Still the One

by Michelle Major

  The older woman nodded and scurried to the conference table. Ethan held out a chair for her then took a seat, as well.

  Lainey picked up the stack of agendas and began passing them out, feeling suddenly like she could handle anything this town threw at her. “Let’s get started. We’ve got a lot to cover.”

  Chapter Seven

  The automatic door at the front of the hospital slid open. Lainey walked out of the sweltering summer heat and into the cool lobby.

  Julia stood near the entrance, a cell phone pressed to her ear. A man in blue scrubs tripped over a wheelchair coming off the elevator as he craned his neck to get a better look. Julia could turn more heads seven months pregnant than Lainey would covered head to toe in whipped cream and caramel syrup.

  “Are you ready to head up?” Lainey asked when Julia was finished. She bounced on her toes, too exhilarated from her success that morning to indulge long in comparisons to her sister.

  “Sure thing. How was the meeting?” Julia dug through her purse, her long hair draped over her cheek like a curtain.

  “Pretty good once Ida Vassler pulled in her claws.” They turned and walked toward the elevator. “Ethan was there,” Lainey added quickly. “Probably more as a favor to Mom, but it helped.”

  “She’ll be happy.” Julia punched the elevator button.

  “Do you think...” Lainey started then broke off when Julia finally met her gaze. “What’s the matter?”

  The elevator door opened but instead of getting on, Julia whirled and fled down a long hallway off the hospital’s main lobby. Lainey followed her into the women’s restroom.

  Julia stood with her hands gripped on either side of a metal sink. She bent so far forward Lainey couldn’t see her face, but in the mirror’s reflection tears dripped off the tip of Julia’s nose.

  “What happened?”

  “Hormones,” Julia said around a gulp. “I’m fine. I just need a minute.”

  “Liar.” Lainey’s voice echoed in the small space. “This has something to do with that phone call. Is everything all right with the baby?” Lainey’s heart hammered in her chest, her eyes riveted to Julia’s stomach.

  Julia grabbed a wad of paper towels from the dispenser and blew her nose. “Are we alone?”

  Lainey checked under each stall. “Yes.”

  “I tried to register for Lamaze class.” Julia dabbed at her cheeks.

  “So? That’s what pregnant women do.”

  “They won’t let me. I don’t have a coach.”

  “You said Jeff is coming when his research wraps up. It won’t be long now.”

  Julia’s face crumbled, and she covered it with her hands. “I did a bad thing,” she said between sobs.

  Lainey wasn’t sure what to do. She’d never seen her sister like this. She took a hesitant step forward and reached out to touch Julia’s elbow.

  “It’ll be okay. Once Jeff gets here—”

  Julia rubbed her hands over her face. “Jeff didn’t go to Brazil for the summer. He took a job there. He’s gone.”

  Lainey’s brows drew together. “What about you and the baby?”

  “You really didn’t get pregnant to trap Ethan, did you?”

  Relief skittered across the back of Lainey’s neck. She wanted to think it didn’t matter that anyone believed her. But it did. It always had. “No. I would never—”

  “Well, I did. And it blew up in my face.”

  Lainey’s jaw went slack. “You...why?”

  “We dated for three years. I followed him from New York to Boston to Columbus. Anywhere work took him. But he wouldn’t commit, wouldn’t marry me.” Julia’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. “I gave him an ultimatum. That’s when he told me he’d taken a research position in Brazil. He knew I wouldn’t go with a baby.” Her smile was sad. “Smooth move, huh?”

  The floor shifted under Lainey’s feet as her whole world started to spin. “Why haven’t you told anyone?”

  “Come on, Lainey. I was so mad at you for stealing Ethan. But when Jeff wouldn’t give me what I wanted, I figured it worked for you, why not me?”

  Lainey shook her head. “I didn’t steal Ethan and it didn’t work for me. He felt like he had to marry me and I couldn’t live with that. I couldn’t force him into a life he didn’t want when he would have ended up with you if he’d had a choice.”

