Barren Vows (Fates of the Bound Book 3)

by Wren Weston

  “Of course, you couldn’t get away with it forever. Mother would start making noise for you to see doctors, perhaps even give you a few fertility shots whether you needed them or not. Maybe she already had, or maybe the senator pushed you to see a doctor? Is that what gave you the idea? You saw a way out by turning him into the sick one? You wanted children too much to risk your own body, didn’t you?”

  This time, Jewel did not say a word. She merely cocked her head to the side as if silently asking Lila how much she had figured out.

  “You had Cristina Rubio for a TA at Bokington. Freshman biology. You knew what she’d been working on as a graduate student. Maybe you even knew that she transferred to med school. You must have been surprised to see her on the estate last year.”

  “Yes, I was.”

  “Did you have a nice lunch catching up?”

  “She’s not even properly highborn. I never had lunch with—”

  “I might not be able to prove that you both ate lunch at the same table, but your accounts were billed at the exact same time at the same restaurants, several times in one month nearly a year ago. You should have paid with cash.”

  “You hacked into my—”

  “Sit down. I’m not finished.”

  “You’re not the chief of security anymore. Stop pretending,” Jewel said as she stood up and started toward the door, her curls bouncing.

  Lila lunged, grabbed her sister’s wrist, and dragged her back to the ottoman, ignoring her own sore knuckles and ribs. “You will sit down and you will answer every damn question I ask, or I swear to the oracles, I will drag you to Chief Shaw in a pair of shiny handcuffs. Do you understand me?”

  “You’re crazy,” Jewel whispered, settling back onto the ottoman, her knees twisted to the side as though she might bolt.

  “I’m crazy? Your name was attached to Dr. Rubio’s application for Randolph General. You pushed her through the hiring committee. You have been cutting her an extra paycheck every month out of our family’s discretionary fund, leaving a trail of breadcrumbs any idiot would be able to find. Dr. Rubio just had to do one small thing to earn the position and the money.”

  “What was that? You seem to have made up an entire story. How does it end?”

  “With you poisoning the man you claim to love, ruining him so that he’ll never have children. This isn’t the first job you’ve helped Dr. Rubio get. She worked at Grace Medical during her breaks in med school at Alex’s company. Did Mother impress upon you the need to groom underlings and spies? How many more do you have in various nooks and crannies?”

  Jewel tried to stand up again, but Lila drew her Colt and placed it beside her thigh.

  “You wouldn’t.”

  “Nothing would make me smile more. I am still technically the chief of security. I have the power to arrest anyone on the estate, even the chairwoman. So you should sit the fuck down and close your mouth unless I have asked you to open it.”

  Jewel eyed the Colt, and her gaze cut to the door.

  She chose the ottoman.

  “Tell me why.”

  Jewel shook her head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Lila. It’s not anything like you’re making it out to be. It’s just birth control. They can reverse it at any time.”

  “That’s not true, and you know it.”

  “They’ll figure it out. They’re close to a breakthrough right now.”

  “He trusted you, and you poisoned him. But you don’t even care.”

  “I do care. I had to do something.”

  “You could have quit.”

  “I couldn’t have, and you know it. You know how Mother is. You know her intolerance of those who cannot handle their positions. It had to be Mother’s idea, her conclusion. It was the only way.”

  “You could have poisoned yourself. You could have traded away your happiness if it was so damn important to you, but you didn’t do that. You didn’t even think about it, did you? You didn’t want to be barren. You still want kids. For the experience. For your art.”

  Jewel worried her whitecoat’s hem, ignoring the jab. “What are you going to do?”

  “Me? I’m not going to do a damn thing. I’m going to relax right here, eat some lunch, and wait while you go next door and tell Senator Dubois all about what you’ve done. Then I’m going to speak with your ex-fiancé, and see how he would like for me to proceed.”

  “You can’t do that, Lila. I’m sorry. I—”

  “Don’t waste your breath on me. Get your mercy from Senator Dubois.”

