Beautiful Disaster

by Rye Hart

  The entire time we walked, I felt his hand flex. I felt the strength in his fingers and the calluses rubbing against my palm. I could see his back working underneath the tightness of his button-down shirt, a shirt that was too fucking small for him.

  Part of me wanted to rip it off him before I smacked him across his face, just so I could run my fingertips down the muscles I knew the fabric of his clothes covered.

  Once I was done taking pictures, I turned back around. Rhett was holding my wine glass out for me, his body silhouetted by the setting of the sun. My eyes danced along his darkened form. His eyes were burrowing into my soul. I held up my hand, coaxing him into standing there before I lifted my camera to him.

  “Don’t,” he said.

  “Please. Just one.”

  I watched him nod as he lowered my wine glass to his side.

  I snapped picture after picture, hoping to capture the breathtaking moment. His jaw was outlined against the setting sun, and his broad shoulders were draped in an angelic glow. He looked almost vulnerable behind the walls drawn up in his eyes. The slightest glimmer of the sun reflected off his wetted lips, and there was something that tugged me toward him and tossed me into his magnetic frame, hoping I would stick this time.

  I dropped my camera and reached for my wine glass, our fingers brushing against one another. The electricity that flooded up my arm rattled my bones, and I tried to shake the feelings I was experiencing.

  “Do you want to start, or should I?” I asked.

  “I’ve missed you,” Rhett said.

  I almost dropped my wine glass as I choked on the sip I took.

  “What?” I asked.

  “No one was ever able to replace you and what we had. And trust me, I tried.”

  “Uh-huh,” I said.

  “Despite what happened between us, I loved you, Chanel. I know I hurt you as badly as I could have that night, and I’ve never really forgiven myself for it. I honestly don’t know how it happened, to tell you the truth. Maybe part of me knew you deserved so much better than I could offer you.”

  I felt my jaw drop in shock as he turned toward me. I had no idea what to say. What the hell was I supposed to say to that? A few seconds ago, I was ready to hit him. I was ready to knock his world back into last week, so he would no longer be on this cruise. But now I was stunned, and his face was moving closer to mine, and soon, I could feel his breath on my lips, hovering there, pulsing like the fucking tease he was.

  I stepped toward his body and closed the distance between us. My wine glass dropped to the ground, shattering at our feet. His arms covered my back, his strength soaking into my muscles as my hands threaded around his neck. The fire that sparked in my toes burned up my legs and took out my knees.

  I collapsed against him as our tongues danced, and he held me to him delicately as if he were holding a pillow to his chest.

  His hands were all over me, grasping my ass, running down my legs, and massaging my back as my hands cupped his neck. My fingertips slid down his back, and I groaned at the chiseled muscles they raked over. Our lips were swelling underneath the pressure as Rhett backed me against the ledge while the heat of the setting sun soaked into my skin.

  Then, I opened my eyes and saw what was happening and pushed him back with my hands.

  Not before I felt the strength of his chest give underneath my touch, however.

  “I can’t do this,” I said breathlessly. “I— I can’t open this up again.”

  “Chanel, I didn’t—”

  “You spoke, and now it’s my turn,” I said.

  Rhett backed up from me as I stood my ground and smoothed out my dress.

  “You broke my heart that night,” I said. “I was so excited to spend the night with you, for real. But when I opened the door and saw you half-naked with that girl in your lap, I felt like I’d been punched in the chest. All the air left my lungs, and all you did was stare at me.”

  He shook his head. “Because I couldn’t believe what was happening either, Chanel. I’ve carried that damn night with me ever since then. I knew I was drunk, but I didn’t think I was drunk enough to do what I did. In all honesty, I was a little afraid that night. We said we would pretend the week before had never happened and this would be our real first time. I guess I subconsciously fucked it up so you would see that you deserved better.”

