I realized my eyes had filled with tears as I watched. I blinked them away. "Yeah, of course."
He glanced out the window, at the wedding party and the bride and groom who were again lost in a kiss, then took his seat and looked at me, his sweet blue eyes more solemn and serious than I'd ever seen them.
He didn't speak, and I didn't either. We just sat looking at each other.
I didn't know what I was thinking, feeling. Percy looked like himself, of course, but also like someone I'd never seen before, and I had no idea what to say.
After a long moment, he took a breath to speak.
My heart raced.
"Can I get you two a drink?"
We jumped in unison and looked up at the waiter.
"Um, yes, thanks," Percy said, not sounding very thankful. "Lydia? What would you like?"
I couldn't resist peeking out the window again. The wedding group must have gone inside the restaurant, but all the blinds were drawn and I couldn't see anything. Turning back to the waiter, I said, "House red, please."
"Make that two."
He nodded and left, and Percy smiled gently at me. "That's a gorgeous necklace. Paddington give you that?"
I took a deep breath and made myself relax. I'd been looking forward to this, and I didn't want to let anything get in the way of the calm and peace I always felt with Percy. "Since I don't give him an allowance, he couldn't buy me anything. But it does look like him, doesn't it?"
"Definitely." He leaned a little closer and touched it gently with his fingertip. "If he did get an allowance I bet he'd use it on presents for you."
I laughed. "I think he'd spend it on chew toys and hiring you to throw socks for him at the nature preserve."
I told him about going there yesterday and the wet mitten I'd had to throw, of course keeping my 'no sex until I'm in love' decision to myself, and from there we talked about anything and everything that came to mind and I enjoyed every moment.
When we'd finished our entrees, he said, "I should tell you, I am definitely quitting the job. Tomorrow morning."
My heart sank, and I let it speak. "I'll still get to see you, right?"
"If I have anything to say about it, you will. At least once."
I tipped my head to one side. "Just once?"
"No, I said at least once." He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out an envelope which he passed to me.
I opened it then stared at him. "How did you get these?"
He shrugged elaborately, grinning at me. "I have my ways."
"But..." I examined the tickets more closely. "They're good seats too, aren't they? Not the nosebleed section."
"I hope you're free that day. Two weeks from yesterday."
I laughed. "It'll be my first time attending a Hogs game. Trust me, I'm free. Don't even need to check my calendar."
"Good stuff."
I leaned back in my chair and looked at him. "You're so sweet. Thank you for getting these. What do I owe you?"
"Popcorn at the game?"
I knew the tickets hadn't been cheap, and I was about to protest, but then saw in his eyes that he didn't want me to. It was a gift. What a sweetheart. "You got it."
The waiter came by then asking about dessert, but I couldn't eat another bite and Percy said he didn't need anything else either.
"Coffee then? Or tea?"
Percy looked at me. "How's your presentation coming?"
"All right, I think. But I wouldn't mind showing it to you if you're still okay with that."
By way of answer, he said, "Coffee at your place then?"
Good thing I'd bathed the dog. "Sounds like a plan."
*****
"Do you want to run it once more?"
I leaned back in my home-office chair and sighed. "I don't know. That time was worse than the first one, wasn't it?"
"I think it got too detailed in the middle."
"You're just trying to be nice. I got confused in the middle, is what you mean."
"Whatever you say, Flipper."
I could hear the smile in his voice though I couldn't see his face. He stood behind me, looking at the computer over my shoulder.
I sighed again. "It's so stupid anyhow. Shouldn't have to do this. This is just Felix playing some dumb game."
"Probably."
I shook my head, then lowered it to my chest to stretch out my neck.
After a second, Percy's hands took my shoulders then began to gently massage the tense muscles. "Let me," he said softly, his voice husky. "Please."
I wanted to say yes but I couldn't because his touch had knocked the breath from me. The heat of his hands through my thin top felt amazing, and the fact he'd gone ahead without waiting felt even better. Percy never went after something unless he really truly wanted it. Which maybe meant...
