Mending the Doctor's Heart

by Sophia Sasson

  “Anna,” Nico croaked.

  She picked up the paper cup of water and ice that the nurse had thoughtfully placed beside the bed and held it to his lips. He sipped carefully, swallowing with difficulty.

  “Anna.” This time his voice was much more discernible and Anna didn’t bother to blink back the tears welling in her eyes. Nico was alive! She hadn’t killed him. He was going to be okay.

  “I’m here, Nico, what do you need?” But he just looked at her, and she didn’t hesitate to bend down and kiss him on the forehead. He held on to her hand and Anna’s heart had never felt as light as it did in that moment. Gazing into Nico’s warm, brown eyes, everything that had happened between them melted away. She saw the man she’d first met, the playful, vivacious one who had pretended he was a tour guide just to spend the day with her. The entire room spun away from her and all she could see was that Nico, whose first kiss had made her fall head over heels for him. He smiled playfully.

  “I love you.” He whispered the simple words so softly, Anna barely heard them.

  But what she did hear with resounding clarity was the unmistakable sound of a sob. She turned to see Maria run out of the room.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  ANNA WASN’T SURE how she was still standing. Emma was deteriorating fast. Luke had been gone for ten hours now and there was no word on his whereabouts. Kat hadn’t been able to get ahold of him, and Anna couldn’t reach the company contact she had been working with. It was late evening in Guam, but they were two hours ahead of the Philippines so it was still the workday there.

  “How much longer does she have?”

  Anna couldn’t bear to look at Aurelia. It wasn’t the young woman’s tears that affected her, but Aurelia’s acceptance of the fate that lay in her daughter’s future. She was at peace with Emma dying, while the little baby was still alive. Anna wanted that for herself.

  Keeping her eyes on Emma, Anna replied. “It’s really hard to tell. It could be hours or days, depending on how much fight she has left in her.”

  “Can we take her off the ventilator, let her go?”

  Anna found it hard to keep from screaming, how could you? When she’d been in the same situation with Lucas, she had been working the phones 24/7, talking to everyone she could think of to try and save him.

  The ECMO machine would give Emma a chance. She didn’t want to give up hope yet. Against all odds, she’d found the machine, a way to pay for it and a helicopter to bring it back. She didn’t know Luke Williams, but the sincerity in his eyes made her believe that the man would do everything in his power to return with that machine. He reminded her of Nico in that way.

  Oh, Nico. He was still in the ICU. Although he was breathing on his own, he had a fever and his white blood count was high. Dr. Balachandra had given him pain medication to let him sleep and recover. Anna had looked everywhere for Maria but couldn’t find her. When she thought about how that whole scene in Nico’s room would have looked to the other woman, Anna’s stomach twisted in a thousand knots. Anna had been so focused on Nico that she hadn’t paused to consider that she was no longer the woman in Nico’s life. It was Maria’s job to be by his side. Nico was delirious; he probably had no sense of time and place. He’d seen Anna and latched on to her. She needed to find Maria and apologize. Set her straight.

  But first, she had to convince Emma’s parents to hold on without showing her hand just yet.

  “Let’s leave her on it for a little bit longer.”

  “Why? Dr. Atao, Troy and I don’t want her to be in pain anymore. We are ready to let her go.”

  How are you ready to do that? I still haven’t let go of my son who died five years ago.

  “Just a little bit longer. Please, just trust me.”

  She left Aurelia and set a timer on her phone to return in half an hour. They couldn’t spare the nursing staff to have someone monitor the NICU, so she needed to come back and check on Emma. Alarms would go off and draw staff if she crashed again.

  Except she didn’t know where to go. She was lost in more ways than one. Kat and Vickie were at Nana’s house as her personal guests. There had been a minor brouhaha about where Kat would stay. The governor had offered his house, which then brought Nana into the fray because she thought it was improper for a single man to be hosting two women. Kat and Vickie wanted to stay at a hotel, but of course no one would hear of that. While some hotels were becoming operational, locals considered it rude to let their guests stay there. So Nana finally won out and was hosting the two women. If Luke got back tonight, he’d be relegated to one of the cots assigned to the relief workers or go on base.

  As if some unseen force was pushing her, she went back to Nico’s room. She had passed by to check on him several times since he woke up.

  He was awake when she arrived. “Glad to see you up.”

  “I don’t know what you or Dr. Balachandra gave me, but I’m ready to get out of here,” he said, sitting up.

  “It’s that kind of bravado that put you in this position to begin with.”

  “There’s work to be done. This is my hospital.”

  “Nico!”

  They glared at each other. He did look strong and healthy, like the old Nico. She knew it was only a matter of time before he’d pull out his IVs and get back into the thick of things. His eyes softened.

  “I meant what I said earlier.”

  She sat on the edge of his bed and took his hand. He squeezed hers tightly, holding on to it.

  “I know. I’ve never stopped loving you, Nico.”

  “Go on, say the ‘but’...”

  “But I can’t picture a life on this island. And you can’t leave.”

