You know, I’m getting tired of the fact that you alphas say we should treat everyone as equals, but when we actually do that, we get shit from you because you indirectly claim alpha privilege after all. I had something that concerned Sven directly, and I went to him, and you don’t get to get angry with me over that, just like you don’t get to be angry when I call you out on your attitude toward me in front of your boys. You wanna shout equality for all? This is it, man. You don’t get to cherry-pick which parts of equality you like and which you reject because they offend you or hurt your pride.”
He left Grayson standing with his mouth open and turned around, only to see Lidon standing right behind him. “Come with me,” the alpha said.
Palani crossed his arms. “Really? Another alpha who thinks he can tell me what to do?”
“Palani…” Lidon simply said, and that one word carried so much meaning that he crumbled.
“Fine, whatever,” he mumbl
ed, following Lidon into their bedroom. His shoulders dropped. God, he was gonna get it now, the pack alpha’s wrath for going too far. Or his mate’s wrath, and the truth was that the second one would hurt much more.
Lidon closed the door behind him, and Palani’s heart sank. Then the alpha kneeled at his feet, untying his shoes. “Lift your foot,” he said, and Palani was too dumbstruck to even protest. Before he knew it, Lidon had taken off his shoes and his shorts, leaving him in his shirt and boxers. He grabbed Palani’s wrist, and he allowed himself to be pulled toward the bed, where Lidon pushed back the covers and gestured Palani to get in.
“I don’t…” he said, completely confused.
“Get in,” Lidon said, his voice so friendly that Palani got even more confused.
He got in, not knowing what else to do, and to his surprise, Lidon kicked off his shoes and shorts as well, then crawled in bed next to him. He held his arms open, and without thinking, Palani rolled into his embrace, putting his head on the man’s strong shoulder. He didn’t even realize he was crying until he felt the wetness on his cheeks, and Lidon’s arms tightened around him.
“You’ve been so strong, taking care of everything and everyone, my beta. You don’t lean easily, and I get it. But you’re tired, sweetheart,” Lidon whispered, and Palani’s tears came faster. “It’s been a lot, and you’ve been worrying about everyone. About your brother and his relationship, about Sven and the news you had to tell him, about the newcomers and whether they’d fit in, about possible new attacks and threats you’ve overlooked, about Duer and Naran and that guard kid who’s still being a pain in the ass…and everyone comes to you with their problems, including me, because you’re so damn good at fixing things. But who fixes you when it gets to be too much, sweetheart? Who do you lean on when you start to crumble?”
“I don’t want to let you down,” Palani said, his throat hurting from the pain inside.
“You could never let me down. And you don’t have to work twice as hard anymore just because you’re a beta. You don’t have to prove yourself anymore.”
Tears made way for sobs that tore through his body, hurting so much he wanted to scream. “I’m sorry,” he cried.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Lidon said, that strong voice wrapping around him, giving him power.
“I’m so tired,” he said, his voice hoarse.
“I know. So you’ll sleep, and I’ll stay with you.”
“I can’t. I have too much to do,” Palani protested, even though his eyes were already closing on their own accord.
“No, you don’t. We can handle it. Go to sleep, sweetheart. I’m right here with you.”
“Don’t leave me,” he said before closing his eyes completely, safe in his alpha’s love and strength.
“Never,” Lidon whispered, pressing a soft kiss in his hair, and Palani allowed himself to be pulled under.
He woke up what had to be hours later, when Lidon handed him over to Enar, and then fell right back asleep again, safe with his other mate. Then it was Vieno’s turn and he kissed Palani, making him cry again with his sweetness, then cuddled with him until he slept again, surrendering to the bone-deep tiredness that wouldn’t let up.
19
Grayson was hiding outside in a quiet spot near the brook where Jawon had been buried, hoping to avoid everyone. The confrontation with Palani had left him shaken to his core. Never before had another man spoken to him like that, let alone a beta, and when Grayson realized he was more upset about the second than about the first, he’d been deeply disappointed in himself. He’d told Lars and Sven—both of whom had noticed how thrown off-kilter he was—that he needed some time alone to regroup, and he’d fled here.
He’d been drawn to this place even before they’d chosen it as the final resting place for Jawon, a simple headstone now marking his grave. Grayson had always felt the power here, despite the peaceful scenery. The earth felt strong here, vibrant, and he’d often sat here ruminating on a story he’d been writing and gotten fantastic ideas.
He heard footsteps and turned around, frustrated someone had interrupted his solitude.
“I thought I’d find you here,” Bray said.
“I’m not in a good mood,” Grayson warned him.
Bray lowered himself on the grass next to him. “I didn’t think you would be, not after what I heard went down.”
Grayson studied him for a few seconds, looking for any indication of mockery or glee, but didn’t find any. “If anyone had reason to gloat right now, it would be you,” he said with a sigh, resting his head on his pulled-up knees as he looked at Bray.