  “Can’t we—”

  “If you don’t get out of my sight right now, you won’t even have a shot at mercy. I will shove you in a holding cell and draw up charges for theft. You seem to forget, Jewel, that you used a hospital account for this little scheme, and I have plenty of evidence to put you away. So unless you wish to spend the next week before the disciplinary committee pleading your case, I suggest you get off your ass and go confess everything to Senator Dubois before I take that option away.”

  Jewel slunk out her bedroom, her face a parade of tears in waiting.

  Lila put her boots up on the ottoman and considered a trek downstairs for lunch. But while Chef might not press her for details about her bruises, she would certainly forward the information to the chairwoman, considering it a duty from one mother to another.

  Lila didn’t want to have that conversation. In fact, she didn’t want to have any conversation with her mother at all, not before she took Jewel down to the holding cells. The chairwoman would surely attempt some sort of deal for her sister’s security, and Lila didn’t want to listen to it. Or more correctly, she didn’t want to risk it.

  Instead she paged Isabel to replace the wine with a kettle of tea and bring her lunch. Then she sent a message to Sutton. Find Dr. Cristina Rubio and detain her for questioning. Message me when she is in a holding cell.

  As you wish, the commander wrote back. We will talk later of your little escape this morning.

  Lila slipped her palm into her pocket.

  The dim room pressed in on her, the walls cloying and suffocating.

  She wondered where Tristan was and what he and Dixon were doing. She’d escaped death once more, yet she was right back where she started, staying away from the person she longed to be with the most.

  Tristan was who she wanted. No one else came close, not even after his ultimatum.

  She stroked her belly, knowing that she wouldn’t have come to that conclusion without La Roux. If his hands had not wrapped around her throat, if she hadn’t been forced to think of her life in immediacies.

  Death never listened to reason and duty. It listened to the deepest parts of one’s heart.

  Her heart had yearned for him again.

  It had regretted him again.

  Perhaps it wouldn’t have gone there if La Roux hadn’t told her what she’d said during sex. What she had whispered. Moaned. Screamed.

  Ignored. Rejected. Dismissed. Refused.

  It would be like that every time. Her body and her mind wanting Tristan, even if the part between her legs responded to someone else, doing what it had been made to do.

  Even if her heart desired, missed, mourned…

  Loved.

  Yes, perhaps she did love him.

  At least La Roux had been good for clarifying things. Not that it mattered if her feelings had been clarified. She rubbed her belly again, knowing that her situation had not changed. It had only become more complicated. She was still a highborn, and he was still a former slave. She had still rejected him, and he would believe she had cheated on him with La Roux.

  He’d never forgive her, especially if she carried another man’s child in her womb.

  Perhaps it didn’t matter much. She wasn’t sure she wanted to share her bed with anyone for a while, not when the last man t
o share it had so nearly tossed her life aside in anger.

  Had part of it been her fault? She’d pressed him, made him angry.

  Perhaps it was her fault, at least a little.

  Tristan often got angry at her, too.

  The last time they spoke, he was even angrier than usual.

  Isabel returned with a silver tray. Underneath lay a bowl of soup, which turned the air thick with the scent of chicken. Crackers lined a small plate beside it, and a kettle of tea perched in her other hand. She set the food down on the wayward coffee table, nudging it back in place with a few quick shoves.

  “Have you seen the news, madam?” she asked with an awkward little bob.

  It dawned on Lila at last. The staff believed she mourned for La Roux. “I already know. The news claims that we were linked?”

  “Yes, madam. They aren’t saying your name, but it’s easy to figure out. I mentioned to Chef how horrible your voice sounded. She made this for you, rather than the lamb.”

  “It is appreciated. Thank you, Isabel. Both of you.”

  Isabel bowed and disappeared into the hall with a swish of her skirts.

  Lila couldn’t help but wonder where Alex had wondered off to.

