Toronto Collection Volume 3 (Toronto Series #10-13)

by Heather Wardell

  Chapter Six

  At five to nine the next morning I cautiously opened the front door of the Warren Press office. The office in New York was all heavy antique furniture and oil paintings and exactly suited Fred's style. Here I saw pale blue walls and lots of glass and mirrors and furniture made of light wood in sleek lines. The place felt clean and fresh. It felt good. Comfortable.

  "Alexa?"

  A woman of about my age detached herself from the small group near the coffee maker in a corner and came over. Lucky for her she didn't completely resemble her dad, but she had his warm brown eyes and friendly smile so I knew who she was even before she held out her hand to me and said, "I'm Rhonda. Welcome to Toronto."

  We shook hands as I said, "Thank you. And thanks so much for arranging my apartment. It's great."

  "I'm glad. Not too beige for you?"

  "It is pretty beige," I admitted, smiling, "but it's still nice."

  "Good. Now, I have a phone meeting at nine-fifteen so I'm thinking I'll do super-fast introductions so we can talk for a bit before I have to make that call. We can chat again in the afternoon once you've had a little time to get settled."

  I agreed, of course, to my new boss's first request, and she led me over to the coffee maker crowd.

  "Everyone, this is Alexa. She's transferring from the New York office, and she'll be taking Carly's place as my assistant part-time and editing part-time once her first author delivers his book, which should be late this week or early next. Once Carly comes back Alexa will go full-time with the editing." She turned to me. "Right?"

  I nodded.

  "Great. Wanted to make sure I understood Dad right. All right, let's do this. We're not a big office, not yet anyhow. These three are the whole staff, besides Carly. And you now, of course. Howard here is another crime fiction editor."

  Howard turned to me, his eyes intense, and shook my hand firmly. "Nice to meet you, Alexa. Let me know what I can do to help you."

  "Thanks," I said, and withdrew my hand as soon as I thought I could without being rude. He was good-looking, although I didn't usually go for that red-hair-blue-eyes type, and touching him made me feel strangely panicky.

  "Rosanna is our art editor." As I shook hands with the pretty brunette and envied her sleek chin-length bob, Rhonda added, "My idea to move the company into non-fiction, and art to boot, scared my poor father half to death but Rosanna and Jake are doing a great job of it."

  My final coworker smiled, said, "Actually, I mostly just get in her way," and held out his hand to me as Rosanna chuckled. "I'm Jake."

  Touching him didn't give me the 'get away from me' feeling I'd had touching Howard, probably because Jake's brown eyes didn't seem to be devouring me in the same way. While he seemed friendly enough, Jake had a reserve about him that I liked.

  We released each other's hand and he went on. "I'm a sculptor, at least in my spare time, and I wouldn't know good writing if it bit me. I do know art, though, so I go looking for pretty things and Rosanna gets them made into books."

  Rhonda laughed. "That's the worst description of your jobs I've ever heard, but it's basically right." To me she said, "That'll be your desk," gesturing at an open one not far away. "Let's go talk now and then you can get yourself arranged there while I'm having my meeting."

  "Sure." I smiled at the others, who smiled back, and followed Rhonda to her office.

  Once the door was closed and we'd taken seats she said, "I don't want to beat around the bush, Alexa. Dad told me about what you've been through."

  My stomach twisted. I'd so hoped he wouldn't.

  "I haven't told anyone else," she added quickly, perhaps seeing my discomfort. "Nor will I. It's up to you who should know, of course. I think Dad just thought it'd be better if I knew. If you find any part of that is making your tasks here harder, it'll be easier for me to help this way."

  I had to admit that was true, but still wished she didn't know. The more people who knew about my past, the harder it would be for me to forget it.

  Rhonda walked me briefly through the phone system and provided me with everyone's full names and email addresses and cell numbers to put in my brand new phone in case I needed to get in touch with them outside of work hours. Then she gave me my computer access codes, explained my first few tasks, and said, "Any questions?"

  I shook my head. "I think I'm good."

  She smiled. "Dad certainly thinks so."