  “Do you still believe that?” Julia asked.

  “Don’t you?” Lainey shot back.

  “You say he was forced, but he had a choice.”

  Right. Ethan was one of the good ones. No matter how much he’d hurt her, Lainey couldn’t forget she’d brought it on herself. “What are you going to do now?”

  “Do they have escort services for baby daddies?” Julia gave a harsh bark of laughter.

  “Isn’t there someone else?” Fear rose in Lainey’s belly as Ethan’s face flashed through her mind.

  “I was going to tell Mom, ask for her help but—”

  “Mom doesn’t know?”

  “No one knows,” Julia said, her voice flat. “You’re the only one I’ve told.”

  “I could help.” Lainey looked around the bathroom, wondering who’d said those words. She had looked under the stalls, right?

  “You’d do that for me?”

  No way. Don’t do it. You have to get the heck out of this town. “I can make it work.”

  “It wouldn’t be too weird?”

  Getting beamed up by the mother ship was weird. This was downright suicidal. “I know I’m not your favorite person in the world, but if you need me I’m here.”

  Tears welled in her sister’s big eyes. “Thank you.”

  The restroom door opened and a middle-aged woman walked in, pausing as she caught sight of Lainey and Julia. She raised her eyebrows then shuffled into one of the stalls.

  Lainey stepped up to a sink. “Can we get out of here?” she asked, using her fingertips to splash lukewarm water on her face.

  Julia nodded.

  As Lainey reached for a paper towel, Julia’s arm wrapped around her shoulder. “I can’t tell you how much you’re saving my life right now. To feel like I’m not alone...it means everything.”

  Lainey hugged her back. She couldn’t remember another time when she’d hugged her sister. Not once. It felt strange but somehow right.

  The toilet flushed and Julia moved away. “Enough bonding in the bathroom. Let’s go.”

  Lainey punched the elevator button for the third floor, wondering if she was having some sort of out-of-body experience. She’d just agreed to be her sister’s birthing coach. She was going to help Julia with her breathing, calm her nerves. Be there every step of the way. Including the delivery room. The actual birth and the blood. All of it.

  Her stomach lurched and not from the elevator’s movement. She saw Julia glance at her and tried to keep her features calm. She’d seen a few live births with animals while on assignment, and even that had overwhelmed her. It was too much—having it right in front of her face. It was so...real.

  Not a great trait in a nature photographer. She could handle death—watching a pride of lions take down a wildebeest didn’t faze her. A cub coming into the world was another story. Too big a reminder of what she’d never have.

  How much harder would it be with her sister’s baby?

  “Are you coming?”

  Lainey blinked and saw Julia standing outside the elevator, one hand holding back the sliding door.

  She stepped into another hospital corridor. “I brought the nail polish she wanted.”

  “Ah, spa day.” Julia patted her large tote bag. “I have stuff for facials. And my scissors.”

  Lainey’s heart pumped the tiniest bit faster. “Your scissors?”

  “Mom told
me I’m cutting your hair.”

  “I don’t know...”

  Julia shrugged one shoulder. “It’s up to you.”

  “I’ve worn my hair like this since sixth grade,” Lainey said, fingering one long lock.

  Julia grinned. “That’s sort of the point.”

  “But it’s so curly. What if I end up looking like Shirley Temple? Or maybe you don’t remember my third grade picture.”

  In front of Vera’s room, Julia turned. “Give me a little credit, would you?”

  “Sorry,” Lainey mumbled, still not convinced she needed to change her hairstyle. Then she remembered Ethan’s warm hands when he’d held her head and said he’d loved her hair, making it so hard for her to keep distant from him.

  She sucked in a breath as sparks danced across her belly. “You’re right.” She pushed open the door. “Cut it all off.”