  She couldn’t help but wonder about Tristan, too. Tristan, who now knew that she had taken a lover, though a doomed lover at that.

  He even knew the man’s name.

  Lila poured a cup of tea and took a few spoonfuls of soup, then messaged her father. I suppose my mess is cleaned up now.

  I didn’t believe it at first, he wrote back immediately. Did you visit Helen?

  Yes, I’m fine.

  She looked up to see Dubois, leaning against her doorframe as though emerging from a battle. His unwrinkled coat seemed at odds with his expression, and his eyes were lost and red and raw. After seeing him happy and relaxed for so many years, it was tough to see the change, especially when she knew her family had caused it.

  “She told you,” Lila said in lieu of a greeting.

  Dubois nodded and fell onto the couch beside her. “You sound horrible.”

  “It’s just a cold. What did Jewel say?”

  “She told me what she’s been slipping into my coffee and why. She told me she loved me. She said she’d still marry me even if I couldn’t have children. I almost hate her more for the last part.”

  “I’m so sorry, Louis,” she whispered, using his given name for the first time in their long acquaintance. “I didn’t figure it out until this morning. I should have caught it earlier. I should have paid more attention instead of relying on accountants and—”

  “Stop,” he said, wiping at his eyes. “Is it permanent? Is there really no way?”

  “As far as I know, you will always be infertile.”

  Dubois slumped over his lap. She had never been good at playing the supportive role, so she did not try. Or rather, she did the only supportive thing she knew how to do.

  She wrapped her arms around him and rested her chin upon his shoulder. “I have evidence of what she has done. Sister or not, she should be brought up on charges. If you’re uncomfortable with others knowing about your condition, then I could get her five years for theft alone. It’s more than she’d get for the poison. She might have meant to render you infertile, but I don’t think anyone could prove she had any intention of harming you beyond that.”

  “She didn’t, did she?” he asked hopefully.

  “No, but that doesn’t change what she did. I could charge her with more if you’d come forward, but her sentence doesn’t really matter. She’s a prime heir. A chairwoman’s daughter. Many families will bid high for her mark at auction. She’ll end up a slave for the rest of her life.”

  “I don’t think your mother would appreciate any charges at all.”

  “Screw her. I don’t really care what she might appreciate right now.”

  Dubois chuckled bitterly. “Yes, screw her. Screw your whole damn family.”

  “Everyone except Pax and Shiloh. They’re good kids.”

  “Yes, they are. You’re not so bad either when you aren’t being prickly.”

  Lila nodded, uncertain of how to respond.

  They sat in silence for several long moments.

  “What do you want me to do?” Lila took her arms away and faced him, letting him recline into the couch.

  “I don’t know, to be honest. I never thought she’d do anything like that to me. I know she loves me. I saw the change in her months ago. She always looked at me like I was just some guy, but one day, it was like fairy dust had been blown into her eyes.”

  “She kept doing it anyway, Louis. Just because she’s in love with you now, doesn’t mean that she didn’t hurt you. It doesn’t mean she wouldn’t hurt you again. Let me bring her up on charges, then leave, and never look back.”

  “It’s not that simple, Lila.”

  “Why isn’t it?”

  “Because I love her,” he said, a miserable smile pasted onto his face. “Even now. She knocked a hole in my stomach, but having her arrested? It won’t fill it.”

  “What will?”

  “Time.”

  Lila stared at him disbelievingly. “You can’t be serious. You want to forgive her after what she’s done? You want to work things out with her? She didn’t wreck your car, Louis. She poisoned you. She turned you into a lab rat.”

  The senator winced. “Don’t say it like that. She didn’t know what she was doing. She thought it would be reversible. It was only supposed to be until your mother changed her mind about her being prime. Then later she’d stop giving me the powder. We’d have a miracle child and start a family.”

  “Does that sound as dumb and false to you as it does to me?”