  I smiled back and headed for the door. Halfway there, it occurred to me to thank her for taking me on at such short notice on her dad's insistence, so I turned back to find her staring with fascination at the hem area of my basic black calf-length skirt.

  My face went hot in an instant and I said, more sharply than I probably should have to my new boss, "They're higher up."

  She jumped. "What?"

  "I always wear longer skirts, or pants, so nothing will show. You won't see them."

  Her face turned a fierce red. "God, Alexa, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to, I--" She stood up. "I am really sorry. It won't happen again. Can you ever forgive me?"

  My face burned too, but I made myself nod. "Everyone's curious. I get it."

  She shook her head. "My curiosity doesn't trump your privacy. I promise, it will never happen again."

  I knew she meant it. "Thank you."

  As I turned to go again she said, almost shyly, "Alexa?"

  I forced myself to look back, though I felt sure she was going to ask for details I didn't want to give.

  Her blush deepened. "Please don't tell my dad I did that."

  I had to laugh. "No problem."

  Relief flooded her glowing face. "Thank you. Thank you very much." She shook her head. "He already questions whether I can handle ramping up the Toronto division enough as it is."

  I smiled. "It looks good to me so far."

  She smiled back. "Glad to hear it. Okay. I will behave and you will go work on those tasks. Deal?"

  "Deal."

  *****

  At the small diner down the street from the office, Rhonda said, "So, Alexa, how was your morning? Making any progress on those tasks?"

  I nodded. "I've got one left, and it's coming along--"

  "One?"

  Rhonda's shock startled me. "Yes, but I should be done with it today. Is that okay?"

  "I thought those would take you all week. Maybe more. Of course it's okay." She leaned forward. "What's not done?"

  "Putting together the mailing list for the upcoming art book," I said, then explained how I thought the client database could be streamlined. I was careful not to trash the existing system since I didn't know who had built it, but I'd noticed that information was stored repeatedly instead of being linked, which meant things got out of sync. I'd already encountered several instances of a single bookstore having multiple mailing addresses with no indication of which was current. "If everything were linked, it would be easier to keep it updated."

  "Of course it would." She smiled at me. "Is that something you can implement?"

  "Yes, but..."

  "But what?" Rhonda prompted when I didn't go on.

  Wishing I didn't have to do this in front of my new coworkers, I said, "I don't want to step on Carly's toes."

  She shook her head. "Carly's always trying to be more efficient. I know she'll be delighted that you've found a way to improve this." Her forehead creased. "I'm surprised she didn't come up with it herself, to be honest."

  "I took some database courses a few years back," I said quickly, "or it wouldn't have occurred to me either."

  She smiled. "Well, I'm glad it has. Put it together, okay? And maybe also a little instruction sheet for Carly on how to keep the new system organized. Can you get that done in the next few days?"

  I nodded. "Shouldn't be a problem." I'd also seen a few smaller things in the other tasks, so I'd write those up too.

  "Great. Once your author, whose name is Mike by the way, brings in his book you'll need to focus on that."

  I hadn't
edited anything for two years, and the idea of getting back into it both thrilled and scared me. "Got it."

  "I'd be happy to have you bounce ideas about the book off me if you'd like." Howard let his hand rest on my shoulder. "Us crime editors should stick together."

  "Thanks," I said, then after a second reached for the salt shaker with that arm so he'd lose contact with me. I couldn't bear the feel of his hand on my body, but I didn't want to offend him either.

  "Yes, I should have said," Rhonda put in, "that because we're such a small office we do often collaborate. Even Rosanna and Jake are available if you need it, although neither of them are crime fiction experts like you two."

  "We'll do our best, though," Rosanna said.

  Jake nodded but didn't speak. He hadn't spoken even once during the 'welcoming Alexa' lunch Rhonda had decided to treat us all to, and he seemed far less cheerful than he'd been first thing in the morning.

  "Your best is great," Howard said, with a vaguely superior tone that grated on me though I felt sure he'd meant to be complimentary.