His fingers worked deeper, and I shut my eyes and let the sensations sweep over me. So many guys had touched me but it had never felt like this, and deep in my soul I knew why.
This was how it felt to be turned on by a guy you cared about. A good guy. A nice guy.
No. A man. The solution to the nice guy dilemma was finding a man, with a sexy-guy side and a nice-guy side and everything in between. And I'd found him.
His touch felt so good, so exciting even though he was just rubbing my shoulders, and so clean too. Clean and pure. Like a vibrant light.
He bent forward without taking his hands from me and said into my ear, his voice shaking but the words wonderfully clear, "I never had the nerve to tell you this before, back in college, but you gave me that nerve. I'm crazy about you, Lydia."
The joy that rushed through me dwarfed everything that had gone before, and I pushed myself upright onto shaking legs and turned to him.
His expression was serious but his eyes were lit with his feelings for me and a physical heat that echoed and amplified my own.
I slid one arm around his neck and my other hand reached out so I could touch his sweet face. Then I said words I'd never said before, never felt before. "I'm crazy about you too."
Relief and happiness flooded his eyes, and flooded me too. He cupped the back of my head with one hand while his other arm drew me closer, and I said it again. "I'm crazy about you, Percy. I am." I burst out in giggles, unable to hold in my delight any more. "I am I am I--"
His kiss shut me up and shut down my laughter. He kissed me sweetly and gently but thoroughly and with a simmering heat that made my body pound deep and insistent, and I clung to him, kissing him back and reveling in the pure attraction between us. Nothing had ever felt so right.
A bark broke us apart.
Percy laughed, clearly as happy as I was. "Go play with the power tools, Paddington. We're busy."
I laughed too and wrapped my arms tighter around Percy, laying my head against the front of his shoulder. "Wow," I said softly.
"Yeah." He cuddled me close. "Yeah, 'wow' about sums it up."
Pressed against him, I knew his body wanted more than kissing. So did mine, since I'd never felt so good in someone's arms before, but...
I cleared my throat. "Um, there's something I should tell you."
"You can tell me anything."
I looked up at him, then couldn't bring myself to do it looking into his eyes so I hid my face in his chest. "Okay. Well. Remember the... the 'slot machine' thing? That I told you about before?"
"Of course," he said. "What about it? I meant everything I said. It's still okay, if you're worried about that."
I shut my eyes. "I won't be... playing slots again. Not until..." I sighed. "I can't think of a gambling analogy. Percy, I don't want to have sex again until I know for sure I'm in love. It's never been like that for me and I want it. I do like you, a lot, but I don't know if it's--"
He took me by the shoulders and held me away from him, and I stopped talking because the tenderness and warmth in his eyes told me everything I needed to know even before he said, "Look, Flipper, I'm still trying to get my head around the fact that I got to kiss you."
I giggled, relieved, and he added, "I'm in no rush. I'd love it if we made love someday, but I wouldn't want it to happen one second before you were ready."
I burrowed back into him and squeezed him tight. "Thank you."
"Thank you, for being so honest with me."
"While I'm being honest, I might not be able to have kids," I said, figuring I should get all the bad stuff out of the way. "And sometimes I don't know if I want to. How do you feel about that?"
He smoothed my hair. "Lydia?"
His voice sounded almost strangled, and I looked up at him, scared for a second until I saw him trying not to grin. "Yes?"
"I've known you for years, remember. I've heard you say you don't know about kids. I'm fine with everything you are. More than fine. I..." His grin faded and he stroked my cheek gently, his eyes intent on mine. "Okay. Listen. I love you, Lydia."
God, the rush of emotion at hearing those words from him. I could never have imagined how wonderful it would feel.