“Why me?” Bray asked, surprise clear in his voice.
“Because I chewed you out for being arrogant, and now I was accused of the exact same thing. Kinda the pot calling the kettle black.”
Bray nodded slowly. “Was he right, Palani?”
Grayson let out another deep sigh. “As much as it pains me to admit it, I think he was. About my temper, at least, and not giving him the benefit of the doubt. He deserved so much better than that, and he was right for calling me out.”
“And about the alpha privilege thing?” his son asked, not sparing him the tough questions.
“How do you know about this, anyway?” Grayson asked, avoiding answering for now.
Bray shrugged. “Ruari knew Palani needed to talk to Sven about something, and he listened in, wanting to make sure Sven would be okay. He heard the whole thing.”
It shamed Grayson that others had heard about it, had learned how badly he’d behaved. “I need to apologize to Palani.”
“Not anytime soon. He’s asleep.”
“Asleep?”
Bray nodded. “Kean checked in with Enar, and he said Lidon had taken Palani to bed and forced him to sleep. Apparently, he was exhausted.”
Oh great, now Grayson felt even more like an asshole. “No wonder, he’s been working his tail off.”
“Yes.” Bray packed a world of meaning in that one word, and Grayson couldn’t help but smile.
“You can’t tell me you’re not enjoying this even a little bit,” he told Bray. “To see the roles reversed.”
“You know, I thought I would, but I’m not. I’m frustrated.”
Grayson raised an eyebrow at that unexpected answer.
“I’ve always looked up to you, and I thought you were as close to the perfect alpha as it could get, Dad. And then to discover that even you get it wrong, it’s disheartening for me. If an alpha like you fucks up like this, how will I ever manage to get it right?”
Grayson’s shoulders dropped low, as if weight had just been piled on. “You can’t be more disappointed in me than I am in myself,” he said, his voice soft. “I’ve been going over it in my head, and I can’t figure out how I could let this happen. I respect the hell out of Palani, and I pride myself on being such an advocate for equal rights between alphas, betas, and omegas…but when my position was challenged, I hit back with alpha privilege.”
Bray let out a soft gasp. “So Palani was right about that.”
Grayson forced the word out. “Yes. You have no idea how much it hurts to admit that, Bray. I thought I was better than this, that I was above this. I have some serious groveling to do, and I can only hope he’ll accept my apology.”
“He will.”
Grayson looked at his son inquisitively. “How can you be so sure of that? It’s not the first time my temper and alpha arrogance got the best of me, and I’m sure there’s a limit to how forgiving the pack alpha and his men are.”
Bray sent him a smile that made Grayson curious, as if his son knew something he didn’t. “Nope, that’s not how it works,” Bray said. “Ruari told me that as long as you’re truly sorry, people will forgive you, and the depth of forgiveness you experience will be equal to the amount of guilt you feel.”
Grayson let that sink in. “That’s pretty deep.”
Bray nodded. “Plus, Palani is a Hightower. They forgive easily, so I’m discover
ing.”
Grayson smiled. Kean was good for Bray, there was no denying that. The stubborn beta was the perfect match for his equally hard-headed son. “And to think that I looked down on you for being such an alpha ass at times.”
Bray rolled his eyes. “You and everyone else.”
“Not anymore,” Grayson assured him.
“No?” There was joy in Bray’s voice.
“You’ve changed,” Grayson told his son. “More than I had ever thought possible. It’s amazing to see you with Kean and Ruari, with Jax.”
“It’s because of them,” Bray said, and that statement proved to Grayson how far he’d come.
“You love them,” he said.
Bray blinked a few times. “Dad, can I ask you something about that?”
“Mmm.”
“How do you know when you love someone? I mean, like in love?” Bray asked. “Like with Daddy or with Lars and Sven, how did you know you loved them?”
Grayson thought it telling that Bray mentioned his daddy in the same breath as Lars and Sven, not only another big signal that he was changing, but also that he was accepting Grayson’s new relationship.
“God, Bray, your daddy and I were so young. I’m not sure I loved him when we married, but I grew to love him after. Ours was a warm love, a comfortable one. He was such a great daddy to you and Lucan, and it still breaks my heart that he never got to see you grow up.”
“I wish I remembered him,” Bray said wistfully. “I have fragments of memories, of feeling loved by him, of cuddling and hugging, but not more than that.”
Grayson smiled. “He was big on cuddling, would touch me all day if he could.”
“Is—Is it different with Lars and Sven?”
“Yes,” Grayson said without a doubt. “Very different. I’m not the same man, and the dynamics are completely different. But Sven, he has that same sweetness and joy that Brannon, your daddy, had. Lars is…a little different.”
Bray snickered, but it wasn’t mean. “I’ll say.”
Grayson shrugged. “I like the challenge.”