  I could feel his body heat radiating against me, and I couldn’t think straight. I watched as he backed up, and I slipped away from the balcony. I put some distance between us as his eyes followed me, the sun slowly setting below the water and cloaking us in darkness.

  “You said I was too good for you.”

  “You know it’s true,” Rhett said. “You were bound for Cornell and I was bound for the nearest factory. Joining the Navy was the only way out, but I wasn’t going to drag you along with me. You were going to be someone great. I would have only held you back.”

  “You don’t know that, Rhett!” I said in frustration. “If you really thought I was so damn smart, you should have trusted me to make that decision for myself!”

  “And what? Follow me all over the globe instead of getting an Ivy League education? Or going to college anyway and trying to stay together when I was half-way around the globe, facing death and danger every damn day? That wasn’t the life you deserved. It worked out for the best. You have to see that now,” he said.

  I wrapped my arms around myself and paced the bow for a few minutes. He was right about one thing, if he’d never have cheated, I would have followed him anywhere. I shook my head and closed my eyes, taking in a deep, shaking breath.

  “I’m so proud of you and of everything you’ve accomplished,” Rhett said.

  “I do more than just the blog, you know,” I said.

  “I know. I kept tabs on you.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “I wanted to know how you were doing. Had to see if life was treating you as well as you deserved. I needed to know you were happy and that fucking up the best thing that had ever happened to me at least gave you the success you deserved. I had a drink in your honor when you got that internship with The New York Times.”

  “You’re being serious right now,” I said.

  “As a heart attack.”

  “So, you checked up on me to make sure that what? I was happy? That I was safe? What would’ve happened had I not been? What the hell would you have done then?”

  He closed the distance between us, his body stalking up to mine as his eyes held my stare. I swallowed thickly as he backed us into the darkness, shrouding us from the rest of the ship as my back hit the wall. We were in a darkened crook on the most deserted part of the ship as his hands came up and blocked me in, and suddenly, all I could think about was kissing him again.

  “I would’ve done anything to get to you and make it right.”

  His words hit me like a brick, and I couldn’t contain myself. I thrust my lips against his, feeling his hands slide down my body. His knee pressed between my legs, creating a friction I needed more than life itself. He kissed down my neck as my hands dug into his shoulders, sinking him to his knees as my dress fluttered around my thighs.

  I could feel it, the sweet, sensual lips of the man who had broken my heart in high school. They were sliding up my thigh as his powerful hands pressed against my knees. My panties were soaked, dripping with lust and desire as he nibbled on my thigh. His head was underneath my dress, and I could feel his breath on my pussy.

  I was shaking with desire and need as his fingertips pulled the fabric to the side.

  Without another word, his tongue pierced my folds. I could feel my arousal pooling on his tongue while he moaned into my pussy. I braced myself against the wall, his hand guiding my leg over his shoulder, so he could keep me upright. His strong body braced mine when my knee gave out from underneath me, and he held me up as his tongue flicked my clit.

  I bit down on my lower lip to keep quiet. My head was dizzy with electricity as his tongue worked m
e with purpose. He was suckling and nibbling, licking and teasing. I ground my hips down onto his face, feeling his light stubble tickling the inside of my legs.

  My hands curled against the wall as my legs began to tighten. I bit down harder on my lip, stifling my groans at the sensation of his tongue pressing deeper into me. My eyes rolled into the back of my head, heat pooled in my pelvis, racing along my body and shaking me with ecstasy.

  And for the first time since high school, I experienced a real orgasm.

  I shook and crumbled against his face as his hands held me upright. He drank me down, swallowing my juices while I trembled in his grasp. I slumped over and sank onto him, and he caught me, his head coming up from underneath my dress to meet my lips.

  I could taste myself on him as I panted, trying to catch my breath as his arms held me close to him.

  I wanted more. Holy hell, I wanted so much more from him

  “Take me to your room,” I said breathlessly.

  And without another word spoken, he picked me up in his arms and started for the elevators.