"I love you," he said again. "I wasn't going to say it because I don't want you to feel like you have to say it back, but I do love you. Right now I want to hug you and kiss you and maybe if I'm very lucky get to call myself your boyfriend. As long as I get to go with you I'll be happy wherever we end up. You don't need to worry about what I think, because I think you're wonderful."
I looked up at him, at that gorgeous sweet face, for a long moment, letting it sink in, letting myself accept that he loved me exactly the way I was. Then I turned to my dog, now busy chewing the polar-bear-dog toy Percy had bought for him. "Hey, Paddington. Come meet my boyfriend."
He didn't bother, but Percy's grin more than made up for it.
Chapter Fifty-One
I walked into the office Monday morning feeling more relaxed than I'd have expected. Percy and I had sat cuddled together on the couch with my laptop while I ran through my presentation twice more, and whether it was all my previous rehearsals or just the joy of being in his arms the last test run had been about as close to perfect as possible. Then we'd spent a few more glorious minutes kissing before he'd insisted he had to go so I could get my rest. I'd fallen asleep thinking of him and woken up the same way, and in between I'd slept like Paddington after a long romp at the nature preserve.
Sasha, the only one in the office, sat at her desk typing away. "Good morning," she said, raising her head and smiling at me. She looked tired and scared.
"Hi. Nobody else here?"
"Percy's in with Felix. Otherwise no."
Quitting his job, no doubt. I wouldn't tell her that, though. I thought about telling her we'd gotten together, since I felt sure she'd be surprised but happy for us, but I didn't want to disrupt her when she was so clearly focused on the presentation. "Need any help?"
She rubbed her eyes. "I've been over it and over it. I think it's done but..." She shook her head. "Who knows, right? How do you ever know what's right?"
"How'd you know Daniel was right for you?"
She blinked. "Use your signals before you make a sharp turn like that."
I smiled. "Sorry. It just came out."
She smiled back and said, "How did I know? We'd been dating a while and I thought he was great but then one day he showed up and I looked at him and felt something inside me click. Like..." She looked around the office then pointed at the Lego bricks on Percy's desk, which he'd built on Friday into the approximate shape of my dog. "Like that. Like pieces snapping together just right. That's how I knew."
I nodded, thinking. I hadn't felt that, but it still felt so right to be with him.
"Of course, I doubt everyone gets the click. But on some level you know, I think, if he's the right guy." Her eyebrows went up. "Which guy are we talking about? I didn't know you were dating anyone."
"I wasn't, until last night."
She pushed her laptop aside and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her desk. "Congrats. Who is he?"
Felix's office door opened. I looked up as Percy walked out, and our eyes met.
No click, but I felt like a huge deep-sounding bell had rung right in the center of my chest.
Close enough.
I smiled at him and he smiled back.
"Oh," Sasha breathed. "Finally."
I turned to her, surprised, and she grinned. "I have eyes, you know. You guys have been dancing around this for weeks."
Percy sat beside me and gave my shoulder a squeeze. "She was dancing. I've been standing on the sidelines. But I think we've got it figured out now. We're on the same dance floor, so to speak."
"Well, good." She reached out and gave me a hug, then hugged him too. "Very good."
Patricia stomped in then so we stopped talking before she could tell us to. I went back to my desk to load up my presentation, and Percy began doing what probably looked to the others like tidying up his desk but what I knew was getting ready to pack his things.
He picked up his phone, and seconds later I had a text message.
Felix doesn't want me to work the 2 week notice. I asked to watch the presentations and he said yes, but I'll be gone by lunch time after I write up some tech stuff for my replacement.
By lunch time I might well have a new job.
I sent back, "Want to have lunch? We can celebrate or commiserate as appropriate."
I'd just had time to read his, "Big words, gorgeous. Me not too smart. But me like to eat so yes to lunch," reply when Felix opened his office door and said, "Let's get to it."
Though I knew I was well-prepared, nervousness skittered through me like a million hyperactive ants. I picked up my computer and waited until Patricia and Sasha had headed for the conference room before following them. Percy fell in next to me, as I'd hoped I could make happen, and murmured, "Go get 'em, Flipper."