  * * *

  The smell of cheap cologne and stale beer assaulted her as she walked into Cowboys two nights later. Her fingers fluttered up to rub her bare neck. Although she’d cut almost six inches, true to her word Julia had given Lainey layers that somehow made her typically errant corkscrews relax into soft ringlets around her face. It just wasn’t her. Or who she used to be.

  Even her clothes felt different. Tonight she wore a sleeveless jersey-knit top and a dark blue miniskirt with a pair of black cowboy boots.

  It was only nine o’clock but already a decent-size group of people crowded around the large bar that spanned the length of the room. On the walls, neon beer signs mixed with concert posters for various country singers, mostly Willie Nelson and Toby Keith. A dozen couples two-stepped around the wide wood-plank dance floor to a popular country ballad she recognized but couldn’t quite name.

  She scanned the crowd for a familiar face, but her gaze caught on an oversize mechanical bull in the corner, surrounded by what looked like a bed of stuffed potato sacks.

  “You ever ridden one?” a voice asked close to her ear. She jumped what felt like ten feet then whirled to find Tim Reynolds at her side.

  “Geez, Tim. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” Adjusting her purse tighter against her side, she said, “No, I’ve never ridden a bull—mechanical or otherwise. I saw them run once.”

  He blinked.

  “You know, in Barcelona.” She forced a smile. “I’m a little out of my element here. You’re not helping by staring at me.”

  “Sorry. I still can’t get over how great it is to see you. But where’s your hair?”

  “Julia cut it.” She tried to hide her irritation. Tim had been her friend forever. He’d been the last person she’d seen before leaving Brevia and had been kind to her when she’d needed it most. She’d run into him a few times since coming back but found it difficult to slip into the easy camaraderie of youth. Maybe his time away from Brevia had changed him. Or maybe the change was in her. But something no longer fit.

  “It looked better longer, like you wore it in high school.”

  “I’ve grown up.” She blew out a breath. “It was time for my style to do the same. I travel too much for my job to fuss with long hair.”

  “I’d like to get out of town more.” He took a drink of his beer. “I’m thinking of trying freelance magazine work. Running the paper is great, but I miss digging into research, interviewing sources. Nothing that would take me away too long, but I want the chance to do in-depth reporting. Something that really matters, like the work you do.”

  “That’s exciting.” She tried to focus on him while scanning over his shoulder for someone she recognized. “What did you have in mind?”

  “Maybe National Geographic. We could coordinate a piece together. I’d love to take you out to dinner to get your advice. We have so much in common, Lainey. We always have.”

  “Oh.” She didn’t know how to answer. Tim had been a good friend. She supposed the least she owed him was dinner, but something about the look in his eye told her he wanted more than she could give him. “That would be fun,” she said, thinking it sounded lame.

  He didn’t seem to notice. “Awesome. It’s a date then.”

  She shifted under his gaze. “Have you seen Steph? I’m supposed to meet her.”

  He shook his head. “I want you to know something—”

  At that moment a familiar voice rang out through the crowd. “Lainey, over here!”

  Lainey looked around Tim to see Steph waving a leopard-print cowboy hat from one of the tables near the bar.

  “There she is.” Lainey breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Great,” Tim said, his tone disappointed. “I’ll see you later.”

  Lainey had a vision of Tim walking through the high school hallways alone. He’d had trouble finding his place. She could sympathize now as much as she did then. “A few people from the clinic are getting together,” she said on a whim. “Do you want to go over with me?”

  His face brightened. “Are you sure? I don’t want to be a fifth wheel.”

  Lainey knew all too well what it felt like to not fit in. “I’m sure.”

  She wound her way through the people until she found Steph.

  “Hey, lady,” Steph hollered above the music. “It’s Saturday night. Let’s start this party.” She did a little shimmy with her hips then tugged Lainey into a hug.

  Lainey laughed. It was the same line Steph had used every weekend during high school. Exhilaration hummed through Lainey at being part of the mix.

  Several groups of clinic staff stood around two tall bar tables. She greeted people and drew Tim forward, making introductions.