  Chapter 6

  Rhett

  I woke up the next morning to Chanel’s scent on my upper lip. It brought back memories of last night and how we rolled around in my bed and marked the room with our passion. It was a smell I had tried to recreate in my dreams, a smell I tried to close my eyes and remember. And now I was coated in it as Tommy snoozed in his drunken stupor on the couch.

  But with all the passionate touching and kissing that had taken place, the only thing we gave one another was oral. I ate her pussy two more times last night, and she sucked my cock dry with many more tricks up her sleeve than she’d had in high school. She never took it a step further, so I never pushed it, but I spent all fucking night dreaming about how I would slide my cock into the depths of her body and make her tits jiggle for me and how I would take her against the glass of the balcony or make her sit on my cock while I admired the view of the ocean. I thought about gazing deep into her eyes as I rolled into her body or lazily slipping into her and drawing her awake with my dick.

  I stretched my arm out to find my cell phone, so I could see what time it was. Instead of finding my phone, I knocked a piece of paper off the table.

  I bent over and picked it up, scanning the words written on the paper. As quickly as the joy from last night had ignited, it faded.

  Please don’t tell anyone. I’m not ready for the questions yet.

  I was a pariah, a secret to be held. I was ready to tell everyone and spend the week with her, showing her exactly the kind of man I could be. But I couldn’t blame her. It was clear how Ana felt about me judging from last night, no matter how much she wanted to bang my best friend. The last thing Chanel wanted to field was questions from that feisty woman, especially when she was on a ship and couldn’t get away.

  I understood it, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

  I tore up the note and flushed it down the toilet. I looked at myself in the mirror, glancing at the welts on my chest. Chanel had been obsessed with it last night, biting it and suckling it, pulling groans from my throat. She paid my body all the attention in the world, and I fucking loved it.

  I wondered if I could get her to do it again.

  I grabbed the itinerary off the bathroom sink and leaned against the counter. There was a brunch for everyone going on right now, but I wasn’t hungry. I had a feeling Chanel didn’t want to see me anyway, so not going meant less of a chance of us running into one another. But, the ship had plenty of things I could do. It had a casino and a game room, a card lounge and a piano bar. There was the entire open deck that had pools and hot tubs and waterslides and shit. Plus, there was a floor with a gym, a full spa, and some steam rooms.

  Unfortunately, a steam room meant exposing my chest, and that meant questions. So, the casino it was.

  “Hey, Rhett,” Tommy said. “You in there? I gotta piss.”

  “I’m about to hop in the shower. Hold on,” I said.

  “Hurry up. I really gotta go.”

  I turned on the shower and hopped in as Tommy came into the room. I washed myself off quickly and reached for a towel, wrapping it around my waist. I pulled on a shirt I found on the floor before I stepped out of the bathroom. The last thing I needed was Tommy asking questions, but when I found him pulling on clothes himself, I grimaced.

  “What?” he asked.

  “You're not going to shower after your nastiness with Ana last night?” I asked.

  “Oh shit, do I have stories for you. And no. I plan on hitting up the hot tubs and shit. I’ll shower after that,” he said. “Where are you heading?”

  “The casino. I figured you’d go with me,” I said.

  “Oh, the casino. I could shower really quick if you want me to.”

  “Nah. It makes sense, in a gross way. I’ll slip on my bathing suit and a shirt and head with you after we’re done losing our money,” I said.

  The two of us got ready and headed down to the casino. We hit up a few machines and played a couple of card games, and I didn’t see Chanel anywhere. Even though Tommy lost two hundred bucks, I came away with sixty dollars. I figured it would be good tip money for when I eventually went to take advantage of the spa services they had.

  I wasn’t into pedicures and shit, but a nice massage never hurt anyone.

  “Okay, I’m over losing money. You ready to hit the deck and go scout out some women?” Tommy asked.

  “Ready whenever you are,” I said.