  “I...”

  Before he could finish his sentence, she continued. “Nana told me about your father. About how he swindled everyone of their savings. I wish you’d told me.”

  “It wasn’t my story to tell.”

  “Does Maria know?”

  He nodded. “Nana told her, but she’d already heard the whole thing. She grew up here.” It was a nice way for him to cover up the fact that Nana had never trusted Anna enough to tell her when they were together.

  “I understand why you need to stay.”

  “I was ready to give up everything for you.”

  He’d said “was.” He was ready to give up everything for her five years ago, when she wasn’t ready to forgive him. Now it was her turn to do something for him. She leaned over and kissed his forehead.

  “It’s time for both of us to move on. When you’re better, we’ll go to the house in Tumon, decide what to do with it, then sign those papers. I think Maria has a working internet connection and printer now.”

  “When do you leave?”

  It took her a second to think about it. She’d stopped keeping track. “Roughly seven or eight days.”

  “Then I guess we don’t have much time.”

  Because she would never come back to Guam. A knock on the door finally made her look away from him. Nana walked in with a bag that smelled wonderful and Anna’s stomach rumbled embarrassingly. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d eaten.

  Nana kissed Nico on the cheek, then gave Anna a hug. She stood to leave but Nana waved her down. “You sit and eat too. I have enough for the both of you. Look at how thin you’ve become. Keep going like this and you will pass out.”

  Anna hadn’t eaten Nana’s cooking in five years; she wasn’t going to pass it up. Nana laid out bowls and poured hot soup from a thermos. Nico dug in and exchanged looks with Anna as Nana fussed about refilling their bowls and plating noodles when they were done with the soup. Nana was in her element. A shadow flitted across Nico’s face as his mother groaned while bending to pick up a ladle that fell on the floor. Anna knew what he was thinking. It wouldn’t be long before Nana couldn’t
do what she loved, feeding her family.

  “Tomorrow morning, I’m having breakfast for Katerina.” Pointing at Anna, she wagged her finger. “I want you to come so I can feed you proper food.”

  “Nana, it’s Congresswoman Driscoll-Santiago,” Nico said.

  “That’s what you call her. She’s Katerina to me.” Nico rolled his eyes but Anna gave him a brief nod and mouthed, “It’s okay.” She knew that Kat had probably insisted on Nana calling her by her given name.

  “And you, Nico, you think about leaving this bed before Anna says it’s okay and I’m going to bring my ruler and paddle your behind like I did when you were little.” Nico looked pained and Anna laughed as Nana pretended to slap him. He held out his arms and mother and son hugged, laughingly wiping tears from their eyes.

  Anna caught movement out of the corner of her eye and jumped up. She raced out of the room. “Maria, where are you going?”

  Maria tried to hide it but there was an unmistakable shine in her eyes. “You guys look busy. I’ll come back.”

  Anna grabbed her arm. “Your place is in there.”

  This time Maria couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks. Anna touched her shoulder. “He’s yours, Maria. This is your home—I’m just a visitor. I’ll leave in seven days, but you’ll be here to put all the pieces back together.”

  “He still loves you.” The pain in Maria’s eyes was so raw, Anna felt a knife slice her heart.

  “I’m his past, you’re his future. He loves you too. Everything you’ve seen between us, it’s closure, nothing more.”

  “I’ve loved him all my life, Anna. If you’re going to take him back, tell me now while my heart is still intact, while I still have some dignity.”

  Take him back? Was that even an option?

  She looked at Nico through the glass door. He was watching them. Their eyes locked and he made a fist, kissed it and put it on his heart. She didn’t know if the gesture was for her or Maria.

  There was no choice. She knew what she had to do.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  “ARE YOU OKAY?”

  Maria turned to Tom. She’d been sitting on a staircase. It was the only quiet place in the entire hospital. Somehow she knew he’d been looking for her.

  She wiped her cheeks and nodded. “Just the stress of the past few days catching up with me.”

  He put his arm around her and she stiffened. It was a friendly gesture, totally platonic. He retracted his arm.

  “Dr. Atao found a dialysis machine. I authorized payment for it from our general funds, so it should be here tomorrow.”

  That was one load off her.

  “And the DMAT team has a contact for the heart medications we need more of. There’s a distributor on the mainland that has enough supply. I’m hoping those will come in with the Red Cross shipment tomorrow.”

  “Thank you, Tom, I appreciate it.”

  “This is not just your problem. If anything, I’m responsible for everyone on this island. Tell me what you need and I’ll do my best to make it happen.”

  “Can you get me a structural engineer? We need to get this building checked.”

  “Let me make some phone calls.”

  “How about a CMO?”

  “Can’t help you there. Nico asked me to make a call to the surgeon general’s office requesting that Dr. Atao’s deployment be extended. They agreed.”