  “You know Tim,” she said, turning to Steph.

  “Sure.” Steph’s eyes widened just a touch. “You need a drink, girl.” She grabbed Lainey by the arm and yanked her to the bar. “Are you with him?”

  “With Tim?” She laughed. “No. I ran into him when I got here.”

  “Good. You need to keep your options open.”

  I don’t have options, Lainey thought.

  Then Steph gestured with two fingers toward the bartender. “I’m so excited you’re here.”

  “Me, too.” Lainey smiled, letting her mind drift from Tim. “Thanks for not holding a grudge that I haven’t kept in touch.”

  “What happened to you sucked.” Steph leaned forward to plant a kiss on Lainey’s cheek. “I might have flipped out, too, if I’d been in your shoes.”

  Flipped out? Lainey had never thought of her reaction to events of that summer in those terms. She’d simply left, moved on with her life without looking back.

  Or had she? She’d made something out of her professional life, but it was a different story on the personal front. She had a couple of friends at a gallery in Santa Fe, but they were more business associates.

  The longest she’d had a boyfriend in the past decade had been about seven months, mostly via phone and email because of her travel schedule. She’d ended it as soon as he’d started talking about the future and a family.

  She knew the truth ten years ago. She was far too broken for anyone to want to be with her. She wouldn’t take the chance of trusting another man with her heart. Ever.

  She looked down as Steph pushed a tall glass into her hand. “What’s this?”

  “A Cowboy Kamikaze.” Steph wiggled her eyebrows. “The house specialty.”

  “I’m not much of a drinker,” Lainey said with a grimace, eyeing the frozen concoction.

  “Try it,” Steph urged.

  With one finger, Lainey pushed the paper umbrella out of the way and took a tentative sip from the straw. Smooth, sweet liquid slid over her tongue. “It doesn’t taste like alcohol.”

  “A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down.” Steph winked. “In the most delightful way.” She held her glass aloft. “To old friends and new adve
ntures.”

  Lainey clinked her glass against Steph’s. “To old friends,” she repeated.

  Both women sucked on their straws then Steph nodded toward the front of the bar. “I can’t believe it. Ethan’s here.”

  Lainey’s swallow caught in her throat. She sputtered and blinked back tears. “I didn’t know he was coming.” It was hard to sound casual when she was choking.

  Steph thumped on her back. “He usually doesn’t—too difficult.”

  “Why?” Lainey took another drink to clear her throat. “Does he ride the bull?”

  Steph laughed. “It’s the women. They throw themselves at him.”

  Lainey’s stomach landed with a thud near her feet. “Does he...”

  “Ride the ladies?” Steph gave her a meaningful grin.

  “Have a girlfriend?” Lainey finished.

  “Nope. By now you’d think they’d realize all his time and energy go to the clinic.”

  Like picking a scab, Lainey couldn’t help but continue. “He has to date sometimes.”

  Steph shook her head. “He’s got a long line willing to help relieve his tension, if you know what I mean.”

  “He wanted a family. His own little football team.”

  “He volunteer coaches over at the elementary school,” Steph countered.

  “But—”

  “Listen, Lainey, you weren’t the only one who was scarred by what happened.”

  “I never said...” The music changed, drowning out her words.

  “I love this song.” Steph tapped her foot as Kenny Chesney began to sing about tractors being sexy.

  Lainey took another drink only to suck up air from her straw. How had she finished so fast? She blamed her buzzing head on that and not Ethan.

  “Come on.” Steph pulled on her arm. “Let’s dance.”

  Lainey lifted her empty glass. “I need another.”

  Steph’s eyes widened a fraction before she threw back her head and laughed. “This night is going to be fantastic,” she shouted, gliding through the crowd.

  Chapter Eight

  A muscle ticked in Ethan’s jaw as he watched yet another guy gyrate up to Lainey on the dance floor. He’d hardly recognized her when he’d first seen her at the bar. Now he couldn’t take his eyes off her.