  I wasn’t in the mood to scout out anything, but I was keeping an eye out for Chanel. It did me no good to sit in my room and brood about the fact that I was a secret. I should’ve been used to that kind of shit. SEALs were always a secret. No one saw us coming, no one saw us leaving, and if they did, we never left them standing.

  But this was different.

  I didn’t want this to be a secret.

  We walked around the pool as Tommy looked at the lovely ladies laying out. He was like some macho idiot from all those mobster movies, the guy who wasn’t cool but acted like he was. I rolled my eyes as women gave him nasty looks, chuckling to myself whenever they turned him down. He was going to get himself into proper trouble with someone on this ship, and I was going to be right here taking all of it in.

  We wrapped around the ship and headed for the hot tub. It was massive and sat right next to the pool on the open deck. There were women lounging around and bartenders running drinks everywhere. It was a chaotic mess of coursing sexual energy.

  As my eyes scanned the crowd, I found her.

  Chanel. Lounging around. In a string bikini.

  Holy shit, she fucking looked phenomenal. Her toned calves and her thick thighs rolled up into a flat stomach and a slim waist. Her breasts were moving with every breath she took, and her porcelain skin had the faintest kiss of a tan. Her brown hair was piled high on her head, and she was slicked down with suntan lotion, her body glistening like it had last night with all the sweat I pulled from her pores.

  My eyes raked up and down her curves as memories of last night came flooding back. She’d told me I had given her the first real orgasm she had ever experienced since our first time. I remembered how her legs shook around my head, how her lips had begged me for more, how her hands had clawed at my hair, wanting me closer as her pussy throbbed around my lips. I had rolled three separate orgasms over her body last night, leaving her covered in sweat and still panting for more.

  How in the world could she be ashamed of something like that?

  Memories of the letter I’d found that morning knocked the wind from my lungs. I turned my eyes away from her, turning my back to all of it. I thought I’d wanted to see her, but now I didn’t. I couldn’t control my cock, I couldn't control my emotions, and I couldn’t control her. I couldn’t make her want me like I wanted her. I couldn’t make her see that this was nothing to be ashamed of.

  “I’m gonna go check out that piano bar,” I said.

  “But we’re just ge
tting started,” Tommy said.

  “I need a drink. Deal with it.”

  “There are bartenders out here, man. What’s up?” he asked.

  “Just … I’ll be back. Find your woman for the night, and I’ll be back.”

  I left the area and made my way back to our room. I was so fucking turned on that I had to take a cold shower. I got into the elevator and readjusted myself, pulling my growing girth up against my body. The more I tried to not think about her, the more the thoughts flooded my mind. I imagined pulling her oiled-up body right onto my lap while her tits jumped in my face.

  I rode up to the sixth floor, and my hands were shaking. I barged into our room and slammed the door behind me, throwing my clothes to the floor. I turned on the cold water and stepped into the stream, trying to calm my body down.

  My cock was aching, and I needed it to stop.

  The cold water drove shivers over my skin as the heat coursing through my body came to a halt. Even though my cock was dwindling, my mind was still fantasizing about taking her from behind and smacking that luscious ass of hers. I allowed the cold water to drip over my trembling muscles as I thought about her pussy and how mistreated it had been over the years, how I could pull her to unimaginable heights with the skills I had now. I’d bet she was tight, virginal tight like she had been all those years ago. I thought about sliding into her, her juices slicking my cock as my lips swallowed her groans.

  “Holy fuck,” I said breathlessly. “Come on.”

  My body wasn’t letting up as I backed out of the cold stream of water. If a cold shower wasn’t going to do it, then there was only one other option. I reached for the hot water and switched it over, allowing the steam to fill up the bathroom as I breathed in deep. I allowed her presence to take me over. I allowed myself to get pulled back into her gravitational field. I wrapped my hand around my dripping cock as it grew back to life, and I imagined fucking her against the windows of the balcony as we both gazed out over the water.