  Rosanna didn't respond, and neither did Jake, so Howard turned to me. "Now, Alexa, tell us all about you."

  "Not much to tell," I said awkwardly. "I'm originally from Alberta but I moved to New York about four years ago to work for Fred, and I've been working for him ever since, until now of course."

  Rhonda gave a wry laugh. "Make no mistake, you're still working for him. Dad has me on a seriously short leash."

  While I tried to think of a response to this, Howard said, "Toronto will be a change for you. I'm happy to show you around. Maybe this weekend?"

  Something in his voice, a certainty that I would do exactly as he said, reminded me uncomfortably of Christophe. Before I thought it through I said, "I like exploring on my own, but if I change my mind I'll let you know."

  A short stiff silence followed, then he said, "Of course. I wasn't trying to pressure you."

  "I know," I said, though I wasn't quite sure. "Thanks for suggesting it."

  He gave my shoulder a single pat. "It must be strange starting in a new city. I understand."

  I didn't know what he thought he understood but I doubted very much it was the whole truth. Still, he seemed to be dropping it, and he hadn't let his hand linger on my shoulder, so he must be getting the message that I wasn't interested in spending time with him.

  "Do you swim, or maybe do yoga?"

  I turned to Rosanna, and she smiled and went on with, "I do both a few times a week and I'd be happy to take you along."

  I'd loved swimming. Before. "I'm not much of a swimmer but I would like to get into yoga."

  After the assault I'd been a reluctant member of a therapy group, and the leader had raved about how yoga could help in dealing with physical trauma. I'd attended a few classes in New York but it had never clicked with me. I wasn't sure it would click here either, but I liked Rosanna so far and I wanted to get to know her better so I said, "When do you go?"

  Once she'd reeled off the schedule and we'd agreed to go together on Saturday morning, Rhonda chuckled. "Howard and Rosanna have offered you stuff, Alexa, so I guess it's my turn. Although what I've got isn't just for you. Dad has decided to upgrade us all to first class flights for the New York trip in September." She smiled at me. "Something about ensuring you'd come back to visit him."

  As Rosanna and Howard expressed their pleasure at this, I returned Rhonda's smile, feeling the back of my throat tightening. Fred was so sweet. "I'd have gone anyhow."

  She feigned shock. "Don't tell him. I like flying first class."

  We laughed, and she turned to Jake. "Well? Your turn. What have you got for Alexa?"

  He reddened. "Nothing. Sorry," he said without looking in my direction.

  "Hey, you've just met her," she said easily. "I'm sure you'll come up with something eventually."

  Since he didn't look at me or speak to me throughout the rest of the meal, I had my doubts.

  *****

  After we'd been back in the office about twenty minutes, Jake came over, crouched down beside me, and said softly, "Can I talk to you?"

  "Of course." I turned to face him, surprised he wanted to.

  "Not here," he said even more softly. "In the conference room."

  Rosanna had left for a meeting, Rhonda had her office door closed, and Howard was deep in a manuscript with headphones on to help him concentrate, so it didn't seem like we needed to go elsewhere to talk. He looked anxious, though, so I agreed and followed him down the hall to the small room.

  He closed the door behind us, and I tensed though I didn't want to. Since the assault I hadn't felt comfortable being alone with any man but Fred or my brother and dad.

  I took a seat anyhow, because I knew I had to get over my fear. Jake took one too, and silence fell. I waited for him to break it, but he didn't, too busy studying his hands, so I eventually said, "So, what's up?"

  He raised his head to look at me, his eyes serious and sad. "I... Alexa, I know who you are. What's happened to you."

  "What do you mean?" I tried to sound confused, which wasn't hard. Had Rhonda told though she'd said she wouldn't?

  He folded his hands together on the table. "I thought you looked familiar this morning but I didn't know why. I'm a huge news buff, and just before lunch I remembered where I'd seen you. In the news reports after that guy's trial." He sighed. "It is you, right? You're the one who went through all that?"

  For a moment I considered lying to him, but I knew he knew so there didn't seem to be any point. "Yeah. It's me."