  Her breath caught. Nico hadn’t discussed it with her, but she knew what he was thinking and she didn’t disagree with him. Just wished he’d talked it over with her first. Typical impulsive Nico. Except it was more than that. He wanted Anna to stay in Guam and hadn’t discussed it with her. She’d have to deal with him later. She’d spent her entire night working with the plumber to fix leaks. Some of the local guys had reinforced boarded windows that had come loose during the hurricane. The water on the first floor had been mopped up and pumped out, but she was still worried about the foundation. The last thing they needed was for the building to collapse.

  “How’s Nico?”

  “He’s back to his old self. Dr. Balachandra said he can go home soon. Nico needs rest for a little while longer but we need the bed and the room.”

  “I’m glad he’s doing well. Must be a relief to you.”

  “It is.”

  “And what about Dr. Atao?”

  “What about her?”

  “You were concerned that he was still hung up on her. Is that why he requested her tour be extended?”

  I told this guy way too much. Should’ve kept my mouth shut.

  “I think the two of them are still in love but just too set in their own ways to see that they need to sacrifice themselves for the love of their life.” Her voice broke and a fresh torrent of tears wet her cheeks. Despite Anna’s assurances that she was returning home and there was no way she’d be with Nico, the raw love for him in her eyes and the naked adoration in his face was so obvious that Maria would have to have been blind not to see it.

  “Maria.”

  “Don’t say it, Tom. I know I deserve better. Nico is a good man. If he marries me, he’ll love me to the fullest and be a better husband than what 99 percent of the women in this world have. I should be happy with that. But I will always know that I don’t have all his heart.”

  “And you need to decide whether you can live with that.”

  Right.

  “Why don’t you leave the hospital to me and go home and get some sleep, maybe take a shower.”

  “Do I smell that bad?”

  He laughed, a deep baritone that came from his stomach, and she found herself smiling along with him.

  “There is no way you could look or smell bad.” His voice dropped and his eyes turned a warm chocolate brown. She wanted to melt into them. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. If you ask me, you deserve a man who thinks there is no other woman in the world for him, who will do anything you ask of him, a man who will worship at your feet.” His gaze pinned her and she couldn’t look away. “There are men out there who will love you like that, Maria.” The way he whispered her name made her arms prickle with goose bumps.

  His heart was completely open, and while he hadn’t said it, his eyes were clearly telling her that she had an invitation. Standing, he extended his arm, palm out. She didn’t hesitate this time. She placed her hand in his.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  A CHEER WENT up in the NICU when Anna plugged in the ECMO machine. She had two of the DMAT doctors and a few nurses helping her, and they’d set up a Skype connection with a neonatologist who actually knew how to work the machine. It had taken nearly the entire morning just to get the Skype working, but Anna needed the other doctor’s guidance. Everyone clapped as the machine came to life and Maria faded away from the crowd. She needed to get used to this. Hospital administrators were not heroes. It was about the doctors and nurses who saved lives, and Anna was one of them.

  Luke Williams, the army guy who’d brought the machine, sat in the corner while a nurse tended to the scrapes on his head and arms. Maria walked over to him. Obviously it hadn’t been an easy pickup. She reintroduced herself and sat down beside him once the nurse was finished bandaging.

  “You okay?”

  “I’m made of titanium. This is nothing.”

  “Did the machine come to life and do that?” She motioned to the gauze wrapping on his head.

  He laughed. “No, that was a pair of fake security guards who greeted me at the landing zone.”

  “What happened?”

  He shrugged. “Just a few complications.”

  So he was a tough guy. “Yeah, it can be hard making a deal in the Philippines. We get a lot of fantastic nursing staff from there, but every once in a while, you run into a scammer.”

&
nbsp; Luke nodded and shifted in his chair. Maria could tell that he was uncomfortable and she made a mental note to have one of the doctors check him for internal injuries.

  “The guards beat you up?”

  He scoffed. “No, they tried to beat me up. They were a couple of thugs who wanted to steal the helicopter so they could sell it on the black market. I’ve seen urban combat in Iraq—these guys were nothing.”

  “So you went into ninja mode and kicked their butts?”

  He gave a half smile, the kind that would look smirky on most men, but somehow he pulled it off. Maybe it was the mischievous blue eyes.

  “I’m surprised they handed you the machine without a bag full of cash.”

  “Yeah, that’s where I got this.” He lifted his shirt just enough to reveal another bandage. “The skinny guy from the company wanted hard US cash.”

  Maria had expected that. When she’d heard the whole plan to have Congresswoman Driscoll-Santiago sign a letter saying the US government would send money later, she’d tried to warn them that it wouldn’t work. Kat had no authority to commit funds like that. Granted, the Filipinos wouldn’t know that unless they were really savvy. The theory was that they would see a signature from someone in Congress and assume Kat had more power than she did. The Assistant Secretary for Preparedness and Response was working to get the money authorized for the machine and had promised to make it happen in a few days. Emma didn’t have that kind of time. Even an assistant secretary at Health and Human Services couldn’t get money to a foreign country that quickly. Maria understood how complicated it was to get their grant funding. It had taken upwards of seven months before they were able to draw down from the Treasury to build the hospital, and that was considered fast.