I leaned into him as we walked, wishing I could get a hug, and he slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me against his side for a single lovely second before releasing me so I could enter the conference room ahead of him.
It was enough, though. His touch calmed me and I felt sure that with his support I could do this. I was mere minutes away from winning the job of my dreams.
That goal felt even closer as I watched Patricia, who Felix had told to go first, fumble her way through her presentation. Incredibly, she didn't seem to have practiced it even once, because she couldn't figure out how to advance her slideshow and several times wasn't actually able to understand the words she herself had written on the slides.
Going right after her could only make me look great by comparison.
It did, but I didn't need that boost. The happiness I felt every time I glanced at Percy during my presentation made everything feel right as I talked about my site and why I'd done what I'd done and how my readers had changed their lives and how delighted I was with that, and when I finished I could see that Kelvin, sitting at the back of the room next to Felix, looked impressed. Felix, surprisingly, looked a little worried, which didn't make sense to me.
When I sat back down next to Percy and he let his leg press against mine, though, I stopped caring about Felix. He was standing up, thanking me for my presentation and reminding Kelvin of who Sasha was before she began hers, and there was just nothing about him I liked any more. He was gorgeous, yes, but I could see now that he wasn't real in any way. Everything was a show, a facade. Percy was real all the way through.
Poor Sasha's presentation was better than Patricia's but only slightly. I'd known she was nervous but I hadn't realized quite how much, and she was visibly shaking as she stood at the front of the room. She'd clearly put a lot of effort into the presentation itself but watching and listening to her was painful because she was so uncomfortable.
Finally she was done, and she sank into her chair as if she wanted to sink under the table instead.
"Well, ladies, thank you," Felix said. "Kelvin and I will talk and we'll call you back in shortly."
We stood up to go, and he said, "Oh, wait, one more thing. We're losing Percy as of toda
y. Going out on his own, apparently." He gave Percy a brilliant but cold smile. "Brave, in this economy. Anyhow, of course we all wish him well and thank him for his work. Right?"
Sasha murmured, "Of course," and Patricia said, "You'll be finding a replacement soon, I hope?"
Felix nodded. "Job ads are already out." He glanced at me, his eyebrows raised, and I knew he wanted to tease me for bringing Percy in and having him leave so fast. With Kelvin standing beside him, though, he clearly didn't quite dare.
"Good," Patricia said, and walked out without a word to Percy.
Sasha and Percy and I left, in time to see the bathroom door closing behind Patricia, and once Felix had closed the conference room door behind us Sasha said, "I'm going to miss you, Percy. You actually made all this stuff make sense." She sighed. "Not that I showed any of that in the presentation."
"I thought you did a great job."
I looked up at him, surprised but trying not to show it.
Sasha didn't mind showing it. "I did not. My daughter would have been more articulate."
He smiled. "You were just nervous. With a few more presentations under your belt it'll be no problem. But I meant the slides and stuff. They were clear and well-written. Unlike..." He jerked his head toward the bathroom.
We all chuckled, then Sasha said to me, "You were the best. For sure. And Kelvin will like that. Let's go for coffee this afternoon. I'm buying." She swallowed. "To congratulate you."
"I'm in for coffee, but don't count yourself out. We don't know what they'll do."
She shook her head, but then Patricia returned and we stopped talking.
Percy typed away at his desk, no doubt writing the technical details of our sites for his replacement, and I browsed my site and quickly got caught up in one of my newest readers' posts about how she'd been good to herself over the weekend. She'd clearly read everything I'd written and had used it to change her life, and I loved it.
"Lydia?"
I looked up, startled.
Felix smiled. "Could you wait for us in the small conference room, please?"
Sasha was just closing the main conference room door behind her and Patricia was a few feet away from Felix's office. "Of course."
Toronto Collection Volume 3 (Toronto Series #10-13) Page 26