  He lowered his eyes and shook his head. "Damn it. I didn't want to be right."

  Sweet of him, not to want his new coworker to have suffered so much. "I'm afraid you are. How... um..."

  I'd been going to ask him how much he knew, exactly how much detail had been in the reports, but I couldn't do it. If he knew little I'd only push him to find out more, and if he knew everything I didn't want to bring it out in the open. Better for neither of us to be thinking about it.

  "How what?"

  "Never mind. Look, I'd rather keep this private, okay? Rhonda knows, since Fred told her, but please don't tell anyone else."

  "I won't."

  He sounded sincere, but there was something else going on. His hands were clenched together so tightly his fingers were leaving dents in his skin. Had he already told? "Jake, please don't tell. Or did you already? I... can I trust you?"

  He snapped his head up, his eyes wide. "Yes. I haven't told. And I promise, you can trust me. I will never lie to you. About anything."

  His vehemence seemed out of line, and I frowned. "Then tell me what's going on with you now."

  He didn't try to tell me it was nothing. "I have to. That's why I asked you to come in here. I just don't know how." He took a deep breath, sighed it out, then said, "Okay, here goes. Alexa, two years ago I was charged with sexual assault."

  Icy horror flooded me. I wanted to rush out of the room and out of Toronto, but he was still talking.

  "I'm telling you because I don't want you to find out on your own. Nobody here knows but Rhonda because she did a police check on me when she hired me, and I'd prefer to keep it that way. But you... I thought you should know. In case you found out."

  "Why?" I managed to whisper.

  He gave a small shrug. "Because I thought if you looked me up and found out about me, it might be extra hard after what happened to you so I thought it was only fair you heard from--"

  "No, why did you do it? The... assault. Why?"

  He rubbed his forehead. "I don't know if I did. We were both drinking that night, and I truly have no recollection of her telling me to stop. But the next day she went to the police, and I was charged."

  "And convicted?"

  He shook his head. "There was no evidence either way. Things had definitely been consensual earlier, and I hadn't... hurt her or anything so there was no way to prove whether she'd wanted to keep going. So the case was dropped."

  I s
at silent, trying to take this in. I'd felt comfortable with him when we met. Comfortable with a possible rapist! Was there something in me that responded to guys like that, Christophe and now Jake, when it should be running away?

  Well, I would keep my distance. I wouldn't let myself respond to him. I wouldn't get hurt again. "Okay."

  He raised his eyebrows. "Okay?"

  I nodded. "Now I know. Fine. Anything else to tell me?"

  He sighed. "Only that I'm sorry."

  I pushed back my chair and got up to leave. One step toward the door, curiosity made me stop and turn back. He was staring at the table again. "Sorry for what, exactly?"

  He ran a hand through his blond hair and looked up at me, his eyes solemn. "For what happened to you. For any additional pain that hearing about me causes you. And for... her, for the woman who thought I'd... I'm sure she's still in pain and I feel terrible about that."

  The unmistakable sadness and self-loathing in his voice unaccountably made me furious. "Good. I hope you suffer. Because she is. And--"

  I cut myself off but the words seemed to hang in the air anyhow.

  I am too.

  We stared at each other for a moment, then I said, "Stay away from me, okay?" and walked out before he could answer.

  Chapter Seven

  Not surprisingly, I had trouble focusing for the rest of the day. Jake did indeed stay away from me, even refusing to go for coffee with the rest of us in the afternoon though the others were surprised by his apparently unusual decision. I did appreciate that, a little, but I still hated the feel of his presence in the open-concept office. Jake, from the sounds of it, hadn't been accused of anything nearly as severe as what Christophe had done to me, but I was again dealing with a man who might take possession of a woman's body when she didn't want that. I couldn't bear it.

  Rhonda had told me I could leave any time after five, so when Jake was busy with a phone call at five-fifteen I took my opportunity to get out of the office without having to say goodbye to him when I said it to everyone else. I couldn't do it, couldn't smile at him and wish him a good evening. I'd have to, eventually, or the tension between us would be obvious to the others, but today I simply couldn't.