  “She’s going to donate some funding to Dr. Rodriguez. She said the lab is close to—”

  “They aren’t close. She’s lying.”

  “She’s trying to make it right. Doesn’t that count for anything?”

  “No, she’s trying to throw money at the problem because that’s how our family solves everything. It’s not my place, but I don’t think you should want to work things out with her. That drug was completely untested on humans. It might have killed you or hurt you. She didn’t ask you to take the risk. She decided for you. She betrayed your trust. She could have done something like that to herself, but she chose to do it to you. In the process, she stole your future.”

  “You’re thinking of your security office. She betrayed you too. I understand why you’d want revenge for that, but—”

  “It has nothing to do with revenge. I know this is strange coming from me, but a baby means so much more than a job. She took that from you. How do you know that she won’t do it to you again? Or worse?”

  “How do I know that the next one won’t? How do I know that I won’t regret pushing her out of my life before I gave her a chance to make amends? I need to think before I end things. I can’t lose anyone else today.”

  And with that, Lila remembered that Dubois had no idea who La Roux truly was. To him, his cousin wasn’t a monster. He was beloved.

  Lila tried to bring up La Roux but couldn’t. She couldn’t pretend sympathy for the man who’d tried to murder her. “Will you return to the senate after this season?”

  “Perhaps I might keep my senate seat if I sell my soul, but Jewel’s probably already taken that from me as well. If you come forward with what you know, I don’t have a chance. They’ll know I’m seedless, and I’ll never earn a place in any senate again. On the other hand, if Jewel and I merely part, they might elect me for another year, then perhaps shuttle me off to some city in the country for another session or two. After I don’t produce an heir, they’ll guess at my situation. I’ll have to return to Bullstow, but at least I might do some good before I go.”

  “You already have done a great deal of good
for Saxony. I’ve followed your career,” she said, squeezing his arm. “Every senator who doesn’t marry returns to Bullstow at some point for retraining. It’s not a failing to find another occupation.”

  “I know. But I always thought I wouldn’t be put out to pasture for another decade. Then I met Jewel, and I thought my course had been set on a different star, but now a storm has thrown me overboard.” He shifted on the couch and studied her face. “Lila, I have to tell you something about my cousin—”

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  Jewel hadn’t been the only one to take something precious from him. Lila had taken as well, just like with Alex, and she wasn’t even sorry about it.

  He pulled his wallet from his breeches and dug out a yellowed piece of paper. Lila didn’t need to open it to know what it was. “Take this. I won’t need it anymore. Maybe you’ll get some use from it.”

  “Louis…”

  He shook his head. The paper crinkled as she took it.

  “Life is funny. You wake up in one world, and by lunch, you’re swept up in a whole new one. I guess life is a nothing more than a series of adjustments.”

  “I guess we have to learn to adjust.”

  “We have to try.” He stood and walked to the door. “Thank you for giving me the choice with Jewel, but I don’t see what good it would do. Let it go, Lila. I can’t figure this out if she’s gone.”

  “Maybe you won’t be able to figure it out until she’s gone.”

  “Maybe it’s just a question of what and how much I want to lose. You gave me the choice when she didn’t. Please don’t take it back because you don’t agree with my answer.”

  Lila fought the urge to debate the issue once more, but she’d already said enough. “Okay. Let me know if you change your mind.”

  The senator nodded and turned the doorknob. “I don’t know if I’ll be back in this house.”

  “I won’t look for you.”

  Dubois nodded and disappeared down the corridor.

  Chapter 29

  Isabel brought up a fresh kettle of tea to ward off Lila’s cold, the cold she was sure that Lila had caught at the ball due to her hoarse voice. Jewel’s sobs bubbled through the walls intermittently. Neither of them wanted to get involved. Lila because she would be the target of Jewel’s histrionics and rage if she could only stop crying for long enough. And Isabel because experience had taught her to avoid Jewel in such moods. Pax only ventured into the hallway once, peeking into Lila’s room for an explanation.